Closest male equivalent to childbirth

Jamie Starr · 26-04-2011 01:04AM

El Weirdo wrote: »

Pfft. Try a phall. That separates the men from the boys.

My friends and I tried to get it one night at our local Indian place.

We pointed at the waiter and said "phall us!".

To this day I don't know why we were thrown out.

chickenbutt · 26-04-2011 01:05AM

A friend landed in the hospital once with kidney stones and was told by the nurse that from her personal experience, kidney stones were more painful than childbirth.

orourkeda · 26-04-2011 01:09AM

being the recipient of a kick in the stones

bronte · 26-04-2011 01:11AM

Aldebaran wrote: »

I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven that a swift kick to the testicles is more painful than childbirth.

No no no no no.
Any woman who's had her ovaries knocked during (ahem) a bit too vigorous a session basically undergoes the equivalent of a kick in the balls.

Nuff said.

ChaseThisLight · 26-04-2011 01:12AM

chickenbutt wrote: »

A friend landed in the hospital once with kidney stones and was told by the nurse that from her personal experience, kidney stones were more painful than childbirth.

This is actually fairly accurate - and I know this from personal experience because I had kidney stones while I was pregnant, and even with drugs for both, the pain was intense. I can only imagine how much more painful it might be for a man to have kidney stones.

djfitzerjnr · 26-04-2011 01:14AM

last minute winner against your football team.

Cat Melodeon · 26-04-2011 01:20AM

I'm guessing kidney stones comes close having seen my dad suffer from them. Any other transient pains like testicle-kicks, banjo-string ruptures, standing on upturned plugs etc only qualify if they are repeated at 2 minute intervals over a 4-36 hour period.
Obvs we're talking natural childbirth here, epidurals that work make it a bit of a more manageable experience.

paddy kerins · 26-04-2011 01:20AM

Having a massive sh**e

orourkeda · 26-04-2011 01:21AM

paddy kerins wrote: »

Having a massive ****e

Thats a mildly enjoyable experience

holystungun9 · 26-04-2011 01:21AM

'bout 20 min.s ago. Dropped kids to the pool. Left my handprint on the towel holder.

Jan_Itor · 26-04-2011 01:22AM

Doing a big poos!

paddy kerins · 26-04-2011 01:24AM

orourkeda wrote: »

Thats a mildly enjoyable experience

Actually... I think you're right

Saermegil · 26-04-2011 01:46AM

Me ma always said it was like sh1tting out a watermelon - so there!

Kevin Duffy · 26-04-2011 01:49AM

Saermegil wrote: »

Me ma always said it was like ****eing out a watermelon - so there!

Go and do that so and report back to us, please.

Saermegil · 26-04-2011 01:53AM

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Go and do that so and report back to us, please.

will do when I work out the logistics of eating a whole watermelon - and no I'm not shoving it up there!

wait - what if you could plant a seed up there and then a few months later - out pops your red-and-green offspring!

nullzero · 26-04-2011 02:11AM

Has to be this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBTBToJBAIk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBTBToJBAIk

pragmatic1 · 26-04-2011 02:26AM

orourkeda wrote: »

Thats a mildly enjoyable experience

Depends on the girth and density of the shyte.

superelliptic · 26-04-2011 02:37AM

FesterBeatty wrote: »

...doesnt have to be related to something exiting your anus ...

Ok, what about the other way around? :eek:

Tar.Aldarion · 26-04-2011 02:42AM

blender to penis, stitches without anesthetic.

im invisible · 26-04-2011 02:45AM

A patient receiving an epidural for pain relief typically receives a combination of local anesthetics and opioids. This combination works better than either type of drug used alone. Common

local anesthetics include lidocaine, bupivacaine, ropivacaine, and chloroprocaine. Common opioids include

morphine, fentanyl, sufentanil, and pethidine (known as meperidine in the U.S.). These are injected in relatively small doses.

Occasionally other agents may be used, such as clonidine or ketamine.

into your spine? Sounds like fun to me

Queen-Mise · 26-04-2011 02:49AM

hondasam wrote: »

epidural has made childbirth painless.

No it hasnt. It works for pain up until fully dilated but after that, the final contractions & pushing is horrifically painful.

Try being kicked repeatedly in the balls every 3-8 mins for three hours.

goz83 · 26-04-2011 03:00AM

holystungun9 wrote: »

'bout 20 min.s ago. Dropped kids to the pool. Left my handprint on the towel holder.

Were you out of bog roll? Hope nobody else uses that towel to dry their face

So what's equal to child birth? I would say admitting you're a Liverpool fan.

hehe...i don't support football at all

Coillte_Bhoy · 26-04-2011 03:03AM

Lumbar puncture. Close thread.

MagicSean · 26-04-2011 04:54AM

Queen-Mise wrote: »

No it hasnt. It works for pain up until fully dilated but after that, the final contractions & pushing is horrifically painful.

Try being kicked repeatedly in the balls every 3-8 mins for three hours.

It's not the same kind of pain. Women don't have an equivalent to testicle pain. One kick can last days. I think the male equivalent of childbirth would be large kidney stones being passed through their urine.

angelfire9 · 26-04-2011 10:24AM

k_mac wrote: »

It's not the same kind of pain. Women don't have an equivalent to testicle pain. One kick can last days. I think the male equivalent of childbirth would be large kidney stones being passed through their urine.

Its not like you'd be fit for dancing after childbirth!
Had both of mine au naturel (not by choice) and couldn't walk for weeks after the first and almost bled out after the second..... no comparison really!

stovelid · 26-04-2011 10:33AM

Catching your cock in a zip.

blaze1 · 26-04-2011 12:59PM

I made a curry there a while back, chopped the chilli's, scrubed the hands clean a coulpe of times, put the curry in the oven..

Proceeded to sit down and watch a bit of tv, assumed the comfy positition with the hands craddling the sack....

What ensued was pure fire.... 2 showers later and I was ok. :eek:

the groutch · 26-04-2011 01:07PM

I've heard people say the equivalent would be trying to force a lemon out through your ****

pragmatic1 · 26-04-2011 01:12PM

the groutch wrote: »

I've heard people say the equivalent would be trying to force a lemon out through your ****

That would be the equivalent if babies were the size of an adult cow.

kfallon · 26-04-2011 01:14PM

Having your 4th shite of the day after consuming taco chips the night before, your arse looks like a chewed orange! You have to 'dab' rather than wipe! Don't even look at the bog roll if you're squeamish :pac:

I'd say a 'DIY circumcision' is pretty painful too *crosses legs at the thought of it*

Closest male equivalent to childbirth

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