Encounters during the night!

JaneB

A few weeks back I started sharing a house with two other girls--there was war last night. The boyfriend of girl A was staying over, in the middle of the night girl B gets up to go to the loo and meets boyfriend of girl A walking back fron the bathroom stark naked. Girl B is freaking over the situation, girl A and the boyfriend are apologising profusely and saying he would have covered up if he had known that he was going to meet someone, which I am sure is true. Girl C (i.e. me) can't see what the fuss is about (in fact it was dark bar a tiny bit of light from a small bulb we keep on so I am surprised she could see anything)--I think I would have found the situation funny more than anything. What is your opinion?

Count Duckula

Although Girl B might be making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill, especially given how mortified the man seems to have been by the whole thing, you've got to say there's no way he should be walking round naked in a shared house anyway. I know that I'd cover up before wandering round in public areas.

Nobody wants to see my bits.

grungepants

Could i give a mans view?

This happens everywhere,shared housing is a fcuking nightmare.If your girlfriend lives in shared housing its hard for you to give a **** about the other room mates TBH.Like its enough that you have to impress her friends let alone the flat mates...

Little Acorn

I personally wouldn't see it as a big deal.
My reaction would depend on what type of people the girl and her boyfriend were. If they were the type who could laugh at themselves, then I would probably make a joke about it the next day, to lighten the atmosphere.
If they seemed the type who were a bit shy and extremely embarrassed, then I would probably act like nothing had happened to save them blushes, then if they did ask me about it I would reassure them that it was no big deal.:)

I don't know the reasons why your other housemate is so annoyed though. Perhaps she got frightened when she ran into the fella naked? Could be a few things, she should just talk it through with them though. They are apologizing, so sound like they are doing their best to resolve the issue.

Raze_them_all

Tbh yer man should of covered up, but yer one is probably blowing it out of proportion. If it happened constantly fair enough if this is a once off you can bet it wont happen again.

House mate B should be happy it's all she seen.

I once came home from work and walked into my sitting room since the light was on....where my housemate was getting head, the girl bolted...leaving him there, erection in hand drunkely swinging it like a lightsaber laughing.


Now thats an image that gets burned into your brain.

Dravokivich

grungepants wrote: »

Could i give a mans view?

This happens everywhere,shared housing is a fcuking nightmare.If your girlfriend lives in shared housing its hard for you to give a **** about the other room mates TBH.Like its enough that you have to impress her friends let alone the flat mates...

i wouldnt consider that to be a man's view on the issue... i wouldnt expect to impress someone's flatmates... but at least to be civil...

overall the fella gambled on the likilyhood of no one else.being awake or needing to get up and he got caught out. a simple mistake and misunderstanding.

an apology and promise not to do it again should be enough imo...

well... that's this man's view...

grungepants

Dravokivich wrote: »

i wouldnt consider that to be a man's view on the issue... i wouldnt expect to impress someone's flatmates... but at least to be civil...

overall the fella gambled on the likilyhood of no one else.being awake or needing to get up and he got caught out. a simple mistake and misunderstanding.

an apology and promise not to do it again should be enough imo...

well... that's this man's view...

I said a mans view because this is ladies lounge and i wanted to show that im a man.

ATMW

I've a house of my own now, but I shared many flats and houses in my time, and this type of a thing happened more than once-- I'd tend to have more sympathy with the boyfriend here--okay--maybe he should have covered up, but this would have probably meant turning on the lights and finding some clothes, he was probably half asleep and it was unlikely he would be "caught"--I'll admit to having done numerous bathroom runs in various states of undress during the night, i got caught a couple of times, but there was never any problem. (I'm female--seem to be a few argumentative men in the ladies lounge today).

krudler

mountain out of a molehill tbh, she saw a guy naked in dim light, its a funny story, be different if he clambered into her bed or something. although its really not hard to whip on a pair of jocks before going wandering around a shared house.

magneticimpulse

not even going to get into a debate about sharing with couples. Absolute nightmare. They take over the house, kitchen, bathroom...everything.

Would be pissed off if house was for single people and then housemate moved boyfriend into house.

Count Duckula

In fairness MI you have no idea if he was just staying the night or not. I mean, boyfriends / girlfriends are going to spend the night in shared houses fairly often I'd have thought.

Raze_them_all

They're not sharing?? Shje said the boyfriend was over, not living there.

JaneB

No--the boyfiend is not living in the house--he was here Saturday night and last night --I gather he comes down about every third or fourth weekend, but it is unusual for him to stay the Sunday night.

Raze_them_all

JaneB wrote: »

No--the boyfiend is not living in the house--he was here Saturday night and last night --I gather he comes down about every third or fourth weekend, but it is unusual for him to stay the Sunday night.

every third or 4th weekend??? jesus thats not bad at all

hinault

As a man I would never walk around anyones house regardless of the hour, naked.

In my own house, it's my right to decide whether I want to walk around naked or not but not in someone else's house.

grungepants

Raze_them_all wrote: »

every third or 4th weekend??? jesus thats not bad at all

If it were me I'd be there every weekend and at least twice during the weekdays.:pac::pac::pac::pac::D

Asphyxia

She might have been blowing it out of proportion but he should have more sense that to walk around naked regardless if she had seen anything or not. It's not just his girlfriend's house and when you're sharing with people you have to think of them as well.

mikemac

Girl B needs to stop freaking.

The couple have apologized, not much more they can do except gurantee it won't happen again

No big deal

Now if the lad was half asleep and dozy and climbed into her bed that would be a big deal. And it's happened in houses I shared in. :pac:
Now that I remember a girl who came back for the night once went into the wrong bedroom too but she can be excused, dark and didn't know the house

grungepants

The funny thing is even in your own story you named yourself "Girl C".Put yourself as Girl A.Its like being a sidekick in your own fantasy!

JaneB

grungepants wrote: »

The funny thing is even in your own story you named yourself "Girl C".Put yourself as Girl A.Its like being a sidekick in your own fantasy!

I am very much the side-kick--I was asleep while all this happened, it was only the following morning that things erupted. Basically the boyfriend said to girl B something like "I hope I didn't give you a fright last night" and I think that both himself and girl A (who was next to him) expected her to say "no not at all", instead of which she erupted into a tirade about him having no respect, being thoughtless etc. I gather that he was going to look for his trousers but girl A said "sure who will see you" or some such thing--talk about tempting fate.

Malari

Similar thing happened to my then-boyfriend, except he saw my flatmate in the nip. Another guy I think he was a bit horrified, but I was just glad I didn't have to see my flatmate in the altogether. Didn't need that image every time I saw him!!

It seems like a bit of an over-reaction. The boyfriend was very unlucky to have encountered the girl in the middle of the night, but then again, he could have grabbed any old piece of clothing to cover his bits while he's running to the bathroom, surely? Maybe she was a bit embarrassed that they were laughing at her or something.

grungepants

JaneB wrote: »

I am very much the side-kick--I was asleep while all this happened, it was only the following morning that things erupted. Basically the boyfriend said to girl B something like "I hope I didn't give you a fright last night" and I think that both himself and girl A (who was next to him) expected her to say "no not at all", instead of which she erupted into a tirade about him having no respect, being thoughtless etc. I gather that he was going to look for his trousers but girl A said "sure who will see you" or some such thing--talk about tempting fate.

The problem is when two people are having sex in general they dont care about silly things like "having respect".And the flat mate thats going mad is just bitter about the sharing of physical emotions going on between the other two.

Elle Collins

grungepants wrote: »

And the flat mate thats going mad is just bitter about the sharing of physical emotions going on between the other two.

The sharing of physical emotions??? What are you on about?? The girl just wanted to be able to walk around her own home without some blokes bollocks swinging in her face.

Count Duckula

grungepants wrote: »

The problem is when two people are having sex in general they dont care about silly things like "having respect".And the flat mate thats going mad is just bitter about the sharing of physical emotions going on between the other two.

Er... I think you might be reading into this a little bit too much.

Wolfe Tone

Dear god a naked human body, how horrible.

Latchy

Ah sounds like girl is making a bigger thing of it then needs be, ok he should have covered up but waking up in middle of night ,he wasn't thinking he was going to bump into somebody.

Scenario reminds me a bit of the scene in the film scene were Jack Black is laid out on the sofa and urged by his mate to '' look away now '' when his girlfriend (unawares ) removes her towel :pac:

Ickle Magoo

grungepants wrote: »

The problem is when two people are having sex in general they dont care about silly things like "having respect".And the flat mate thats going mad is just bitter about the sharing of physical emotions going on between the other two.

In that case, they should get their own place. It's hardly unreasonable to expect people who don't actually pay rent and as such the other flat-mates didn't agree to live with, having a bit of cop-on when they go for a wander round the communal areas of someone else's home in the altogether...the flat mate may well not be jealous at all, just because she doesn't want to see that particular man naked, doesn't mean she doesn't want/doesn't get to see any other man naked.

Ickle Magoo

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Dear god a naked human body, how horrible.

In that case you wouldn't mind if your flat mate came thru naked while your folks were over having dinner, yeah? It's just a human body ffs...

Exactly - sometimes it's just not appropriate.

Corkblowin

Its an embarrassing situation for both sides - I'd never have risked such a trip without at least a towel, and I once met a girlfriends housemate on the landing barely covered by a towel after she came out of the shower - forgetting there was a fella in the house! Stuff like this happens!!

But its not like he was some randomer - he's girl A's boyfriend, so girl B would have met him previously. He's apologised and so she really needs to chill out, get a sense of humour and let things go. TBH it sounds like she needs some of what Girl A is getting. :P

Wolfe Tone

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

In that case you wouldn't mind if your flat mate came thru naked while your folks were over having dinner, yeah? It's just a human body ffs...

Exactly - sometimes it's just not appropriate.

This is in the middle of the night heading back from the jacks, in fact the scenario you mention would be hilarious!

barleybooley

I don't know how this has turned out to be something other than a laugh with a wee bit of a red face! Is the girl who saw the naked bf completely devoid of a sense of humour? She'd see a lot worse if she watched television after nine at night!

Ickle Magoo

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

This is in the middle of the night heading back from the jacks, in fact the scenario you mention would be hilarious!

But a human body is a human body, right? Surely the time of day or location doesn't suddenly render it appropriate? Your point was that there was nothing wrong with the body wasn't it? Not just there was nothing wrong with it under the cover of darkness while on an excursion to the communal toilet facilities?

Regardless, the OP's question is moot. It's not for anyone else to suggest what is or isn't appropriate, someone who pays the rent on the property doesn't think it's appropriate and that's all that matters - the alternative is suggesting she has no right to object to bumping into naked people who don't even live there or pay rent.

Hilarious? Hmmm, maybe when I was 12 or something...

mood

In a shared house it is highly likely that you could get caught if outside your room (or you bf or gf room) naked. The guy need to cop on and consider people who live and pay rent in that house. Nobody wants to see him naked.

grungepants

Well the fun certainly has been sucked out of this thread thanks to the socially conscious, responsible do-gooders we all "love" and "respect"...............................................noooooooooooooooooooot.

Wolfe Tone

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

But a human body is a human body, right? Surely the time of day or location doesn't suddenly render it appropriate? Your point was that there was nothing wrong with the body wasn't it? Not just there was nothing wrong with it under the cover of darkness while on an excursion to the communal toilet facilities?

Regardless, the OP's question is moot. It's not for anyone else to suggest what is or isn't appropriate, someone who pays the rent on the property doesn't think it's appropriate and that's all that matters - the alternative is suggesting she has no right to object to bumping into naked people who don't even live there or pay rent.

Hilarious? Hmmm, maybe when I was 12 or something...

Funny you would imply that I am the immature one when you are getting uppity about someone seeing a naked man who was heading back from the jacks in the dead of night.

Pathetic

Ickle Magoo

No, I genuinely wouldn't find a grown man being naked while I'm having dinner with my parents in a home I pay rent on hilarious and I haven't found naked bodies particularly hilarious since I was about 12 - you are, of course welcome to take offence at that.

I haven't lived at home in nearly 20 years and in that time I've only had one female flat-mate - I've lost count of the bare arses and swinging jiggly bits I've seen over the years...but that isn't the point, is it? It's that I don't think it's very difficult to see why a female who has chosen to have all female flatmates might not want to be put in the situation of having to happen upon a naked man in what she should be able to consider her own home. It's nothing to do with maturity and everything about common sense, surely?

Ickle Magoo

grungepants wrote: »

Well the fun certainly has been sucked out of this thread thanks to the socially conscious, responsible do-gooders we all "love" and "respect"...............................................noooooooooooooooooooot.

This forum is primarily for women to have their say about issues from a female perspective - if that's an issue for you then perhaps other forums would suit you better?

LenaClaire

Perhaps the girl who was startled in the night has had some bad experiences with men. Perhaps it brought back old trauma.

Either way, you should not wander around someone else house naked, it is rude.

JaneB

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

This forum is primarily for women to have their say about issues from a female perspective - if that's an issue for you then perhaps other forums would suit you better?

Bloody Hell--talk about things getting out of hand.

Firstly, I posted this is the ladies Lounge so I could get mainly ladies opinions, thanks to Ickle Magoo for reminding people of this.

Secondly,
On the other hand

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

No, I genuinely wouldn't find a grown man being naked while I'm having dinner with my parents in a home I pay rent on hilarious

Ickle--this is ridiculous: I think the bit about "not paying rent" is unfair. Occassionally I go and stay with people in their flats--I don't like this notion that somehow I am staying somewhere without paying rent. There is a massive difference between intentionally walking into a dining room naked where people know they are going to be seen naked and something like running to the bathroom in the nude when it is highly unlikely that you will be seen and getting caught out. I would not class making a quick dash down the corridor as "wandering about the house naked". to quote someone else

Thirdly: Girl B is jealous of Girl A having a sexual relationship--a million miles from the truth.

As mentioned my sympathies are with the boyfriend--and i do live in the house and pay rent. There has to be a bit of live and let live when you share a house.

Silverfish

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Funny you would imply that I am the immature one when you are getting uppity about someone seeing a naked man who was heading back from the jacks in the dead of night.

Pathetic

Read the charter before posting here again.

Ickle Magoo

JaneB wrote: »

Fourthly, these statements like: how would you like it if your folks were having dinner and someone walked in naked are ridiculous!!....

That point was made in relation to a post inferring those who could see at least some part of the offended flatmates perspective must somehow view the naked body as disgusting...my point was sometimes being naked just isn't appropriate regardless of how much peeps love the human form, dinner with the folks being one of them.

While you may not like the point that he isn't paying rent, the point is, he isn't...and the offended flatmate is - and that makes it her home and him a house guest...that said, I have some sympathy for him too, the middle of the night isn't the best time for thinking rationally at the best of times and it's only an issue because A) he got caught and this flat mate has such an issue about it...but still, perhaps a valuable lesson in space sharing?

Dudess

The guy should have put on a towel ffs - not just to spare the girl's embarrassment, but his own. He's clearly morto, by the looks of things. You can't just make assumptions the coast is clear in a house-share, especially when you don't actually live there.
The girl has totally over-reacted though - what's done is done, should have been laughed off long ago.

grungepants wrote: »

The problem is when two people are having sex in general they dont care about silly things like "having respect".And the flat mate thats going mad is just bitter about the sharing of physical emotions going on between the other two.

This is kinda like when a person expresses annoyance at being kept awake by their flatmates having sex loudly - it's nothing to do with the fact that it's 2am and they've to get up for work at 7, it's jealousy...
By the same logic, a person who gets annoyed due to being kept awake by their flatmates/neighbours playing loud music... must be jealous of their music collection...

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Dear god a naked human body, how horrible.

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Funny you would imply that I am the immature one when you are getting uppity about someone seeing a naked man who was heading back from the jacks in the dead of night.

Pathetic

Do you actually mean that or are you just trolling being disingenuous? Yes, it's just a naked human body when it's a changing room, or a nude beach... the corridoor when you're nipping to the loo however, it's unexpected, and as you know, people get self conscious about being naked/seeing naked people unexpectedly. Pretty run of the mill really. Nothing "uppity" whatsoever.

grungepants wrote: »

Well the fun certainly has been sucked out of this thread thanks to the socially conscious, responsible do-gooders we all "love" and "respect".

Says the guy who reads "jealousy of physical intimacy" into this. You need to learn the actual meaning of the phrases you threw out above btw... People are simply saying it's embarrassing for some to bump into a naked person they don't really know in their own home late at night - and it can also be embarrassing for the naked person themselves. Nobody's saying it's a traumatising situation or anything, just a bit cringey. You're reading melodrama into it where there's none.

Neyite

OP,

Taking it as you have described, then she is definately overreacting, but he should have had the cop on to throw a towel around him.

But the other thing is, you have only been there a few weeks - there might be previous instances where the couple have been inconsiderate of the flatmates and this might have been the straw that broke the camels back.

Blush_01

Not knowing either of them it would make me think that B probably had an issue with A well before the nudie incident, and it's being used as a convenient point to take umbrage with.

Sure, she might have had issues with any number of things in her past, but at the end of the day she'll be living in the house with A. One would imagine she'll see quite a bit of A's fella in the process of living with A - though probably not as much as she saw last night - so why fight over something that doesn't sound likely to become a regular issue?

Having shared houses for 8 years now (wow, feeling old all of a sudden) that'd be something I'd laugh about with them, rather than argue about.

Fluorescence

jujibee wrote: »

Either way, you should not wander around someone else house naked, it is rude.

This is the main thing, I think. You simply don't wander around naked in someone else's home - it takes all of 5 seconds to pull on some boxers or pair of trousers first. That said I do think this girl is making the issue into something bigger than it is.

JaneB

Okay--I think we've this discussed enough now. "Girl A" and myself don't seem to think that what happened is a big deal, girl B obviously does, we'll have to see what transpires. Incidentally, Girl B is only there about a fortnight longer than me--there were two sisters there before that moved out simultaneously.

I still take issue with the "not paying rent" idea. I've been thinking about this--when you rent a place I think that it is taken as reasonable that OCCASIONALLY you have guests; girl B's mother stayed a night before I came, she slept in the room I am in now, and my brother is coming for a couple of days at the end of this week, I would take the view that my rent covers this, and it is not fair to say that "he is staying without paying rent".

RoisinDove

JaneB wrote: »

Okay--I think we've this discussed enough now. "Girl A" and myself don't seem to think that what happened is a big deal, girl B obviously does, we'll have to see what transpires. Incidentally, Girl B is only there about a fortnight longer than me--there were two sisters there before that moved out simultaneously.

I still take issue with the "not paying rent" idea. I've been thinking about this--when you rent a place I think that it is taken as reasonable that OCCASIONALLY you have guests; girl B's mother stayed a night before I came, she slept in the room I am in now, and my brother is coming for a couple of days at the end of this week, I would take the view that my rent covers this, and it is not fair to say that "he is staying without paying rent".

And your guests should behave like guests. I don't think anyone is saying people can't have partners staying over, it's more the fact that guests walking around naked and acting as if they own the place is plain rude and ignorant. You don't walk around someone else's house (especially when you don't even really know all the people living there) naked any more than you help yourself to milk from the fridge or hog the TV all evening. Unfortunately, some people are just completely oblivious to the concept of manners and consideration for others.

Wibbs

RoisinDove wrote: »

Unfortunately, some people are just completely oblivious to the concept of manners and consideration for others.

This. I wouldnt walk around in the nip in my own house while I had guests staying, never mind doing so when I was a guest.

ATMW

RoisinDove wrote: »

And your guests should behave like guests. I don't think anyone is saying people can't have partners staying over, it's more the fact that guests walking around naked and acting as if they own the place is plain rude and ignorant. You don't walk around someone else's house (especially when you don't even really know all the people living there) naked any more than you help yourself to milk from the fridge or hog the TV all evening. Unfortunately, some people are just completely oblivious to the concept of manners and consideration for others.

Okay--but I think the thing here is that whilst I certainly agree that you should not help yourself to milk from the fridge in someones house, I think that if you were staying in someones house, and they were gone out and you used a tea-bag and a dash of milk to make a cup of tea that would hardly be an enormous crime, similarly the fact that this bloke
made a quick naked dash to the loo, more or less in the dark, in the middle of the night this hardly constitutes "walking about somebodies house nude"--it hardly indicates that he is oblivious to the concept of manners, especially when he was looking for his trousers but his girlfiend tempted fate and told himn to make a dash for it.

RoisinDove

ATMW wrote: »

Okay--but I think the thing here is that whilst I certainly agree that you should not help yourself to milk from the fridge in someones house, I think that if you were staying in someones house, and they were gone out and you used a tea-bag and a dash of milk to make a cup of tea that would hardly be an enormous crime, similarly the fact that this bloke
made a quick naked dash to the loo, more or less in the dark, in the middle of the night this hardly constitutes "walking about somebodies house nude"--it hardly indicates that he is oblivious to the concept of manners, especially when he was looking for his trousers but his girlfiend tempted fate and told himn to make a dash for it.

Yes, that's exactly what it indicates. It would have taken, what, 5 seconds to pull on some boxers and spare anyone's embarrassment, but instead he decided not to bother, because obviously those 5 seconds were more important than the flatmates' rights to walk around their own house without seeing a stranger's willy. I wouldn't be bothered getting angry about it, but I think people these days are just getting more and more selfish. I see evidence of it all over this forum in various topics, people saying 'oh, I think X and Y are grand, don't understand why anyone would be bothered', because they simply are unable to put themselves in other peoples' shoes for one second. It's all me, me, me.

JaneB

RoisinDove wrote: »

Yes, that's exactly what it indicates. It would have taken, what, 5 seconds to pull on some boxers and spare anyone's embarrassment, but instead he decided not to bother, because obviously those 5 seconds were more important than the flatmates' rights to walk around their own house without seeing a stranger's willy. I wouldn't be bothered getting angry about it, but I think people these days are just getting more and more selfish. I see evidence of it all over this forum in various topics, people saying 'oh, I think X and Y are grand, don't understand why anyone would be bothered', because they simply are unable to put themselves in other peoples' shoes for one second. It's all me, me, me.

Roisin---I had decided to stop posting on this thread, but you have annoyed me so much I am going to--the thing is that "the boyfriend" is so far from being "oblivious to manners", and "girl B" is so "me, me me" that what you say is utterly ridiculous.