Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

How so Joe

if guns don't kill people, people kill people,
Does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?

What??
Who toasts toast? Toast is already toasted!
PEOPLE toast BREAD.:rolleyes:

W.Shakes-Beer

Im not even friends with this girl, know her from years ago, popped onto her FB once to be greated with a load of ****e, here is the current status's

can't believe mid term is nearly over and have done no college work yet!

What a day! took me 3hrs to get to college and 2hrs 30mins to get home cos of stupid floods!

just finished one essay! one more to go and then i'm done! yaaayyy!

omg am soooo tired this weekend and have sooo much to do! can't wati till midterm!

was supposed to do an essay today bt went shopping instead! ooopppsss!

omg i wish this stupid rain wud go away! am never prepared for the weather!

Had a productive day! got 2 of my assignments done! Now its time to have fun!

can't believe that i'm actually doing an essay that's not due in for another week! what is college doing to me??

Was offered a full time job but stupid college is getting in the way!

This is all one after the other, nothing positive in there to break up the monotony of boring, moany, "feel sorry for me" shíte.

im invisible

A 14 years old boy got beaten half dead by his stepfather.He only tried to protect his little sister from being raped.Now he's struggling for his life,but doctors say he won't make it without a surgery.His mother doesn't have money to pay it.Facebook donates 45cents for every sharing or reposting.Please help.Share · November

158,852 shares

well, thats $71, 643.40 so far, and I havnt repoasted it yet...

massdebater

a ghurl was n da swimming pool wif her bf n she z, "bbz do yhu like my boobies?"
he said, "NO WAY""
da ghurl cried and den drowned
bf waz cryin and went to rescue her
buh she waz ded
... he whispered to her, ""yhur boobies are sxci you mother****er in da mixx 2k11""
then he blew up
XOx***//<3LIKE IF YHU CRii EVERY Tiim3♥~~**xOX

:pac:

BrookieD

Hi
I have a friend who's sister keeps posting like the below
"nyt bhun hpe tamars a beta day fa ya xx"

At first I thought she just was using text speak but the more I read I think she just has no grasp of how to write correctly in English. I am no expert but holy Jesus she writes everything this way. I keep her there to see how bad she can get.... lol

Professey Chin

massdebater wrote: »

a ghurl was n da swimming pool wif her bf n she z, "bbz do yhu like my boobies?"
he said, "NO WAY""
da ghurl cried and den drowned
bf waz cryin and went to rescue her
buh she waz ded
... he whispered to her, ""yhur boobies are sxci you mother****er in da mixx 2k11""
then he blew up
XOx***//<3LIKE IF YHU CRii EVERY Tiim3♥~~**xOX

:pac:

I swear to christ the next person I see posting one of these on FB (joke or not) is getting this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpNtbyz3DEE

admiralofthefleet

this was posted on my missus's profile the day after she had our son -

(ive just done copypasta)

When u have em what u calem n was e on time or over due what u calem congrats hun es georgous


the worst thing about that is yer woman who posted that is in her 30's. jesus wept

admiralofthefleet

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

this was posted on my missus's profile the day after she had our son -

(ive just done copypasta)

When u have em what u calem n was e on time or over due what u calem congrats hun es georgous


the worst thing about that is yer woman who posted that is in her 30's. jesus wept

I thought you were saying she posted it herself, and I was going to reply "ah she's just had a kid, give her a break" :pac:
But eh, what? what is calem?

Cunning Stunt

My latest pet hate is those stupid f'n ''status shuffle'' applications people use, to post randomly generated crap in their status. What is the f'n point in that??!

watna

bluewolf wrote: »

I thought you were saying she posted it herself, and I was going to reply "ah she's just had a kid, give her a break" :pac:
But eh, what? what is calem?

At first I thought she was saying - did you call him Calum? but now I think it's what did you call him?

It seriously makes me worry for the future of the human race.

CMpunked

im invisible wrote: »

158,852 shares

Its at 180,000 now! :eek:

admiralofthefleet

bluewolf wrote: »

I thought you were saying she posted it herself, and I was going to reply "ah she's just had a kid, give her a break" :pac:
But eh, what? what is calem?

the poor lamb meant 'what did you call him'

my missus didnt post it one of her friends did

watna

watna wrote: »

At first I thought she was saying - did you call him Calum? but now I think it's what did you call him?

It seriously makes me worry for the future of the human race.

I thought it was the name as well...

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

the poor lamb meant 'what did you call him'

my missus didnt post it one of her friends did

yeah i got that in the end

admiralofthefleet

ive just updated my profile with this:

'Apparently animals make different sounds according to different languages.

For example, in Korea a dog makes a sizzling noise'

cyrusdvirus

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

ive just updated my profile with this:

'Apparently animals make different sounds according to different languages.

For example, in Korea a dog makes a sizzling noise'

Thanked, if i knew you on FB it'd be liked but cos it's here consider it nicked!!

im invisible

massdebater wrote: »

a ghurl was n da swimming pool wif her bf n she z,...

they are getting more creative with the txt spk, i actually like that one..

Sauve

some rough night!!

just had chicken pasta and chicken soup!!! I'm still alive and full!! RESULT

THE BUBBLE IN MY PHONE SCREEN IS GONE!!!!!!!!!
anyone kno if the number 5 bus is on today?

channel munster match on??
pretty fun bus journey tbh

This guy has been blocked for some time now so I went to see if he's still posting drivel. The above is a small selection.... :eek:

Cunning Stunt

im invisible wrote: »

they are getting more creative with the txt spk, i actually like that one..

but what's the point in writing 'ghurl'? Sure that takes longer than writing it properly :rolleyes:

BrookieD

Is it a case of people just not educated to a high enough standard or is it a case of certain people looking to appear hip and cool to a certain social circle by using text speak in order to articulate themselves?

keano_afc

Every Saturday/Sunday night you can guarantee the news feed getting taken over with Stricly Come X Factor updates. "Yaaah Craig", "I love Johnny", etc. Congrats, you just got hidden.

IvyTheTerrible

keano_afc wrote: »

Every Saturday/Sunday night you can guarantee the news feed getting taken over with Stricly Come X Factor updates. "Yaaah Craig", "I love Johnny", etc. Congrats, you just got hidden.

I look at that in the positive way, it means I never have to watch a minute of the X factor but I know what is going on!

CMpunked

I just seen this:

Getting my bb fixed atm so if you need me 086 me..

086 you?! Oh you mean actually text you?.. Like a normal person would probably do in such an occasion. Gee, thanks for reminding everyone that you can still do that. I thought they got rid of that feature?! [/rant] :mad:

The King of Moo

"Read an article on the effects of alcohol Jaysus!!! it scared the ****e out of me!, so i've decided... No more ****ing reading for me!.~

People can have their opinions about everything in the world, but people's opinions end where the tip of your nose begins. People's opinions of others can only go so far as to where their own shoreline is. The world is for your taking, but other people are not. One is only allowed to have an opinion of you, if that person is done educating him/herself on everything about you. Before people educate themselves on everything about you, they're not allowed to open their venomous mouths and have an opinion about you.˙·٠•●♥ ♥♥...

..(T)(S)٠• Don’t let anyone rob You of Your Imagination,
(B)(♥)(B).€ۣۜ●..€ۣۜ● ٠• Your Creativity or Your Curiosity.
..(S)(T)...€ۣۜ●€ۣۜ●.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ٠•​ It’s Your place in the World; it’s Your Life.
.......\.....€ۣۜ●.../.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ​٠• Go on and Do all You can with it,
........|/)..| €ۣۜ●.◆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ٠• and Make it the Life You want to Live.
.....(\|/)...\/..//)˙·٠•●♥..Go​od night..♥♥..<{ ^ _ ^ }>.. zzz

The following was posted on 10 Nov, and I assume involves a little cut and paste failure:

The Date Of Tomorrow Will Be

┈┏┓┈┏┓┈┈┏┓┈┏┓┈┈┏┓┈┏┓ ┏╯┃┏╯┃┈┏╯┃┏╯┃┈┏╯┃┏╯┃ ┗┓┃┗┓┃┈┗┓┃┗┓┃┈┗┓┃┗┓┃ ┈┃┃┈┃┃╭╮┃┃┈┃┃╭╮┃┃┈┃┃ ┈┗┛┈┗┛╰╯┗┛┈┗┛╰╯┗┛┈┗┛

W.Shakes-Beer

if jesus walked on water and humans are 78% water does thatt mean if i walk on a person im 78% jesus?

jesus fúcking wept, thats what he did.

LeeHoffmann

T)(S)٠•
(B)(♥)(B).€ۣۜ●..€ۣۜ● ٠•
..(S)(T)...€ۣۜ●€ۣۜ●.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ٠•​
.......\.....€ۣۜ●.../.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ​٠•
........|/)..| €ۣۜ●.◆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ٠•
.....(\|/)...\/..//)˙·٠•●♥..♥♥..<{ ^ _ ^ }>.. zzz

^ @ King of Moo, what's all this stuff meant to be?

holystungun9

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

^ @ King of Moo, what's all this stuff meant to be?

looks like a cat to me.

spider guardian

Load of girls on about 'Poor old Schmeichal' last night - thought they were on about Peter

foxyboxer

T)(S)٠•
(B)(♥)(B).€ۣۜ●..€ۣۜ● ٠•
..(S)(T)...€ۣۜ●€ۣۜ●.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ٠•​
.......\.....€ۣۜ●.../.Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ​٠•
........|/)..| €ۣۜ●.◆Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ٠•
.....(\|/)...\/..//)˙·٠•●♥..♥♥..<{ ^ _ ^ }>.. zzz



Someone dreaming?

The King of Moo

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

^ @ King of Moo, what's all this stuff meant to be?

I think it's two flowers on the left, with some butterflies beside them and I think some manner of smiley on the right.

You might be able to see it better if you lean back: it looked smaller and more neatly-packed on facebook before I copied and pasted.

Andre80Johnson

Saw this today.

R.I.P *********, he passed away about 3 minutes ago. If you saw this & wouldn't care, stop reading. If you would go to my funeral "LIKE". If you would be sad or even cry comment with a heart "♥". - change the name and put this as your status & see who your "TRUE FRIENDS" are.

What the hell.