Would you date someone from a foreign country?

Barbieliveshere

Recently had a conversation with a friend, who said she wouldn't be interested in going out with someone from a foreign country as some of the cultures are too different. Surely this isn't the case with a lot of woman is it? Can you just write off a person because of where there from?

I do understand that sometimes religion comes into it, but as an ever growing multi cultural country is this train of thought common amongst us? Do woman prefer irish to foreigners? If so for what reason?

Malari

No, I wouldn't rule someone out just because they were a foreigner, but I've only gone out with native English speakers before. I feel the subtleties of my sense of humour and just ease of understanding in general are better coped with in English

Religion doesn't come into it for me, as long as it is not present.

baby and crumble

I wouldn't, but I could understand if some people did. If they are from somewhere very far away, eventually if it's long term, someone has to move away from their home country and family... it might be a very divisive thing for some people, depending on ties they already have.

If it's just because they're 'furriners' then, no, that's just silly.

Ickle Magoo

I married someone from a foreign country...

themadchef

Beggers cant be choosers :pac:


Seriously, if you're going to do a checklist of what fits your box (matron)before they open their mouths, then you'd be missing out on a whole world of experience.

Kash

I certainly would... and I have just gone the whole hog and married one.

He's French and I love the fact that he has little cultural oddities that seem insane to me, and the turns of phrase that are clearly lost in translation - endearments in French can be odd: "ma puce" and "mon choux" are my flea, and my cauliflower... so sometime best left untranslated

Other things are too funny to ignore, he has 'foot fingers' instead of toes and 'head skin' instead of a scalp.

I agree with Malari - the subtleties of language were missing in the beginning of our relationship. Humour was one thing we shared, but our puns wouldn't always make sense to the other for example. And sometimes a chance phrase from one could unintentionally upset the other. But this meant that we both made more effort to make sure we were understood. To be honest, this extra effort would have helped in my previous (native language) relationships, picking people up wrong (deliberately or not) is common across the board.

Having to explain the occasional Chritmas cracker joke is a small price to pay for having a fabulous, romantic, sexy husband with an accent to die for

Uriel.

I'm seeing a Greek girl for the past 6 months here in Ireland.

Her English is practically perfect. There are some slang and general Irish humour things she doesn't get which is unfortunated - like watching "In Brugges" recently, i was wetting myself through the whole film, whereas she only got the "big LOL" moments - didn't pick up on the subtle Irish humour portrayed by Farrell and Gleeson.

Having said that, over the past six months she is certainly picking up more of the subtlties and slang etc ...

Future is probably the big thing though (very long-term). Not sure what will happen down the road. No matter how I feel about her I can't see my self upping sticks to moveto Greece permanently and not sure if she'll lcw in Ireland forever. There will surely be difficulties, like If a family member of hers got sick (long term illness).

We've decided for now not to worry too much about the future in that sense and just enjoy each other... Not sure if that's a great thing or not but it works for now.

I guess OP you just have to weigh up the individual circumstances.

In principal I don't see any major reason why any one would have difficulties dating a foreigner but it can all depend on individual circumstances. I certainly wouldn't be ruling out a foreigner just on the basis of them being foreign

daenerysstormborn3

I have but it didn't work out, not related to our nationalities.

I think for people who say they wouldn't date a foreign person it doesn't just fit into the "being racist" category.

Siuin

Tbh I find 'foreignness' to be a plus- learning about eachother's cultures, traditions etc adds interest to a relationship and serves as a reminder that the world doesn't revolve around our own little island. I'm dating a 'foreigner' at the moment, and have never met someone I could relate to so personally in all my life. They may eat different food, know different languages, have a different sense of humour, but sincerity, selflessness and genuine kind heartedness always comes through. My boyfriend is a hybrid of nationalities, but I simply never think of him as being an 'other'- we hold a similar world view, share common interests and have the same life goals, so the only inconvenience is the hardship of a long distance relationship!

Dudess

When you say "foreign country" do you mean a country with a markedly different culture to one's own? As in, in the case of Irish people, dating someone from anywhere that isn't Britain/America/Australia/New Zealand? If so, I'm sure I would. Never have done (apart from one-night thingies :pac:) and I really am a sucker for the Anglo-Irish (or whatever you call it) sense of humour, which would be the main thing that attracts me to men, but I wouldn't rule it out. Depends on the dude.

LenaClaire

I am from a foreign country and I married an Irish man... so yes

EverEvolving

My boyfriend is from England but tbh I don't really count that as dating a foreigner. The two cultures are very similar (ducks for cover!). The main area I notice any difference is when I come out with a slang saying or say a word in Irish that is in my vocabulary like 'I'm off to my leaba' or something like that. Since we moved to Galway it's pretty funny listening to him pronounce the names of the estates as quite a few are in Irish.

For me, nationality wouldn't come in to it so long as we were compatible.

starlit

No. They are more trouble than they are worth! Different culture and values, differences in opinion and perhaps on religious grounds that sort of thing always gets in the way! Ok to be friends with them but anything more no.:o

R.D. aka MR.D

The sense of humour thing as mentioned by others is huge to me so for that reason I couldn't see myself ending up with some one who wasn't Irish or British.

Da Shins Kelly

No way, it wouldn't put me off. I can understand a little easier if someone was less inclined to date a foreigner with whom there is a language barrier - humour is something that can really be lost if there's a language barrier. I would definitely give it a go though. I was briefly involved with a guy from Spain, and he was lovely, although his English was excellent so that did help. He was a great guy - very clever, witty and extroverted. I had a great time with him, and he helped to introduce me to more aspects of Spanish culture that maybe I wouldn't have experienced without him. I think maybe the only foreigners that I would find it more difficult to cope with would perhaps be those from more socially conservative backgrounds or cultures. I think there could be a culture clash there. I'd definitely be willing to give it a chance though anyway, if I liked someone enough.

Penny Dreadful

I did. It didn't work out. A *****r is a *****r wherever they're from.

Rookster

It is usually for desperate people who cannot find anyone within their own country.

who the fug

Rookster wrote: »

It is usually for desperate people who cannot find anyone within their own country.

Or people who see somthing wrong in marrying their first cousin

Lady Chuckles

I'm foreign and dating an Irishman
I'm more than happy and I think he is too.

Rookster

who the fug wrote: »

Or people who see somthing wrong in marrying their first cousin

If your first cousin is your only option there must be something wrong with you.;)

Lady Chuckles

Rookster wrote: »

It is usually for desperate people who cannot find anyone within their own country.

What a narrow-minded thing to say.
I seriously hope you're joking.

LeeHoffmann

I've only ever went on one date - it was with a foreigner and we're engaged. I find it can be more interesting, particularly for a novelty-junkie like me, as the other person comes from a different culture, has a different (national) history and may speak a different first language. All of these things will inform their world view and help shape their attitudes and perspective.

Generally, I find that if you turn the mind on, the body will follow -so somebody who has a different perspective and background from whom I can learn a lot has an automatic advantage.

Regarding language barriers, that can be frustrating. My OH had pretty good English when we first met but I did find I had to simplify my speech a lot at the start. However, he improved very quickly and you wouldn't even know he wasn't Irish at this stage! I also got the opportunity to learn a second language from him so I feel like I was really lucky.

Obviously Irish men have many advantages too, but I wouldn't rule out foreigners either.

Ickle Magoo

Rookster infracted for inflammatory trolling.

I'd advise that you take the time to read the forum charter here and Boards general posting rules and etiquette here if you wish to continue posting in this forum.

Many thanks

Dudess

doovdela wrote: »

No. They are more trouble than they are worth! Different culture and values, differences in opinion and perhaps on religious grounds that sort of thing always gets in the way!

Best to judge in the actual situation rather than just making your mind up about things that may not even be a concern if you like the person enough...

LeeHoffmann

Different culture and values, differences in opinion and perhaps on religious grounds that sort of thing always gets in the way!

I think that's what makes it interesting! If I wanted someone the same as me, I'd date a mirror. Mirror mirror on the wall - who is the fairest of them all? Me, of course

Kash

They are more trouble than they are worth! Different culture and values, differences in opinion and perhaps on religious grounds that sort of thing always gets in the way!

I would get bored very quickly of anyone who agreed with everything I said. I certainly would not want to be with them very long. Besides, if someone opposes your values, your cullture or your religion, you should be able to talk through them. Their arguments will either sway you into having a more relaxed view, or they will make your own arguments stronger. Experience changes you - if you never experience anything outside of your 'norm', you'll stagnate.

Neyite

I have dated foreign guys - I did like learning about cultural differences and all that, but the last one was a twat, and whenever I pulled him on saying something to me that was insulting or derogatory, he hid behind 'language barrier' as his defence when in fact he had an excellent standard of english. I loved the country and the people he was from, just not him

jaffacakesyum

Absolutely. A bit ridiculous to say you would never date a foreigner :eek:

Well I am marring a Welsh man soon dose that count as dating someone from a foreign country?

LeeHoffmann

Yes. Wales is a foreign country

The funny thing is when I read that thread title I keep thing of dating someone who didn't have English as first language but yeah across the pond is a foreign country and there is a cultural difference it very small but its is still there and its very had to describe.

Catari Jaguar

Oh god yes! In a heartbeat! I'd be a multicultural whore. Unfortunately (:p) I'm engaged to an Irish bloke so it means I can't experience many many men from many many exotic places. I've definitly got a thing for "Cool Asians" with the awesome clothes and swoosh fringe hair.

Seriously though, I appreciate beauty in everyone, I guess because they're not the norm they seem more attractive. I'm sure I'd be a hit in their countries too. But I love the long eyelashes, the different skin tones, the accents... *swoon*. I guess living in the city centre makes you appreciate the variety of people around you and you meet so many people from all over the world. The world is too large, interesting and exciting to be parochial.

If my relationship ended (touch wood), I don't think I'd be interested in dating anyone long term, but more open to casually seeing a few people and if they're from other countries and I got to experience their culture, language, foods etc then I'd consider myself very lucky. Plus they'd be great tour guides if you visit their home country!

IvyTheTerrible

Kash wrote: »

I certainly would... and I have just gone the whole hog and married one.

He's French and I love the fact that he has little cultural oddities that seem insane to me, and the turns of phrase that are clearly lost in translation - endearments in French can be odd: "ma puce" and "mon choux" are my flea, and my cauliflower... so sometime best left untranslated

Other things are too funny to ignore, he has 'foot fingers' instead of toes and 'head skin' instead of a scalp.

I agree with Malari - the subtleties of language were missing in the beginning of our relationship. Humour was one thing we shared, but our puns wouldn't always make sense to the other for example. And sometimes a chance phrase from one could unintentionally upset the other. But this meant that we both made more effort to make sure we were understood. To be honest, this extra effort would have helped in my previous (native language) relationships, picking people up wrong (deliberately or not) is common across the board.

Having to explain the occasional Chritmas cracker joke is a small price to pay for having a fabulous, romantic, sexy husband with an accent to die for

I could have written this! Met my French man in Ireland and we have been living in France for the last 2.5 years. As his English and my French improved, our understanding of cultural differences got better.

EGAR

I am a foreigner living in Ireland for 15 years now and my man is Irish, I met him 9 years ago. English is not my native tongue although by now I sound like a Culchie with a weird accent not many can pinpoint .

Storminateacup

As long as the other person could speak fluent English then I'm sure I wouldn't have a problem.

revell

is there any book of understading Irish jokes, craics and any subtle things for foreigners?

Thank you.

Ickle Magoo

revell wrote: »

is there any book of understading Irish jokes, craics and any subtle things for foreigners?

Thank you.

Google is your friend... :cool:

RacoonQueen

I've dated English guys and one Norweigan. English people love my sense of humour and the viking cottoned on pretty quickly. Some of my best relationships have been with foreign guys. Plus, once they're not from the UK they usually have hot accents.

Scarinae

I don't see why anyone would have a problem with this, unless you couldn't speak the same language at all. Here in London it is quite common for people to date people from different backgrounds - I have an Irish friend with a Dutch boyfriend, a Portuguese friend with a French boyfriend, an Italian friend with a Beninese boyfriend, a Brazilian friend with a Polish boyfriend etc. My boyfriend is a white Kenyan, and I met him in Ireland, so he speaks English (though Swahili is his first language). He gets the Irish sense of humour because he lived there for ten years, so that's not a problem, but there are some cultural differences. I find most of them fascinating though and I love hearing his stories about growing up in Kenya.

WesternNight

Nope, wouldn't have a problem with that at all (aside, obviously, language barriers). All the more to talk about, I'd imagine!

confuseddotcom

Current view would be no way, I'd miss the Irish sarky baxtards and the Ireland sense of humour way too much I think, but I think also, living in the countryside / being a Culchie, am more accustomed to sarcasm being part n' parcel of things. But possibly could look at it totally differently if living abroad for a couple of years.

Have to say though, going by former house-mates etc., it's amazingly impressive how well mixed couples if I may call them that, pick up the adopted tongue so good, so eloquently and precisely, SIMPLY through living with their o.h. and being forced to talk the new language every day.

Rocket19

Hmm, well I went out with an English guy, but he'd lived in Ireland for like 10 years when we met (moved when he was like 8 lol), so I wouldn't really have thought of him as "foreign".
He still had a sexy London accent, so that was cool :P.

As for dating a person who's native language wasn't English, sure I would. I can see though, how problems might arise in such a relationship, even just in terms of understanding each other's little jokes, sharing a sense of humour, etc. However, a good relationship should be a whole lot more than that, and should be able to transcend a slight language barrier!

cdaly_

Lemme see...

One of my sisters married a Dane, another has a Dutch partner, two have English partners and another married a Limerick man (that counts as foreign right?...;)).

I'm a bit of a rebel in my family, I married an Irishwoman...

Eve_Dublin

I come from a pretty multicultural family....I've half Tansanian cousins, half Mexican cousins, loads of American cousins, my bro is married to an Aussie, sisters married to an American and a Greek guy, my other brother went out with a Nigerian woman, so it's no biggie for me. I've been living outside Ireland since 2004, so I'd have to be open to foreign men if I wanted to meet someone. It's down to the person basically.

Previous boyfriends have been from the States and England and had a thing with an Argentinian for a year. My current boyfriend is Spanish and lucky for us, he's got fantastic English. It's been great so far....he's very affectionate and tactile, complimentary and up front, which is different to Irish guys I've gone out with in the past. He has a great sense of humour and we have plenty of laughs together. He's ridiculously clever, which keeps me on my toes and he's interesting and very kind. Same kind of traits you'd find in any good man anywhere in the world and that's all that really matters.

There's definite cultural differences and I'd say the fact that I've been looking supporting and looking after myself since I was 21 and him later is a funny one. I suppose I'd be maturer in some ways because of that but not to the point that it's a problem.

He's very close to his family and it seems his family are not so open to him dating someone foreign and are quite conservative (he's definitely not) and he's trying to butter them up before I meet them, which is the polar opposite to my family. I'm meeting his Aunties next week and I'm ****ting bricks. I find the Spanish attitude to family suffocating...I love my family but we all make our own choices and if my one of us butted into another's personal affairs, there'd be trouble. Seems that's not the case here.

And finally the fact that he'd look after himself more than guys I've seen in the past. He's older than me and swims regularly to not get a belly, which I don't think we care too much about in Ireland. It's not really acceptable here at his age. Seems there's more pressure among men to look good, more pressure than in Ireland.

Al in all though, yay for foreigners!!

seenitall

Good to read things are going well, Eve!

I'm sure you'll be able to charm his folks no prob, relax!

(so many times it's about being able to put a face to the name/the 'title' more than anything else... more traditional folk need a bit more time adjusting to new circs/people)

Siuin

Fishie wrote: »

an Italian friend with a Beninese boyfriend

Had to wikipedia that... never even realised there was such a country as Benin!

I would and I wouldn't. There are many difficulties with regards dating someone from a foreign culture - the different religions and cultures that could potentially hamper any possible relationship.

My brother fell in love with an American while he was living in San Diego, but she is Jewish and her family are very kosher. At the beginning of their relationship, her family wouldn't really accept him but fast forward 3 years and they married and have now been married 4 years this October. The family that somewhat wouldn't accept him now love him like their own.

So it does work, but it mostly did because she wasn't very kosher. Had she been, it may have been a totally different story.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

I would and I wouldn't. There are many difficulties with regards dating someone from a foreign culture - the different religions and cultures that could potentially hamper any possible relationship.

My brother fell in love with an American while he was living in San Diego, but she is Jewish and her family are very kosher. At the beginning of their relationship, her family wouldn't really accept him but fast forward 3 years and they married and have now been married 4 years this October. The family that somewhat wouldn't accept him now love him like their own.

So it does work, but it mostly did because she wasn't very kosher. Had she been, it may have been a totally different story.

My best friend's sister met someone who wasn't jewish; I think the mother was upset at first, but he converted for her and they just married recently.
Even at that, despite the issues the mother seems to have with any of them seeing someone not jewish, I'd say it was also ok in the end because they weren't too orthodox.

Siuin

bluewolf wrote: »

My best friend's sister met someone who wasn't jewish; I think the mother was upset at first, but he converted for her and they just married recently.
Even at that, despite the issues the mother seems to have with any of them seeing someone not jewish, I'd say it was also ok in the end because they weren't too orthodox.

Yeah, as someone who has spent a lot of time in Israel, I would have to say that Jews (strangely enough, more so American Jews) are the least welcoming when it comes to having outsiders enter their family. They see it as 'destroying the chain', especially if they have links with holocaust victims, and there is a great sense of shame and regret when someone marries outside the community. Luckily, I managed to fall in love with a (very rare!!) non-Jewish Israeli man :P My boyfriend's mother had been highly indignant at the prospect of being asked to convert for the sake of marriage, and although her sister had gone through the conversion process for, at the time, her prospective husband (and unfortunately the said husband became even more religious after they married and now spends all his free time in the synagogue while she's house bound without any car or electricity with 3 kids under 5 years old every weekend... *shudder*), she felt that it would compromise her identity to make the switch for someone else, and if they couldn't accept her for who she was, then they could fúck off.

I've got a lot of respect for that lady

RachPie

Yeah, definitely. I date an American and I have several friends who date people from other countries.

Siuin

Siuin wrote: »

Yeah, as someone who has spent a lot of time in Israel, I would have to say that Jews (strangely enough, more so American Jews) are the least welcoming when it comes to having outsiders enter their family. They see it as 'destroying the chain', especially if they have links with holocaust victims, and there is a great sense of shame and regret when someone marries outside the community. Luckily, I managed to fall in love with a (very rare!!) non-Jewish Israeli man :P My boyfriend's mother had been highly indignant at the prospect of being asked to convert for the sake of marriage, and although her sister had gone through the conversion process for, at the time, her prospective husband (and unfortunately the said husband became even more religious after they married and now spends all his free time in the synagogue while she's house bound without any car or electricity with 3 kids under 5 years old every weekend... *shudder*), she felt that it would compromise her identity to make the switch for someone else, and if they couldn't accept her for who she was, then they could fúck off.

I've got a lot of respect for that lady

I'd be kinda the same about converting - I believe what I believe, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise or go through this big massive lie for someone else. Best friend OTOH thinks it's the most romantic thing :pac:
I know about the situation though - another of her sisters did marry a very orthodox person - no electricity on sabbath, a million young kids, can't use even... I think it's a phone, on sabbath, either. etc etc.