Closest male equivalent to childbirth

FesterBeatty

I had a chicken jalfrezi earlier and was in a jocker afterwards - but it got me thinking...what is the nearest equivalent to childbirth that a man can experience? Just in terms of pain - doesnt have to be related to something exiting your anus (eg chopping off your leg with a rusty spoon, is that more painful than childbirth?)

AhSureTisGrand

Marriage

Dwellingdweller

Ejaculating

major bill

Breaking your humerus bone in two has to be up there for pain!!!!:eek:

OutlawPete

Bowel movement the night after you've had a few Guinnesses and a kebab.

Sykk

Kidney stones, or umbrella down the japs

Aldebaran

I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven that a swift kick to the testicles is more painful than childbirth.

strokemyclover

Jalepeno Peppers - they're hot going in but even hotter coming out!

Ghandee

FesterBeatty wrote: »

I had a chicken jalfrezi earlier and was in a jocker afterwards - but it got me thinking...what is the nearest equivalent to childbirth that a man can experience? Just in terms of pain - doesnt have to be related to something exiting your anus (eg chopping off your leg with a rusty spoon, is that more painful than childbirth?)

You big girls blouse!

That's one of the mildest curries in an indian!

Try madras or Vindaloo, then come back and well do business:cool:

ItsAWindUp

Listening to a woman in childbirth.

Paparazzo

Getting fisted by Andre the giant

W.Shakes-Beer

In before the Flutt!

Thatnastyboy

The pain of listening to people rabble on about the pain of childbirth :pac:








*legs it

Oranage2

Being lightly tickled on the tummy by a feather?

FesterBeatty

Ghandee wrote: »

You big girls blouse!

That's one of the mildest curries in an indian!

Try madras or Vindaloo, then come back and well do business:cool:

I had a madras the other night (love em) and the jalfrezi i had today in indie spice was WWAAAYYY hotter than any madras I've ever eaten! Still feelin rough! Fu(kin hole's raw!!

Kevin Duffy

Having a dislocated shoulder put back in with no anaesthetic. Before any woman argues, try putting the baby back in and we'll swap war stories.

hondasam

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Having a dislocated shoulder put back in with no anaesthetic. Before any woman argues, try putting the baby back in and we'll swap war stories.

No woman can argue with that :pac:

My name is URL

Sitting through Battle: Los Angeles

TheZohanS

Manflu is way worse than childbirth.

-Trek-

Listening to that Friday song

Paparazzo

FesterBeatty wrote: »

I had a madras the other night (love em) and the jalfrezi i had today in indie spice was WWAAAYYY hotter than any madras I've ever eaten! Still feelin rough! Fu(kin hole's raw!!

Jalfrezis can vary. A few Indians do them hotter than vindaloos, some do them milder than a madras. Sounds like you got a hot one.

El Weirdo

Ghandee wrote: »

You big girls blouse!

That's one of the mildest curries in an indian!

Try madras or Vindaloo, then come back and well do business:cool:

Pfft. Try a phall. That separates the men from the boys.

Penfailed

As someone said earlier - a kick in the balls has got to be up there.

hondasam

epidural has made childbirth painless.

Ghandee

FesterBeatty wrote: »

I had a madras the other night (love em) and the jalfrezi i had today in indie spice was WWAAAYYY hotter than any madras I've ever eaten! Still feelin rough! Fu(kin hole's raw!!

Which branch? Naas indie its pretty mild (dam tasty though)

El Weirdo wrote: »

Pfft. Try a phall. That separates the men from the boys.

Mad keen to try one, haven't found restaurant that serves them yet (not on menu anyway) perhaps you gotta ask for it?

Jamie Starr

The same threads being repeated over and over again.

Son Of A Vidic

Severe constipation - several hours spent in the bog in labour. I eventually gave birth to a malteser.

FesterBeatty

Ghandee wrote: »

Which branch? Naas indie its pretty mild (dam tasty though)



Mad keen to try one, haven't found restaurant that serves them yet (not on menu anyway) perhaps you gotta ask for it?

Swords. Yeah, u gotta ask for a Phal, never tried it but i know a guy who did it - once!

AhSureTisGrand

Dwellingdweller wrote: »

Ejaculating

You're doing it wrong

sesna

AhSureTisGrand wrote: »

You're doing it wrong

He means retrograde ejaculation

Fart

El Weirdo wrote: »

Pfft. Try a phall. That separates the men from the boys.

Yes!!! I bought one once and the Indian guy that took my order said that he's been eating spicy Indian food all his life but he wouldn't eat a Phall. I gotta say that I really enjoyed. It is so hot that it's fairly silly. I wouldn't go eating them all the time as there are much more tastier dishes that you can actually enjoy.

I'd eat a Phall or even a Vindaloo again, but only if I'm in the humour for some arse-burning spicyness.

Jamie Starr

El Weirdo wrote: »

Pfft. Try a phall. That separates the men from the boys.

My friends and I tried to get it one night at our local Indian place.

We pointed at the waiter and said "phall us!".

To this day I don't know why we were thrown out.

chickenbutt

A friend landed in the hospital once with kidney stones and was told by the nurse that from her personal experience, kidney stones were more painful than childbirth.

orourkeda

being the recipient of a kick in the stones

bronte

Aldebaran wrote: »

I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven that a swift kick to the testicles is more painful than childbirth.

No no no no no.
Any woman who's had her ovaries knocked during (ahem) a bit too vigorous a session basically undergoes the equivalent of a kick in the balls.

Nuff said.

ChaseThisLight

chickenbutt wrote: »

A friend landed in the hospital once with kidney stones and was told by the nurse that from her personal experience, kidney stones were more painful than childbirth.

This is actually fairly accurate - and I know this from personal experience because I had kidney stones while I was pregnant, and even with drugs for both, the pain was intense. I can only imagine how much more painful it might be for a man to have kidney stones.

djfitzerjnr

last minute winner against your football team.

Cat Melodeon

I'm guessing kidney stones comes close having seen my dad suffer from them. Any other transient pains like testicle-kicks, banjo-string ruptures, standing on upturned plugs etc only qualify if they are repeated at 2 minute intervals over a 4-36 hour period.
Obvs we're talking natural childbirth here, epidurals that work make it a bit of a more manageable experience.

paddy kerins

Having a massive sh**e

orourkeda

paddy kerins wrote: »

Having a massive ****e

Thats a mildly enjoyable experience

holystungun9

'bout 20 min.s ago. Dropped kids to the pool. Left my handprint on the towel holder.

Jan_Itor

Doing a big poos!

paddy kerins

orourkeda wrote: »

Thats a mildly enjoyable experience

Actually... I think you're right

Saermegil

Me ma always said it was like sh1tting out a watermelon - so there!

Kevin Duffy

Saermegil wrote: »

Me ma always said it was like ****eing out a watermelon - so there!

Go and do that so and report back to us, please.

Saermegil

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Go and do that so and report back to us, please.

will do when I work out the logistics of eating a whole watermelon - and no I'm not shoving it up there!

wait - what if you could plant a seed up there and then a few months later - out pops your red-and-green offspring!

nullzero

Has to be this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBTBToJBAIk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBTBToJBAIk

pragmatic1

orourkeda wrote: »

Thats a mildly enjoyable experience

Depends on the girth and density of the shyte.

superelliptic

FesterBeatty wrote: »

...doesnt have to be related to something exiting your anus ...

Ok, what about the other way around? :eek:

Tar.Aldarion

blender to penis, stitches without anesthetic.

im invisible

A patient receiving an epidural for pain relief typically receives a combination of local anesthetics and opioids. This combination works better than either type of drug used alone. Common

local anesthetics include lidocaine, bupivacaine, ropivacaine, and chloroprocaine. Common opioids include

morphine, fentanyl, sufentanil, and pethidine (known as meperidine in the U.S.). These are injected in relatively small doses.

Occasionally other agents may be used, such as clonidine or ketamine.

into your spine? Sounds like fun to me