Getting jerked about by women

HellFireClub

I am a friend wrote: »

Dont give up hope, there are some emotionally mature women out there

Seems to be a serious shortage of them in this country.

Galvasean

I am a friend wrote: »

OP, how did she get to be your gf if she didnt want to get into a relationship? Not being smart, I just dont understand...

Probably thought she was ready/wanted one, then later realised she wasn't. O something. I could care less TBH.

YFlyer

HellFireClub wrote: »

It's a lot more common than you think.

Don't I know.

Some girl approach me last night in a niteclub. We got on well. She did boast alot about herself and her job. We had a couple of drinks and kissed.

She gave me a very good compliment, I thanked her and jokingly pretended I was blushing. I usually don't give compliments immediately after receiving one and would wait till some time passby to say something. However, she was fishing for one off me the whole time so I said 'you're cute'. This didn't go down so well with her. It took ten minutes of chatting for me to be in her good books again and all was fine and dandy for the next few hours.

She did bring up the compliment a number of times later and it was wearing thin with me. I said goodbye to her at about 6 am from the hotel bar and went my merry way. I hate these silly games.

Handsome Bob

HellFireClub wrote: »

Seems to be a serious shortage of them in this country.

Uh oh. :pac:

I am a friend

HellFireClub wrote: »

Seems to be a serious shortage of them in this country.

Nice attitude - no wonder there is a shortage where you are...:rolleyes:

I am a friend

YFlyer wrote: »

I usually don't give compliments immediately after receiving one

So who was playing the game?

YFlyer

I am a friend wrote: »

So who was playing the game?

I'll give compliments when I feel the time is right, not immediately because somebody else did.

Galvasean

YFlyer wrote: »

I'll give compliments when I feel the time is right, not immediately because somebody else did.

Agreed. A compliment is meaningless if you're just doing it in response to recieving one of your own IMO.

I am a friend

Galvasean wrote: »

Agreed. A compliment is meaningless if you're just doing it in response to recieving one of your own IMO.

Of course but making a conscious decision / having a strategy of not complimenting someone because they have just complimented you is game playing...

Galvasean

I am a friend wrote: »

Of course but making a conscious decision / having a strategy of not complimenting someone because they have just complimented you is game playing...

Is that what YFlyer said though?

YFlyer

Didn't have a strategy of not complimenting her. Was intended of having a conversation with her to know her better. She was fishing for compliments.

getzls

Galvasean wrote: »

"Hey I have been thinking...". Basically she tells me that things 'are still complicated' with her and her ex and she needs to 'sort out whats going on with him.

She's shagging him again, tell her to feck off.

DanWall

It's all fundermental. You go out with a girl/fellar a few times, it takes a few dates to get to know the true person, if you fall in love you stay together, if you don't, one of you says goodby and you move on.

Tandey

YFlyer wrote: »

I'll give compliments when I feel the time is right, not immediately because somebody else did.

Why did she not look cute or beautiful enough at the time (presuming she got all done up for her night out) to give her one of those compliments straight away jaysus some lads and their mind games lol

Count Duckula

Tandey wrote: »

Why did she not look cute or beautiful enough at the time (presuming she got all done up for her night out) to give her one of those compliments straight away jaysus some lads and their mind games lol

Hardly. He has said numerous times now that he gives compliments when he feels the time is right to give a compliment. Being rushed into doing that simply because you've received one yourself is not reasonable if you're uncomfortable doing that.

All he did was maintain his stance that he'd compliment her when he felt the time was right; you seem to be accusing him of "mind games" simply because he didn't return the girl's compliment with one of his own.

Perhaps if women didn't require such constant validation about their insecurities we wouldn't be having this discussion :rolleyes:

Tandey

Count Duckula wrote: »

Hardly. He has said numerous times now that he gives compliments when he feels the time is right to give a compliment. Being rushed into doing that simply because you've received one yourself is not reasonable if you're uncomfortable doing that.

All he did was maintain his stance that he'd compliment her when he felt the time was right; you seem to be accusing him of "mind games" simply because he didn't return the girl's compliment with one of his own.

Perhaps if women didn't require such constant validation about their insecurities we wouldn't be having this discussion :rolleyes:

No sir im not 'accusing' him of anything, im simply saying that if he was interested in her enough to chat with her for a while maybe he was attracted to her enough to compliment how she looked straight away which would be an obvious thing to do.

I would compliment how she looked upon meeting her(if i was attracted to her) i wouldn't wait till the end of the night to compliment a nice looking woman that i have met and been chatting to for the night:rolleyes:

You make out as if giving compliments is a hard thing to do or something with phrases like ''being rushed'' and ''when he feels the time is right'' ffs just be mannerly and compliment her why make such a big deal out of it??

Tandey

Count Duckula wrote: »

Perhaps if women didn't require such constant validation about their insecurities we wouldn't be having this discussion :rolleyes:

I dunno about that last sentence as my missus doesn't have any sort of 'insecurities' herself but going by this thread some lads need too stop whinging, grow some balls and get on with their life plenty of good fish in the sea.

*leaves thread quietly.

Mallei

Count Duckula wrote: »

Perhaps if women didn't require such constant validation about their insecurities we wouldn't be having this discussion :rolleyes:

Judging by the persistent theme of self-pity that permeates this thread, I'd say on a quick read that it actually appears to be men who require "constant validation about their insecurities".

I wonder if some of the lads in here have considered that their lack of success with women might be because of the fundamental lack of respect they seem to have for them?

Handsome Bob

Mallei wrote: »

I wonder if some of the lads in here have considered that their lack of success with women might be because of the fundamental lack of respect they seem to have for them?

Has a lack of respect been shown in this thread?

Mallei

LZ5by5 wrote: »

Has a lack of respect been shown in this thread?

Inferring all women possess some kind of psychic hive mind, are flaky, unreliable, emotionally unstable and unbalanced, and that all those points contribute to these poor men being unable to find decent, loving relationships is a lack of respect.

It's saying that there couldn't possibly be anything wrong with me, it must be her!

Handsome Bob

Mallei wrote: »

Inferring all women possess some kind of psychic hive mind, are flaky, unreliable, emotionally unstable and unbalanced, and that all those points contribute to these poor men being unable to find decent, loving relationships is a lack of respect.

It's saying that there couldn't possibly be anything wrong with me, it must be her!

Fair point, and I'd agree, no need for generalisations.

I think that deep down, when it comes to both sexes, we know that something isn't right. There will always be warning signs, so it's up to yourself to see them. To have the confidence to walk away rather than hoping against hope that things will work out.

That being said, there are just some pure bad eggs, of both gender. Galva unfortunately came across one such person. All you can do is chalk it down to experience and learn to pick yourself back up.

galwaybetty

I have huge sympathy for you Galva, I've been on the receiving end of that line myself. I think that there are a number of possibilities:

1. She genuinely wanted to get over her ex and move on with you, but she is still in love with him.

2. She met him recently and something happened....and doesnt have the ladyballs to tell you.

3. She liked you enough to date you, but not enough to be in a relationship with you.

The third option blows, but we have all been there. You like someone initially, they are great craic....and then after a while you realise that the relationship isnt deepening at all. You're not getting any closer, youre just coasting. They have done nothing wrong, so you come up with an excuse. Or at least thats what women do..... Ive seen and experienced men who a) Just stop texting b) are awful til the woman ends it with them.

Personally I think that after the 2nd date you should probably know if you like them enough to date them, whether there is something there. Thats the appropriate time to end it, not weeks down the line. I'm going to try to 'screen' a little more carefully!

May I just say that I think that saying it in a text message lacked class and sensitivity, and Im sure you deserve better.

Also, on a side note-hate hate hate the 'can we be friends' thing. So condescending.

sam34

ok, this thread has deviated from the OP quite a lot, and i think we're done here now.

locked