How hard is it to emigrate to Israel?

whiteboy

Basically there are a myriad of reasons, it's essentially for the Mediterranean climate, but how difficult would it be to gain citizenship?

Metallergy

just put on a yank accent. should be second nature, the amount of exposure..

partyatmygaff

With the current situation in Egypt and Tunisia i'd think twice before leaving for Israel.

starbelgrade

whiteboy wrote: »

how difficult would it be to gain citizenship?

I don't think you need to gain citizenship to emigrate there. Normally, a visa is all that's required.

MrStuffins

Chop the top of your mickey off. So when they ask you for your passport to prove your Isreali, just say "no need" and whip it out!

They'll let you right in!

tenchi-fan

You need to be a Jew. And I don't mean following Jewish beliefs or customs. You have to fit their definition of Jewish. This is basically to keep out less desirable Jews like Africans who claim Jewish heritage.

Dangerous Man

Israel. Odd choice. Anyway, I'm sure this thread will be a success.

KylieWyley

whiteboy wrote: »

it's essentially for the Mediterranean climate

go to Italy then.

EU. Free movement of people.

LondonIrish90

whiteboy wrote: »

Basically there are a myriad of reasons, it's essentially for the Mediterranean climate, but how difficult would it be to gain citizenship?

Convert to Judaism, it entitles you to Israeli citizenship

Israel is a beautiful country, Tel Aviv especially is a fantastic city. Women aren't bad either!

LondonIrish90

LondonIrish90 wrote: »

Convert to Judaism, it entitles you to Israeli citizenship.

You need to have a Jewish mother to be "Jewish"

Metallergy

i'd say you're more concerned with raising the climate here tbh

starbelgrade

Deleted User wrote: »

You need to have a Jewish mother to be "Jewish"

You only need an Irish granny to be Irish.

It's called the "Jack Charlton Rule".

whiteboy

tenchi-fan wrote: »

You need to be a Jew. And I don't mean following Jewish beliefs or customs. You have to fit their definition of Jewish. This is basically to keep out less desirable Jews like Africans who claim Jewish heritage.

I agree, it's an odd choice but think of the heat! I'd rather be there sunbathing on Tel Aviv beach than be sitting here in this raining muck!

LondonIrish90

Deleted User wrote: »

You need to have a Jewish mother to be "Jewish"

No you don't. If your mother is Jewish, you are considered Jewish by default. You can still convert though if you are not.

MrStuffins

Deleted User wrote: »

You need to have a Jewish mother to be "Jewish"

Get your mother to convert to Judaism, simples!

Metallergy

ok here:

attain replica trunks (2nd from left), swim.. if spotted rinse/brandish, before the turkey shoot begins. d'yis realize who i am.. some rubbish..

- n good luck?

Father Damo

You have to be the son of a Jew, or save the life of a Jew.

No, wait, that was the Stonecutters.

Personally I wouldnt contribute a penny to the economy of the murderous government in terms of emigrating there, buying their produce etc etc.

Sergeant

Father Damo wrote: »

Personally I wouldnt contribute a penny to the economy of the murderous government in terms of emigrating there, buying their produce etc etc.

Better turn off that mobile phone so. And rip that Intel processor out of your computer. Better make sure you don't use websites that have EMC storage arrays to store data or transactions.

Sungodbr

I hear the Rachael Corrie do a nice cruise from Irelandf to Israel and apparently they do a day trip through the gaza tunnels into the heart of Zion, lovely trip to see if you really like the real chosen land

whiteboy

I am amazed by the knowledge boardsies have of Jewish beliefs and customs. It is true to be considered rightfully Jewish your mother has to come from Jewish stock.

kraggy

LondonIrish90 wrote: »

No you don't. If your mother is Jewish, you are considered Jewish by default. You can still convert though if you are not.

Out of all religions, Judaism is the hardest to convert to. They don't just take you in cause you know all the stuff and declare your heartfelt belief in it. Even after that, they'll doubt you and put before you test after test.

Why anyone would want to convert to the religion or live in Israel is beyond me though.

Just read the news and you'll understand where I'm coming from.

Run_to_da_hills

partyatmygaff wrote: »

With the current situation in Egypt and Tunisia i'd think twice before leaving for Israel.

Apply for six months work on a Kabab and see if you like the country first.

whiteboy

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

Apply for six months work on a Kabab and see if you like the country first.

kibbutz!?

Cavehill Red

whiteboy wrote: »

Basically there are a myriad of reasons, it's essentially for the Mediterranean climate, but how difficult would it be to gain citizenship?

Virtually impossible unless you're a Jew confirmed as such by an Orthodox rabbi.

The reason for this is that Israel is a racist, apartheid state which only permits immigration via a process called 'Aliyah'.
This means that the indigenous Arabic Palestinians, whose land Israel occupies, must be ethnically cleansed from the land and it be filled in turn with imported Jews from other countries.
Unlike elsewhere, but quite akin to their nemesis the Nazi Party of mid-20th century Germany, Israel is built on a blood myth that it must be a 'pure' state, filled with Jews.
In turn, Jews are as much an ethnicity or race as a religion. One cannot easily convert. They do not proselytise.
Furthermore, it's an absolute kip of a place. Metal detectors and armed guards on the doors of shops, army kids wandering around with uzis everywhere, invasive searches, highly militarised, the risk of running into terrorism.
There's a reason so many young Israelis live elsewhere or else take years out in places like India and Thailand (two of the few countries they're welcome in). Their homeland is a Nazi regime.

johnmcdnl

whiteboy wrote: »

I agree, it's an odd choice but think of the heat! I'd rather be there sunbathing on Tel Aviv beach than be sitting here in this raining muck!

until the bombs start dropping down - and everyone in ireland cheers as israel burns

Sungodbr

gonna be some rate of tax there as well, when the egyptians attack:P

Cavehill Red

Oh, and I never mentioned the cockroaches. They're everywhere - shops, hotels, bars, restaurants. It's disgusting.
Funny, isn't it, how multiculturalism is considered the desirable thing in every country bar Israel?
The last country to have blood laws for citizenship was South Africa, and it was a pariah state. Yet somehow Israel gets away with their blood myth nation.

af_thefragile

Why would you wanna go to Israel in particular?

If its just for the climate, there are so many other brilliant places to go to. Such as Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece... And if you want something different, Morocco is an amazing place too... Much easier to live in these places than in Israel.

whiteboy

af_thefragile wrote: »

Why would you wanna go to Israel in particular?

If its just for the climate, there are so many other brilliant places to go to. Such as Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece... And if you want something different, Morocco is an amazing place too... Much easier to live in these places than in Israel.

It being different is a part of it, I'd like to meet some Jews!

Sergeant

whiteboy wrote: »

I'd like to meet some Jews!

Manhattan.

af_thefragile

whiteboy wrote: »

It being different is a part of it, I'd like to meet some Jews!

Well you can meet them in Ireland too. Plenty even in UK and USA. No need to go live in Israel. Unless you're Jewish and you buy into that "promised land" crap...

Cavehill Red

Sergeant wrote: »

Manhattan.

Or Golders Green in London. Or even Terenure.

strobe

whiteboy wrote: »

Basically there are a myriad of reasons, it's essentially for the Mediterranean climate, but how difficult would it be to gain citizenship?

Yeah man. Let's heavily tax sugar. Swine flu is out to get you. Sunscreen is bad for you. Israel is where you should move to..........

If you are a real life person I so want to get high with you. Let's make it happen man. Get your people to phone my people and we will set up a date.

Run_to_da_hills

Cavehill Red wrote: »

Oh, and I never mentioned the cockroaches. They're everywhere - shops, hotels, bars, restaurants. It's disgusting..

There in 86, there was a cat playing with what I thought was a mouse outside the hotel room, looked a bit closer and saw it was a fcuking cockroach.:eek:

You will also trip over soldiers everywhere you go in Israel as they have compulsory drafting between the ages 17 and 21, They are on the busses, trains, bars etc pointing their guns everywhere, even teachers in charge of school kids carry weapons.

If you are speaking to any Arabs, and they ask you what country are you in, don't what ever you do say "Israel", It is worse than calling Derry Londonderry to republican.

UglyBolloxFace

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

If you are speaking to any Arabs, and they ask you what country are you in, don't what ever you do say "Israel", It is worse than calling Derry Londonderry to republican.

So what country should you say?

wurzlitzer

it is easy
Just get a flight you lightweight

KeithAFC

They would let me. Im one of the long lost sons of israel.






Waits for it..

FlutterinBantam

If your real name is Ben-Ali Muhammed al-Rasheer I'd say......very hard.

Sergeant

KeithAFC wrote: »

They would let me. Im one of the long lost sons of israel.






Waits for it..

I get it Keith. You're from Norn Iron and you want to remain part of the United Kingdom. To be honest, most people couldn't give a fúck either way.

tallaghtmick

whiteboy wrote: »

but how difficult would it be to gain citizenship?

beat a muslim easy goin

james098

weird choice :eek:

mattjack

bet ya your sorry ya asked , whiteboy ?

Run_to_da_hills

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

So what country should you say?

PALESTINE.

seamus

You'll need to learn Hebrew if you want to be able to function in the long term.

Completely useless language outside of Israel.

The Saint

Just fly over to the country, get a three month tourist visa stamped in your passport and see how you like it. You won't be getting any other type of visa soon since all foreign ministry officials and embassy staff are on strike.

And while you might move there for the weather, which is generally nice, it can get suffocatingly hot in the height of summer to the point where is is difficule to breathe, walk, sleep or do anything but sit inside with the air conditioning on.

The Saint

seamus wrote: »

You'll need to learn Hebrew if you want to be able to function in the long term.

Completely useless language outside of Israel.

Meh, not really unless he wants to work in the service industry but even then not everyone speaks in Hebrew. Most people speak good English and its very easy to get by without Hebrew.

Mike 1972

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

It is worse than calling Derry Londonderry to republican.

Not as much fun though :pac:

RichieC

They don't like the Irish much in Israel.

Gummy Panda

Join their army propoganda machine like that girl from cork

The Saint

RichieC wrote: »

They don't like the Irish much in Israel.

They don't particularlt care really. I've have met quite a few that are really interested in Ireland and want to travel there.

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Join their army propoganda machine like that girl from cork

He'd need to kill half his brain cells in order to be as ignorant as that though. He seems to be able to spell reasonably well so he might be ok.

Zebra3

You can read about Israel's racist attitude to the Irish below.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/uns-irish-battalions-bid-farewell-to-a-long-bitter-tour-in-lebanon-687708.html