Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

orestes

Tetra wrote: »

Really?

Someone in America got off on a murder charge recently because of a facebook status update, it wouldn't surprise me if stuff like this actually started getting brought up in courtrooms very regularly in the near future. Statements of intent, examples of character, previous history between people related to the case, yada yada yada.

end of the road

Tetra wrote: »

my baby daddy number two is a fat bitch you lie and u kept my kids from me today for no reason your wrong them are my babies and you got the wrong one your big old baby sitter is supposed to be there while you work not while you run around and do whatever and yes i will say something cause them are my kids your leaving when your fat ass can and should be taken them with you you are just hurting my babies in the end bitch cause my kids love me and they always will trust that.yeah your car broke down my ass like i said your not just going to keep doing what the hell ever you want while you got my my kids flat out watch i bet now tomorrow im making phone calls on all you fake ass bitches I DON'T EVEN CARE NO MORE IM CALLING ALL YALL OUT ON ALL YOUR **** CAUSE IM A GOOD ASS MOM TO ALL MY KIDS AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN BUT YOU BITCHES I GOT ALL YOUR ASSES I TOLD YOU WHEN IT COMES TO MY KIDS DON'T **** WITH ME.NOW RUN TELL HIM HIS MOMMY HIS BROTHER IDGAF CAUSE THEY GOING TO FIND OUT ANY WAYS IM NOT PLAYING WITH NONE OF Y'ALL AND I KNOW WHAT THE HELL ALL YOU BITCHES DO CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS


^^ I saw this ^^

if their was ever a candidate for sterilization that would be it, to late now

coolhull

Baby daddy number two? There's so many that they have numbers instead of names?
And even after reading this I'm still not sure if this a man or a woman

Apanachi

coolhull wrote: »

but could it really be worse than Auschwitz in 1943?

Guess that depends on which side you were on...

MrStuffins

Tetra wrote: »

my baby daddy number two is a fat bitch you lie and u kept my kids from me today for no reason your wrong them are my babies and you got the wrong one your big old baby sitter is supposed to be there while you work not while you run around and do whatever and yes i will say something cause them are my kids your leaving when your fat ass can and should be taken them with you you are just hurting my babies in the end bitch cause my kids love me and they always will trust that.yeah your car broke down my ass like i said your not just going to keep doing what the hell ever you want while you got my my kids flat out watch i bet now tomorrow im making phone calls on all you fake ass bitches I DON'T EVEN CARE NO MORE IM CALLING ALL YALL OUT ON ALL YOUR **** CAUSE IM A GOOD ASS MOM TO ALL MY KIDS AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN BUT YOU BITCHES I GOT ALL YOUR ASSES I TOLD YOU WHEN IT COMES TO MY KIDS DON'T **** WITH ME.NOW RUN TELL HIM HIS MOMMY HIS BROTHER IDGAF CAUSE THEY GOING TO FIND OUT ANY WAYS IM NOT PLAYING WITH NONE OF Y'ALL AND I KNOW WHAT THE HELL ALL YOU BITCHES DO CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS


^^ I saw this ^^ :eek:

Are you Facebook friends with a Tyler Perry movie?

krudler

Tetra wrote: »

my baby daddy number two is a fat bitch you lie and u kept my kids from me today for no reason your wrong them are my babies and you got the wrong one your big old baby sitter is supposed to be there while you work not while you run around and do whatever and yes i will say something cause them are my kids your leaving when your fat ass can and should be taken them with you you are just hurting my babies in the end bitch cause my kids love me and they always will trust that.yeah your car broke down my ass like i said your not just going to keep doing what the hell ever you want while you got my my kids flat out watch i bet now tomorrow im making phone calls on all you fake ass bitches I DON'T EVEN CARE NO MORE IM CALLING ALL YALL OUT ON ALL YOUR **** CAUSE IM A GOOD ASS MOM TO ALL MY KIDS AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN BUT YOU BITCHES I GOT ALL YOUR ASSES I TOLD YOU WHEN IT COMES TO MY KIDS DON'T **** WITH ME.NOW RUN TELL HIM HIS MOMMY HIS BROTHER IDGAF CAUSE THEY GOING TO FIND OUT ANY WAYS IM NOT PLAYING WITH NONE OF Y'ALL AND I KNOW WHAT THE HELL ALL YOU BITCHES DO CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS


^^ I saw this ^^ :eek:

ain't nobody got time to read dat

cantdecide

"Part of an inviting job ad I just read:

"...an exclusive work space for ambitious .... co-founded in early 2011. We drink a lot of champagne, beer and strong cocktails. And we build robots and fly RC drones...""

krudler

"I'm starting a blog about funny stuff I say, if anyone wants to send me funny past updates I came out with I'll put them up!"


not one reply. talk about thankswhoring.

kunst nugget

krudler wrote: »

"I'm starting a blog about funny stuff I say, if anyone wants to send me funny past updates I came out with I'll put them up!"


not one reply. talk about thankswhoring.

That must be the most toolish update I think I've ever read.

What's the blog going to entail? His status updates with a little explanation underneath about why it's so amusing?

Friday 22 February:

My tomatoes are feeling a bit fruity!

Explanation: This is hilarious because most people think tomatoes are vegetables but they're not - they're Fruit! I totally crack myself up. I got whole month of these types of statuses lined up dealing with vegetables that are actually fruits so stay tuned. There'll be cucumbers, peas… all sorts of crazy stuff mixed in which veggy fruit type puns - It'll be a Luffa minute! Squash am I like!

krudler

kunst nugget wrote: »

That must be the most toolish update I think I've ever read.

the person who posted it is the epitome of facebook's worst qualities, nice person but between vaguebooking, uploading albums every other day (seriously she has about 5000+ pics on facebook) and posting wishywashy inspirational crap and love song quotes I think she just booked a ticket to defriendville, first class.

Gummy Panda

krudler wrote: »

the person who posted it is the epitome of facebook's worst qualities, nice person but between vaguebooking, uploading albums every other day (seriously she has about 5000+ pics on facebook) and posting wishywashy inspirational crap and love song quotes I think she just booked a ticket to defriendville, first class.

Is she hot?

kunst nugget

krudler wrote: »

the person who posted it is the epitome of facebook's worst qualities, nice person but between vaguebooking, uploading albums every other day (seriously she has about 5000+ pics on facebook) and posting wishywashy inspirational crap and love song quotes I think she just booked a ticket to defriendville, first class.

It's the inspiration pictures and quotes thing that piss me off the most. No offense but to anyone on here who might post that stuff but I reckon if there was a scientific study done on facebook I reckon they find a definite correlation between how many inspirational quotes you post and how much of a total loser you are.

And then there's the subsection of inspirational quotes and pictures that are cause specific (dogs, vegetarianism etc…) that some people latch on to and feel they have to share a new one everyday to show the world how good a person they are.

krudler

kunst nugget wrote: »

It's the inspiration pictures and quotes thing that piss me off the most. No offense but to anyone on here who might post that stuff but I reckon if there was a scientific study done on facebook I reckon they find a definite correlation between how many inspirational quotes you post and how much of a total loser you are.

And then there's the subsection of inspirational quotes and pictures that are cause specific (dogs, vegetarianism etc…) that some people latch on to and feel they have to share a new one everyday to show the world how good a person they are.

She's all about the "you dont deserve me at my best" crap, which is basically nonsense talk for I'm a psycho and you should put up with it. waiting for her prince and all that crap.

miamee

kunst nugget wrote: »

It's the inspiration pictures and quotes thing that piss me off the most. No offense but to anyone on here who might post that stuff but I reckon if there was a scientific study done on facebook I reckon they find a definite correlation between how many inspirational quotes you post and how much of a total loser you are.

And then there's the subsection of inspirational quotes and pictures that are cause specific (dogs, vegetarianism etc…) that some people latch on to and feel they have to share a new one everyday to show the world how good a person they are.

:pac: Oh these annoy me so much, they are the FB equivalent of chain letters, chain emails, etc. in my eyes. They are just taking up space and making me scroll more!

coolhull

kunst nugget wrote: »

That must be the most toolish update I think I've ever read.

What's the blog going to entail? His status updates with a little explanation underneath about why it's so amusing?

Friday 22 February:

My tomatoes are feeling a bit fruity!

Explanation: This is hilarious because most people think tomatoes are vegetables but they're not - they're Fruit! I totally crack myself up. I got whole month of these types of statuses lined up dealing with vegetables that are actually fruits so stay tuned. There'll be cucumbers, peas… all sorts of crazy stuff mixed in which veggy fruit type puns - It'll be a Luffa minute! Squash am I like!

And did nobody have a gun handy to shoot that gobsh1te?

coolhull

coolhull wrote: »

Baby daddy number two? There's so many that they have numbers instead of names?
And even after reading this I'm still not sure if this a man or a woman

I have to agree - I have no idea what that status update is about or whether they are male or female or what a "baby daddy #2" is

krudler

bluewolf wrote: »

I have to agree - I have no idea what that status update is about or whether they are male or female or what a "baby daddy #2" is

has more than one baby with different guys

im invisible

Heading to Granny's for her Hundred and Second Birthday..Yes 1 0 2 , craaaaazy shhtuff.
I told mam not to get it but their still going ahead with the bouncing castle..

daisybelle2008

Chavways wrote: »

ok lads 20 too day frist i want too thx evaeyone on facebook who whis me a happy birthday can i just thxs my flmmly who work so hard with me for the past 19 yers too when i was a babey i was like a ball and my mam and my dad did and my brothers and sisters i wold be lost with out my flmmly only for them i woud still be in that ball and i love my flmmly i set my life on goles and 1 of the goles was too go too colage and im in mary i and i love it and it was the work of my flmmly who got me there i have just a good life with my flmmly and frinds and and been a part of A TAME BRIGE CELTIC who are vary good to me and in 20 yers time i be still part of the birge celtic tame and that a fact so mam and dad and flmmly thxs u so much for the past 19 yeres u made my dermes come true and lads get rady for a big party in 300 and 65 day time the BIG 1 THE 21st I DO SOME SINNING THAT NITE LADS

When he says his flmmly 'worked' to get him into Colage, I imagine his mother slept with the Dean of Mary I, while he sat on the front porch rocking back and forth with leg braces on.

coolhull

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

When he says his flmmly 'worked' to get him into Colage, I imagine his mother slept with the Dean of Mary I, while he sat on the front porch rocking back and forth with leg braces on.

he should have stayed on the bloody porch!

MonkstownHoop

Gots me that Friday feelin yet again!! Sorry liver I lik u bt I lik vodka more!!!

Of all the words to spell incorrectly on Facebook, Like?

whataboutme

most irritating one i saw lately was a tool i used to go to school at 1 in d morning he posted to his status "there was i lying all cosy in my bed almost asleep when i get this urge to drop to the floor and do pushups. i did 20 wrecked now but feels good" i was like wtf? stay in bed dont b such a knob and if you afe going to be that kind of knob why post it on here!!

Amalgam

orestes wrote: »

Someone in America got off on a murder charge recently because of a facebook status update, it wouldn't surprise me if stuff like this actually started getting brought up in courtrooms very regularly in the near future. Statements of intent, examples of character, previous history between people related to the case, yada yada yada.

The amount of people killed because of Facebook status misunderstandings is depressing..

FreeFallin94

"Goin gettin dis tattoo on my boob x"


Really? REALLY?!

coolhull

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/575025/242398.PNG


That's reassuring....

orestes

coolhull wrote: »

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/575025/242398.PNG


That's reassuring....

Photographs are developed in a dark room with a red light, so either a beautiful picture is being prepared or you're a hooker.

Boombastic

I don't know if this has been posted but it's an inspirational story about Mary an 89 year old college student, that's as far as I read.

mackeire

Boombastic wrote: »

I don't know if this has been posted but it's an inspirational story about Mary an 89 year old college student, that's as far as I read.

she is doing a 4 year course and started when she was 19.
not very inspirational!

GalwayKiefer

"Wimmins tummy ache since 6am + hangover = not even funny."

Tetra

Tetra wrote: »

my baby daddy number two is a fat bitch you lie and u kept my kids from me today for no reason your wrong them are my babies and you got the wrong one your big old baby sitter is supposed to be there while you work not while you run around and do whatever and yes i will say something cause them are my kids your leaving when your fat ass can and should be taken them with you you are just hurting my babies in the end bitch cause my kids love me and they always will trust that.yeah your car broke down my ass like i said your not just going to keep doing what the hell ever you want while you got my my kids flat out watch i bet now tomorrow im making phone calls on all you fake ass bitches I DON'T EVEN CARE NO MORE IM CALLING ALL YALL OUT ON ALL YOUR **** CAUSE IM A GOOD ASS MOM TO ALL MY KIDS AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN BUT YOU BITCHES I GOT ALL YOUR ASSES I TOLD YOU WHEN IT COMES TO MY KIDS DON'T **** WITH ME.NOW RUN TELL HIM HIS MOMMY HIS BROTHER IDGAF CAUSE THEY GOING TO FIND OUT ANY WAYS IM NOT PLAYING WITH NONE OF Y'ALL AND I KNOW WHAT THE HELL ALL YOU BITCHES DO CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS


^^ I saw this ^^ :eek:

Sounds like every status update from my uneducated, stupid, selfish, melodramatic, white trash, pathetic American cousins. Forgive the snobbery. If they're not fighting with their siblings/mother over status updates, they're either giving out about their baby daddies or begging them to take them back, depending on the day. Today I saw this gem from my cousin's ex, who is currently in prison for attacking her after he found out she was cheating on him with his brother:

********** (cousin's name) IM SO SORRY ABT HOW I TRETED U IN D PAST. U DESERV SO MUCH BETTER PRINCESS. WHEN I GET OUTTA JAIL UR D 1ST PERSON IMA GO SEE. PLS DONT FORGET ABOUT ME ANGEL. GIVE ***** AND ***** (cousin's kids' names) HUGZ N KISSES FROM ME. LOVE U FOREVA XXX

I just despair.