Haven't touched a drop in...

Amazingfun

enoughalready wrote: »

Just in the door from a night out for a friend's birthday. It was so hard being out with everyone else drinking and the temptation was very strong! I nearly had a slip but refrained thankfully.

Just curious....are you still going to meetings?

Carpet diem

marienbad wrote: »

I simply never go to pubs , I have no business there . Restaurants with family and friends absolutely no problem but the focus is on the food and the company .

On those rare occasions I do end up in the pub I now find them just so boring and I move on as soon as it is respectable.

Stick with it and soon enough your habits will change .

Very true that they are boring - key is to have a just care about yourself attitude and leave whenever it suits possibly without saying goodbye cause I find it just draws attention on you.

Tramps Like Us

Haven't drank a drop since January and besides that slip up nothing since october.

Have moved to a new town for a new job and I don't know anyone here at all so my social life is very poor. (non existent. I really like the job though, its just the weekends that are a bit rough) Previously I'd hang out with my friends and head out with them, but I have no friends here. Going to a pub or club alone and being sober is not really an option for me, it would be a bit too awkward, its fine when I'm with people I know. I know if I went to a pub tonight for the match and drank I'd get talking to people and end up in a club and maybe make some new friends. It's made worse by the fact that the town I'm living in now has a great night life and is popular with stags etc so the place is always buzzing. Its very tempting today tbh and I'm trying to rationalise going on the lash. But I'm not gonna do it - I'll order a takeaway or something and watch the match at home.

Does anyone have any suggestions about how to make new friends - I had hoped that I would make new friends in work, and while I have they commute long distances so meeting up at the weekend isnt really an option considering I don't have a car. I've never had to consciously look for new friends before, I just naturally made some, in school, college etc. I'm struggling a bit tbh. Sadly a sports club is not an option for me presently because I'm recovering from surgery and an injury.

My life has improved in so many ways since I stopped drinking but I'm not handling loneliness very well

enoughalready

How about joining an AA meeting, like minded people in there from all walks of life, great support system / network and after a while you'll have a bunch of new mates that share your desire to stay sober and live an enriched life.

Sunnyisland

I am out in portugal at the moment and last week went to a local AA meeting,it's at least 4 years since I have been at one.

I found it great, loads of different nationalities but all on the same road, I had forgot how interesting and informative these meetings can be, plus I have now opened up a new social circle and it's now a permanent fixture for me each week, all good here for me.

Amazingfun

realies wrote: »

I am out in portugal at the moment and last week went to a local AA meeting,it's at least 4 years since I have been at one.

Welcome back

enoughalready

Amazingfun wrote: »

Just curious....are you still going to meetings?

I'm not Amazingfun, to be honest I haven't been to a meeting in 5 weeks. Felt like I had no need to go until this weekend which shook me up a bit! Will defo be attending the next one. As the saying goes, "if you are not working on your recovery - you're working on your relapse".

Amazingfun

For me, now, after these years of sobriety (close to 13) , I go to AA meetings to welcome newcomers (and old-comers who are returning ) and to try and give back some of the help and fellowship I've received. I don't "need" meetings in the way I did when I was new, now I appreciate them and I am mostly grateful I am one of the folks who has stayed alive and sober.
We see so many who don't make it

The one thing I know is true is that whatever you give in this thing will be returned to you tenfold as time marches on.
Glad you're going to get back to meetings, and even happier that you didn't have to drink or get hurt in some way to motivate you to do so.

enoughalready

Amazingfun wrote: »

For me, now, after these years of sobriety (close to 13) , I go to AA meetings to welcome newcomers (and old-comers who are returning ) and to try and give back some of the help and fellowship I've received. I don't "need" meetings in the way I did when I was new, now I appreciate them and I am mostly grateful I am one of the folks who has stayed alive and sober.
We see so many who don't make it

The one thing I know is true is that whatever you give in this thing will be returned to you tenfold as time marches on.
Glad you're going to get back to meetings, and even happier that you didn't have to drink or get hurt in some way to motivate you to do so.

Thanks Amazingfun ~ I'm so glad I didn't give in to temptation. I talked it through with a very good friend and explained how vulnerable I feel in pubs and around people who are drinking. I have the BIG BOOK here beside my bed and plan to read a chapter or two before bed. Really scary how close I got to falling! Very grateful that I'm still sober...I have this one AA group that I feel really comfortable in and try to go to that one over any other one, I want to gain a few friends and for them to get to know me and my story so they know how and if they want to support me, some have given me their numbers, I was thrilled but embarrassed to ring anyone. Felt I would be annoying them...must learn not to think that way....

Diablo Verde

8 months!!

The time continues to fly by. Had a few shaky moments in the last month, where I considered starting again. I just looked at it logically and made the sensible decision. The longer it's been since I stopped, a bit of complacency has seeped in as the "bad memories" begin to fade.

On the plus side, have settled in nicely to life in Spain and am getting a good bit of teaching work. I've also started marathon training for Valencia in November Life is great!!!

Tramps Like Us

enoughalready wrote: »

How about joining an AA meeting, like minded people in there from all walks of life, great support system / network and after a while you'll have a bunch of new mates that share your desire to stay sober and live an enriched life.

I have but I don't think it's for me. I don't think I really was/am an alcoholic, it was a problem for sure and it was heading that direction though.

What I've done is just arrange some things for the weekend, bought concert tickets etc, key is to keep busy.

enoughalready

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

I have but I don't think it's for me. I don't think I really was/am an alcoholic, it was a problem for sure and it was heading that direction though.

What I've done is just arrange some things for the weekend, bought concert tickets etc, key is to keep busy.

Sometimes I feel like that too. I think its the label and stigma that frightens me. I remember saying it aloud that I was an alcoholic the first time in a meeting and it didn't sit right with me but as the months went on I started to accept I am an alcoholic. I may not be a stereotypical, media portrayed alcoholic but I have a disease called alcoholism and it means if I drink alcohol my life becomes unmanageable and I self destruct. I simply cannot touch a drop! My sobriety was tested last weekend and that was because I hadn't been going to meetings or reading my books to help me. I thought I could do it alone but alas I need the social support and even when I don't think I need it, its just great to sit and listen and meet new like minded and diverse people who are kind with their advice and time. Best of luck anyway 'Tramps Like Us'

GerB40

When I first posted on this thread I was 33 days off the drink and cautiously optimistic about about the coming weeks. Yesterday marked my 12th week sober and it's been 99% fantastic. Exercise, it would seem, really is the key to get through those shítty days you're bound to have.

But (and this is a big but), week 10 brought about a horrible change that I can't explain. I felt worse than I've felt since the day I decided to stop drinking.
I went through "the horrors" for 8 days straight, the shakes, the sweats (I'm sure most people here know what the horrors entail so I won't go into detail).

My question is, what the fùck was that about? I kept with my healthy diet, exercised like I had been and felt better than I had in years and then this shìt. Is this normal?

You dear boardsies have helped me so much thus far and I'd greatly appreciate any feedback.

Thanks in advance☺

GerB40

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

I have but I don't think it's for me. I don't think I really was/am an alcoholic, it was a problem for sure and it was heading that direction though.

What I've done is just arrange some things for the weekend, bought concert tickets etc, key is to keep busy.

Well Tramps Like us, all I can say is "baby we were born to run":-). Seriously though you seem to have a smart head on your shoulders. Keep at it and you'll be alright.
I just have to ask, are concerts not a bit tough to stay sober at? Practically every concert I've been to have basically been piss ups for the majority of the attendees so the temptation must be unreal..

Sunnyisland

GerB40 wrote: »

When I first posted on this thread I was 33 days off the drink and cautiously optimistic about about the coming weeks. Yesterday marked my 12th week sober and it's been 99% fantastic. Exercise, it would seem, really is the key to get through those shítty days you're bound to have.

But (and this is a big but), week 10 brought about a horrible change that I can't explain. I felt worse than I've felt since the day I decided to stop drinking.
I went through "the horrors" for 8 days straight, the shakes, the sweats (I'm sure most people here know what the horrors entail so I won't go into detail).

My question is, what the fùck was that about? I kept with my healthy diet, exercised like I had been and felt better than I had in years and then this shìt. Is this normal?

You dear boardsies have helped me so much thus far and I'd greatly appreciate any feedback.

Thanks in advance☺

There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts at most a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.

The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.

Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.

Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.

You can read more here :-)


http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

GerB40

realies wrote: »

There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts at most a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.

The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.

Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.

Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.

You can read more here :-)


http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

Thank you so much for that realies, I thought I was going mad.. I can honestly say the folks on this thread have been a massive help for me through this and for that I'm eternally grateful.

auldgranny

realies wrote: »

There are two stages of withdrawal. The first stage is the acute stage, which usually lasts at most a few weeks. During this stage, you may experience physical withdrawal symptoms. But every drug is different, and every person is different.

The second stage of withdrawal is called the Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). During this stage you'll have fewer physical symptoms, but more emotional and psychological withdrawal symptoms.

Post-acute withdrawal occurs because your brain chemistry is gradually returning to normal. As your brain improves the levels of your brain chemicals fluctuate as they approach the new equilibrium causing post-acute withdrawal symptoms.

Most people experience some post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Whereas in the acute stage of withdrawal every person is different, in post-acute withdrawal most people have the same symptoms.

You can read more here :-)


http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

Jesus that sounds rough. I am only on day 3 (again) I always imagined the first month must be the worst and once you got over that it would be hard but doable.

Sunnyisland

auldgranny wrote: »

Jesus that sounds rough. I am only on day 3 (again) I always imagined the first month must be the worst and once you got over that it would be hard but doable.

Yep it is rough, sure show me something that's good for you that's easy :-)

It's great your starting again as thats the most important thing

Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed. Which means you haven’t really failed yet; you’ve just found a bunch of ways that don’t work. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss

Go forward auldgranny and learn how you fell last time.

auldgranny

realies wrote: »

Yep it is rough, sure show me something that's good for you that's easy :-)

It's great your starting again as thats the most important thing

Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed. Which means you haven’t really failed yet; you’ve just found a bunch of ways that don’t work. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss

Go forward auldgranny and learn how you fell last time.

I don't even know realies. There seems to be no definite trigger. Yesterday I was in great form, no notion of drinking and then got a compulsion to buy it. No craving, just a compulsion. I didn't buy but my heart was thumping till I left town. Thanks for your continued encouragement. There is a great sense of support here.

auldgranny

realies wrote: »

Yep it is rough, sure show me something that's good for you that's easy :-)

It's great your starting again as thats the most important thing

Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Sometimes you have to fail a thousand times to succeed. Which means you haven’t really failed yet; you’ve just found a bunch of ways that don’t work. So don’t get so hung up on a few failed attempts that you miss

Go forward auldgranny and learn how you fell last time.

I don't even know realies. There seems to be no definite trigger. Yesterday I was in great form, no notion of drinking and then got a compulsion to buy it. No craving, just a compulsion. I didn't buy but my heart was thumping till I left town. Thanks for your continued encouragement. There is a great sense of support here.

Amazingfun

Good insight in seeing there doesn't have to be any kind of reason for wanting to drink.

I find those who keep feeding "narratives" in their heads that permit drinking (good reasons, bad reasons, take your pick) struggle most with relapse. The most freeing thing for me after I got sober in 2002 was the deep and full acceptance that I drank no matter what was going on, lol, good, bad or ugly. I realized I absolutely adored alcohol and always would in a way.
Letting go of these stories that allowed drinking removed any excuse or delusional reason my alcohol-adoring head might conjure up someday and I've not had a drink since.

auldgranny

Amazingfun wrote: »

Good insight in seeing there doesn't have to be any kind of reason for wanting to drink.

I find those who keep feeding "narratives" in their heads that permit drinking (good reasons, bad reasons, take your pick) struggle most with relapse. The most freeing thing for me after I got sober in 2002 was the deep and full acceptance that I drank no matter what was going on, lol, good, bad or ugly. I realized I absolutely adored alcohol and always would in a way.
Letting go of these stories that allowed drinking removed any excuse or delusional reason my alcohol-adoring head might conjure up someday and I've not had a drink since.

Yes, that sounds like me. I have done some really stupid things.
1. Drinking after a week to celebrate being a week sober.
2. Drinking after a month because now I had gone a month it was proof I was not an alcoholic so I could handle my drink.
3. Off the drink 3 weeks when a friend asked me to sample a home made wine. Afraid I would offend him I drank a glass (which was rotten btw) and bought 2 bottles of wine on the way home to "get rid of the bad taste" of the other stuff.
I just love to drink.

mickydoomsux

auldgranny wrote: »

Yes, that sounds like me. I have done some really stupid things.
1. Drinking after a week to celebrate being a week sober.
2. Drinking after a month because now I had gone a month it was proof I was not an alcoholic so I could handle my drink.

These two points are what i keep falling down on.

Rewarding myself with drink for staying off drink for X amount of time is idiotic.

Drinking again because i can totally handle it because i didn't drink for X amount of time is idiotic.

auldgranny

auldgranny wrote: »

I don't even know realies. There seems to be no definite trigger. Yesterday I was in great form, no notion of drinking and then got a compulsion to buy it. No craving, just a compulsion. I didn't buy but my heart was thumping till I left town. Thanks for your continued encouragement. There is a great sense of support here.

Something realies posted a few months ago has stuck with me every time I think of having a drink: play the tape forward. Now, I do. If I have that one drink, what next? I know precisely what is next.

I'll keep drinking until I can take no more, and I will have achieved nothing productive with my time. Then, I'll get up the following day and start drinking early if it's not a work day and if it's a work day my entire focus will be on drinking (until I can drink no more) when I get home. I'll lie, and lie and lie to deceive everybody who loves me, and who needs me. I'll carry on the deceit by collecting loved ones from places, conscious that I am over the limit but aware that my very driving can act as "proof" that I wasn't drinking. And so on ad infinitum. If I take that drink things will spiral out of control (a very accurate turn of phrase). And what, pray tell, is at the end of it?

Two possible outcomes. First, my self-destructive tendency brings about early death in a scene reminiscent of the main character in the film Leaving Las Vegas, but not before it has damaged the hopes, dreams and love of people who have only shown me kindness and acceptance. That sort of death would be inevitable as my drinking had become infinitely greater in the past few years, and for the first time in my life I had taken risks like drink driving which had always repulsed me. A pattern of self-destructive behaviour (and reduced productivity) had been established and accelerated and there was no doubt that I would lose everything within a few years if I didn't stop.

The second possible outcome is what I'm trying for now - a productive, healthy man who once again feels his emotions and is willing to love and care for his family because life is short and it is an honour to be loved, and the most damning dishonour to return that love with deceit and self-absorbed indifference. If I cannot have enough respect for my own life, and I still don't unfortunately, being off alcohol allows me to feel the trials, tribulations and emotions of people close to me who need me. It is so long since I have really felt that, since I have returned the quality of love and honesty to them which they have given to me. Out of that deep personal dishonour, I'm now working on myself to become strong enough to be honourable in every area of my life. The potential is enormous; nearly 8 months off the drink and I'm finally beginning to relate to another poster's memorable "I feel infinite!" self-description. I know myself well enough to know that there is no such thing as "I'll have one drink". It has never worked like that for me. And if I remain honest about that each time I "play the scene out", I will live a much more honourable life and positively affect the lives of people who need my love and care. That's about as basic as my thinking is now.

mickydoomsux

Yeah, the concept of "just one drink" or "having a few" simply doesn't exist for some people, myself included.

It's one of the vital things to realise early on if you are serious about quitting.

RingTheAlarm!

RingTheAlarm! wrote: »

This was me this time last year. Honestly, don't even think that far right ahead right now and instead just look forward to the break.
For me like yourself it was going to countries I've only dreamed of and seeing friends who I actually had great times drinking with. If your friends are really your friends, they'll encourage you more than anything. All of my friends were impressed by me more than anything. I drink an awful lot of caffeine (coffee, Coca-Cola, etc) and in hot weather this won't do you any favours either. I personally think orange juice is a great substitute, especially during the summer. When you're in those places just remind yourself when you're getting up in the morning that you can actually take it all in rather than being passed out in your bed or struggling to get up to see sights and dreading the thought of being stuck in the blistering heat all day long. Also, use the money that you'd spend on drink to save up for something else as a reward

Back from the holidays and you were spot on, although passing 500ml bottles of Nastro Azzuro for €1.39 in a supermarket almost put me in a fever. It helped in softening my cough that beer was ridiculously expensive (and the servings much smaller) in restaurants, so I ended up paying for a lot of sparking water at every meal instead. I survived on ridiculous amounts of sparking water and lemon and Coke Zero, and developed a newfound love/distraction for all sorts of ice creams.


When I get on top of my weight problem I'll feel more confident that my drink problem is in the past, if that makes sense. At the moment there's far too much substitution going on, and I'm currently some 35kg overweight. However, I do feel stronger now that I've survived several weddings and a long holiday in the sun without succumbing to drinking alcohol so that's definitely a first in my book.

beano345

2 months now had a relapse and had 6 pints one night,to say I felt sick as a dog the next day would be an understatement it really is poison.had a good stretch of 10 months before that.I think most problem drinkers suffer with the illusion that next time it will be different or they will be able to control it but it always leads down the same road to....misery!its an illusion that will drive many to the gates of death.

I found this excerpt a while ago and it summed up my drinking:

The next planet was inhabited by a tippler. This was a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into deep dejection.

"What are you doing there?" he said to the tippler, whom he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.

"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.

"Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince.

"So that I may forget," replied the tippler.

"Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.

"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.

"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.

"Ashamed of drinking!" The tipler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.

And the little prince went away, puzzled.

enoughalready

“I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years.”
― Heather King, Parched

auldgranny

7days. One week. Kinda pleased for 2 reasons. First reason it is a week.
Second reason.... Always when I give up drink it is kinda negative......I can't drink today...... I better not drink today....I hope I don't drink today. I need to not think about drink.
This week I concentrated on positives.
1. My skin looks better.
2. I lost 4 lbs.
3. I am working on more energy.
4. I am working on a new me, slimmer, fitter, sharper.
5. I AM IN CONTROL. !!!!

Sunnyisland

How we all doing ? I know it's a very quite time of year but it's also a very testing time for a lot of us folks here.

Keep posting, no matter what, it's good to get it out of ya...