Do you keep stuff from previous relationships?

Danniboo

Hey girlies,

Just been thinking the past few days about this. I'm one of those people that keeps picture, old cards, letters, concert tickets (a saddo in other words:D) in a box. There's obviously some bits and bobs in there from ex bfs and i'm just wondering if you keep stuff from exes or do you think everything should be thrown out with the bath water as they say? I've absolutely no romantic feelings for any of these guys. They're just memories and positive ones I guess.

g'em

yup, I have a box of mementos that gets taken out once in a blue moon and I get all wistful and nostalgic over the contents, it's fun Movie tickets, postcards from holidays, notes and letters, silly stuff that means nothing to anyone else and everything to me. But the rule is that stuff only gets kept and (more importantly) looked at after a substantial enough length of time that guarantees that I'm over that person. Keeping stuff that reminds you of an ex when you still long for them is a recipe for heartache and peanut-butter-straight-from-the-jar depression :pac:

Princess Peach

I don't keep anything of sentimental value, but I wouldn't throw away nice things that I like. I have DVDs and jewelry and teddies that were gifts but I keep them because I like them, not because they mean anything to me.

When I'm with a guy I do keep mementos like letters and photos and ticket stubs, but I throw them out when I'm over the ex.

I have held onto a few longer than I should have though :P

Saaron

Don't really have much from past relationships. I kept an old letter by mistake but ripped it up after my Boyfriend found it. I have a few small items that are fit for the bin.
The only thing I have kept safe was a Lord of The Rings necklace; The Evenstar that my first boyfriend bought me. I have no emotional attachment to it other than I love LOTR and think it looks nice.

I also have a few concert tickets that we went to together as well but I collect those anyway.

Since I've been with my current Boyfriend I don't care to keep things from the past (Not that I have many) because it would make me upset if he kept things from his ex so I don't want to upset him either. This is my first long relationship though and we live together so I'm sure I'd have many sentimental items left here if the worst happens with us.
Hope that doesn't happen though

Danniboo

Hmmm it's a difficult one like if I though for a sec it upset my bf i'd throw them out, but I like keeping momentos like that from all my family/friends not just bfs. I mean I don't specifically have a thing about keeping things from exes or anything that would be weird

itac

Letters & cards, which I appear to store in the most random of places (books/cd shelves/wardrobes!) mostly. Have a two little teddies from two separate exes, but both just remind me of good times.

I like to keep the letters & cards because they're not as common as they used to be....have one gigantic batch from the man who was the love of my life....it's funny to read back over them and see the progression of the relationship from beginning to end, and I think there'll always be a little part of my heart attached to him.
Also have a very sweet letter from my first "serious" boyfriend when I was 15 that he sent to Germany where I was on a two week student exchange trip-we'd broken up just before I left, and he got the address off a friend & wrote a long letter telling me how much he loved me. I can still remember crying outside on some German strasse reading it. Think we lasted for about two months after I got home, (which was long-term then!!) but when I read the letter now, it just reminds me of teenage hope, happiness and love....good times.... : )

eirn

I've kept a couple of cards and letters from my first serious boyfriend, they're in a box on a high shelf with a load of other cards, photo's etc., forgot all about them untill recently. As soon as I came across them I was completely swept back to that time in my life, even though it was a bad break up, (I was devasted at the time, thought I'd never get over it:D) now I just have lovely memories of him and our time together, being young and in love.

I did plan on keeping a really expensive necklace a guy gave me, but I managed to loose it, someone trying to tell me something!

kingtut

Nope, all my exs (except one) dumped me or treated like **** so anything they gave me or touched I usually burn! :mad:

Wolflikeme

Nope. Nothing. Except as Princess Peach said: if I'd got a gift I like - DVD set, camera etc I'd of course keep it. Everything else goes - photos even.

I just don't see the point. Any nice memories I can recall in my head if I so wish.

Besides, I've too much stuff as it is!

ash23

i have some cards and stuff from my teen romances but not much. My only long term relationship ended really badly. When we split I was heartbroken and put all the letters, cards etc into a box and put them away because i just couldn't deal with them at the time. I came across them a year or so later and while reading them couldn't really attach them to happy times. All I could think was 'LIES' so I binned the lot.
Except the expensive watch. I kept that.

Acoshla

I've kept things from my first proper boyfriend, like a poster for his band dated the night we met (met him at one of his gigs), all sorts of random crap that would look like nothing to anyone else! I also have stuff from a f*ckbuddy/relationship, I have a broken chunk of tile, a fag box! Ha, so random. However I have thrown out almost every single item of anything I had from my last ex, such is my hatred of him. I'd bleach my brain of the memories if I could. I even threw out clothes he had touched/bought me, ugh, such a waste of good clothes!

Novella

I have a box of things I've kept that remind me of my first boyfriend, and gifts he gave to me - necklaces and a teddy etc. I guess he was quite significant in my life. He treated me well, we grew up a lot together and I'll always happily look back on the time we spent together.

I don't really have anything from the other guys I've dated though. Either things ended horribly and I didn't want to be reminded or, frankly, I didn't care enough to hang on.

Will

Usually get rid of everything that reminds me of them no matter how it ended. Find it too difficult. Most are assigned songs though, not by choice, just the way my brain works.

The Big Red Button

I have a box which contains pretty much all the letters/cards I've ever received from anyone, at least from my teenage years on, so there are a good few things there from my exes ... well, from two of them in particular!

Both relationships ended on good terms (though we're not really in touch any more), and they were both really good guys. And I was a teenager, so it's sort of funny to read back and see what I/we were like back then.

I've never been in a relationship that ended badly. But even if I was, I don't think I'd go throwing out all the mementos. I mean, even if I got rid of the physical evidence, it wouldn't change my own memories. And, I dunno, even if the person turned out to be a b****x, I think it's good to remember the good bits too.

Shortly after my boyfriend and I started going out (over six years ago!), I was showing him a photo album of different nights out etc ... and at the end of it, there were a few "coupley" photos of me and my ex, who my boyfriend had met. The two of them didn't get on. Boyfriend wasn't a bit impressed that I still had these photos, and asked me to get rid of them. I told him to stop being a d*ck! My past is what it is, if I wanted to get rid of those photos for myself and for my own reasons - fine. But I was well over that guy, and as far as I was concerned, if my boyfriend had a problem, it was his own insecurities or whatever. It's not like I ever have looked at those photos since, or ever will again, most likely! Still though, it's part of my past ... I don't know, hard to explain, it's just nice to sort of keep some things on record!

Scarinae

If I went through my chest of drawers at home, I'd probably find all sorts of stuff, I am really bad at throwing anything away. I'd say that there are probably letters, postcards, concert tickets, that sort of thing from various relationships that I had when I was younger. I even had a secret alphabet with one of my exes, we used to write each other letters in code I only have one ex that I really really dislike, I was with him when I was 16, I shredded anything to do with him and threw away presents he'd given me.

SarahMs

i keep everything. and anything..... to prove so i took a pic of my memory drawer.... don't remember why i have half the crap i do....... but at sometime it was important to me

Asphyxia

I have a box filled with things from my current relationship Movie/concert tickets, labels, beer mats from places we've been, soap from hotels TONS of things I love keeping a little memory box. I don't have anything from past relationships except rosary beads given to me, I kept them as we stayed friends after the breakup and they are now past away so it's nice.

I guess for me it depends on the breakup I got rid of everything I had from one relationship after it ended in tears it really helps not to see the reminders. I did however give my exes mother any pictures I had, I have a funny thing about throwing away pictures there's always someone who might want them After myself and my boyfriend had moved out his mother brought over a bag of stuff he owned from the attic. It was bits and pieces owned by his ex, he didn't want any of it and threw out most of it but I wouldn't let him throw out the pictures as they seemed important so he asked her did she want them back and she was happy to receive them.

For me it depends on lots of things, if these people have a big impact on my life and I'm not still feeling for them in that way then it's nice to keep things especially if you create a friendship afterwards.

Danniboo

SarahMs wrote: »

i keep everything. and anything..... to prove so i took a pic of my memory drawer.... don't remember why i have half the crap i do....... but at sometime it was important to me

Lol you could be keeping your ex himself in there

I don't really keep it so much as not getting around to throwing a lot of it out
I have old photos floating around somewhere, and letters, but I don't look back over them at all. I don't tend to keep tickets or little things like that. I do keep gifts because I like them for their own sake. An ex once sent back some gifts I gave him... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

ash23

bluewolf wrote: »

An ex once sent back some gifts I gave him... :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Ugh, my ex did that. About 6 months after we split he dropped back a bag of my daughters stuff and in it were letters I had written him at the start of our relationship. As if I'd want them. I think he just liked to open up the wounds every now and then. Bastard.

Danniboo

ash23 wrote: »

Ugh, my ex did that. About 6 months after we split he dropped back a bag of my daughters stuff and in it were letters I had written him at the start of our relationship. As if I'd want them. I think he just liked to open up the wounds every now and then. Bastard.

I bought my ex a voucher for a driving experience thing and came across it one day in my house, so I posted it to him. Just stuck a little note with it saying enjoy it, it was bought for you etc, everyone said i'm a gobs***e

winterlight

No no no!

My partner is crap at throwing things out and early in our relationship I found ex-girlfriend stuff in his house that really, really upset me! They're long gone now, but even now, the memory of them makes me feel slightly sick...I'm not talking about watches or dvds by the way, just really personal relationship 'mementos'

I think GET RID! Your memories should be enough surely! Why would you NEED to hang on to that stuff if you are happy in your current relationship.

My advice to anyone who is sad enough to want to keep photos, letters etc is to put them in a large envelope, seal it well, and write BILLS on it. Nobody else should have to put up with finding that stuff...yuck...

Acoshla

One ex of mine asked for everything back when we broke up, including a tiny mini skirt and some bellybutton bars he bought me He made me so mad asking for my beloved skirt back that I hit him where it hurt - his weight issue - by saying no way was he getting it because he didn't have the thighs for it. Got to keep my skirt

Malari

Nothing except some photos and a diamond. :cool: I'm not that sentimental except for stuff my current boyfriend has given me :pac:

Asphyxia

I don't understand why people want there gifts back! I never had an ex who did but my sister recently got out of a 6 year relationship and her bitter ex asked her for the stuff he'd given her for Christmas and her birthday :mad: The irritating thing was the gifts were things she really needed for college and work like her laptop and car! She ended up giving him back the laptop and is considering given back the car so he wont have a hold on her anymore, it's really pathetic in a way.

Asphyxia

Asphyxia wrote: »

I don't understand why people want there gifts back! I never had an ex who did but my sister recently got out of a 6 year relationship and her bitter ex asked her for the stuff he'd given her for Christmas and her birthday :mad: The irritating thing was the gifts were things she really needed for college and work like her laptop and car! She ended up giving him back the laptop and is considering given back the car so he wont have a hold on her anymore, it's really pathetic in a way.

She should tell him to fcuk off

daenerysstormborn3

I don't intentionally keep things from my exes. I have a few bits of jewellery that I think it would be a shame to throw out but I don't wear it because I think it would be unfair on my current boyfriend.

Acoshla

pixiebean22 wrote: »

I don't intentionally keep things from my exes. I have a few bits of jewellery that I think it would be a shame to throw out but I don't wear it because I think it would be unfair on my current boyfriend.

How would it be unfair, if it's just a pretty piece of jewellery? I would have a few bits and pieces of jewellery given to me over the years, I wouldn't not wear it just to spare my boyfriend's feelings, it'd be weirder if I kept them and never wore them, he totally gets that if I love it for how it looks I'm gonna wear it no matter where it came from.

daenerysstormborn3

Acoshla wrote: »

How would it be unfair, if it's just a pretty piece of jewellery? I would have a few bits and pieces of jewellery given to me over the years, I wouldn't not wear it just to spare my boyfriend's feelings, it'd be weirder if I kept them and never wore them, he totally gets that if I love it for how it looks I'm gonna wear it no matter where it came from.

I just wouldn't like to have the "who got you that?" "my ex" conversation. Plus, none of the jewellery my exes bought me is particularly nice so I wouldn't really wear it anyway.

Maple

If it was a gift, then I keep it. I don't keep cards or ticket stubs or anything like that, but I wouldn't keep them while I'm in the relationship anyway. I keep photos of course but my memories are kept in my head.

I do however have a big black bag of teddy bears from my first boyfriend that are sitting in the attic at home. I'm not a teddy bear person now but I was younger then, giving teddy bears was pretty much de rigueur.

daenerysstormborn3

Maple wrote: »

If it was a gift, then I keep it. I don't keep cards or ticket stubs or anything like that, but I wouldn't keep them while I'm in the relationship anyway. I keep photos of course but my memories are kept in my head.

I do however have a big black bag of teddy bears from my first boyfriend that are sitting in the attic at home. I'm not a teddy bear person now but I was younger then, giving teddy bears was pretty much de rigueur.

I had a big black bag full of teddy bears from exes in the garage and kept meaning to put them out for the binman when one day the dog got at them and decided he liked to cuddle with them so now they have a new use.

ash23

Actually that just reminded me that i have a giant stuffed bear and a huuuuuge stuffed horse that my ex got me. They're in the garage somewhere. My daughter adopted them so I can't bin them.

G86

Sure I do, and there's no harm in it. I've never really understood the whole 'throw everything away' concept. It doesn't mean you're not over it, and it doesn't mean you're clinging on to anything; it means it's a part of your life that you're happy to remember. Which, IMO, is alot more healthy than sitting burning cards and photos with a matchstick bonfire and a voodoo doll........

Bubs99

Im a seriously sentimental person, like most of you, I keep cards from all friends, family and my current long term boyfriend, concert tickets, holiday plane tickets, brochures, I litterally have thousands of photos and loads of albums.

I use to write diaries when I was a teen when times were tough but I threw them out a few years ago to start a fresh new life but I honestly think if I kept them and edited them in to a book, Id be able to publish it. With my life story, i think it'd be a best seller. LOL!

But, I have thrown out all former boyfriend love letters, teddies, t-shirts etc, except a gold chain from an ex, simply because it's gold!

I do plan to make a big scrap book or a few of all the good and fun times in my life, holidays, concerts, parties and my boyfriend and I. I have collected loads to put in the scrapbooks, beautiful paper etc. So, Im looking forward to that.

Abi

Nope, I don't keep anything. I chuck out anything I can find, it's my way of closing a chapter, and I don't think I'd have a clear head until any reminders were gone. After I ended things with my ex, he demanded material things off me. I don't give a shit, because he was just being petty and using every excuse he could to talk to me. All cards etc that I could find, gone.

boomtown123

I've only been in one relationship and that lasted a week in secondary school. So I haven't had the chance of keeping anything!

evilmonkee

I keep gifts, teddy's, jewelry, trinkets etc.

I have some cards and things in my parents house from when I lived there, the next time I visit I must remember to throw them out. Not because they remind me of bad times, or good times or in case my partner comes across them.

They no longer hold any meaning to me, I've grown and changed in the years since I was given them. I'm a different person now than I was when they were given to me. In my mind they might as well have been given to someone else.

Morag

Do kids count? :pac:

Giselle

Abi wrote: »

Nope, I don't keep anything. I chuck out anything I can find, it's my way of closing a chapter, and I don't think I'd have a clear head until any reminders were gone

Same. If I had any regrets or lingering feelings, good or bad, reminders would have made them hurt.

Babybuff

don't think so. I did have a large fluffy penguin that I got someone as a Christmas present but never made it to Christmas so it sat in my wardrobe for a year but then I started seeing someone else and she saw it and wanted it :pac: She used drive around with it buckled up in the back of her car, was kinda funny. Penguins, the gift that keeps on giving.

_petulia_

Danniboo wrote: »

Hey girlies,

Just been thinking the past few days about this. I'm one of those people that keeps picture, old cards, letters, concert tickets (a saddo in other words:D) in a box. There's obviously some bits and bobs in there from ex bfs and i'm just wondering if you keep stuff from exes or do you think everything should be thrown out with the bath water as they say? I've absolutely no romantic feelings for any of these guys. They're just memories and positive ones I guess.

I keep birthday cards and stuff from family (if you mean bits and pieces in general).

And I think it's great if some people can manage to hold onto things from previous relationships without feeling any pain/regret when they look over them but personally I throw those sort of things out when a relationship ends.

coco_lola

I keep cards. I just love them. I'm big into scrap booking, and keeping cards helps me to scrapbook that time in my life

If it ended on bad terms though, Bang, everything into the bin. Thankfully, that's never happened yet.

Neyite

I've kept gifts - jewellery, teddies etc, but never cards or ticket stubs. I think I've a photo or two knocking around of an ex or two. I'm not sentimental about that stuff though.

I have all the cards I got from my partner, though. That gives me the warm fuzzies.

The Big Red Button

chatterpillar wrote: »

I have a box which contains pretty much all the letters/cards I've ever received from anyone, at least from my teenage years on, so there are a good few things there from my exes ... well, from two of them in particular!

Both relationships ended on good terms (though we're not really in touch any more), and they were both really good guys. And I was a teenager, so it's sort of funny to read back and see what I/we were like back then.

I've never been in a relationship that ended badly. But even if I was, I don't think I'd go throwing out all the mementos. I mean, even if I got rid of the physical evidence, it wouldn't change my own memories. And, I dunno, even if the person turned out to be a b****x, I think it's good to remember the good bits too.

Shortly after my boyfriend and I started going out (over six years ago!), I was showing him a photo album of different nights out etc ... and at the end of it, there were a few "coupley" photos of me and my ex, who my boyfriend had met. The two of them didn't get on. Boyfriend wasn't a bit impressed that I still had these photos, and asked me to get rid of them. I told him to stop being a d*ck! My past is what it is, if I wanted to get rid of those photos for myself and for my own reasons - fine. But I was well over that guy, and as far as I was concerned, if my boyfriend had a problem, it was his own insecurities or whatever. It's not like I ever have looked at those photos since, or ever will again, most likely! Still though, it's part of my past ... I don't know, hard to explain, it's just nice to sort of keep some things on record!

Lol, how things have changed since I posted this!

The "boyfriend" above is now an ex. And I still probably have absolutely everything from the relationship (including the engagement ring!), simply because it's all in boxes in my parents' house back home. I've never looked at it since we broke up, just never felt the inclination to do so ... I guess, at some stage, I'll go through it all and dump the majority of the sentimental stuff, might hold on to a few bits and pieces though.

As far as I'm concerned, he's been one of the biggest parts of my life so far, he's helped make me who I am, he's a really great guy, and the majority of my memories from the relationship (particularly the earlier years) are positive.

A few cards sitting in a box somewhere don't mean that I'm not over the guy. Similar to what I was saying in the post above, a few years from now, I'll probably read back on those cards I got from him and smile at how innocent and cute we were! I mean, God, we got engaged at 22 ... even now (only four years later) I cannot believe how naive and immature we were ... we had no doubts at the time though, and even though I know it was stupid, I'll never regret it, despite how it's all turned out.

Gevie Stee

Would you get jealous if a current bf was still wearing jewellery from an ex?

Sorry if this is a little off topic??

grey_so_what

I'd be more upset at the fact he was wearing it in the first place!...

Seriously though, no way would I like it....I'd keep thinking it was his reminder of her...

Gevie Stee

grey_so_what wrote: »

I'd be more upset at the fact he was wearing it in the first place!...

Seriously though, no way would I like it....I'd keep thinking it was his reminder of her...

What if he just liked the piece of jewellery and said there was nothing more to it.

grey_so_what

I'd find a way for him to "accidentally" lose it........:)

Gevie Stee

I actually wear a piece of jewellery from an ex bf, we're broken up years now but I just like it, it was expensive and I don't see why I should stop wearing it just because we're broken up. My current bf doesn't like it and was just wondering what other peoples opinions were

Malari

Gevie Stee wrote: »

I actually wear a piece of jewellery from an ex bf, we're broken up years now but I just like it, it was expensive and I don't see why I should stop wearing it just because we're broken up. My current bf doesn't like it and was just wondering what other peoples opinions were

Same thing happened with me, in the early months of my current relationship. Well, my boyfriend didn't say he didn't like this necklace as such. Just knew who it came from and reminded him all the time. He gave me a pressie of a different necklace and I started to wear that instead. You'd swear it was an owner's collar :rolleyes: I still have the old necklace, which I love, but can't really start to wear it again can I? :pac: This is 6 years ago!

grey_so_what

I think it depends why he doesn't like it - If it is for the reason that he thinks you wear because of the ex then you need to chat about it to him - But if he just doesn't like it because of taste then that's just his problem!