How come Irish people don't date like in other countries?

jameshealy19

How come Irish people don't date like in other countries?

Sunnyisland

james healy 19 wrote: »

How come Irish people don't date like in other countries?

You will have to expand on that there question what do you mean

Pompey Magnus

In fact we date in the continental European style which is now the dominant system across the world of dd/mm/yyyy as opposed to the American style of mm/dd/yyyy or the Chinese system of yyyy/mm/dd

wolf moon

jameshealy19 wrote: »

How come Irish people don't date like in other countries?

Probably because of the recession parents of a girl - even if they manage to make a deal with man's family - are unable to pay for him.

Kadongy

jameshealy19 wrote: »

How come Irish people don't date like in other countries?

because it would be like inconvenient. They could just go like somewhere local

MugMugs

Kadongy wrote: »

because it would be like inconvenient. They could just go like somewhere local

Exactly.

Other countries are mainly on Continents so it's handy for them to nip away on a date. All we have is England and a long trip to France.

theteal

because in these hard times, getting a drunken ware and dropping the hand is a lot easier on the finances!




real answer: . . .ehhhh, we do. . .

G86

They do.

Unless they're 14 and just looking for the shift.

minidazzler

I have one friend who tries to insist that the "her friends w/ our friends" works when one wants to get off with a girl. I insist that thinking that makes him an idiot, it's alot easier to talk and in fact get laid if it's one on one, because there is less posturing for friends so all that energy can be saved on being the best you there is. I refuse to do the friends going out thing together anymore because it's just plain sad with lots of awkwardness and juvenile joke.

So yeah, dating does exist here, it's just expensive

AnnyHallsal

Because we're ugly, inhibited pigs.*

No, no. Because romantic Ireland's dead and gone.








*This is a joke

Azureus

The Irish do go on dates like other countries, you're just not invited.

orourkeda

Down with this sort of thing

smash

We do date... It usually consists of a bit of dinner and then getting so drunk you can hardly walk. Possibly followed by some form of fumbling sex, the likes of which you'd see on a gorillas in the mist documentary.

pipelaser

Because the place is so bloody small that you're bound to be seen by acquaintances or neighbours, they'll end up coming to the table for a chat and end up sitting down with you. Even if the ****ers know exactly whats going on!

I'm living in London and happily Internet Dating away, there's no way you could do this in Ireland! You would be seen online by some girl you vaguely know, your mates would find out through the grapevine, they would sign up and gain access to you profile, they would print out a copy and hang it up in the local, you would be ridiculed!:pac:

jonnyfingers

pipelaser wrote: »

I'm living in London and happily Internet Dating away, there's no way you could do this in Ireland! You would be seen online by some girl you vaguely know, your mates would find out through the grapevine, they would sign up and gain access to you profile, they would print out a copy and hang it up in the local, you would be ridiculed!:pac:

I did this exact thing to a friend of mine who was on an internet dating site!

But back on topic, of course the Irish date. We just don't always go to dinner or something like they do in the movies. Personally I went to the cinema, a gig, met for drinks or a coffee with a few of my girlfriends. That's what a date is, getting to know the other person.

One thing I hate is the American style dating where the girl is dating several guys at once and a date is more like a job interview. That's just pathetic.

biko

jameshealy19 wrote: »

How come Irish people don't date like in other countries?

What other countries? You're referring to US?

krissovo

I love the German system, shag like a rabbit with non committal one night stands to release the sexual urges and have "dates" to select your future partner.

funloving

hate the formality of dates and the guy who thinks he has to pay for your dinner/drinks/taxi etc on...

this has nothing to do with romance and it's no indicator of a guy's level of interest in you simply because he's spending money on you...

Down with this (at least for me...)

smash

funloving wrote: »

Down with this (at least for me...)

You go down on the first date?

TheZohanS

funloving wrote: »

hate the formality of dates and the guy who thinks he has to pay for your dinner/drinks/taxi etc on...

this has nothing to do with romance and it's no indicator of a guy's level of interest in you simply because he's spending money on you...

Down with this (at least for me...)

All you have to say is "no, I'm paying for this". Most of the girls I've dated have taken turns with taxis, drinks etc.

Malari

We do, but we don't usually refer to it as "dating". You say your are seeing someone, or going out with someone, etc. Not "dating" someone.

As another poster mentioned, dating in the American sense also seems to imply that you can be meeting several people at once, and here that's not really very common. Once you start seeing someone, exclusivity is generally assumed.

jester77

Bring back the dowry

funloving

TheZohan wrote: »

All you have to say is "no, I'm paying for this". Most of the girls I've dated have taken turns with taxis, drinks etc.

of course I do and I find your answer a bit simplistic...I am just saying this form of conventional dating is not really for me

AllYourBass

smash wrote: »

We do date... It usually consists of a bit of dinner and then getting so drunk you can hardly walk. Possibly followed by some form of fumbling sex, the likes of which you'd see on a gorillas in the mist documentary.

I usually start with the drunken fumble, and then move onto the dinner and drinks as a form of apology.

TheZohanS

funloving wrote: »

of course I do and I find your answer a bit simplistic...I am just saying this form of conventional dating is not really for me

Ah well if it's not for you then it's not for you. My answer might be a bit simplistic but in reality the solution is in fact simple. I think some women tend to over analyse the whole dating process, I've heard conversations of female friends and the thought and effort, and questions that go through their minds regarding a date is immense.

funloving

TheZohan wrote: »

Ah well if it's not for you then it's not for you. My answer might be a bit simplistic but in reality the solution is in fact simple. I think some women tend to over analyse the whole dating process, I've heard conversations of female friends and the thought and effort, and questions that go through their minds regarding a date is immense.

you're right..the thoughts and efforts are immense and too much emphasis is put on it...

Bipolar Joe

Clue us losers in, would ya?

RichieC

Dates... where the woman finds out if you have enough money for her. I rather meet people naturally and more honestly.

py2006

I find the whole dating thing a bit odd and false at times. I don't like the game around it. This is more to do with blind dates, meeting somebody from a dating site etc.

LaVail

orourkeda wrote: »

Down with this sort of thing

Careful now

Gearheart

I met a Hungarian girl and she wanted to "date" i just wanted to "shift" and shift other people lol she didnt seem 2 impressed on this idea lol

Sticjones

Because we are in a good Catholic country and this "dating" filth has no place in the institution of marriage.

The King of Moo

It's probably the lingering hangover of our Catholic repression of anything involving the opposite sex.
Hence some Irish people are unable to relate to their opposite sex in a normal fashion. Not to be unfair, but this does seem to be a little more common with men's attitude towards women, but there's people at fault on both sides.

Hence we have an awkward, often confrontational method of meeting people in pubs and nightclubs in pursuit of sex, as some people are unable to relate to the opposite sex in any other fashion.

Thankfully this seems to be on the way out. There's still a lot of cavepeople out there, and I personally know a few men with a very immature attitude to women, whom they see as frightening, mysterious, pernicious creatures.
But most people nowadays are a long way from the old Irish stereotype, and it's actually fairly common for people to date now.

I've always preferred to meet women in normal situations, like at work, or other everyday situations than in a pub/club, and it's quite common for people to go on dates to the cinema/restaurant than instead of just going to the pub.
It's just not as rigid as the formalised American way of dating.

Celly Smunt

Iranian style all the way!

Frank Black

Because despite the desperate affectations of our young folk, we're not American, that's why!

Celly Smunt

black francis wrote: »

Because despite the desperate affectations of our young folk, we're not American, that's why!

unless you head south of tallaght.

professore

Kazakh style FTW:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftY2p0L8F-Q

impr0v

The King of Moo wrote: »

...and I personally know a few men with a very immature attitude to women, whom they see as frightening, mysterious, pernicious creatures.

Most of the women I know are frightening, mysterious and pernicious creatures.

NothingMan

A lot of my relationships have stemmed from a drunken smooch or at least meeting in a bar and getting a number and going from there. There's nothing wrong with that way of doing things and it's not something I consciously would do.

I think to do something more direct (ie. Sober) is terrifying as you have no idea where you stand when you ask the person out. At least if you have broken the ice with a drunken swirl of the tongues there's maybe a 30% chance they might actaully find you attractive enough to see sober.

When I was a young teenager things were much more innocent and asking someone out while from school was daunting and took over a year to build up the courage to ask a girl out then fumbled my words so much she didn't understand me. It all worked out, she asked me out by email a week later . If only we had texting...

gargleblaster

As an American, I'm baffled by this "American style" of dating that people are referring to. People are all different and prefer different styles of dating/going out/seeing each other.

Also I'm shocked to hear that in Ireland once you go out with someone, it's assumed that you're seeing each other exclusively. After seeing some of the threads in the personal issues and relationship issues forums, I'm curious about that assertion.

NothingMan

gargleblaster wrote: »

Also I'm shocked to hear that in Ireland once you go out with someone, it's assumed that you're seeing each other exclusively. After seeing some of the threads in the personal issues and relationship issues forums, I'm curious about that assertion.

it's not necessarily assumed as such and I know plenty of people who have dated a couple of guys for a few dates to see how they panned out. But once you're in a situation where you're seeing someone regularly and are kissing etc... you kind of expect (maybe hope is better) that you're not swapping fluids with a second suitor too.

The King of Moo

Hhm, there was I thinking we'd move beyond our old-fashioned gender divide in this country, until I realised that I'm reading Fever Pitch (about football) and the girl beside me on the bus is reading How to Be a Woman(about being a woman).

Maybe we are completely unable to relate to each other after all! :pac:

k4kate

The King of Moo wrote: »

Hhm, there was I thinking we'd move beyond our old-fashioned gender divide in this country, until I realised that I'm reading Fever Pitch (about football) and the girl beside me on the bus is reading How to Be a Woman(about being a woman).

Maybe we are completely unable to relate to each other after all! :pac:

If "she" needs to read a book on "how" to be a woman, maybe it is someone in the process of hormone treatment for a sex change.
How would you find out?

1. Feel for gonads
2. Ask he/she to explain offside
3. Jesus, can't think of a 3rd, alcohol killin me brain cells

Orando Broom

I jump off really high walls, and climb trees and shout down the other men. Also I run really fast around the football field but only when she's watching. Then I fück her brains out. And marriage.

Orando Broom

k4kate wrote: »

If "she" needs to read a book on "how" to be a woman, maybe it is someone in the process of hormone treatment for a sex change.
How would you find out?

1. Feel for gonads
2. Ask he/she to explain offside
3. Jesus, can't think of a 3rd, alcohol killin me brain cells

**** in a Ricky Bobby quote and if she laughs like a drain, BINGO! You've met your first shemale.

gargleblaster

NothingMan wrote: »

it's not necessarily assumed as such and I know plenty of people who have dated a couple of guys for a few dates to see how they panned out. But once you're in a situation where you're seeing someone regularly and are kissing etc... you kind of expect (maybe hope is better) that you're not swapping fluids with a second suitor too.

Yeah see again, this only makes me wonder more, as I've read plenty of comments about kissing strangers in clubs. I suspect that, just like here in America, there's probably a wide variety of styles and expectations.

The King of Moo

k4kate wrote: »

If "she" needs to read a book on "how" to be a woman, maybe it is someone in the process of hormone treatment for a sex change.
How would you find out?

1. Feel for gonads
2. Ask he/she to explain offside
3. Jesus, can't think of a 3rd, alcohol killin me brain cells

I prodded her roughly on the shoulder and said "Here love, are ya readin' that book cos ya want to become a bird or just a better bird? Ya look like a fine filly ta me."

She got up just as I was lunging to perform a genital test for some reason.

Out of curiosity I just googled the book, and I remember reading a review about it being a poorly-written pseudo-feminist book comprised of sweeping generalisations and contradictions.

Here's a quote from an Amazon review:

think I am as liberal as they come). Eventually I acquiesced and started reading with few expectations (I had never heard of Caitlin Moran before I picked this up). I thought the prologue was great. It was genuinely funny (even made me laugh out loud a couple of times which almost never happens), well written, and engaging. The next few chapters were just good, though I felt like it could have done with some ruthless editing of the bits that weren't quite so funny or poignant to make it great. But towards the middle of the book things started to go downhill, pretty steeply.

One of the problems with the book is that the author talks as if everything is black or white, gloriously righteous or disgustingly evil. In the beginning when she is talking about obvious things (woman should have the same opportunities as men, etc..) this is fine. It's when she gets into more debatable arguments (strip clubs= evil, burlesque shows + pole dancing lessons= fantastic), even about things that I agree on (e.g. pro-choice, aethiesm) that this starts to grate. She treats the idea that any opinion other than her own could have any validity with contempt and doesn't really put forward any cogent arguments for her reasoning (but basically devolves into semi-coherent rants over and over again- and this is coming from someone who actually agrees with the broad points she is making!!).

She talks in sweeping generalizations and sometimes contradicts herself. More and more so as it goes on the book reads as if it has been written in a rush and never re-read or edited. When I started reading I was actually thinking the author is someone I would love to have round for dinner to have a conversation with, by the end of the book that idea seems more like an opportunity I'd run a mile from because I envision she would not let anyone else get a word in edgeways, shout down any opposing opinions and to be honest, I'm not sure she's actually a very nice person.

Something I also came to realize through the course of the book is although I think MOST of her opinions are right, it comes across as if she doesn't think they are right because she's sat down and tried to think things through objectively. It's because things have pissed her off or got in her way and so she has come up with arguments (and not necessarily well thought out ones) to justify the way she already feels.

I have to lecture this girl and explain to her why she's giving a poor impression of Irish women to some Irish men.

k4kate

The King of Moo wrote: »

I prodded her roughly on the shoulder and said "Here love, are ya readin' that book cos ya want to become a bird or just a better bird? Ya look like a fine filly ta me."

She got up just as I was lunging to perform a genital test for some reason.

Out of curiosity I just googled the book, and I remember reading a review about it being a poorly-written pseudo-feminist book comprised of sweeping generalisations and contradictions.

Here's a quote from an Amazon review:



I have to lecture this girl and explain to her why she's giving a poor impression of Irish women to some Irish men.

That quote from Amazon: I read about 5 sentences then fell asleep.

What kinda ****e are women reading?

The King of Moo

k4kate wrote: »

That quote from Amazon: I read about 5 sentences then fell asleep.

What kinda ****e are women reading?

Hopefully not that many are reading it.

I seem to remember it being panned as shallow and simplistic when it was released, though it has got quite a few 5-star reviews on Amazon.

k4kate

The King of Moo wrote: »

Hopefully not that many are reading it.

I seem to remember it being panned as shallow and simplistic when it was released, though it has got quite a few 5-star reviews on Amazon.

Difference between the sexes, do you know any man who would buy a book on being a man?

The King of Moo

k4kate wrote: »

Difference between the sexes, do you know any man who would buy a book on being a man?

Hhm, that's a good question.

I can't think of any man I know who's done such a thing.
Nor do I even know of such a book.

Though maybe "lads' mags" like Maxim and FHM would be a male equivalent.

They do seem to reflect changes in common conceptions of masculinity (from "drink beer and watch football, here's some tits!" to "drink beer and watch football and use moisturiser, here's some tits!"

Though maybe they reflect changes that happen organically, rather than guide them.