Would you stay with your partner if they became disfigured?

Blobby George

I was watching that great film 'Vanilla Sky' again there recently and it got me thinking. If your partner became badly disfigured as a result of a fire or a car accident for example, would you stay with them?

RichieC

I rather be known as the guy with a disfigured girlfriend than the complete and utter cnut.

besides that it's a moral fking duty... not that kids these days know sh*te about that.

Aoifey!

Of course.

hondasam

if you love someone yes of course you would stay with them.

El Guapo!

Blobby George wrote: »

I was watching that great film 'Vanilla Sky'

I'm sorry what?!!!???:eek:

westendgirlie

Not if he was a looper like Cameron Diaz' character!!!


Seriously, I love my man, farts and all. And i'd never leave him.......EVER!!!! <guess who sounds like the looper now>

easyeason3

Yes.
I was never one to be shallow enough to go for looks anyway I just happen to be with a man I find physically attractive. His personality is the best part of him though & will always shine through.


EDIT: I was with a lot of men that weren't considered 'good looking' or even average looking for that matter. I always had a laugh with them & that is important.
I was also seeing a guy that is a multi millionare. He was as dull as my piss & was basically looking for a wife. I could have played along & married him, he was very naive so if inclined I could have fooled him. I ditched his ass though. After a few weeks I knew he wasn't my cup of tea.

landsleaving

Yes, definitely. I'm not a shallow, vacuous moron.

we'llallhavetea_old

well if they didnt change other than physically then yeah i would stay with them.

Sofiztikated

Suppose it would matter how disfigured you mean?

Like misshapen finger, it'd be grand.

But if anything happened her bewbs or ass, like a ass cheekbotomy, I'd be so out of there.

Not really. She has enough ass cheek in one to keep me happy. :pac:

If she reads this, I'll be disfigured!

Blobby George

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

well if they didnt change other than physically then yeah i would stay with them.

What if they got a serious dose? Think Simon Weston type burns.

jive

Yes but if they turned into a bitter shít about what happened then i'd give it a few courtesy weeks and hit the high road. Depending on the extent of the damage I'd give them weeks-months to get over their sourness. After that time period I would then expect them to return to how they were personality wise and if they didn't then I'm not staying with them because I am obligated not to leave someone just because they became disfigured.

DonalK1981

NO ONE No one is going to come out and say ''yea, I'm so shallow and hung up on looks that I would definitely be gone as soon as my partner gets disfigured, be it in a car crash/fire or whatever!''

hondasam

DonalK1981 wrote: »

NO ONE No one is going to come out and say ''yea, I'm so shallow and hung up on looks that I would definitely be gone as soon as my partner gets disfigured, be it in a car crash/fire or whatever!''

even if you were married and had children with this person ?

Blisterman

Well physical attraction is a very important thing in a relationship. It's what seperates girlfriend and merely a friend. So personally I wouldn't look down on anyone who would leave a partner if they became so disfigured there was no longer any attraction.

Cat Melodeon

God yeah. I've a bit of a stump fetish.

admiralofthefleet

of course i would, beauty is only skin deep. its the person that matters

pow wow

DonalK1981 wrote: »

NO ONE No one is going to come out and say ''yea, I'm so shallow and hung up on looks that I would definitely be gone as soon as my partner gets disfigured, be it in a car crash/fire or whatever!''

*checks poll results*

Ummm....so far 7 out of a possible 27 have

Oranage2

It would depend on whether we had kids and even then it still would be a no!

orourkeda

In sickness and in health etc

easyeason3

DonalK1981 wrote: »

NO ONE No one is going to come out and say ''yea, I'm so shallow and hung up on looks that I would definitely be gone as soon as my partner gets disfigured, be it in a car crash/fire or whatever!''

I'd imagine that if you're with that person more than a wet week then it wouldn't even enter your head whether you would stay with them or not.

Relationships break up for loads of reasons. There's nothing to say your other half gets half his/ her face melted off them but you end up breakin gup anyway a few months/ years later due to different reasons.
But to break up with someone for their looks only is ****.

DonalK1981

hondasam wrote: »

even if you were married and had children with this person ?

Read it again, and read it more slowly next time

Biggins

The question doesn't even arise.
Simply "yes".

hondasam

Blisterman wrote: »

Well physical attraction is a very important thing in a relationship. It's what seperates girlfriend and merely a friend. So personally I wouldn't look down on anyone who would leave a partner if they became so disfigured there was no longer any attraction.

I would not either, it would also depend on how long they were together. there is no point in staying out of pity.

Oranage2

Biggins wrote: »

The question doesn't even arise.
Simply "yes".

Is this because you wife is now on boards

hondasam

DonalK1981 wrote: »

Read it again, and read it more slowly next time

I meant to edit. you know what I mean.

RichieC

Blisterman wrote: »

Well physical attraction is a very important thing in a relationship. It's what seperates girlfriend and merely a friend. So personally I wouldn't look down on anyone who would leave a partner if they became so disfigured there was no longer any attraction.

Of course you wouldn't, because you would too.

Junkies don't look down on other junkies.

kfallon

You fall in love cos of many traits/features of your partner, just because one of them has changed doesn't mean you go looking elsewhere. In fact I would hate my OH's personality to change rather than their appearance!

Madam

As long as he did'nt become a blue nose I'd stay with him;)

Sorry, I live in Scotland I had to get that in!

Biggins

Oranage2 wrote: »

Is this because you wife is now on boards

Honestly? No.
She knows me too well. I'm old fashioned.
She knows things like trust, loyalty and "in sickness and in health" are the world to me - so I do my best every day to lead by example.
It's just the way I am and was brought up - and I wouldn't change it.

fedor.2.

Yes but i would cheat relentlessly

reera82

Yes, as long as their personality does not change completely and they don't become a total recluse.
On another note, I have told my partner that if I ever end up a vegetable he is to walk away and find happiness somewhere else.

EverEvolving

Disfigured? I go off him when he gets a few extra spots :pac:

I kid, of course not, but I imagine it would do untold damage to a persons confidence and ability to socialise so it would have repercussions other than merely physical.

Bat Fasterd

lol at the "honest" answers.

Had I the face burnt off me I would not want my partner to have to put up with it.

Lie to people but never lie to yourself.

Noo

I remember seeing a documentry or possibly some sort of news story a few years ago about a US soldier whose face was horribly disfigured (i cant remember how), his wife and kids still loved him and the programme made the point that their youngest kid was conceived after he was disfigured. I know i'm not making much of a point here but the thread just reminded me of this.

RichieC

Bat Fasterd wrote: »

lol at the "honest" answers.

Had I the face burnt off me I would not want my partner to have to put up with it.

Lie to people but never lie to yourself.

I'm sure you'd be just delighted to lose the rock in your life at probably its hardest time.


sure buddy.

MadameCholet

Blobby George wrote: »

I was watching that great film 'Vanilla Sky' again there recently and it got me thinking. If your partner became badly disfigured as a result of a fire or a car accident for example, would you stay with them?

I can't vote yes or no to that. I think after you've been with somebody a fair while you don't see how good looking they are anymore. SO I'd be more likely to leave somebody if they became really miserable and bitter about what had happened to them (maybe they'd be entitled to be miserable and bitter but I couldn't handle it). That's probably a predictably female response. The men on this board would probably vote yeah, durr, off before they could dial 112.

ArtSmart

would they still be able to cook?

Dilynnio

People you must watch the show Katie....My Beautiful Face/Katie and My Beautiful Friends.

The most inspiring TV doc I have seen all year.

Katie was badly disfigured when acid was thrown on her 3 years ago.

I actually have a crush on her now. She is well fit.

So yes I would stay with my partner and I would be their absolute rock!

discus

Bat Fasterd wrote: »

lol at the "honest" answers.

Had I the face burnt off me I would not want my partner to have to put up with it.

Lie to people but never lie to yourself.

If I was in a relationship, and ended up badly disfigured or maimed etc... I'd top myself rather than force someone to endure that.

Dohnny Jepp

Yes, without a shadow of a doubt.

If I was gonna leave my partner and then before I left they became disfigured, I don't think I'd have it in me to leave them.

Moral of story, if u think i'm gonna leave u, run into a burning building and then my hands are tied!

landsleaving

discus wrote: »

If I was in a relationship, and ended up badly disfigured or maimed etc... I'd top myself rather than force someone to endure that.

You place too much value on appearance. What we perceive as beauty is a socially constructed myth we all buy into - myself included. I think I'd have the willpower, intelligence and empathy necessary to ignore my initial disgust and learn to accept an alternative way of seeing someone I care about - to the point any revulsion fades and it no longer matters. I hope I would, anyway.

TheReverend

Depends on extent of damage tbh, face burnt off or she ends up looking like leather face then yes I would leave.

discus

landsleaving wrote: »

You place too much value on appearance. What we perceive as beauty is a socially constructed myth we all buy into - myself included. I think I'd have the willpower, intelligence and empathy necessary to ignore my initial disgust and learn to accept an alternative way of seeing someone I care about - to the point any revulsion fades and it no longer matters. I hope I would, anyway.

I place nothing in appearance to be honest... For me, anyway. But you aren't seeing that it's not what is seen, but what has changed. I hope you would too; I also hope you're never tested. Because it's not just physical, people who become disfigured also change mentally... phychologically... etc.

ColeTrain

Honestly don't know. It's something you wouldn't be able to answer until you were in that position. All very well being noble about it on forum but it's hard to know what you'd do.

Gunsfortoys

Honestly if I were to become disfigured, I would end it myself to save the other person the awkwardness of it. It is just easier that way.

Otherwise yes I would stay with someone if I still liked them.

angelfire9

I'd stay
Then again we're married 10 years and have 2 kids so my hubby is a MASSIVE part of my life

"in sickness and in health"

He has been seriously ill a few times (the first time before we were even married) and I didn't run
I can't see anything changing that

Azureus

I would stay. Its more than looks, you stop focusing on that after about a week in my experience!
But the major factor would be helping them get the personality they had before back. I dont think many people would be the same after a serious disfigurement, and that would be the difficult thing for me rather than the physical side of it.

Naikon

The situation is based on the assumption that I have a partner. For shame OP.

Meh... Look how many relationships people have in their lives. If your partner gets disfigured, suddenly it's "over because they're disfigured" and the person is completely trapped in a relationship. It probably would have ended anyway without the disfigurement but because of it, the healthy partner is given a life sentence with the disfigured person out of guilt.

padi89

I don't think it would be as simple as just the physical aspect of it. It may have a devastating effect on the person disfigured and totally change their personality. Then again it may not i don't think it's a yes or no answer, a long term illness can put a massive strain on any relationship.