The Gentlemen's Compendium - General Man Tips

mfceiling

Will wrote: »

Manners, they are free and get you so much more in return and it makes you feel good. Says a lot about a person in my books.

This cannot be emphasised enough.

Saying please and thank you should be as natural as breathing.
Even if someone does not say either to you, just say it anyway. It says a lot more about you than them.
Thank you for reading this....

stoneill

Learn the difference between Bread Soda and Soda Bread.

P.C.

OldGoat wrote: »

Iron a dress shirt (That is a proper shirt with sleeves, cuffs and collars).
For first-timers using the iron the very best method is to use the wife (gf/mammy) as an instructor. Make her a cuppa and ask her to show you how it's done. After that you simply have to improve on what they showed you as you all know wimminz can't use power tools properly and an iron IS a power tool.

For those who don't have access to an instructor lets start at the beginning.
You'll need the following:
Shirts.
Spray starch.
Water.
Ironing board.
Iron.
Extension lead.
Beer.

Shirts come in many different materials, cottons, silk, polyester, poly-cotton, nylon, rayon, linen...It's useful to know what your shirt is made of as the different materials require different heat settings. Luckily there is a handy little label stitched into the majority of shirts telling you what the shirt is made from. Read the label. If you are doing a few shirts of different materials then organise them by heat required, coolest first (silks) through cottons and up to linens (hawt!). Shirts should be damp when ironing, it makes life easier. I steal a houseplant mist spray thingy and give 'em a good squirt then ball them up together for 10 minutes just to damp 'em down.

Spray starch is a bit old fashioned but incredibly useful item to add a little stiffness to your shirt keeping that 'just ironed' look for longer.
Water for the iron and for damping your shirts.

Ironing boards are custom made flat collapsible boards with a softish covering, tapered at one end and having a heat resistant pad at the other. They are at their maximum extension a foot to low and two foot too short. They are stupidly designed. Some carry a little miniature iron board with them for ironing collars. It too is stupid and useless. An old blanket on a solid kitchen table is just as good.

Irons are the business! These delicious power tools have a myriad of uses from cracking walnuts or removing stubborn wallpaper to doorstops to convenient weights for compressing two bits of glued wood together while the glue goes off. Brilliant things altogether. Used one as a hammer one, did the job but not as efficiently as a good hammer would have done.
Old fashioned irons used to be heated over an open fire. You'll still find them adorning the shelves of 'Oirish Pubs' whenever you go abroad. Electric irons became fashionable and then technology went mad and 'Steam Iron' are what we all use these days. The perforated sole of the iron heats up electrically and steam from a small water reservoir jets through the perforations. Steam is good for ironing as it relaxes the fibre threads.

Extension leads are essential to get the iron and board in front of the telly. Ironing is dull but you can always cast an eye on 'Movies for Men' just to keep a little sanity during the process.

Beer. 'nuff said.

There are two different approaches to ironing. Some like the once a day every day approach where they use the iron on a single shirt every morning. Other prefer the bulk approach, 2 dozen shirts at a go to get you through a fortnight/month.

OK, here we go - at last. As mentioned above try to have the shirt slightly damp. Find out what material it is and set the dial of the iron to that material. Fill the water reservoir, plug the iron in and let it heat up. That should only take a minute or two.

Check the sole of the iron and clean it on a cloth just in case some idiot was using it to hold bits of glued wood together, or more likely the last time they used it they burnt something and you don't want the burn stains to come off on your lovely clean shirt. (Note: To avoid burning ALWAYS keep the iron moving over the material.)

While the iron is heating open all the buttons on the shirt. Lay the collar flat on the board and give it a pass with the starch. Now, starting at the tip of the collar move the iron towards the centre of the collar. It should push a small wave of material in front of it. This is because of the construction of a shirt collar. There is a little extra material over the collar lining so that it can curve. Now do the same from the other collar tip, pushing the material to the centre of the collar. Fold the collar and press it with the iron at the fold. Do this a few inches at a time remembering that it is meant to curve around your neck and flat ironing it causes wrinkles.

Yay! Deep breath, drink beer. That is the difficult bit over and done with.

Pull the shirt over the front of the board so that the tapered end catches in the armpit of the shirt. Pull the bottom of the shirt - straighten it out. Flat iron as much as you can without going over the edge of the ironing board (that will cause welts on the shirt). Take care doing around the buttons on the plackat - the strip of material on your shirt with the buttons and buttonholes. Precision ironing with the tip of the power tool here, wimminz always miss that bit. The power tool even has a little gap at the tip to allow you to get right under each button. Genius!

Move the shirt around, ironing as you go. The next bit to worry about is the pleats on the back of the shirt. Pffft, don't worry, easy as driving a nail. Simply tug the shirt tail till the pleat looks straight and then whap the iron down on it.

Keep moving the shirt around till you eventually get back to the other placket.

The shoulders are next. Hook 'em over the taper and pull them as straight as you can. Iron the straight bits. Move the shirt till you can get more bits of the shoulders flat and iron them. After a bit of jiggling it should be all done.

Cuffs are constructed the same way as collars, a bit of extra material on the outside so that it can curve wrinkle free around your wrist. So, just like the collar give them a spray of starch and iron them from the edges to the centre.

Arms are easy enough and in the day of wearing a jacked all day lone sleeves might not even have to be ironed. If you do iron 'em then lay them flat along the seam and iron from shoulder to cuff. The cuff end has lots of folds and pleats so just the same as you did on the back of the shirt just tug them till they are flat and whap the iron on them again.

Now fasten the buttons of your shirt right up including the collar and stick a wooden hanger into it. You could add extra starch to the front panels of the shirt and iron them again if you like the feel of a stiff one. If you are not using a hanger then learn how to fold your shirt for stacking in a drawer. (I may write lesson on that some day)
Drink beer.

Congratulations, you are done apart from the tidy up. If there is any water left in the iron empty it out. Put the iron somewhere out of the way as it does take a bit of time to cool down. Put the ironing board away, coil up your extension lead.

Finish beer. The iron should be cool enough now to coil up the lead and out it away in the cupboard without causing fires.
Happy days.

I spent two years in the Navy.
They taught me how to iron in the first week - very little instruction, but we got it right.

Sorry to say this, but I think a man will iron a shirt better than a woman.

Conor_M1990

Hold the door for people

RedRebel

Off the top of my head:

Semper Paratus (Car) - Keep a change of clothes (old jeans and t-shirt) in the boot for when changing a tyre. It can get messy and you don't want to ruin your good cloths/suit. Flashlight too (you never know when/where you may need to change a tyre).

Shoes - Women pay as much attention to a mans shoes as they do to their own. Choose wisely son. Also, for the love of god: No white socks with blacks shoes! Cannot stress this enough...

Internet: If you're looking up anything you don't want seen by others, use a browser with an 'incognito' mode that doesn't keep a history of sites visited. Chrome is good.

Semper Paratus (Work) - Things to keep in your desk drawer: Aspirin, change of shirt/top, toothbrush and toothpaste, spare charger/battery for the phone in case of emergency, an old usb-key is good for when you need it.

OldGoat

When you are lucky enough to have a woman back to your for a little loving please please remember that keeping your socks on makes you look really comical. It's difficult for the woman to feel seksy when she is trying to control her giggles.
Shoes, socks, trousers, shirt, boxers - in that order.

Otis Driftwood

That is sooooo true.I will admit (albeit with some embarrassment) that Ive found myself mid-coitus with socks still on a couple of times.It is no easy feat to try and take them off while yer at it.:pac:

RedRebel

Haha, agreed. The socks are seriously unsexy and I've been reprimanded on that one several times. To be fair though, there's no sexy way to take your socks of either!

Another tip related to the man-flu thread.

Red's patent-pending man-flu cure-all:

1. Boil water in kettle.
2. Pour about 1/3 pint of orange juice into a pint glass.
3. Place metallic table spoon in pint glass (to absorb the heat and stop glass possibly shattering).
4. Add hot water to pint glass as desired.
5. Add 1 Berocca tablet.
6. Add 1 lemsip sachet.
7. Add honey for sore throat (to taste).
8. Add dash of whiskey (optional).

This concoction will literally boil and bubble when you add the Berocca, which makes it look the business. It doesn't just have the looks though, it packs a punch and will get you back on your feet.

D'Agger

RedRebel wrote: »

Haha, agreed. The socks are seriously unsexy and I've been reprimanded on that one several times. To be fair though, there's no sexy way to take your socks of either!

Another tip related to the man-flu thread.

Red's patent-pending man-flu cure-all:

1. Boil water in kettle.
2. Pour about 1/3 pint of orange juice into a pint glass.
3. Place metallic table spoon in pint glass (to absorb the heat and stop glass possibly shattering).
4. Add hot water to pint glass as desired.
5. Add 1 Berocca tablet.
6. Add 1 lemsip sachet.
7. Add honey for sore throat (to taste).
8. Add dash of whiskey (optional).

This concoction will literally boil and bubble when you add the Berocca, which makes it look the business. It doesn't just have the looks though, it packs a punch and will get you back on your feet.

That sounds like a belter of a drink - I'm in full health atm and I still want to try it

RedRebel

Give it a lash next time your feeling run down Paulie, you'll not be sorry


Thought of another quick man-tip. When taking apart/putting together something with a lot of hard to reach screws a magnetic screwdriver is invaluable. Often however due to the poor planning of yours truly (or someone else when I'm being defensive) said tool is missing or unavailable. Being manly men that we are however there is salvation: we make our own.




Simply attach a moderately powerful fridge magnet to the steal shaft of your screwdriver and it will conduct the magnetic field.


NOTE: Be very careful when working on a computer as magnets tend to cause havoc with the hard drives. Keep the base maget close to the handle of the screwdriver, tape it in place to ensure it doesn't fall off at the wrong moment.

Penn

Cufflinks. Sounds simple and obvious, but I'm amazed by how often relatives or friends call me to see if they can borrow a pair of cufflinks, usually right before they go to a wedding.

If you're wearing a dress shirt, a great pair of cufflinks really brings your style rating to the next level. Something simple, understated, but classy. Simple shape, understated design/pattern, classy look.

Have more than one pair too, as you don't have to break the bank with cufflinks.

And make sure you have them facing the right way.

OldGoat

Barrington wrote: »

Something simple, understated, but classy. Simple shape, understated design/pattern

:eek:
You've not met me yet have you?

mfceiling

RedRebel wrote: »

Haha, agreed. The socks are seriously unsexy and I've been reprimanded on that one several times. To be fair though, there's no sexy way to take your socks of either!

Another tip related to the man-flu thread.

Red's patent-pending man-flu cure-all:

1. Boil water in kettle.
2. Pour about 1/3 pint of orange juice into a pint glass.
3. Place metallic table spoon in pint glass (to absorb the heat and stop glass possibly shattering).
4. Add hot water to pint glass as desired.
5. Add 1 Berocca tablet.
6. Add 1 lemsip sachet.
7. Add honey for sore throat (to taste).
8. Add dash of whiskey (optional).

This concoction will literally boil and bubble when you add the Berocca, which makes it look the business. It doesn't just have the looks though, it packs a punch and will get you back on your feet.

Waiting on the kettle to boil to give this one a try red....will report back with findings or will get the missus to send you a PM after she has left the coroner's office!!

Penn

OldGoat wrote: »

:eek:
You've not met me yet have you?

Well, I was mostly thinking of interviews. I do have a pair or two for weddings which are a bit snazzier

RedRebel

Barrington wrote: »

Well, I was mostly thinking of interviews. I do have a pair or two for weddings which are a bit snazzier

Depending on the job and who the interviewer is. It's good to look the part, but in my industry (IT) I'd be careful not to show up better groomed and dressed than the interviewer. IT managers are a finicky bunch tbf.

As you say: simple, understated and classy is good.

RedRebel

Thought of a few quick kitchen tips.

1. Clean your microwave with a lemond - Half the lemon and place both halves face down on the microwave plate. Add a couple of teaspoons of water to the microwave plate. Turn on at max power for between 1-3 minutes (depending on microwave). The lemon and water should form a vapour that will cover the inside of the microwave. Open and wipe. Simples.

2. When cleaning out the U-bend under a sink you may notice that the U-bend is quite dirty. DO NOT attempt to wash it in the sink you have just removed it from. I have done this though noone saw

3. If someone spills milk or anything in the fridge make sure it's all mopped up and empty the drainage tray at the back of the fridge. If a housemate does not do this in your absence you are free to destroy them without mercy. Another personal experience

jmn89

Really enjoying this forum - that microwave tip worked for me earlier this afternoon AND finally mastered the Windsor Knot.

An addition: cold water takes blood out better than warm water - warm water on a bloody shirt will leach and leave a yellow tinge. Experience gained from past history of nosebleeds (very masculine I know).

Dr Galen

Alway keep an extra bag of sugar handy, you never know when your hot neighbour will knock in for some

Hellrazer

Heres one I learned the hard way.Cold water tank in the attic burst yesterday and I had a "fun" day.
So here goes.


1.Always know where to turn off your mains water coming into the house and have the appropriate tool somewhere very easy to access.

2.To empty the cold water tank turn on all the hot taps and cold taps upstairs.

3.If your tank is an old school galvanised one--check it for leaks today

The replacement job isnt a difficult one once you take your time.Price from a plumber to replace 600-800 euros.

New tank in local hardware including new fittings 86 euro + 5 hours of extremely bad language

bastados

Never let your wife/partner think she's in control...ever.

....and of course dont marry a moaner thinking they'll stop...so choose carefully...I did

syklops

Loving this thread.

As another poster said, always buy decent tools. Do not buy tools in aldi/lidl, even if they seem like 'a good deal' they are usually too soft for more than a couple of uses, which means you have to buy another one in a few weeks.

Always carry either a leatherman or swiss army knife. It doesn't need to be the one with a million accessories. You really only use about 4 of them. While I currently carry a swiss army knife I would recommend the leatherman, for the simple reason that some people get moany about people carrying knives, and while a leatherman has a knife, it is not its primary function. Also, keep the blades really sharp. Nothing worse then a blunt knife, they are actually more dangerous than a sharp knife is.

Contrary to popular belief the kitchen is the realm of the man, not the woman. There is nothing girly about being able to cook, in fact the opposite is true, and women love a man who can cook. You don't need to know a million recipes, just be able to make 5 dishes well. If you're asking a girl out, inviting her over to your place to cook for her will probably be so unexpected, she will say yes out of sheer curiosity/surprise.

Buy yourself a decent chef's knife and learn how to use it. Keep it sharp and clean, and dont let other people use it. In the below video is two important pieces of information, the first is 3 basic knife skills that anyone can master with a bit of practice, the other is how to cook a simple meal in about 5 minutes with practice. I have made this meal several times for my other half and she loves it. It is easy and tastes a lot more expensive than it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z_d0soK1cI

Otis Driftwood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11LFPWyghy8

Something every bloke should know how to do.

As an FYI for any ladies watching,ye too should know how to do it.Its very erotic to have your partner put one on you.;)

quickbeam

These two pieces of advice are contradictory, no?

Deleted User wrote: »

Are you feeling down? Talk to someone about it. It doesn't matter who it is; work colleague, close friend, a specialist or a family member. There genuinely is nothing wrong with admitting when things are getting to you and it won't make you any less of a man doing so.

If you are going through a tough/stressful time, look into taking Yoga/meditation classes. The benefits of these can be astronomical.

feelingstressed wrote: »

In work:

Every workplace has a moaner. Constantly complaining, everything is wrong, the bosses and even God conspires against them and they love to have someone to unload on.
Avoid these leeches, they suck the life from you and put you in a bad mood.
If you don't see someone like this in work, maybe it is you :eek:

It's hard to open up to people when you're feeling down. Harder still if you're afraid you'll be perceived as a moaner.

Otis Driftwood

quickbeam wrote: »

These two pieces of advice are contradictory, no?





It's hard to open up to people when you're feeling down. Harder still if you're afraid you'll be perceived as a moaner.

They dont.

The first one says if you are feeling down talk to someone.

The second one says avoid people that are constantly moaning and complaining as they will bring you down too.

Big difference between having an occasional blue day and being a constant mood hoover.

enfield

How to fry/cook an egg.
Put a non stick pan on the cooker and heat it up for a minute. Add a little oil or spray oil. Crack egg into the pan and cook until the egg is cooked on the bottom, stick a spoonful of water into the pan and cover immediately with a lid, switching off the cooker at the same time. The steam finishes off the egg beautifully.

How to make an old cast Iron pan non stick;- Put some oil into the pan and swish it around it. Cover the oil with salt, put pan on the cooker and burn the salt into the pan. When it is burned take the pan off the cooker allow to cool and brush out the burnt sale with tissues or paper. Don not wash the pan or it will lose it non stickiness. The pan will be non stick until you fry something containing water, tomatoes etc into it. Its grand for pancakes etc.
Try the fried egg and report back.
Cheers.
Tom.

theboat

Courtesy of George Orwell, how to make a decent cup of tea. Vitally important.
http://www.booksatoz.com/witsend/tea/orwell.htm

Ally Dick

If you are gambling online, make sure that you register with Bet365 and not Paddy Power. 'PP Online' on your credit card statement looks incriminating, whereas 'B365' on your statement looks more like Banking 365

Sofiztikated

How to get an upgrade to a better room in a hotel.

First off, don't be a bolix. There are times and places that you cannot get a suite, pick and choose your battles.

You are more likely to get a suite IF you have booked directly with the hotel than through a third party agent. Why? Because you are spending more directly with the hotel. Booking through Expedia and the like, hotels do not get as much money, as they are contracted lower rates because of the amount of business they receive.

Mention to the reservations agent if it is your/partners birthday or an anniversary etc. Don't say at this stage about an upgrade. When finishing making the reservation, again mention your occasion. Leave it at that.

Join a hotels loyalty scheme, especially if you stay in hotels a lot. Hilton have Honors, Radisson Blu (and Park Inn) have Club Carlson (previously GoldPoints Plus), InterCon have Priority Club, and so on. The all have member benefits, and any upgrades due to overbooking would go to members primarily.

When checking in, remember no matter how nice you have been to the reservations agent, the receptionist is the one that decides what room you get. Be nice to them. Don't be a dickhead. Do ask what are your chances for an upgrade. If they say no, then it's a no, don't bitch about it. If they say yes, then be grateful! A tip wouldn't hurt either. Remember, you're getting an upgrade for free. A fiver to the receptionist would be remembered.

meriwether

RedRebel wrote: »

Haha, agreed. The socks are seriously unsexy and I've been reprimanded on that one several times. To be fair though, there's no sexy way to take your socks of either!

Another tip related to the man-flu thread.

Red's patent-pending man-flu cure-all:

1. Boil water in kettle.
2. Pour about 1/3 pint of orange juice into a pint glass.
3. Place metallic table spoon in pint glass (to absorb the heat and stop glass possibly shattering).
4. Add hot water to pint glass as desired.
5. Add 1 Berocca tablet.
6. Add 1 lemsip sachet.
7. Add honey for sore throat (to taste).
8. Add dash of whiskey (optional).

This concoction will literally boil and bubble when you add the Berocca, which makes it look the business. It doesn't just have the looks though, it packs a punch and will get you back on your feet.

Yours sounds nice, and even sophisticated. Mine is slightly more blunt. Its basically a strong hot whiskey, with Lemsip.

1: Boil Kettle
2: Pour.
3: Put in satchet of lemsip.
4: Pour in whiskey. Anything up to a naggin (it has to be strong).
5: Cloves, Bowrn sugar, if you want. Pointless, TBF.
6: Drink. Go to bed for the night.

It more or less pulverisies your cold.

mfceiling

Listen to your parents.

Are you under 25 and think you know everything - bad news - your dad had probably done everything you think is cool.

Seriously...if you are lucky enough to have both or one of your parents alive then call them or visit them and talk to them.
Wealth of free experience going on there.....raise a glass to your Mum and Dad!!