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Child Item

Whats the biggest faux pas you've ever made?

mathie

So sitting down with the missus the other night and flicking through the channels we come across a reality show.

It shows a close-up of a womans face.
I start ranting ....
"What's she done to herself? Plastic surgery gone mad I tell you! Look at those lips. She's just taken it way too far!"

"She's a burns victim" says the missus.

So whats the biggest faux pas you've ever made?

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Wolfe Tone

Used the word retard in the presence of someone who is;

Handicapped themselves,

and another time,

Has a close relation who is.

Gotta love them dirty looks!

jcrowbar

I used to work as a pool lifeguard.

Told a woman one day that it wasn't a good idea for her to be diving into the pool while she way pregnant.

Needless to say she wasn't pregnant at all!

Lando Griffin

Spotted a program last night when going through the channel guide called Extreme Coupling.
Sat down a 10 o clock to watch couples getting it on with other couples expecting loads of boobies and the like and it turned out to be Extreme Couponing, where these ones were going round collecting coupons for everything.:mad:

paddy0090

Asked a friend about his Surprise 21st party, then 2 years later asked his parents about their Surprise Wedding Anniversary party. They don't send me invites anymore. I'm told they don't do Surprise parties either

sensibleken

I used the fish knife to stab a racist

NothingMan

Making the oh so witty retort of "Your Ma" to a friend who's Mother had passed only a few months before relatively suddenly. Colour drained from my face as soon as the words left my mouth. Another friend did it agian recently. Really have to get more into the "so's your face" train of thought.

Fukuyama

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Crap.

neil_hosey

telling an epileptic: "what do ye call a epileptic in a wheel chair?.... a transformer!! weh weh..." . that was awkward when i found out.

slavetothegrind

Dean0088 wrote: »

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Crap.

you can't not tell us what you wrote now!!!!:p

Twin-go

Couple of years ago strolling down the street with a few mate. Noticed a guy in an electric wheel chair struggling to get up the small curb onto the footpath.

Asked him did he need some help? Then proceededto tell him to go back a bit and take a "run" at it. He said " I wish I could!"

I was

Sinfonia

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Spotted a program last night when going through the channel guide called Extreme Coupling.
Sat down a 10 o clock to watch couples getting it on with other couples expecting loads of boobies and the like and it turned out to be Extreme Couponing, where these ones were going round collecting coupons for everything.:mad:

Is that a faux pas??

A guy I used to work with had a great one:

He was at a festival, and a stranger came up behind him and put a hat on his head while saying "Want this hat?" He turned around, saying in a chirpy tone "Aw sh*t yeah, n*ggaaa!", only to discover that the stranger who had adorned him with the hat was in fact a black woman.
He, and everyone else around, just stood there frozen, many mouths agape, him with his arms still in a shrugging position, for what was probably about 4 seconds but must have felt like an eternity. Apparently she just laughed, and the good times resumed.
I always imagine a record screeching to a stop, and then continuing at the point where she laughs..

Fukuyama

slavetothegrind wrote: »

you can't not tell us what you wrote now!!!!:p

T'was making reference to the forthcoming 'events' of a free gaff for a few weeks this summer:(

I'm praying to fcuk that she doesn't look at her phone. She's out at the minute getting the messages so here's hoping...

cml387

I used to run a major Irish bank.
Instead of betting all the money we had on deposit on a horse race in Doncaster,I went with the flow and invested it in property instead.
Well my face is pretty red now!

slavetothegrind

better get that phone off her sharpish!
good luck.;)

Wolfe Tone

Dean0088 wrote: »

T'was making reference to the forthcoming 'events' of a free gaff for a few weeks this summer:(

I'm praying to fcuk that she doesn't look at her phone. She's out at the minute getting the messages so here's hoping...

Be a laugh if she text back something like "I can't wait!

Fukuyama

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Be a laugh if she text back something like "I can't wait! "

I think I'd die a little inside..

NothingMan

Dean0088 wrote: »

I think I'd die a little inside..

Pity you didn't send it to your dad. He'd read it and just give you a fist bump and a pack of condoms.

Scarinae

At the pub one evening, one of my friends said: "What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?... Not being retarded!"
There was laughter until one of the girls said "My sister was in the Special Olympics"

*tumbleweed*

rainbowdrop

I worked in a fish restaurant a few years ago and we had a girl working there for a few weeks on work experience. I asked her to go into the store cupboard one day to get some curry powder. She went in and came back to me saying:

"I can't find it"

I sent her in again

"it's on the top shelf"

Back she come's again

"I still can't find it"

By this time I was getting exasperated

"Are you fcuking blind or what?"

Turns out she was blind in one eye and partially sighted in the other....... Cringe!:o:o

Archeron

Asking the Spanish girl working in the deli in the local Spar if she had brown baps. She didnt get it, but everyone in the queue started laughing.

Funglegunk

Having dinner with a group of lads, one of whom suffered from depression and had once attempted suicide. Cue me:

"Ahhh I'm so hungry I could kill myself!"

Oops. No idea why I even said that.

Eever

Archeron wrote: »

Asking the Spanish girl working in the deli in the local Spar if she had brown baps. She didnt get it, but everyone in the queue started laughing.

Aww the poor girl! That's just mean!

My dad was on crutches and I called him a cripple in front of my wheelchair bound aunt.

Il Trap

neil_hosey wrote: »

telling an epileptic: "what do ye call a epileptic in a wheel chair?.... a transformer!! weh weh..." . that was awkward when i found out.

Similar experience. Told a former colleague that same joke, to which she replied, 'My son has epilepsy'.

Not my most triumphant moment

wild_cat

Asking a Norwegian Farmer how many Reindeer he had.

Apprently you just don't ask that question!

stovelid

Dean0088 wrote: »

No less than ten minutes ago I just sent what could be described as a 'saucy' text to my own mother instead of my girlfriend.

Worse if she sent one back?

rainbow kirby

NothingMan wrote: »

Making the oh so witty retort of "Your Ma" to a friend who's Mother had passed only a few months before relatively suddenly.

Did that too, only it wasn't a friend, it was the supervisor in work that day. :eek:

Cookie_Monster

used "faus pax" by mistake

pragmatic1

Talked a load of **** about someone and they were right behind me. Awkward. Good life lesson though. Now I try and either say it them directly or just shut my mouth.

Noo

NothingMan wrote: »

Making the oh so witty retort of "Your Ma" to a friend who's Mother had passed only a few months before relatively suddenly. Colour drained from my face as soon as the words left my mouth. Another friend did it agian recently. Really have to get more into the "so's your face" train of thought.

Yep did that too, thanks for reminding me i'm cringing here all over again.

The_Minister

I went into the Warhammer Store and tried to buy a 20-sided die.

I was mortified.