You wake up tomorrow in the middle ages. What do you do?

Nephinbeg

"It was around the year 1421 that an anthropomorphic figure began to feature prominently in Italian frescoes. One famous depiction of this mysterious figure, credited by michelangelo as 'pedobear', on the sistine chapel lead to it becoming a staple of church ceilings the world over. Its sudden appearance still baffles art historians"

lil'bug

be named firestarter and be burned at the stake for having a cigereatte lighter

Elliemental

I did my degree in Medieval studies, back in 2001. However, even armed with years of study about this era, I would probably be stumped if I woke up in medieval England/Ireland. For one, if you found yourself suddenly transported back there, the world was totally different. It wasn't safe to walk the streets alone.
Outlaws roamed the forests, so you couldn't seek safety there. Your best bet would be the local monastery, were you could claim sanctuary. But, then you have to get past the language. In Ireland, they would have spoken Gaelic. In England, it depended on what class of person you find yourself speaking to. The nobility spoke Norman French. The lower classes, English (but not the English we speak today). BTW, Shakespeare is not "old English", that was a different language altogether. The Clerical class spoke Latin.
As a woman, I'd either be raped and burned, or just burned on the spot :P

galwayrush

Middle ages, Ireland in 20 years time after the IMF?

Capt'n Midnight

sort out clean water and hand washing as a public health issue

invent a microscope / agar plates / microbiology to show these things

pastuerisation and fizzy drinks

refrigeration would be tricky , but think how much I could charge for a cold cold pint

Needler

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

sort out clean water and hand washing as a public health issue

invent a microscope / agar plates / microbiology to show these things

pastuerisation and fizzy drinks

refrigeration would be tricky , but think how much I could charge for a cold cold pint

What about the carbon tax? would you try and get one of those brought in and warn people about the dangers of burning too much coal and oil?

amacca

Needler wrote: »

What about the carbon tax? would you try and get one of those brought in and warn people about the dangers of burning too much coal and oil?

+1

and make a head start on a cycle to work scheme

and stricter rules for commercial vehicles - obviously after you had invented the internal combustion engine and devised a classification system for vehicles

Capt'n Midnight

Needler wrote: »

What about the carbon tax? would you try and get one of those brought in and warn people about the dangers of burning too much coal and oil?

It would probably be something like one shilling liable to be paid for every firehearth or stove, in all dwellings, houses, edifices or lodgings,and payable at Michaelmas, 29 September and on Lady Day, 25 March.

In other words it was already being done, abolished here in 1795.

kincsem

Be mini-me Nostradamus. Get hired by the local king / Fianna Fail party / tyrant, and predict things.

mikemac

A lot of those posting on the thread won't get a chance, I've read your atheist posts and you would have burned at the stake if you repeated it

amacca

kincsem wrote: »

Be mini-me Nostradamus. Get hired by the local king / Fianna Fail party / tyrant, and predict things.

playing with fire...literally:D

kincsem

You would be a brilliant storyteller. Stuff about America, China, Japan, Russia, Antartica, motor vehicles, aircraft, wars, computers, printing, books.

You would blow their minds.

amacca

kincsem wrote: »

You would be a brilliant storyteller. Stuff about America, China, Japan, Russia, Antartica, motor vehicles, aircraft, wars, computers, printing, books.

You would blow their minds.

burn heretic!

Nephinbeg

If you kept your head down and didn't die of a rotten tooth or some other deadly minor ailment, you could hope to pick up some work in one of the many growth industries. They were always lookin for more fullers, treadmill operators or leech collectors.

Liam Byrne

I'm confused

Tomorrow = future
Middle Ages = past

So if you wake up in the MA then it's not "tomorrow"

Liam Byrne

kincsem wrote: »

Be mini-me Nostradamus. Get hired by the local king / Fianna Fail party / tyrant, and predict things.

....and get told to commit suicide!

mackg

Liam Byrne wrote: »

I'm confused

Tomorrow = future
Middle Ages = past

So if you wake up in the MA then it's not "tomorrow"

mind=blown

fearcruach

Liam Byrne wrote: »

I'm confused

Tomorrow = future
Middle Ages = past

So if you wake up in the MA then it's not "tomorrow"

I'm imagining it's meant in a time travel way. Tomorrow I buy a DeLorean and travel back in time to the Middle Ages. Or else I get myself and my car sucked through an interdimensional portal, in which case I better hope I have a chainsaw and a shotgun.

blaze1

sounds good at first...

no internet, no pron........

I'd practise my painting skills and start a painted version of Razzle

Mr. Presentable

Deleted User wrote: »

Yeah invent indoor plumbing. Also find the nearest river mill, some copper and bam you have electricity.

What Middle Ages are you folks talking about? The Roman Empire had toilets and indoor plumbing ffs.

Wibbs

As did the Minoans centuries before Rome. They even had sinks with hot(volcanic) and cold running water.

amacca

blaze1 wrote: »

sounds good at first...

no internet, no pron........

I'd practise my painting skills and start a painted version of Razzle

you could do some vajazzles for the wenches on the side Larrius Maxximus Flyntus

Panthro

If I woke up in the middle ages, I'd saddle up a horse.

Liam Byrne

fearcruach wrote: »

Liam Byrne wrote: »

I'm confused

Tomorrow = future
Middle Ages = past

So if you wake up in the MA then it's not "tomorrow"

I'm imagining it's meant in a time travel way. Tomorrow I buy a DeLorean and travel back in time to the Middle Ages. Or else I get myself and my car sucked through an interdimensional portal, in which case I better hope I have a chainsaw and a shotgun.

I know that it's meant in a time travel way!

But you haven't time to buy the DeLorean because the OP said you wake up in the Middle Ages.

Which means that you don't wake up tomorrow - you never reach it.

Skerries

i'd invent the cocktail umbrella

opinion guy

I'd invent post it notes. The guy who invented them made millions!:)

Nephinbeg

You could make a paper airplane, they'd be soiling their codpieces

Capt'n Midnight

some practical advice :pac:
http://images.fastcompany.com/upload/urchin-1000.jpg

tan11ie

Cry for my Ghd!

Jesus Wept

Stomp cunts with me boots.

Capt'n Midnight

Hang us this in your time machine - or at least memorise it in case you ever need it

http://i.imgur.com/lt40H.jpg

LuckyLloyd

I think you'd be a very long odds shot to avoid being killed in some summary manner within your first couple of weeks.

Jumpy

Mr. Presentable wrote: »

What Middle Ages are you folks talking about? The Roman Empire had toilets and indoor plumbing ffs.

*sucks teeth* looks like your aqueduct is on the fritz luv. Its gonna be pretty expensive. Go get me amphora of wine will ya luv.

*adjusts toga crack*

starlit

I would stay in my castle/dorm and wait for my prince or just enjoy the outdoors and travel by horses etc (I have a horse outside!)! Other than that enjoy the parties and fine wine!

Stinicker

Gather three ships and sail west, find a new land and setup New Ireland, It would be Barack O'Bama today for sure then.