Dragon's Den - After Hours Edition.

Raiser

Basically you pitch your business idea as you would on the TV show and People can then analyse it and decide whether or not to invest based on its genius merits or unfortunate flaws - simples.

I'll get the ball rolling.......

Steriandle - An extra handle fitted on Toilet Doors for use only by People who have washed their hands!

You see them frequently in the pub, hotels, restaurants etc. - Filthy Gobshítes scrotum-scavenging, peeing all over their grubby hands, arsé-picking etc. and then by passing the washbasins and straight back out the door. You then wash your hands of course but you then have to use the same filthy, fecal, pubed-up handle :eek:

My Company aims to retro fit every toilet door on the Planet with a Steriandle situated 6 inches above the existing one - Profits are going to be immense, this is one of my last remaining days on this Earth not coked to the gills and chugging Champagne.

I'm looking for an investment of 50,000 and guaranteeing 2% of Global revenue for 5 years.

Small print - If you choose to take part in this thread you are assumed to have agreed to the following. If an idea born here subsequently becomes a commercial success then you are legally obliged to pay me 10% of all profits for life as without me you would have remained an unfulfilled entity. Seriously. I mean it.

NabyLadistheman

Im out.

kfallon

Bertie Ahern dart board, get them quick while stocks last, sure to be no.1 present for the Christmas!

xzanti

Oh yeah, sure.. Why don't I just post up the blueprints for the ********* while I'm at it :rolleyes:

Pfffft

Uriel.

Suarezistheman wrote: »

Im out.

I was never IN in the first place :cool:

Yakult

I'll give you €50 for 60% share. Sounds good, deal.

stupidusername

Mine is a stick. It's a special stick that allows the owner of it to beat stupid people / ignorant people / annoying children with it, and you face no penalities or judgements.

It will cost a reasonable €50.

kfallon

stupidusername wrote: »

Mine is a stick. It's a special stick that allows the owner of it to beat stupid people / ignorant people / annoying children with it, and you face no penalities or judgements.

It will cost a reasonable €50.

What's the lifespan??? Also will I get a refund if I break it off the first person???

GavRedKing

Just bring in hand santizer in your pocket / bag and spray your hands after you leave the bathroom?

Mickey H

stupidusername wrote: »

Mine is a stick. It's a special stick that allows the owner of it to beat stupid people / ignorant people / annoying children with it, and you face no penalities or judgements.

It will cost a reasonable €50.

Patent infringement. A wavin pipe has already been invented. I'm out.

AlmightyCushion

A super fun happy slide that is fitted to the side of skyscrapers and other tall buildings which lets you exit the building quickly and is much more fun than an elevator.

A kettle with wifi built in so you can boil it remotely from anywhere you have an internet connection. Actually just stick wifi in everything, wifi is great.

You'll have to pick 5 people to be the Dragons themselves. Obviously there'll be no money involved, unless someone wants to take it that extra step!

The Master

o

you know, for kids

podgemonster

Ok here is my idea,been going back in forth in my head for a number of years now.

Mint Jaffa Cakes

c_man

My product: A bottle bin for blue coloured bottles.

I'm never sure which one to throw them into. This would solve all sorts of confusion across the country (especially for big Harveys Bristol Cream drinkers).

I want E250,000 for 10% of my company.

ejmaztec

Yakult wrote: »

I'll give you €50 for 60% share. Sounds good, deal.

You seem a smart guy, do you want to buy some snake-oil @ €100 a shot?

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Mine is a Strawberry seeder.
Fed up of those pesky seeds on strawberrys?
for €19.99.99 the patented strawberry seeder will make your life complete.

I require a one time investment of €1 million dollars for 100% of the company

Coming soon, Peach-Fuzz Shavers

AlmightyCushion

A real life ignore button so you can ignore people you don't like in real life. It won't actually be a button of course, instead it will be a baseball bat with ignore written on it.

mikom

podgemonster wrote: »

Ok here is my idea,been going back in forth in my head for a number of years now.

Mint Jaffa Cakes

Viscount me out.

mickdw

I think the steriandle has a few flaws.

Im out.

Steridoor is where its at. Thanks for the idea.

Sykk

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

A super fun happy slide that is fitted to the side of skyscrapers and other tall buildings which lets you exit the building quickly and is much more fun than an elevator.

No that would never work, don't bother.

*rings patent office*

RachaelVO

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

A real life ignore button so you can ignore people you don't like in real life. It won't actually be a button of course, instead it will be a baseball bat with ignore written on it.

I'll bloody well sign over the deeds to my house if you can pull that one off!

mikom

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

A real life ignore button so you can ignore people you don't like in real life.

Pound shop version already out.....

junipergreen wrote: »

This is a bizarre post but I really would like other people's opinions on my weirdo neighbour's bizarre behaviour...

So there's an old man who lives next door to my apartment building. Never even noticed him until this freaky **** started a few weeks ago - he came out his gate and walked past us with a newspaper held up to hide his face from off. Several times me and my flatmate have seen him walk past our window with the newspaper held up too. Now if it was a once off I wouldn't think anything of, or alternatively if he did it all the time I wouldn't take it personally - but as of today we're 100% sure this is just for us. He walked past as we were outside smoking and as soon as he passed us he took the newspaper down. He walked past his gate and kept going so I peeped around the corner to see what he was up to - only to see him turn around, realise that I was looking at him and promptly throw the newspaper back up in front of his face. WTF?

Any suggestions as to what on earth is going through this man's head? Having seen his face today I know that I don't recognise him at all, so it's definitely not someone I've ever had a run in with. We're totally freaked out by this and not really sure what's going on - any help?!

biko

A toilet brush with a gear knob, for when driving the porcelain bus.
Idea is yours for free.

Corkfeen

I was gonna say a twitter toilet but they apparently exist already.

lookinbusy

I'll give you 100% of my business for a tenner, the idea is for an 'anti-thanks' button for boards, maybe it could be called the 'F*ck off' button

Lando Griffin

Sick of your orange coloured tan?
Want to stand out from the crowd.
Introducing TanTints, the multi coloured tan.
Available in a wide range of colours and even mix your own colour.

Fremen

Gerbils. I'm gonna sell gerbils.

Money please?

smurgen

china men in a cage service- for the wealthy alcoholic.Say you're rich and bate from the drink and in the market for a new liver, i have the perfect solution for ya - a fresh chinaman's liver . Basically have a load of naked china men in a cage with a massive electronic claw over the top of the cage. You wheel in the alco millionaire and let them choose which chinamans liver they'd like.
Now the "lucky" cihinaman is probably gona run away from the mechanical claw so you're gona have to bribe the other chinamen to restrain him, throwing in a few chicken balls or a few 3 in 1's, that aught to do the trick.
Next grab him with said claw. Power hose him and restrain him, then it's staight into the operating theatre and before you know it hey presto! There you have it a fresh, untainted liver! Withing 2 weeks the millionaire is back in his local drinking gin and tonics.

silvershark

My Idea:

Condom in a Can (TM)...

Its a sprayable latex compound which can be sprayed straight to the required area, hardens on contact with the skin (pun intended). Especially useful for use when drunk reducing risk of breakages and tearing by fingernails.

Need cash injection to develop flavoured varieties and branch out into other areas like sprayable latex gloves, etc..

250,000 for 1% share - theres alot of drunk horny people around

Genghiz Cohen

A device which allows you to strangle and viciously beat someone you are talking to across the internet or phone.
Patent Pending.

AlmightyCushion

A new range of flavoured condoms. The flavours would be salt and vinegar, smokey bacon, cheese and onion etc. We could set up a joint venture with tayto.

silvershark

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

A new range of flavoured condoms. The flavours would be salt and vinegar, smokey bacon, cheese and onion etc. We could set up a joint venture with tayto.

Can I incorporate that with my invention in Post 30?

Could be then also used as some sort of self-defence spray that women could carry around in their handbag and use on potential attackers. So it would be a multi-functional love/hate product

FetchTheGin

2nd hand toilet roll.

Not only is it viable, it's recession proof.

6,000,000,000 for 0.1% of the business and you can join me in earning cents.

minidazzler

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

A super fun happy slide that is fitted to the side of skyscrapers and other tall buildings which lets you exit the building quickly and is much more fun than an elevator.

A kettle with wifi built in so you can boil it remotely from anywhere you have an internet connection. Actually just stick wifi in everything, wifi is great.

We'll have to wait for IPV6 for that to be doable really. Otherwise you will have to buy a sh1t tonne of IP addresses, unless you set it up in your home network and allow it to be accessible from outside the home. That would be pretty cool but it would totally be hacked and ****ed with.

Handy11

HyperHelper

A small injection that, when administered, makes the person hyperglycemic for the day, allowing them to eat like hoores as much as they want. Perfect for those buffets or barbeques that you want to try everything.

Why not try it twice!!!

Hyperhelper.

AlmightyCushion

A coin counter that you stick down the back of the couch. Whenever money falls down the back of your couch, this will collect and organise it and then sound an alarm once it has collected more than ten euro.

FetchTheGin

Lottery Predictor- Self explanatory really.

AlmightyCushion

minidazzler wrote: »

We'll have to wait for IPV6 for that to be doable really. Otherwise you will have to buy a sh1t tonne of IP addresses, unless you set it up in your home network and allow it to be accessible from outside the home. That would be pretty cool but it would totally be hacked and ****ed with.

I was thinking of setting up a dyndns style service and have the kettle automatically update it whenever you ip address changes. That way you just got mykettle.kettle.com (or whatever your unique url is) and it would take you to your kettle providing you have opened the necessary port.

silvershark

Cake shield

http://youtu.be/IIgdGTg5mSw

Turnover Year 1?
Apple...

billybudd

a special mirror that in the morning makes you look great and tells you that you are:

Handsome/beautiful

successful/going to be

great personality

will have any man/woman you want

and that in 5 yrs you will be mortgage free.




it will of course smirk when you leave.

Lando Griffin

billybudd wrote: »

a special mirror that in the morning makes you look great and tells you that you are:

Handsome/beautiful

successful/going to be

great personality

will have any man/woman you want

and that in 5 yrs you will be mortgage free.




it will of course smirk when you leave.

You could have 2 versions one for the private sector and the other for public sector.
The private sector will be brutally honest while the public one would have you living in a surreal world full of extra little add ons of niceness.

Duggy747

An X-Ray machine built into a washing machine that alarms you if you've left anything in your pockets.

Why waste money on temporary tans when you can have real tanned skin? My company will provide actual human skin from deceased people of all colours that your can stick on yourself like a pair of long johns. :pac:

Perfumed scented smokes so others can have nice whiff of nature / chocolate / vagina as you puff.

Toilet extractor - Extracts any undigested food from your poo and puts it in a bowl, ready to be used again. More food, less expense!!

I ask for €150,000 for 22.38654% share of my company.

pablomakaveli

A new kind of pest remover.

"Tired of people who uses phrases like bored.com or tired.com. then this product is for you"

A simple microphone is connected to a laser cannon that automatically targets and vaporizes anyone that the microphone hears uttering these phrases.

Only €29.95 when you call 1500-HERP-DERP.

Warning: Product may not be suitable for anyone who works with computers or pregnant women.

Raiser

Coloured, scented 100% roughage marketed to the last in cereal type boxes - Basically you eat a couple of servings daily and from then onwards all your poos are transferred from foul, bobbing king size snickers to something beautiful in purple or whatever colour suits that smells like lavender or vanilla etc.

Poos you can be proud of - Flushing optional, why not leave it there for others to enjoy? Companies could provide it in corporate colours to motivate workers and so on. Advertising Houses could have miniature logos, branding - The options are endless.

- Update your Facebook page with your midday 2 pounder in magenta with glitter and cascades of stars.

Orando Broom

* Robs the good ideas thanks to help from venture capitalist Uncle.

MungBean

Whats the biggest problem facing men today ? Thats right itchy arse syndrome. What to do ? Do you scratch it and get a stinky finger ? Or scrape at it with toilet paper in the hope that you hit the spot. Maybe even try poke a bit of something up in there in a vain attempt to ease your discomfort.

Well dont worry, you dont have to live in a world of misery, itchiness and smelly fingers.

Gentlemen I give you the ArsePal !! *round of applause*
Its a unique glove made specifically for scratching your sphincter.

Whenever you get the itch you stick this on scratch away to your hearts content safe in the knowledge that your fingers wont be touching bits of poo. Not near a bathroom ? No need to panic the handy thing (hahah stop it your killin me) is that its completely discrete and just looks like an ordinary glove, so wherever you are you can jam your hand in your pants stick your finger right in there for a scratch and when your done just stick it in your pocket.

Dont have a pocket ? Well then its game over. Really ? Of course not !!, the amazing thing about the ArsePal is that its dual purpose and can actually be used as a normal glove. Simply remove the glove and turn it inside out then pop it back on and go about your day free of the tyranny that is the itchy arse.

I am looking for 500k for 10% of the company. 10k of that will go into manufacture, 10k into research to expand into the left hand market and the rest will go into marketing/wages.

Thank you for your time. Any questions ?

billybudd

Skunkle wrote: »

Whats the biggest problem facing men today ? Thats right itchy arse syndrome. What to do ? Do you scratch it and get a stinky finger ? Or scrape at it with toilet paper in the hope that you hit the spot. Maybe even try poke a bit of something up in there in a vain attempt to ease your discomfort.

Well dont worry, you dont have to live in a world of misery, itchiness and smelly fingers.

Gentlemen I give you the ArsePal !! *round of applause*
Its a unique glove made specifically for scratching your sphincter.

Whenever you get the itch you stick this on scratch away to your hearts content safe in the knowledge that your fingers wont be touching bits of poo. Not near a bathroom ? No need to panic the handy thing (hahah stop it your killin me) is that its completely discrete and just looks like an ordinary glove, so wherever you are you can jam your hand in your pants stick your finger right in there for a scratch and when your done just stick it in your pocket.

Dont have a pocket ? Well then its game over. Really ? Of course not !!, the amazing thing about the ArsePal is that its dual purpose and can actually be used as a normal glove. Simply remove the glove and turn it inside out then pop it back on and go about your day free of the tyranny that is the itchy arse.

I am looking for 500k for 10% of the company. 10k of that will go into manufacture, 10k into research to expand into the left hand market and the rest will go into marketing/wages.

Thank you for your time. Any questions ?

Or you could just wipe your hole properly. zero capital:rolleyes:

MungBean

billybudd wrote: »

Or you could just wipe your hole properly. zero capital:rolleyes:

Thank you for your input sir. Unfortunately itchy arse syndrome isnt just caused by lack of wiping although it can be a factor. It can be caused by a variety of factors and is almost impossible to eradicate. There is no other product on the market today that is designed to combat this issue.

Also I forgot to mention in my initial pitch that it does come in two different colours.

billybudd

Thank you for your prompt response, it is noted.

with a clean arse free from fecal matter surely scratching it would be like scratching your arm.

mehfesto

*Heavy Scottish accent*

I'm oot. So why dooon't youuh Arse your Pal righ' oot that door!