Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Grayson

http://www.facebook.com/eBayJobs

Thanks for the enquires, We will not be posting the new Pope role here. He did not work at the Paypal office.
Try the Papal office

knucklehead6

Grayson wrote: »

http://www.facebook.com/eBayJobs

that one's actually not bad!!

LizT

"Pancake Tuesday tomorrow... there's a few tossers in this town that should be good at making them"

u_c_thesecond

kunst nugget wrote: »

When I read your reply, in my mind I hear the voice of a girl with a thick midlands accent. It's very shrill.

Why thank u ... i think

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

also, if anyone posts up saying "I've just had a friend cull, if you see this you have made it through" they get removed too. I'm almost 30, I've no time for that kind of crap.

People like that need a slap- just looking for attention

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

also, how can something hit you "like a load" - sure that could be a load of feathers or marshmallows.

cum

westies4ever wrote: »

'David Attenborough should've been shot years ago. Who wants to watch stupid animals anyway'

Hmmm lets see - 'David Attenborough or Tallifornia/geordie shore/ jersey shore etc

I know which id pick- and the scary part is the actual animals in the doc behave better than the tanned twits on those other shows.
.

skirtgirl wrote: »

ri ppl if a fela pokes ya on fb does e lyk u ye r na well ancerza??????????

That popped up on my newsfeed.

If a fella pokes you on facebook does he look like your wan in Antartica??? Um I dont know!

AnonoBoy wrote: »

"They even hug black things?"

What does that mean?

It means their racist and just let it out lol

LizT wrote: »

"****ing brits come over ere nd rob our glory"

Please tell me there was a reply that said

Um wernt they over here 800 years ago stealing too

:D:D

mackg

On this day millunz of years ago a fella went out into the desert on a 40 day peyote bender that would change the world forever.

wnolan1992

mackg wrote: »

I LOL'd.

mackeire

The end of this one actually made me laugh:


Valentines day who made up this sh1t, f*cking most pointless day ever only putting more stress on people,and for the other poor sods still living at home wit the mother aged 25 still watching wrestling that cant even get the leg over depressed of there tits its just rubbing salt into the wounds....

Whatsernamex33

"Think every1 gets a fraga on a sunday t try sort der hang over haha!"


12 likes and 12 comments later, and I still don't know what a 'fraga' is. Anyone care to enlighten me?

knucklehead6

Whatsernamex33 wrote: »

"Think every1 gets a fraga on a sunday t try sort der hang over haha!"


12 likes and 12 comments later, and I still don't know what a 'fraga' is. Anyone care to enlighten me?

An Italian fragmentation grenade?

maximoose

Bed# warm# dark knight rises# sleepy

1. He is using hashtags incorrectly
2. He is using hashtags on Facebook
3. The hashtags are on the wrong f*cking side

Idiot.

mackeire

The attention seekers are out in force today!!

Sometimes I think the world would be better off without me!

and



and

urghh, my life sucks


The first response under each of them was "Wats up hun, mail me x".

I think the nosey ones are just as bad as the attention seekers!!

dan1895

mackeire wrote: »

The attention seekers are out in force today!!

Sometimes I think the world would be better off without me!

and



and

urghh, my life sucks


The first response under each of them was "Wats up hun, mail me x".

I think the nosey ones are just as bad as the attention seekers!!

"what's wrong?"

"Don't want to talk about it"

wnolan1992

No buying flowers and ****= More money for parts yuuuurt

I love how people feel the need to tell everyone that they're too cool for Valentines Day. :rolleyes:

kunst nugget

dan1895 wrote: »

"what's wrong?"

"Don't want to talk about it"

PM me. I don't want to say anything here!

And I only found out that this phenomenon has a name: Vaguebooking!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vaguebooking

And it really is the most annoying thing to see on your wall. It's like someone saying 'I really need to try and milk as much as I can out of even the most mundane dramas in my life but if I just come out with it I'll look like a total dick to strangers. No, it's much better that I leave up something vague so that my true friends will reply to so I can tell them by PM how really hard it was running out of toilet paper after Tesco closed. And if my non true friends find these posts tantalising and mysterious - well, that's just the icing on the cake!'

Tetra

"See you in Shannon sista!"


I don't get annoyed easily, but I can't stand "sista"...makes me see red :mad:

HandsomeDivil

Girl 1: Dis Is The Most Heart Breaking Valentines Ever
Share
2 people like this.

Boy 1: why?
14 minutes ago

Girl 1: Dont realy wanna talk about it hrts too mch
12 minutes ago via mobile

Girl 2: same
12 minutes ago · 1

Girl 1: Whats up wit u chick?
11 minutes ago via mobile

Boy 1: Oh dear, im sorry.... hope you are not on your own and have atleast someone to be with today. Hate it when people are sad... xx
11 minutes ago

Girl 1: Ya im on my own at home alone crying.... ****ing great
10 minutes ago via mobile

Girl 2: just tings bbe xxxxxxxxx
10 minutes ago

Girl 1: Same here xxxxxxxx
10 minutes ago via mobile · 1

Boy 1: Oh.... ****, well, if its any consolation, im on my own too, but I really hope you feel better soon xx
9 minutes ago

Boy 2: hope u will be ok ur not the only one alone for Valentines Day
9 minutes ago

Girl 1: Ya but im in love and he just keeps on hurting me an i nt no what to do tbh
7 minutes ago via mobile

Girl 2: bbe iv been threw that with 3yr it aint worth it get rid ov em before u are hurt worse hun trust me i was xxxxxxxx
7 minutes ago

Girl 1: oh girl im so confused like x x x x x x x x x x x
See Translation
5 minutes ago via mobile

Girl 1: oh girl im so confused like x x x x x x x x x x x
See Translation
5 minutes ago via mobile

Boy 2: look u ar a lovely girl dnt be put down for anyway keep ur head up and smile leave the fast and move to the future better things in the sea there is other boys out there that would be mad to be with a girl like u
4 minutes ago

Girl 2: if i wer u id get rid ov em trst me bbe xxxxxxx
4 minutes ago

Boy 1: Its a difficult one, because there are 2 answers, and each one are at the different end of the scale...... U either stay with him, becuase you love him, or you leave him and find someone else who wont hurt you......... I would lean towards the last one tbh...... you may be in love, but girl, why would you want to be in love with someone who hurts you? I can understand that love can prevent you from makiong certain decisions, but please be strong and think about if you can put up with this for the rest of your life? or even for another year? :-S
4 minutes ago · 1

Girl 1: .. i love em too much and itd kil me xxxxxxxxx
3 minutes ago via mobile

Girl 2: i was the same i was goin with em for 3yr and i had ta for my own sake janoxxxxxx
2 minutes ago

Boy 2: u have to make big decision if he is hurting u move on u dnt need him
2 minutes ago

Girl 1: I realy dont no i messed up xxxxxxx
A few seconds ago via mobile

Girl 2: i was the exact same hun xxxxxxxxxxx
A few seconds ago · 1

Girl 2: ur better off single jano that xxxxxxxx
A few seconds ago

Boy 3: Think of it this way (Girl 1), You're free. And whoever broke your heart will be kicking themselves to see the next fella you pull. I know it hurts now but things do get better. It sucks what going through, But every cloud has a silver lining. (hugs).
2 minutes ago via mobile

Girl 1: No i cant i need em hes perfect yono i cnt loose em
about a minute ago via mobile ·



Jesus Christ. I like how at one stage facebook actually offers a translation!

Edit: I've just looked through this girl's page and it's full of this. Another example:

Girl 1: Someone please chat me , I really need to talk to someone riht now
Share
6 people like this.

Boy 1: What's up? X
Yesterday at 17:11 via mobile

Boy 2: Whats wrong?
Yesterday at 17:30 via mobile

Girl 1: Nothing k!
Yesterday at 17:36 via mobile

Boy 2: Ok
Yesterday at 17:45 via mobile

Boy 2: If u dnt like me, you can always delete me ya know...
Yesterday at 17:46 via mobile

Crooked Jack

Holy sufferin' Jesus that is depressing

coolhull

King Herod definitely had the right solution, just that he didn't go far enough

wnolan1992

HandsomeDivil wrote: »

Girl 1: oh girl im so confused like x x x x x x x x x x x
See Translation
5 minutes ago via mobile

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Oh... oh lord...

Words cannot describe how happy that's made me. :pac:

Lollipops23

HandsomeDivil wrote: »

Girl 1: Dis Is The Most Heart Breaking Valentines Ever
Share
2 people like this.

Boy 1: why?
14 minutes ago

Girl 1: Dont realy wanna talk about it hrts too mch
12 minutes ago via mobile

Oh sweet lucifer....

These people make me ashamed of my gender....

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/547199/241122.jpg

Boombastic

Girl 2: bbe iv been threw that with 3yr it aint worth it get rid ov em before u are hurt worse hun trust me i was xxxxxxxx

I'll probably regret asking but what is bbe?
best before end??

Culleeo

Boombastic wrote: »

I'll probably regret asking but what is bbe?
best before end??

Babe, I think.

coolhull

Girl 1: Someone please chat me , I really need to talk to someone riht now


I thought she said she ''dont want to tlk abou it, it hrts too mch''

A woman's prerogative to change her mind, I guess....

lolli

Someone I went to school 11 years with just Pm'd me could I mind her daughter for a few days in August because her brother is getting married. She also informed me that shes only on the dole so she could only afford to pay me €50 and i'd have to collect the child from her house and drop her back a few days later. I actually sat staring at the screen in disbelief for a few minutes.

I don't think I ever spoke to her in school, she just randomly added me a while ago.

Canis Lupus

lolli wrote: »

Someone I went to school 11 years with just Pm'd me could I mind her daughter for a few days in August because her brother is getting married. She also informed me that shes only on the dole so she could only afford to pay me €50 and i'd have to collect the child from her house and drop her back a few days later. I actually sat staring at the screen in disbelief for a few minutes.

I don't think I ever spoke to her in school, she just randomly added me a while ago.

Reply back along the lines of how pretty her daughter is and how you'll enjoy having a sleepover where you'll both be in nighties having pillow fights with your partner watching....

batistuta9

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Reply back along the lines of how pretty her daughter is and how you'll enjoy having a sleepover where you'll both be in nighties having pillow fights with your partner watching....

or don't

unless she wants her and her boyfriend to become known as peadophiles

Kotek Besar

batistuta9 wrote: »

or don't

unless she wants her and her boyfriend to become known as peadophiles

Meh. Hype. Modern human victimisation. Look at poor Gary Glitter, everyone takes the word of corrupt Vietnamese officials and desperately poor villagers as gospel, yet the glam-rock superstar has never been tried in an English court.

summerskin

Kotek Besar wrote: »

Meh. Hype. Modern human victimisation. Look at poor Gary Glitter, everyone takes the word of corrupt Vietnamese officials and desperately poor villagers as gospel, yet the glam-rock superstar has never been tried in an English court.

are you fúcking kidding????

"In 1999, Glitter was sentenced to four months' imprisonment and listed as a sex offender in the UK following conviction for downloading thousands of items of child pornography"

sumsar

summerskin wrote: »

are you fúcking kidding????

"In 1999, Glitter was sentenced to four months' imprisonment and listed as a sex offender in the UK following conviction for downloading thousands of items of child pornography"

Ah you're a fan of humour I see.