Would you stay with your partner if they became disfigured?

reera82 · 28-04-2011 10:35PM

Yes, as long as their personality does not change completely and they don't become a total recluse.
On another note, I have told my partner that if I ever end up a vegetable he is to walk away and find happiness somewhere else.

EverEvolving · 28-04-2011 10:36PM

Disfigured? I go off him when he gets a few extra spots :pac:

I kid, of course not, but I imagine it would do untold damage to a persons confidence and ability to socialise so it would have repercussions other than merely physical.

Bat Fasterd · 28-04-2011 10:36PM

lol at the "honest" answers.

Had I the face burnt off me I would not want my partner to have to put up with it.

Lie to people but never lie to yourself.

Noo · 28-04-2011 10:37PM

I remember seeing a documentry or possibly some sort of news story a few years ago about a US soldier whose face was horribly disfigured (i cant remember how), his wife and kids still loved him and the programme made the point that their youngest kid was conceived after he was disfigured. I know i'm not making much of a point here but the thread just reminded me of this.

RichieC · 28-04-2011 10:38PM

Bat Fasterd wrote: »

lol at the "honest" answers.

Had I the face burnt off me I would not want my partner to have to put up with it.

Lie to people but never lie to yourself.

I'm sure you'd be just delighted to lose the rock in your life at probably its hardest time.

sure buddy.

MadameCholet · 28-04-2011 10:40PM

Blobby George wrote: »

I was watching that great film 'Vanilla Sky' again there recently and it got me thinking. If your partner became badly disfigured as a result of a fire or a car accident for example, would you stay with them?

I can't vote yes or no to that. I think after you've been with somebody a fair while you don't see how good looking they are anymore. SO I'd be more likely to leave somebody if they became really miserable and bitter about what had happened to them (maybe they'd be entitled to be miserable and bitter but I couldn't handle it). That's probably a predictably female response. The men on this board would probably vote yeah, durr, off before they could dial 112.

ArtSmart · 28-04-2011 10:41PM

would they still be able to cook?

Dilynnio · 28-04-2011 10:43PM

People you must watch the show Katie....My Beautiful Face/Katie and My Beautiful Friends.

The most inspiring TV doc I have seen all year.

Katie was badly disfigured when acid was thrown on her 3 years ago.

I actually have a crush on her now. She is well fit.

So yes I would stay with my partner and I would be their absolute rock!

discus · 28-04-2011 10:48PM

Bat Fasterd wrote: »

lol at the "honest" answers.

Had I the face burnt off me I would not want my partner to have to put up with it.

Lie to people but never lie to yourself.

If I was in a relationship, and ended up badly disfigured or maimed etc... I'd top myself rather than force someone to endure that.

Dohnny Jepp · 28-04-2011 10:50PM

Yes, without a shadow of a doubt.

If I was gonna leave my partner and then before I left they became disfigured, I don't think I'd have it in me to leave them.

Moral of story, if u think i'm gonna leave u, run into a burning building and then my hands are tied!

landsleaving · 28-04-2011 10:54PM

discus wrote: »

If I was in a relationship, and ended up badly disfigured or maimed etc... I'd top myself rather than force someone to endure that.

You place too much value on appearance. What we perceive as beauty is a socially constructed myth we all buy into - myself included. I think I'd have the willpower, intelligence and empathy necessary to ignore my initial disgust and learn to accept an alternative way of seeing someone I care about - to the point any revulsion fades and it no longer matters. I hope I would, anyway.

TheReverend · 28-04-2011 10:54PM

Depends on extent of damage tbh, face burnt off or she ends up looking like leather face then yes I would leave.

discus · 28-04-2011 11:24PM

landsleaving wrote: »

You place too much value on appearance. What we perceive as beauty is a socially constructed myth we all buy into - myself included. I think I'd have the willpower, intelligence and empathy necessary to ignore my initial disgust and learn to accept an alternative way of seeing someone I care about - to the point any revulsion fades and it no longer matters. I hope I would, anyway.

I place nothing in appearance to be honest... For me, anyway. But you aren't seeing that it's not what is seen, but what has changed. I hope you would too; I also hope you're never tested. Because it's not just physical, people who become disfigured also change mentally... phychologically... etc.

ColeTrain · 28-04-2011 11:34PM

Honestly don't know. It's something you wouldn't be able to answer until you were in that position. All very well being noble about it on forum but it's hard to know what you'd do.

Gunsfortoys · 29-04-2011 12:57AM

Honestly if I were to become disfigured, I would end it myself to save the other person the awkwardness of it. It is just easier that way.

Otherwise yes I would stay with someone if I still liked them.

angelfire9 · 29-04-2011 06:59AM

I'd stay
Then again we're married 10 years and have 2 kids so my hubby is a MASSIVE part of my life

"in sickness and in health"

He has been seriously ill a few times (the first time before we were even married) and I didn't run
I can't see anything changing that

Azureus · 29-04-2011 07:08AM

I would stay. Its more than looks, you stop focusing on that after about a week in my experience!
But the major factor would be helping them get the personality they had before back. I dont think many people would be the same after a serious disfigurement, and that would be the difficult thing for me rather than the physical side of it.

Naikon · 29-04-2011 07:16AM

The situation is based on the assumption that I have a partner. For shame OP.

29-04-2011 07:38AM

Meh... Look how many relationships people have in their lives. If your partner gets disfigured, suddenly it's "over because they're disfigured" and the person is completely trapped in a relationship. It probably would have ended anyway without the disfigurement but because of it, the healthy partner is given a life sentence with the disfigured person out of guilt.

padi89 · 29-04-2011 08:12AM

I don't think it would be as simple as just the physical aspect of it. It may have a devastating effect on the person disfigured and totally change their personality. Then again it may not i don't think it's a yes or no answer, a long term illness can put a massive strain on any relationship.

candy-gal1 · 29-04-2011 08:20AM

Depends on how long you were with your partner tbh, if its an actual relationship and I loved them and couldnt see my life without them then yes of course id stay with them. imho, wouldnt make much of a difference to me in that case.

Cú Giobach · 29-04-2011 08:21AM

I'd find it hard to imaging anyone who has been or is truly in love voting no above, I did, but that was a mistake, so knock one off the no's and add one yes.

AllYourBass · 29-04-2011 08:29AM

"Right now you have disfigure, I'd like to see you with datfigure"

GavRedKing · 29-04-2011 08:44AM

I'd get out of dodge anyway, physical looks and attractionto someone is important enough for me to the degree that it would play on mind if a partner was injured and disfigured, may say alot about my personality and character but I remmeber this question was raised with my last ex, who i was with for 3 years and we both concluded if anything serious happened to one and other it would definetly be over.

maybe we we're just cnuts

Blisterman · 29-04-2011 09:37AM

RichieC wrote: »

Of course you wouldn't, because you would too.

Junkies don't look down on other junkies.

That's harsh.

There's a lot of nobel idealism on this thread, but the reality's probably quite different. I actually know somebody who personally went through this with their girlfriend. He tried to stick it out, but eventually couldn't stay with someone he wasn't attracted to, so he ended up breaking up with her. Harsh, but a relationship is supposed to be a partnership. You shouldn't stay with someone out of pity.

G.K. · 29-04-2011 09:43AM

I would. It's the personality that counts, IMHO.

fryup · 29-04-2011 09:52AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKRS700sKDw

stovelid · 29-04-2011 09:54AM

Depends on the size of the accident compensation.

mccabecc · 29-04-2011 09:54AM

I think if you love someone truly than you would be with this person no matter what!

Aidric · 29-04-2011 10:45AM

I think it's a very interesting question and a hard one to answer. Physical attractions means a hell of a lot. I don't buy in to this whole 'it's all what's on the inside' tosh, usually spouted by someone dating the back of a bus.

I strongly feel that I would be staying with the person out of pity and that's a recipe for disaster. Further, I'm sure the disfigured persons self esteem would be through the floor.

The idiom 'you have to be cruel to be kind' comes to mind.

Would you stay with your partner if they became disfigured?

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