Whats the biggest faux pas you've ever made?

mathie

So sitting down with the missus the other night and flicking through the channels we come across a reality show.

It shows a close-up of a womans face.
I start ranting ....
"What's she done to herself? Plastic surgery gone mad I tell you! Look at those lips. She's just taken it way too far!"

"She's a burns victim" says the missus.

So whats the biggest faux pas you've ever made?

Wolfe Tone

Used the word retard in the presence of someone who is;

Handicapped themselves,

and another time,

Has a close relation who is.


Gotta love them dirty looks!

jcrowbar

I used to work as a pool lifeguard.

Told a woman one day that it wasn't a good idea for her to be diving into the pool while she way pregnant.

Needless to say she wasn't pregnant at all!

Lando Griffin

Spotted a program last night when going through the channel guide called Extreme Coupling.
Sat down a 10 o clock to watch couples getting it on with other couples expecting loads of boobies and the like and it turned out to be Extreme Couponing, where these ones were going round collecting coupons for everything.:mad:

paddy0090

Asked a friend about his Surprise 21st party, then 2 years later asked his parents about their Surprise Wedding Anniversary party. They don't send me invites anymore. I'm told they don't do Surprise parties either

sensibleken

I used the fish knife to stab a racist

NothingMan

Making the oh so witty retort of "Your Ma" to a friend who's Mother had passed only a few months before relatively suddenly. Colour drained from my face as soon as the words left my mouth. Another friend did it agian recently. Really have to get more into the "so's your face" train of thought.

Fukuyama

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Crap.

neil_hosey

telling an epileptic: "what do ye call a epileptic in a wheel chair?.... a transformer!! weh weh..." . that was awkward when i found out.

slavetothegrind

Dean0088 wrote: »

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Crap.

you can't not tell us what you wrote now!!!!:p

Twin-go

Couple of years ago strolling down the street with a few mate. Noticed a guy in an electric wheel chair struggling to get up the small curb onto the footpath.

Asked him did he need some help? Then proceededto tell him to go back a bit and take a "run" at it. He said " I wish I could!"

I was

Sinfonia

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Spotted a program last night when going through the channel guide called Extreme Coupling.
Sat down a 10 o clock to watch couples getting it on with other couples expecting loads of boobies and the like and it turned out to be Extreme Couponing, where these ones were going round collecting coupons for everything.:mad:

Is that a faux pas??

A guy I used to work with had a great one:

He was at a festival, and a stranger came up behind him and put a hat on his head while saying "Want this hat?" He turned around, saying in a chirpy tone "Aw sh*t yeah, n*ggaaa!", only to discover that the stranger who had adorned him with the hat was in fact a black woman.
He, and everyone else around, just stood there frozen, many mouths agape, him with his arms still in a shrugging position, for what was probably about 4 seconds but must have felt like an eternity. Apparently she just laughed, and the good times resumed.
I always imagine a record screeching to a stop, and then continuing at the point where she laughs..

Fukuyama

slavetothegrind wrote: »

you can't not tell us what you wrote now!!!!:p

T'was making reference to the forthcoming 'events' of a free gaff for a few weeks this summer:(

I'm praying to fcuk that she doesn't look at her phone. She's out at the minute getting the messages so here's hoping...

cml387

I used to run a major Irish bank.
Instead of betting all the money we had on deposit on a horse race in Doncaster,I went with the flow and invested it in property instead.
Well my face is pretty red now!

slavetothegrind

better get that phone off her sharpish!
good luck.;)

Wolfe Tone

Dean0088 wrote: »

T'was making reference to the forthcoming 'events' of a free gaff for a few weeks this summer:(

I'm praying to fcuk that she doesn't look at her phone. She's out at the minute getting the messages so here's hoping...

Be a laugh if she text back something like "I can't wait! "

Fukuyama

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Be a laugh if she text back something like "I can't wait! "

I think I'd die a little inside..

NothingMan

Dean0088 wrote: »

I think I'd die a little inside..

Pity you didn't send it to your dad. He'd read it and just give you a fist bump and a pack of condoms.

Scarinae

At the pub one evening, one of my friends said: "What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?... Not being retarded!"
There was laughter until one of the girls said "My sister was in the Special Olympics"

*tumbleweed*

rainbowdrop

I worked in a fish restaurant a few years ago and we had a girl working there for a few weeks on work experience. I asked her to go into the store cupboard one day to get some curry powder. She went in and came back to me saying:

"I can't find it"

I sent her in again

"it's on the top shelf"

Back she come's again

"I still can't find it"

By this time I was getting exasperated

"Are you fcuking blind or what?"


Turns out she was blind in one eye and partially sighted in the other....... Cringe!:o:o

Archeron

Asking the Spanish girl working in the deli in the local Spar if she had brown baps. She didnt get it, but everyone in the queue started laughing.

Funglegunk

Having dinner with a group of lads, one of whom suffered from depression and had once attempted suicide. Cue me:

"Ahhh I'm so hungry I could kill myself!"

Oops. No idea why I even said that.

Eever

Archeron wrote: »

Asking the Spanish girl working in the deli in the local Spar if she had brown baps. She didnt get it, but everyone in the queue started laughing.

Aww the poor girl! That's just mean!

My dad was on crutches and I called him a cripple in front of my wheelchair bound aunt.

Il Trap

neil_hosey wrote: »

telling an epileptic: "what do ye call a epileptic in a wheel chair?.... a transformer!! weh weh..." . that was awkward when i found out.

Similar experience. Told a former colleague that same joke, to which she replied, 'My son has epilepsy'.

Not my most triumphant moment

wild_cat

Asking a Norwegian Farmer how many Reindeer he had.

Apprently you just don't ask that question!

stovelid

Dean0088 wrote: »

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Worse if she sent one back?

rainbow kirby

NothingMan wrote: »

Making the oh so witty retort of "Your Ma" to a friend who's Mother had passed only a few months before relatively suddenly.

Did that too, only it wasn't a friend, it was the supervisor in work that day. :eek:

Cookie_Monster

used "faus pax" by mistake

pragmatic1

Talked a load of **** about someone and they were right behind me. Awkward. Good life lesson though. Now I try and either say it them directly or just shut my mouth.

Noo

NothingMan wrote: »

Making the oh so witty retort of "Your Ma" to a friend who's Mother had passed only a few months before relatively suddenly. Colour drained from my face as soon as the words left my mouth. Another friend did it agian recently. Really have to get more into the "so's your face" train of thought.

Yep did that too, thanks for reminding me i'm cringing here all over again.

The_Minister

I went into the Warhammer Store and tried to buy a 20-sided die.

I was mortified.

Noo

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Talked a load of **** about someone and they were right behind me. Awkward. Good life lesson though. Now I try and either say it them directly or just shut my mouth.

Oh did that one too, well kinda. Me and a friend bitching in the toilets about some other girl, cue said girl walking out of the cubicle behind us. We legged it outta there so fast.

nicebutdim

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Talked a load of **** about someone and they were right behind me. Awkward. Good life lesson though. Now I try and either say it them directly or just shut my mouth.

Did that with a previous boss.....sitting with my back to the door, talking to a colleague, and was giving it loads about what a tool he was....he walks in, but i'm in full flow...she tries to warn me, but no....I'm on a roll.... She eventually cracks up laughing and can only point over my shoulder towards him. Thankfully, he saw the funny side. I had to reconsider my opinion after that...

Now, I just STFU.....

podgemonster

On holidays in Greece with the lads and drinking late one night in the hotel bar, an irish girl in the corners is being dragged to bed by her mates and making these weird grunting, whining noises. We are so pissed ourselves didn't take too much notice until the next day in the pool when the we were throwing a ball across the pool and speaking quiet loudly

"Rememeber yer wan last night"
"Which"
"the one that was making the weird noises"
"ya was she deaf or just off her face"

We turn to see one of her mates staring at us then turns to the drunk girl from the night b4 and uses sign language, the drunk then stares at us like we just shát in her cereal.

Awkward!

Rubberlegs

Was talking to a guy at a bikeshow years ago, who about a year beforehand, had crashed his bike, his girlfriend on the back was killed. He asked me had I ever considered learning to ride a bike. I chirpily said " God no, I'd probably kill someone!" Talk about wanting the ground to open up and swallow me:o

Noo

73Cat wrote: »

Was talking to a guy at a bikeshow years ago, who about a year beforehand, had crashed his bike, his girlfriend on the back was killed. He asked me had I ever considered learning to ride a bike. I chirpily said " God no, I'd probably kill someone!" Talk about wanting the ground to open up and swallow me:o

we have a winner

Latchy

I was 18 at the time and acting the maggot with a pal when I said '' well how's yer dad keeping anyway '' ? '' only to quickly realise his dad had died a few weeks previously .:o

He wasn't amused but a quick 'sorry pal' reply from me was enough to take the confused , hurt look of his face .

deathrider

Dean0088 wrote: »

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Crap.

If that's not the perfect time for a 'Yore Ma' joke, then I really don't know what is.

pappyodaniel

A guy I'm fairly familiar with working in a local chipper served me one day and while he was walking over to the frier I noticed he was limping, with that I said "Hey Kaiser Souzai, gimme a bag of chips", it turned out it was a brother of the guy (who looked very similar) I thought it was who a year previous had lost a leg to cancer and was wearing an artificial leg.

Morto

Chnandler Bong

Noo wrote: »

we have a winner

Would have been worse if you said "yeah you're girlfriend"

mahamageehad

nicebutdim wrote: »

Did that with a previous boss.....sitting with my back to the door, talking to a colleague, and was giving it loads about what a tool he was....he walks in, but i'm in full flow...she tries to warn me, but no....I'm on a roll.... She eventually cracks up laughing and can only point over my shoulder towards him. Thankfully, he saw the funny side. I had to reconsider my opinion after that...

Now, I just STFU.....

your username makes that post way funnier, now I'm imagining you as that blonde chick from legally blonde! :P

ShagNastii

Not my faux pas but I've a massive one which anytime I think back makes me cringe like a mo-fo.

My mate has a club hand(is that the correct term?) It's not at all that noticeable as it's not scary movie 2 bad and the guy does well not to bring it to peoples attention.

One night we were in a nightclub after exams and as we walked to the bar I met a girl I knew quite well,who like the pair of us, was 5 or 6 drinks on. She can be a plank at times. She shouted my name and insisted I gave a massive high five. So I absolutely wellied a high five and she chuffed with that.

She recognised my mate as she had often met him through various parties we'd been at. She shouted his name and requested a high five. He laughed and gave a half assed high five, Left hand to right hand. She told him how piss poor it was and to give her a proper one. He got sort of embarrassed and gave a left to right one again. She did it again and at this stage I saw what was coming a mile off. In my head I was like "please stop girl, please stop girl, please stop girl!!!!!".

On the third request he fired the right hand up to meet hers. Upon seeing what I explained earlier, the girl jumped with surprise. It was almost like it happened in slow motion.

Que the most awkward silence of about 2 minutes as everyone realised what had just happened and didn't know what to say. If a giant hole appeared in front of them, the duo would have dived head first in no doubt.

Console

I was in a job with a burn-victim and I said (after she touched something hot) .. "be careful you'll burn yourself!"

... i felt bad. But i wasnt saying it out of being a jerk. I just forget for that one second she was a burn victim. She didnt say anything.

brokenhinge

Once these two old women got onto the bus holding hands. I turned to my friend and said (Not in an indoor voice) "Oh my god, look at those two old lesbians"

My friend looked then turned back to me "that woman is mentally handicapped and I think blind too, the other womans holding her hand". Ah..

eternal

Lovely people on this -laughing at Special Olympic people .deaf people ,retards ,balck people ,in fact anyone who is any bit different.thats not a faux pas ,thats just being an ignorant ,small minded and I actually cant find any other words for you.I feel sick really.

AskMyChocolate

Was having a drink with my brother one Saturday afternoon and the following ensued:

Brother: "Jaysus, you'll never believe who I ran into in the pub last night."

Me: "Who?"

Brother: "Maura Ryan. Jesus, I don't think I've seen her since I was twelve. We had a great old chat. Must've talked for an hour."

Me: "Who?"

Brother: "Maura Ryan. Aah y'must remember her. My godmother. Great friend of Mam's from Greystones."

Me: "You mean Mona Ryan ?"

*Brother's pallor changes*

Brother: "It is Mona, isn't it ?"

Me (grinning) : "Yup. Aah, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure she didn't notice."

Brother (grimacing): "No, you don't understand. I was struggling to remember her name and then it just clicked. Maura. Well needless to say,I was so chuffed with myself for remembering, it was Maura this and Maura that, and "shur you and I know well Maura", Maura Maura Maura Maura Maura, for over an hour. Christ, I probably asked her if Liam was still working for Bord Na Maura."

I nearly puked I was laughing so hard.

Funglegunk

eternal wrote: »

Lovely people on this -laughing at Special Olympic people .deaf people ,retards ,balck people ,in fact anyone who is any bit different.thats not a faux pas ,thats just being an ignorant ,small minded and I actually cant find any other words for you.I feel sick really.

I think you'll find that the use of that word is not very nice. You could even say its ignorant and small-minded.

degausserxo

eternal wrote: »

Lovely people on this -laughing at Special Olympic people .deaf people ,retards ,balck people ,in fact anyone who is any bit different.thats not a faux pas ,thats just being an ignorant ,small minded and I actually cant find any other words for you.I feel sick really.

I'd like to refer you to your own post:

eternal wrote: »

i want to know why all the brides are pig ugly and fat except for one so far ? why am i single and all these monsters on tv? what drugs are these people on .tv should be entertaining ,im tearing my fu**ing eyes out looking at these freaks

Pot kettle?

Gloomtastic!

degausserxo wrote: »

I'd like to refer you to your own post:




Pot kettle?

Good spot!

I've heard it said that Hell is not a place but you just relive the moment you realise you've faux pas'd again and again for all eternity! Good to see I won't be alone......

Mr.Crinklewood

paddy0090 wrote: »

Asked a friend about his Surprise 21st party, then 2 years later asked his parents about their Surprise Wedding Anniversary party. They don't send me invites anymore. I'm told they don't do Surprise parties either

Would have been worse if it was their 25th anniversary.

brokenhinge

eternal wrote: »

Lovely people on this -laughing at Special Olympic people .deaf people ,retards ,balck people ,in fact anyone who is any bit different.thats not a faux pas ,thats just being an ignorant ,small minded and I actually cant find any other words for you.I feel sick really.

Err... we wouldn't have noticed it's a faux pas if we didn't feel bad for doing it would we?

No one comes on and goes "LOL I punched a blind deaf midget in the face once LOL".