The Gentlemen's Compendium - General Man Tips

FrankGrimes

Brilliant thread.

Tip: the internet, and internet forums in particular, are your friend. People are surprisingly helpful on internet forums and there's info and answers to pretty much every problem out there on the web so learning to leverage the full power of the web is now an essential skill. Almost by definition, everyone on here knows this....so it's more for when this guide makes it to print

HigginsJ

Learn to cook.

You dont need to be Gordon Ramsey but learn to cook 3 dishes properly (dont burn food, you or the house) Great way to earn brownie points from your current/potential partner.

Pasta Carbonara - http://www.greatfood.ie/item_display.asp?cde=2&id=309

Rack Of Lamb -http://www.bordbia.ie/aboutfood/recipes/lamb/pages/roastracklamb.aspx

Chicken - http://www.bordbia.ie/aboutfood/recipes/chicken/pages/pan-friedchickenwithwalnutlemondressing.aspx

zuroph

If you have a leak somewhere, do not try to solve the problem with MORE silicone. regular stuff wont cure in an already wet area, and sometimes its HOW the stuff is applied is causing the problem in the first place.

Especially true for shower doors, only seal around the outside edge. water gets into the frame, no silicone on the inside allows it to drain back into tray. if that drainage is blocked, the thing fills with stagnant water then drains out higher up, murphys law on the outside.

syklops

There was a great book, not too unlike what we are trying to do here, called something like "100 things a bright boy should know".

It had a lot of things we have had here, like wiring a plug and so on, but it also had a section on wine. I dont have the book to hand, but will try to commit what I remember here.

When going out for dinner with a lady, you should always order a bottle of wine. Here are some tips to avoid the many pitfalls when it comes to choosing wine.

White wine is chilled, Red wine is about room temperature. Avoid the faux pas of ordering Red wine and then asking can they bring a bucket for it.

Never ask for the house red, it is often some cheap plonk.*

When you get the wine list, do not order the cheapest one on the list. Push the boat out and spend a few extra euro. She may never notice, but the waiter might see that you have some kind of clue as to what you are doing, and be more vigilant about ensuring you are treated well.

It is generally accepted you have red wine for meat and white for fish and seafood(but not always), so use that rule when in doubt. When unsure which wine to select, ask! Many good waiters, as well as wanting to impress you a little with their knowledge will also appreciate you for trying to make the right choice, which leads back into them seeing you have a good time.

When the waiter shows you the bottle, take a second to look at the front, e.g. the name and the year. Be sure they are what you ordered. Mistakes happen all the time, and the 98 Merlot might have cost 35 quid, but the 99 may cost a good bit more and be unsuited to the meal as well.

After opening, the waiter will normally give you the cork. Make sure it is moist at one end, not all dry and cracked. This could mean the bottle has been stood for a long period of time potentially resulting in bad wine.

Next the waiter will pour a small amount into a glass for you to taste. Take a deep sniff, and look for any strong odours. Any sign of vinegar or rotten eggs and it is a bad bottle. If you think it smells funny, dont taste it. Ask your waiter to smell it. If there is something wrong the waiter will 9 times out of 10 agree and bring another bottle. The reason you dont taste the wine, is if you suspect something is wrong is it will ruin your palette, and could ruin the meal for you.

If it smelt ok to you, take a small sip, and see what you think. Assuming it tastes ok, nod or say "Thats fine", and the waiter will pour your partner's glass, and then top up yours.

Thats all I can think of for now. Though, more than one chef frequents this board so I am sure one will correct any mistakes I have made.

*Though I dont know, my theory being, that if you were too lazy to ask for a type of wine, then you will be too lazy to cause a fuss. This is just my theory, but it makes sense. If I went into a pub and asked for stout, rather than Guinness, I would half expect to get a bottle of old Murphys they are trying to get rid of, rather than a fresh pint of draught.

slowburner

Oh and learn to sew!
Being a gentleman, your clothes will of course be hand stitched and will last many years if you learn how to patch them, should the need arise.

syklops

slowburner wrote: »

Oh and learn to sew!
Being a gentleman, your clothes will of course be hand stitched and will last many years if you learn how to patch them, should the need arise.

No offence, but I dont think this should be a list of things a man should know, otherwise it will turn into a lists thread, and get boring. Feel free to give us a crash course in sewing....

Otis Driftwood

syklops wrote: »

No offence, but I dont think this should be a list of things a man should know, otherwise it will turn into a lists thread, and get boring. Feel free to give us a crash course in sewing....

Agreed and with that being said,how to sew on a button.Can be very important and you should always carry a travel sewing kit in your overnight bag when going to places that you need to wear shirts be it a wedding,business trip or where ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrSs_DiJ-ZA

slowburner

syklops wrote: »

No offence, but I dont think this should be a list of things a man should know, otherwise it will turn into a lists thread, and get boring. Feel free to give us a crash course in sewing....

None taken.

enfield

When you meet someone for the first time, be they male, female, old or young, first of all totally relax, look them straight in the eye,smile, offer your handshake and say hello, how are you? and wait for a reply. When shaking hands, avoid the 'cup' handshake where there is a hollow between the palms, that shows insincerity and a wish to avoid shaking hands.
Again, relax and say whatever you need to say, again relax and listen to what they say and don't interrupt. If they say something you disagree with say, "I understand" that way its neither "I agree or I disagree". When listening you can say "I understand" or "OK" as much as you like, as it does not mean "I agree or I disagree".
When its time to go, offer s firm handshake, look them straight in the eye, relax and say something pleasant like t"hanks for your time, I appreciate it".
Now go and try this in any situation and you will reap the dividends, the main this is immediately relax when meeting people and try a smile. Relax is the key.
Cheers.
Tom

SuiteCheex

You'd be amazed at how doing the Simplex crossword in the Irish Times will add to your vocabulary. As we know, a true gent is a loquacious and erudite fellow.

You learn all sorts of random things from going the Simplex. It recently taught me that Castor and Pollux are in fact the Gemini twins.......and there I was thinking they were the names of Nic Cage and his brother in Face/Off!! Not something you throw into an everyday conversation but might come in handy at a pub quiz.

I've been doing the Simplex for years and have avoided the Crosaire believing that it was the was the crossword for the older, more discerning and learned gent. But at the tender age of 32 I thought it was time to attain the ultimate skill of a true gent

I've been attempting the Crosaire for a couple of months and am on the cusp of getting my first full completion. Apparently it can take years to crack the codes to the cryptic crossward, but I attribute my expedited learning curve to this guy http://www.crosaire.paxient.com/ who has been teaching me the tricks of the trade. Pretty soon I'll be on the DART trying to be as obnoxious as Reggie Perrin.

syklops

When writing paragraphs and punctuation is very important.

chickendinner

syklops wrote: »

When writing paragraphs and punctuation is very important.

You missed a comma, or is that a little joke?

syklops

chickendinner wrote: »

You missed a comma, or is that a little joke?

It was a little joke. The idea was my post would come in under enfiled's which while very informative, is a little painful to read. It was a poor attempt at humour, I apologise. Please, oh god, please, let us not go into a grammar-nazism tangent!

Ebbs

Suncream is NOT JUST FOR WOMEN.

Its not some fancy lotion to help you go brown to look like a glamour model, its a fancy lotion that helps you not get skin cancer.

Apply to any exposed skin, especially if you plan on basking in this lovely sunshine we're having.

Einstein

CPR + AED use.

Ideally people should be trained in CPR, but sometimes we dont have the time / money to get certified.

But it's not that hard.

If it comes to a stage where somebody is unresponsive, and by all accounts not breathing, chest compressions can be done. New CPR guidelines state that checking for breathing and administering initial rescue breaths can be bypassed if the helper is not confident or trained in CPR. This is exactly what the EMS will advise you to do over the phone.

Draw an imaginary line between the nipples and aim for the centre of the chest.
Push down, hard and fast. Ideally looking for at least 100 compressions per minute, but making sure to allow the chest to rise back to its normal position to allow the heart chambers to fill with blood.

Don't be afraid of pushing too deep. Bear in mind what you're doing. You need to press down hard enough, so that you squeeze the heart with enough force to pump the blood to the brain.

How hard do you think you'd have to squeeze it, if you held it in your hand? So no light feathery compressions. Push hard and push fast.

Heres a site to give some more info.

http://handsonlycpr.org/

AED stands for "Automated External Defib" and so simple to use, but not realistically something that can be taught on a forum, but I'll add the following "AED for dummies."

Turn it on.
Place the pads on the BARE chest (man, woman, child - it doesn't matter, it MUST be bare chest).
There is a diagram on all pads indicating where they should be placed.
Make sure the pads are connected to the machine, stand back and let the AED do its thing.

Follow the prompts ensuring NOBODY is touching the patient at any stage. It will go through the motions, and if required, prompt you to press the shock button. An AED won't let you shock someone unless it detects a shockable heart rhythm, so don't worry about that.

AED's are more and more common in public areas. Airports, shopping centres, leisure centres, gyms etc.

Info on AED's etc can be found here.

http://www.aed.ie

Don't forget. If someone is unresponsive and not breathing, they cant be any worse off, so you cant really do any more damage.

And don't be afraid of liability or legal implications etc.
There's no liability issues to worry about.

Obviously this is an overview and it can go into much more detail.

CPR/AED courses can be completed in as little as 3-4 hours.

5000 people in Ireland die every year due to Sudden Cardiac Death. That's 14 people a day.

Be nice knowing that you could help someone eh?

Hope some of you find this somewhat useful

Dimitri

On the shower tray shower door theme remember when your sealing them to put weight onto the tray, 80kgs hopping in and out every morning will cause movement, seal with this in mind especially if the tray is raised on legs.

Oh and never ever ever block a vent if you have double glazed windows.

OldGoat

Einstein wrote: »

CPR + AED use.


Push down, hard and fast. Ideally looking for at least 100 compressions per minute, but making sure to allow the chest to rise back to its normal position to allow the heart chambers to fill with blood.

When I was training for this I found a particular song kept cropping up in mind in time with my compressions. If I ever need to time them again I just go with...
"Whether you're a brother
Or whether you're a mother,
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin'
And ev'rybody shakin'
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Stayin' alive.
Stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Stayin' alive. "

Neonjack

Shaving properly. It should be simple but a lot of guys get it wrong.

1. The water should be as hot as you can bear it. It opens the pores and makes shaving easier.

2. Wet your beard thoroughly.

3. Use a good moisturising shave cream. Work it well into your beard, creating a lather. Don't just slap it on and start scraping.

4. Always shave with the grain of your beard, using the longest stroke possible.

5. Rinse your razor often as you shave. Tap it against the sink if you need to remove clogged hairs. They'll just scrape your skin and cause a rash.

6. As soon as you finish, use an after shave balm, preferably a moisturising one.

7. Wait 10 minutes or so before putting on cologne or aftershave. This gives your pores a chance to close up so the aftershave won't sting or burn.



Edit - Great thread.

D'Agger

Neonjack wrote: »

Shaving properly. It should be simple but a lot of guys get it wrong.

1. The water should be as hot as you can bear it. It opens the pores and makes shaving easier.

2. Wet your beard thoroughly.

3. Use a good moisturising shave cream. Work it well into your beard, creating a lather. Don't just slap it on and start scraping.

4. Always shave with the grain of your beard, using the longest stroke possible.

5. Rinse your razor often as you shave. Tap it against the sink if you need to remove clogged hairs. They'll just scrape your skin and cause a rash.

6. As soon as you finish, use an after shave balm, preferably a moisturising one.

7. Wait 10 minutes or so before putting on cologne or aftershave. This gives your pores a chance to close up so the aftershave won't sting or burn.



Edit - Great thread.

Just another point on this

I was told before that as soon as you've finished shaving and before you put on the aftershave balm - splash your face with cold water to help close your pores and reduce redness etc.

jme2010

Regarding the "bedroom".

Remove the selafane wrapper from a box of condoms before starting foreplay.

All the romance could go out the window as she waits impatiently while you wrestle the box in your teeth.

MadsL

Just to add to the shaving post above;

Consider watching the video below and understand why more blades in your razor are not giving you a comfortable shave (not to mention the tons of plastic dumped into landfill)

If your father didn't teach you to shave, now is the time to learn how to shave - not just buy a razor because "It's the best a man can get" - trust me, it really isn't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufG1dPmVo8Q

If a straight razor floats your boat...this video captures the mood!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK3I1utxgNM

and this one actually teaches you how to do it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jvu1F4f7bdQ

MadsL

Slightly related mantip;

How to sharpen a knife

http://www.i4at.org/lib2/knife.htm

..don't try sharpening razors this way though please...

18AD

Kegel exercises. These are great for many reasons.
http://www.kegelexercisesformen.com/kegel_exercises_for_men.html

And just for fun, how to juggle:
http://homepage.mac.com/abramr/juggling/tutorial/category/tricks/cascadelearning.html

MadsL

Not my words - see link below; basic hierarchy to consider:

1. A totally machine made, off-the-peg suit.

These cost around £100 to £600. The production systems for these is so slick, a suit is literally made in minutes. My first boss, Mike Wigglesworth of Redmayne once very kindly took me to visit a clothing factory to witness this mechanization. What sticks in my mind the most about that day, apart from the disconcerting efficiency of the machines, was the fact that designer-label brands were coming off the same production line as the “apparently” far less exclusive makes, such as Marks & Spencer [For the money, the British high street retailer, Marks & Spencer makes as good a suit as anyone. I rate them highly].

With machine-made, all manufacturers have pattern designers who create a basic pattern which, in “their” interpretation, would fit most people. So what you’ve got to do is be guided by the fit and the feel of a jacket around the neck and shoulders. Make this your priority.

If you’re in-between sizes, get the larger size and pay a high street alteration tailor £20-£30 to have it taken in or whatever. Don’t fool yourself that just because it’s a Hugo Boss or Armani it’s a better fit than than the Marks & Spencer. Doesn’t work that way. Forget the cost, just be honest with yourself. Like I said, pay attention round the neck and shoulders.

2. Made-to-measure.

Not to be confused with “bespoke”. What you’re getting is the same machine-made as Number One, but the basic pattern will have slight alterations made at the factory to improve the overall fit. Expect to pay anywhere between £450 to £800. You will also get more possibilities to personalize the suit, pocket details, style etc.

Bear in mind the guy who measures you may only have been in the job for a few weeks, or even a few hours. He’s only running a tape around you and ticking style boxes on the order form. So don’t expect miracles.

There are high street chains that offer this service, and even proper tailors as well. A.J. Hewitt, an excellent tailor, is a good example. The principals, Tony Hewitt and Ravi Tailor (yes, his real name) offer true bespoke that’s up there with the best. However they also offer made-to-measure. This in no way compromises their bespoke suits, they’re just simply allowing their customers the option of only climbing halfway up the sartorial ladder.

Ultimately with made-to-measure, your suit is at the mercy of the manufacturer. But at least with having an experienced cutter like Tony or Ravi to measure you, there’s far less chance of disappointment.

3. Hand Made Off-the-peg.

These are made by hand, and yes, the quality is generally very high. But it is still an assembly line. It’s just using humans instead of machines, cutting from generic, standardised patterns, not your own individual measurements.

Yes, the button holes will be hand-sewn, just like “bespoke”. Yes, your coat will be made with a “floating” canvas, just like bespoke. But the assembly line will still be cranking out twenty five “Size 40s” in a single shift, unlike bespoke.

That being said, it’s still quality stuff. And you can order the suit in the morning, and be wearing it by the afternoon. The fit won’t be half bad, either.

[DISCLAIMER:] This area is of personal interest to me as I have recently finished designing the ready-to-wear suits of Reuben Alexander. I had made bespoke for the owners of Reuben’s for several years. Then one day they phoned me up and said they wanted to put the same soft look as my bespoke into a ready-to-wear. The rest is history.

Their new shop has recently opened in central London. At around £1000 Reuben’s is one of the best. I’m not saying you’ll like them (not everybody likes me, either), but they’re definitely worth a look.

In this category, there’s quite a good selection out there- Chester Barrie, Brioni or Oxxford Clothes etc. These are good clothes, ranging from around £1000, up to £3000.

Frankly, I think the expensive end of this category is asking a lot of money for something that comes off an assembly line. I’m really not convinced it’s money well spent. These companies also do a form of bespoke, which involves things being sent away to base manufacturers. Again, for that kind of money, I really don’t think it’s personal enough.

4. True “Bespoke”.

Congratulations. You’ve arrived. The highest rung on the ladder. Keep reading English Cut and I’ll tell you all about it, or for instant gratification, go read my “How To Pick A Bespoke Tailor”

http://www.englishcut.com/2005/01/27/if-you-cant-afford-bespoke/

Salty

From a female point of view - brilliant thread:)

Just wondering, do any of you know what is right regarding men and socks? What colours etc. are acceptable? The only socks my boyfriend wears are white and grey, and most of the time they look fairly dodgy!

Any info? I'm sure it would be something useful for all men!:P

syklops

_meehan_ wrote: »

From a female point of view - brilliant thread:)

Just wondering, do any of you know what is right regarding men and socks? What colours etc. are acceptable? The only socks my boyfriend wears are white and grey, and most of the time they look fairly dodgy!

Any info? I'm sure it would be something useful for all men!:P

For me its black cotton "fresh feet" socks that you get in dunnes 6 for 6 quid or there abouts. That way there is no pairing of socks because they are all black. I personally dont like how white socks look, but we all have our own preferences. That said, I really dont like how grey socks look.

keane2097

_meehan_ wrote: »

From a female point of view - brilliant thread:)

Just wondering, do any of you know what is right regarding men and socks? What colours etc. are acceptable? The only socks my boyfriend wears are white and grey, and most of the time they look fairly dodgy!

Any info? I'm sure it would be something useful for all men!:P

http://mensfashion.about.com/od/wardrobebasics/a/6rules.htm wrote:

Socks: The more official rule on socks is that they should match the color of your pants, though preferably not the exact same shade unless, of course, you are wearing black in which case it's okay. However, I personally like to wear socks with patterns, such as stripes in various colors. But I do try to match my socks with my pants and shoes. To quote Glenn O'Brien from GQ magazine, ". . .you will ultimately realize that beyond the valley of rules rises the mountain of aesthetics, the peak of which (if there is one) is always shrouded in beautiful clouds of various hues, many of them resembling certain of my more unusually hued socks."

Note: Although it should be obvious, white socks should be reserved for the gym.

I'd pretty much go along with the above personally.

White socks are an absolute no-no outside of the gym as it says above.

Otis Driftwood

_meehan_ wrote: »

From a female point of view - brilliant thread:)

Just wondering, do any of you know what is right regarding men and socks? What colours etc. are acceptable? The only socks my boyfriend wears are white and grey, and most of the time they look fairly dodgy!

Any info? I'm sure it would be something useful for all men!:P

White socks are only acceptable if they are toweling ie sports socks and only if they are worn while wearing sporting attire like trainers or football boots,otherwise it is unacceptable.

I usually notice at least one person on a night out that is wearing white socks with a nice pair of shoes.Its just all kinds of wrong.

As for what else is acceptable,it depends on the colour of the clothes/shoes been worn at the time.As Syklops said above,plain black ones are usually a winner.

MadsL

General rule of thumb, several shades darker than the trouser. The same general colour can also be ok ie grey sock with a grey flannel (some detail is nice if you are doing this eg: an argyll sock)

So, black trouser = black socks always.
Grey = darker shade of grey or black socks.
Tan = darker tan or brown sock
Brown = dark brown (never black)
Blue = Navy, just about get away with black socks if dark blue or navy trouser

Red socks I'm not even gonna get into but can work with matching braces

Kilt = white or cream knee length woollen socks with formal shoes, or casually any boot sock work rolled down in a natural shade worn with natural shade boots. Black with Balck boots could also work depending on the tartan.


[Edit]
Loafers = no socks

A better rule of thumb, buy the socks to match your shoes - since the shoe matches the trouser.

Shorts I still havent figured out. Especially Converse with shorts

[/Edit]

Salty

MadsL wrote: »

General rule of thumb, several shades darker than the trouser. The same general colour can also be ok ie grey sock with a grey flannel (some detail is nice if you are doing this eg: an argyll sock)

So, black trouser = black socks always.
Grey = darker shade of grey or black socks.
Tan = darker tan or brown sock
Brown = dark brown (never black)
Blue = Navy, just about get away with black socks if dark blue or navy trouser

Red socks I'm not even gonna get into but can work with matching braces

Kilt = white or cream knee length woollen socks with formal shoes, or casually any boot sock work rolled down in a natural shade worn with natural shade boots. Black with Balck boots could also work depending on the tartan.

Any advice on socks with jeans?:)