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SEX question

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13

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    #62
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Seachmall wrote: »
    As they would be, all that ovulation and what not.

    Guys evolved to ride everything left, right and center.
    Women didn't.

    Men's "obsession" with sex isn't a social factor, it's an evolutionary one.

    Yes, that's when we ovulate, when we're on our period. We bleed it out in the hopes it will be more easily fertilised, yay evolution. Please use condoms.

    Aaaanyways, while obviously it varies from person to person I'd say men do think/talk about it more. And now I'm thinking about it. Brb.


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    #63
    Idjit
    Registered Users Posts: 853 ✭✭✭Idjit


    I think the average man and woman think about it in equal amounts. There is still that idea that men are sex-crazed and that women are demure..I think that idea actually contributes to women behaving as if they really are reserved about it because they don't want to have a bad reputation.


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    #64
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Jade182 wrote: »
    I think the average man and woman think about it in equal amounts. There is still that idea that men are sex-crazed and that women are demure..I think that idea actually contributes to women behaving as if they really are reserved about it because they don't want to have a bad reputation.

    Yeah and maybe guys talk about it more than they would naturally because they feel they have to or something? I've often wondered about that. One guy did once tell me he felt self-conscious about how LITTLE he wanked and thought about sex. I mean in hindsight he was trying to have sex with me but it still could be true. So come on guys, who are the big nancies who don't think about sex all the time?


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    #65
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I think yeah, women do have to play it down a little, depending on company, as the older generation wouldn't be open about it.


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    #66
    iPlop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,822 ✭✭✭iPlop


    I think about it constantly


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    #67
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Sink The Banana wrote: »
    I think about it constantly

    Sink The Banana, I'm shocked!


    Why, your name appears to be some sort of innuendo!


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    #68
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Millicent wrote: »
    Sink The Banana, I'm shocked!


    Why, your name appears to me some sort of innuendo!

    That's just your filthy mind :rolleyes:


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    #69
    Millicent
    Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Russell Nice Loner wrote: »
    That's just your filthy mind :rolleyes:

    How very dare you. Sex is for procreation and for when the heating's broken. Mostly the first one though.


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    #70
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    Russell Nice Loner wrote: »
    Yeah and maybe guys talk about it more than they would naturally because they feel they have to or something? I've often wondered about that. One guy did once tell me he felt self-conscious about how LITTLE he wanked and thought about sex. I mean in hindsight he was trying to have sex with me but it still could be true. So come on guys, who are the big nancies who don't think about sex all the time?
    Of course it could be true, and of course social pressure not to be a big nancy plays on men the same way that social pressure plays on women not to be slutty. It's all such a huge pile of bull****.


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    #71
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    Of course it could be true, and of course social pressure not to be a big nancy plays on men the same way that social pressure plays on women not to be slutty. It's all such a huge pile of bull****.

    Agreed on the bull**** bit. It's just that I assume that most adults have a fairly high sex drive, is it the case that the clichés about men thinking about it all the time are true and a broadly accurate reflection of men's sex drive and that the cliché about women not thinking about is so much isn't true but rather a result of social pressures and conditioning OR is it the case that neither are true and we're all being ****ed over into behaving/speaking in a way that doesn't reflect our libidos?

    I'd say I have a fairly high sex drive but I can't imagine thinking about sex as much as men are professed to.


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    #72
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    Russell Nice Loner wrote: »
    Agreed on the bull**** bit. It's just that I assume that most adults have a fairly high sex drive, is it the case that the clichés about men thinking about it all the time are true and a broadly accurate reflection of men's sex drive and that the cliché about women not thinking about is so much isn't true but rather a result of social pressures and conditioning OR is it the case that neither are true and we're all being ****ed over into behaving/speaking in a way that doesn't reflect our libidos?
    I'd say it's almost impossible to determine. A good start would be dropping all the social pressure to conform to gender norms though, IMO anyway. :)
    I'd say I have a fairly high sex drive but I can't imagine thinking about sex as much as men are professed to.
    And I can't imagine not doing so! :pac:


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    #73
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    I'd say it's almost impossible to determine. A good start would be dropping all the social pressure to conform to gender norms though, IMO anyway. :)

    Yeah, see the problem I'd see with that is: how long would you be able to last being open and honest about your sex drive while dealing with the endless amount of unwanted male attention it would bring with it?

    These social norms are sometimes ridiculous when put to scrutiny, but sometimes they're there for good reason.


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    #74
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    :confused:

    Why would there be an endless amount of unwanted attention?


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    #75
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    :confused:

    Why would there be an endless amount of unwanted attention?

    Ah I won't even tell you, I'll show you. Give it a try being open and honest about all your sexual wants and desires on boards, sure, and wait for the ";);)" PMs to come flooding! :p


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    #76
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    I'm not proposing that women go around broadcasting all their sexual fantasies, just that they not lie to avoid appearing 'slutty'.

    Too many women are hung up on tailoring themselves to fit what men want (e.g. "Oh if I 'give in' then I'll look like a slut and he won't like me" kinda crap). I say fvck that - do as you please and if the guy minds then he's not worth worrying about anyway.


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    #77
    BBDBB
    Registered Users Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    I like you gargleblaster, you've got spunk!


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    #78
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    I'm not proposing that women go around broadcasting all their sexual fantasies, just that they not lie to avoid appearing 'slutty'.

    Too many women are hung up on tailoring themselves to fit what men want (e.g. "Oh if I 'give in' then I'll look like a slut and he won't like me" kinda crap). I say fvck that - do as you please and if the guy minds then he's not worth worrying about anyway.

    Oh that wrecks my head. I mean it's fair enough if a woman is looking for something serious and suspects the man isn't and so takes it slow to see if he'll stick around without getting any...but at the same time, if you want to, just have sex. If he sticks around, great, if he's just after the ride sure at least you got the ride. Nothing wrong with the ride. If he WAS going to entertain the idea of a serious relationship but then decided you weren't good enough because you slept with him then you're well rid anyway.


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    #79
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    I'm not proposing that women go around broadcasting all their sexual fantasies, just that they not lie to avoid appearing 'slutty'.

    Too many women are hung up on tailoring themselves to fit what men want (e.g. "Oh if I 'give in' then I'll look like a slut and he won't like me" kinda crap). I say fvck that - do as you please and if the guy minds then he's not worth worrying about anyway.

    No, fair play and by all means go for it if that's how you feel. I hope it works out, genuinely!

    For the sake of discussion, I'd counter that not wanting to look like a slut would be more of a defence mechanism against lads who only see women in terms of 'get yer bit and split', when perhaps they want a more meaningful interaction OR just don't want to be slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need. So, from that standpoint, I'd say it's an understandable (I'd even go as far as to say extremely intelligent) way to act.

    But different strokes and all that! :cool:


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    #80
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    BBDBB wrote: »
    I like you gargleblaster, you've got spunk!
    So many disgusting things that could be said in response to that. :pac:
    leggo wrote: »
    No, fair play and by all means go for it if that's how you feel. I hope it works out, genuinely!

    For the sake of discussion, I'd counter that not wanting to look like a slut would be more of a defence mechanism against lads who only see women in terms of 'get yer bit and split', when perhaps they want a more meaningful interaction OR just don't want to be slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need. So, from that standpoint, I'd say it's an understandable (I'd even go as far as to say extremely intelligent) way to act.

    But different strokes and all that! :cool:
    How is it a defense mechanism? It's not as if the men who think of women as nothing but a conquest are going to change if she pretends she doesn't want to have sex with them.

    And if a man is like that, why the hell would she want to attempt any sort of meaningful interaction with them?

    Don't understand your point about not wanting to be "slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need". If I want to **** a guy I kinda do want that. Not every sexual encounter has to be making love.


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    #81
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    stupidusername wrote: »
    I think, for me at least it varies on phases, rather than mood. well i suppose the phases would be based on mood though. I seem to go through phases where I'm quite interested to not so interested. I think my current phase is dying down a bit.

    like some sort of....monthly cycle?, oh I think Im onto it, I think I will call it a period rather than phase though in my paper..

    *collects phd*


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    #82
    py2006
    Registered Users Posts: 9,847 ✭✭✭py2006


    Sunshine! wrote: »
    I think hormones and lifestyles come into it quite a bit. My sex drive is through the roof and I get very frustrated very easily (most of the time) and I find I have a mind geared towards sex/nudity/activity etc more than most. I'm female but not "average" as in I see myself as one of the lads mostly. Having said that, I've looked very brazen with some men who were quite shy and unfamiliar with anything sexual, and it also has to deal with the levels of exposure they've had to stuff like that growing up, if it's been seen as ok or seedy or whatever. I think the myth that women don't think about sex too often was busted a long time ago anyway.

    But am quite happy being an almost constantly horny b!tch :pac:

    coffee?


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    #83
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    BBDBB wrote: »
    I like you gargleblaster, you've got spunk!

    lots of it Id say..


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    #84
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    How is it a defense mechanism? It's not as if the men who think of women as nothing but a conquest are going to change if she pretends she doesn't want to have sex with them.

    And if a man is like that, why the hell would she want to attempt any sort of meaningful interaction with them?

    It's not so much that they want to change him, it's that they're testing to see if he is like that to begin with imo. Not everyone is as honest in their intentions as you, unfortunately, gargleblaster!

    What you're suggesting is nice and, like I said, if it leads to your eternal happiness then I'm more than happy to concede this inconsequential online debate with you! But men may sometimes approach, or even be in a relationship with, a woman just seeing her as a hole needing to be filled. It's no harm, no foul if both parties agree to this. But if a woman goes into it under the pretense that this is a loving partnership and it turns out it's not, then she's likely to be hurt and misled. Thus, this defence mechanism exists.

    One thing I DO agree on, and I don't think a lot of men even realise this, is that women are much more open to casual encounters than many may think, even in this day and age. What neither men nor women are into, though, is people being deceitful with their intentions.

    Don't understand your point about not wanting to be "slobbered over like a piece of meat only there to serve the man's every need". If I want to **** a guy I kinda do want that. Not every sexual encounter has to be making love.

    The key word in the part you've quoted is the word "only."

    It's not a case of making love versus ****ing. It's a case of having more self-worth than seeing yourself as merely a vessel to carry other men's sperm. In the scenario you outlined, where does your own pleasure and gratification come into play if you are only there to please him?


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    #85
    ScumLord
    Registered Users Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    Women don't have to think about sex as much because men will constantly remind them.


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    #86
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    More testosterone = higher sex drive, so yeah men are more preoccupied with sex than women. Having said that some women are downright scary when they get the horn.


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    #87
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    leggo wrote: »
    What neither men nor women are into, though, is people being deceitful with their intentions.
    Wholeheartedly agree with you there.
    The key word in the part you've quoted is the word "only."

    It's not a case of making love versus ****ing. It's a case of having more self-worth than seeing yourself as merely a vessel to carry other men's sperm. In the scenario you outlined, where does your own pleasure and gratification come into play if you are only there to please him?
    That comment is - er, puzzling. I'll just say that.

    Who says that's all anyone sees themselves as? That's a lot to read into a comment IMO. The act of sex is supposed to be about mutual pleasure and pleasing each other.

    I guess I just never had the time or inclination to go about 'testing' anyone. The way I see it, life's too short for that. And I refuse to live my life by someone else's definition of self-worth.


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    #88
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Ah look, no need to get serious here, 'twas all for the sake of discussion. I'm not trying to lecture you on what kind of self-worth you should have. Like I said, I admire your attitude in a way and more power to you if it makes you happy! :)


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    #89
    af_thefragile
    Registered Users Posts: 7,171 ✭✭✭af_thefragile


    Men are more visual and think about the act itself. Why men's magazines contains of naked girls and lots of tits.

    Women are more visceral and think about the things before/leading to the act such as flirting, foreplay etc. Which is why women's magazines and trashy novels have a lot of crap about "top 10 tips" and a lot of flirting, foreplay, dirty talk etc.


    And from some of the girls I've come to known, they think about all that crap a lot more than men do. They might not think about sex and get horny as often. But they think about flirting with that guy and what he might be like to kiss or in bed etc. a lot of the time...

    For men its more of ohh she's hot!, check out her legs, arse and tits... I better make a visit to the bathroom... And it over.


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    #90
    billybudd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,497 ✭✭✭billybudd


    men visually undress women, women mentaly undress men.


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    #91
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Saila wrote: »
    like some sort of....monthly cycle?, oh I think Im onto it, I think I will call it a period rather than phase though in my paper..

    *collects phd*

    Well yeah that's obviously part of it,but no I mean longer phases as in around 2months or more


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