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All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    And not the hint of a blush! Really, OG, you are incorrigible! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    Ha! I'm not called OldGoat because of my beard yaknow. :p

    Hey, the roofers are back, that's my morning sorted out then.

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Well that's just cheap entertainment, ya cheapskate! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Sorry I have not been around, meds have knocked me bottom over kipper here. I expected it to be a bit rough, man alive it has been worse. :(


    Good news though I am now required to have Jellybabies just in case I need a quick nibble :)

    Hire car goes back this weekend Put a deposit on a Passat. Not sure how I feel about this.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Rubecula wrote: »
    Sorry I have not been around, meds have knocked me bottom over kipper here. I expected it to be a bit rough, man alive it has been worse. :(


    Good news though I am now required to have Jellybabies just in case I need a quick nibble :)

    Hire car goes back this weekend Put a deposit on a Passat. Not sure how I feel about this.

    Well, I beg your pardon?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 28,070 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Don't mind him JB, he did that on purpose :pac: Evidently feeling a bit better!

    Hang in there Rube, hope you really are feeling a bit better. Why are you doubtful about the Passat? I'm one of those 'as long as it has four wheels and a roof, and it goes' types with cars! What was the other one, why not the same again? The answer to this question is probably screamingly obvious to everyone else :rolleyes: :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Boys and girls see cars quite differently. I'm with you Looksee, four wheels, steering wheel and a great big brake will do for me too.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Surprised at my question? Don't worry I haven't taken to the drop. We have visitors arriving for the Easter weekend and shocked to be told the country's pubs will be closed on Good Friday. I didn't even know that myself. Can I give them any better news for Good Friday about where they can get some drinkies?


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,210 ✭✭✭bonzodog2


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    Surprised at my question? Don't worry I haven't taken to the drop. We have visitors arriving for the Easter weekend and shocked to be told the country's pubs will be closed on Good Friday. I didn't even know that myself. Can I give them any better news for Good Friday about where they can get some drinkies?

    :eek::eek::eek::eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    But.......I don't drink......so I'd never know these 'important' facts of life!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,552 ✭✭✭Layinghen


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    Surprised at my question? Don't worry I haven't taken to the drop. We have visitors arriving for the Easter weekend and shocked to be told the country's pubs will be closed on Good Friday. I didn't even know that myself. Can I give them any better news for Good Friday about where they can get some drinkies?

    Oh Jellybaby, I knew this tee totalling would catch up with you at some stage:D:D

    Well there is always the drink cabinet here, maybe if you made an appeal to OG he might in the circumstances allow you to give some to your visitors, seeing as you can never be blamed for any of his stash mysteriously disappearing during the year.

    Failing that if your guests attend a race meeting (either horse or greyhound) they can be served alcohol.

    If they stay at a hotel and have a meal they can have alcohol at that.

    Military canteens can also serve the demon drink (but your guests may have to enlist:eek:)

    Private clubs can als get an exemption.

    That's about it as far as I know, I will be locking myself in the wine cellar on the day to make sure no one tries to relieve me of my stock:cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Hen, just stop that giggling. This is SERIOUS! They are coming to Ireland and can't get booze! (:D:D:D:D:D)

    They are not staying with us so I won't have to bother myself with the problem of serving alcohol. They NEED a pub to go out to, and I'm less than useless to them. They won't have a car so won't be going to the races, and they won't be enlisting in the army neythur! So its a meal out or the hotel bar so far. Ok they may just survive until Saturday!


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    Layinghen wrote: »
    Well there is always the drink cabinet here, maybe if you made an appeal to OG he might ...

    Hahahahaha. No. :p

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,552 ✭✭✭Layinghen


    OldGoat wrote: »
    Hahahahaha. No. :p

    Oh well I tried!!!!!

    If they go for a meal a restaurant can't serve liquor on Good Friday it has to be a hotel:(

    Theatres are also allowed serve on Good Friday (just remembered) in case that is of any use.

    Your only chance of getting them into a pub is to check with your local drinkers to see if there is a 'lock in' planned for any of the local hostelrys. (Totally illegal of course:P). Here in the Kingdom, things like that would never happen, but I believe in the big smoke it may;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Layinghen wrote: »
    Oh well I tried!!!!!

    If they go for a meal a restaurant can't serve liquor on Good Friday it has to be a hotel:(

    Theatres are also allowed serve on Good Friday (just remembered) in case that is of any use.

    Your only chance of getting them into a pub is to check with your local drinkers to see if there is a 'lock in' planned for any of the local hostelrys. (Totally illegal of course:P). Here in the Kingdom, things like that would never happen, but I believe in the big smoke it may;)

    I'm all conflustered, restaurants can't, theatres can, I'm getting....d i z z y:confused:

    Lock-ins. I have heard tell of those, somewhere in the mists of time.....pray, tell, Hen, of your undoubted.....erm....knowledge. ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,552 ✭✭✭Layinghen


    Well you see my birthday falls around Easter time and has done all my life, so after so many years I have discovered ways of making sure I got to celebrate :D. Though nowadays as I am starting to mature a nice evening at home with a good bottle of wine and a nice meal is all I want.

    Yes the licensing laws in this country are a total mystery. I feel sorry for the poor visitors who hit our shores on the wrong day.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Layinghen wrote: »
    Well you see my birthday falls around Easter time and has done all my life, so after so many years I have discovered ways of making sure I got to celebrate :D. Though nowadays as I am starting to mature a nice evening at home with a good bottle of wine and a nice meal is all I want.

    Yes the licensing laws in this country are a total mystery. I feel sorry for the poor visitors who hit our shores on the wrong day.

    Hmmm, starting to mature.....like a ripe old cheese! :D Cheesy Hen!

    I don't feel that sorry for the 'poor visitors'. They'll just have to do without.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    Boys and girls see cars quite differently. I'm with you Looksee, four wheels, steering wheel and a great big brake will do for me too.

    Not too far different myself but I do like to add a bit of comfort to my travelling I would travel in a bed if I could, all wrapped up and warm :D
    looksee wrote: »
    Don't mind him JB, he did that on purpose :pac: Evidently feeling a bit better!

    Hang in there Rube, hope you really are feeling a bit better. Why are you doubtful about the Passat? I'm one of those 'as long as it has four wheels and a roof, and it goes' types with cars! What was the other one, why not the same again? The answer to this question is probably screamingly obvious to everyone else :rolleyes: :)

    Thank you hon I am feeling .... ummm ..... Not so bad? Anyway I had a nice Passat, very reliable and comfy. I only got rid of it because it was starting to cost a lot to keep going, and I needed something I was comfortable getting out of. It was a bit low and my legs are starting to fail me a tad. I part ex'ed it for a Sharan which while big was also idea for me to get in and out of.

    The only reason I am not getting another one is there are none available near enough that are as good as the one I had and the only reason I am getting another passat is it is the best I can afford :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    News headlines:

    All is not well at BrensBenz Manor since the Woof broke his "elbow" joint last Tuesday while frantically ridding East Coast beaches of all bird life. There were multiple breaks and our usual vet referred us to a specialist. Surgery on Wednesday and home for recovery that night. "Keep him confined to a 2m x 2m space, for eight to twelve weeks, with one or two toilet visits on a lead per day," he said. We laughed and asked "no, really, how long?" "Eight to twelve weeks!"

    Now, since the accident happened on a very remote beach, with poor mobile reception, I had to carry him to civilisation over sand, seaweed, pebbles, rocks, fields, muck paths and tractor trails. Wrapped in my coat with his damaged leg uppermost, I know that every step I took was painful for him....but needs must! Now, the normally grumpy little fecquer associates me only with pain. I'm getting growls, snaps, snarls whenever I appear, even when bearing treats (with hidden medication).

    "He's in shock and pain but he'll be back in your lap soon" says Mrs. BrensBenz. "He's in shock and pain!?!?!? He hasn't seen the vet's bill!"

    Oh well, only eleven and a half weeks to go!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,552 ✭✭✭Layinghen


    Sorry to hear about the woof Brens. From memory he is a rather large hound, it must have been some feat carrying him back.

    My own little doggie has been in the wars as well this week, but thankfully it is only a cut paw. However it meant a few days off her feet with no walks which she isn't best pleased about. Thankfully to take her out to do her business means just having to tuck her under my arm, telling her she is lucky she is a small dog otherwise I would have to put her in the wheelbarrow to move her.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Poor Woof. I quite understand why he is feeling so grumpy. His life has changed dramatically, he is in pain, he can't go for walks or runs, his toileting habits are controlled by hoomans, and on top of all that his owner is slipping drugs into his food. Who wouldn't be grumpy!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    Layinghen wrote: »
    Sorry to hear about the woof Brens. From memory he is a rather large hound, it must have been some feat carrying him back.

    My own little doggie has been in the wars as well this week, but thankfully it is only a cut paw

    No no, our (11 stone, 26 inch neck) Bernese Mountain Dog is but a fond memory.......and a local legend!

    The Woof, a golden cocker, is fine for 99% of the time but he has a temper. He's actually my son's dog but, when our grandson arrived, we fostered the Woof and installed him in BrensBenz Manor.......just in case! He's not so heavy but, because of his pain, the rough terrain and chemotherapy, the lift home was awkward and slow.

    The Woof cut his paw last year. A small wound but it became infected.....so lots of growls, the vet, more growls, bandages / bandage removal, lots more growls, etc.

    I know they're only dogs but it's upsetting to see them in any pain. Best wishes to your little darling for a speedy recovery.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,552 ✭✭✭Layinghen


    Ah that explains it. I thought all the zapping of you had given you super human abilities.

    Fingers crossed but so far the hounds paw is doing well. Got her to the vet as soon as it happened and he gave antibiotics immediately. It is heartbreaking to see them in any sign of distress or pain.

    Hopefully your lad will start to heal soon and take his medicine. I hide her ladyships tablets in mashed up sardines, which she adores, anything else and she has the uncanny knack of either eating around the tablets or spitting them out.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    I love doggiewoofers too, sadly not had one for nearly 30 years now. but still love them all


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    You know how youse lot know everything? Well, tell me this and tell me no more:

    I was in Mr. McDonalds restaurant last week and, while conversing with the genius at the controls of the dashboard from the space shuttle, he interrupted and asked (without eye contact) "Is diss a meal?" Unwilling to display any weakness, I invited his stare over the rim of my glasses. There then ensued a staring duel. Just before the interruption, I had expressed a desire for a "double cheeseburger PLAIN (without all of the stuff that squirts out and ruins your clothes and upholstery), large French fries and a....."

    Being a sarcastic so-and-so, I pondered, besides a "meal", other possibilities for what a "double cheeseburger PLAIN, large French fries and a....." could possibly be, particularly when ordered at a fast FOOD emporium: Hair care products? Artists' raw materials? Fuel for oil lamps? Deterrents for abduction by aliens? Polish to keep dolfrins noses shiny?

    Now, while standing in the queue before meeting this person, I had ample time to memorise the entire menu, thoughtfully displayed in mural format above the command centre. Nowhere on this neon tableau was there a definition of what a "meal" means in McDonaldese, so the staring competition continued until he uttered the words again, this time with visible frustration: "Is diss a meal?".

    The medics have warned me about stress so I revealed to him that I didn't understand the question. He sighed heavily, stared towards the ceiling tiles and explained: "Loike, if it's loike a meal it's loike €6 and if loike it isn't a meal it's €7.40".

    So, Os&Os, did I miss the English class where alternative, monetary-based definitions of "meal" were taught? Do Mr. Burger King and Colonel KFC use the same obscure terms? Maybe I'll stick to a wan'n'wan down the local chipper instead.....loike.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,545 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    Oh my, did you get the 'meal' in the end?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    BrensBenz wrote: »
    ....I was in Mr. McDonalds restaurant last week and, while conversing with the genius at the controls of the dashboard from the space shuttle,....

    :D:D:D:D Flippin' magic stuff this!!! Fell off me chair with the lahffin' so I did! :D:D:D

    I don't visit Mr. McDonald so I don't know what goes on in his establishments.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    Oh my, did you get the 'meal' in the end?

    Yes, the €6 version. I was hungry again before I got to the car!

    I'm not doing too well with fast food joints: being bombarded by an endless stream of interrogation by "Subway" and bamboosled by the use of perfectly good words given new, secret meanings by McDonalds.

    But at least I got fed there! There's a pub in Ashbourne with its entire gable end festooned with "Food Served All-Day". So I called in at 2:30PM to be told that I had a choice of crisps, peanuts or, if I didn't mind waiting till 3:00, a sandwich. So I waited and waited and, at 3:30 I was told that the "chef" had phoned in sick, so no sandwiches. But the crisps and peanuts were still available. "Tayto?" I asked. "Nah, King." "Cheese and onion?" "Nah, salt and vinegar."

    The local philosopher was sitting beside me and, realising the apparent contradiction between "Food Served All-Day", comprised only of King crisps or peanuts, he muttered the immortal words "Don't believe everything you read".


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Dear Customer,
    Few days ago we informed you that we started to upgradde our databse to fetch the new security updates and as you might noticed our web site was offline for some of you today.

    After the upgrade we lost sensitive information of users accounts.
    If you receive this email that means you need to update your billign and payment information, make sure they are correct and equivalent to information on your billing files.

    Other way to update your information, you can send us a photo proof of your billing information and a photo of both sides of your credit card.
    We will update the account manually and this will take 48 hours.
    Please reply to this email to send the files.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 28,070 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Chucken wrote: »
    Dear Customer,
    Few days ago we informed you that we started to upgradde our databse to fetch the new security updates and as you might noticed our web site was offline for some of you today.

    After the upgrade we lost sensitive information of users accounts.
    If you receive this email that means you need to update your billign and payment information, make sure they are correct and equivalent to information on your billing files.

    Other way to update your information, you can send us a photo proof of your billing information and a photo of both sides of your credit card.
    We will update the account manually and this will take 48 hours.
    Please reply to this email to send the files.

    And you know what? There will be one or two eejits that will do just that.

    It would be quite entertaining though to email them saying 'I do not know how to send photos of my credit card, if you let me know your address I will send my card and you can take the photos yourselves...' :pac:


This discussion has been closed.
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