Whats the biggest faux pas you've ever made?

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Talked a load of **** about someone and they were right behind me. Awkward. Good life lesson though. Now I try and either say it them directly or just shut my mouth.

Oh did that one too, well kinda. Me and a friend bitching in the toilets about some other girl, cue said girl walking out of the cubicle behind us. We legged it outta there so fast.

On holidays in Greece with the lads and drinking late one night in the hotel bar, an irish girl in the corners is being dragged to bed by her mates and making these weird grunting, whining noises. We are so pissed ourselves didn't take too much notice until the next day in the pool when the we were throwing a ball across the pool and speaking quiet loudly

"Rememeber yer wan last night"
"Which"
"the one that was making the weird noises"
"ya was she deaf or just off her face"

We turn to see one of her mates staring at us then turns to the drunk girl from the night b4 and uses sign language, the drunk then stares at us like we just shát in her cereal.

Awkward!

73Cat wrote: »

Was talking to a guy at a bikeshow years ago, who about a year beforehand, had crashed his bike, his girlfriend on the back was killed. He asked me had I ever considered learning to ride a bike. I chirpily said " God no, I'd probably kill someone!" Talk about wanting the ground to open up and swallow me:o

we have a winner

Dean0088 wrote: »

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Crap.

If that's not the perfect time for a 'Yore Ma' joke, then I really don't know what is.

Not my faux pas but I've a massive one which anytime I think back makes me cringe like a mo-fo.

My mate has a club hand(is that the correct term?) It's not at all that noticeable as it's not scary movie 2 bad and the guy does well not to bring it to peoples attention.

One night we were in a nightclub after exams and as we walked to the bar I met a girl I knew quite well,who like the pair of us, was 5 or 6 drinks on. She can be a plank at times. She shouted my name and insisted I gave a massive high five. So I absolutely wellied a high five and she chuffed with that.

She recognised my mate as she had often met him through various parties we'd been at. She shouted his name and requested a high five. He laughed and gave a half assed high five, Left hand to right hand. She told him how piss poor it was and to give her a proper one. He got sort of embarrassed and gave a left to right one again. She did it again and at this stage I saw what was coming a mile off. In my head I was like "please stop girl, please stop girl, please stop girl!!!!!".

On the third request he fired the right hand up to meet hers. Upon seeing what I explained earlier, the girl jumped with surprise. It was almost like it happened in slow motion.

Que the most awkward silence of about 2 minutes as everyone realised what had just happened and didn't know what to say. If a giant hole appeared in front of them, the duo would have dived head first in no doubt.

Once these two old women got onto the bus holding hands. I turned to my friend and said (Not in an indoor voice) "Oh my god, look at those two old lesbians"

My friend looked then turned back to me "that woman is mentally handicapped and I think blind too, the other womans holding her hand". Ah..

Was having a drink with my brother one Saturday afternoon and the following ensued:

Brother: "Jaysus, you'll never believe who I ran into in the pub last night."

Me: "Who?"

Brother: "Maura Ryan. Jesus, I don't think I've seen her since I was twelve. We had a great old chat. Must've talked for an hour."

Me: "Who?"

Brother: "Maura Ryan. Aah y'must remember her. My godmother. Great friend of Mam's from Greystones."

Me: "You mean Mona Ryan ?"

*Brother's pallor changes*

Brother: "It is Mona, isn't it ?"

Me (grinning) : "Yup. Aah, I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure she didn't notice."

Brother (grimacing): "No, you don't understand. I was struggling to remember her name and then it just clicked. Maura. Well needless to say,I was so chuffed with myself for remembering, it was Maura this and Maura that, and "shur you and I know well Maura", Maura Maura Maura Maura Maura, for over an hour. Christ, I probably asked her if Liam was still working for Bord Na Maura."

I nearly puked I was laughing so hard.

paddy0090 wrote: »

Asked a friend about his Surprise 21st party, then 2 years later asked his parents about their Surprise Wedding Anniversary party. They don't send me invites anymore. I'm told they don't do Surprise parties either

Would have been worse if it was their 25th anniversary.

My uncle is a priest and just before his 25th ordination ceremony, all the family were down and his best friends from college/seminary. Loads of his parishioners had gotten him presents, most of them awful like CDs with priests singing, statues of Jesus etc. and we were all having a good aul laugh about the state of them. Then my uncle opened a present containing a multi-coloured clown lying down with a watering-can on his back, truly awful looking. I proceeded to lay into this present, talking about how awful it was, being way harsher than necessary, going on and on loudly , not noticing how quiet the family and friends were being. When I had finished, his best friend from college said. 'I got that for him.' Nearly died of embarrassment, he was sound about it though and thought it was hilarious.

The_Minister wrote: »

I went into the Warhammer Store and tried to buy a 20-sided die.

I was mortified.

OK - I am definitely in the slow lane here. What is a Warhammer store and what is wrong with a 20 sided die? You mean die as in the singular of dice right?