Haven't touched a drop in...

realdanbreen

Candlemass wrote: »

Well Done, im back at the start again,just after a holiday..temptation got the better of me. but reading your post has lifted my spirit's.

I remember when I was a few months off the booze and we were at the airport going on holiday. I kept hoping that my wife might say ' Sure you might as well have a drink, you've been great for the last few months and we're on holiday after all'
She never said it and boy am I glad now. You're back at the start but that's
OK, we have all been at the start, sometimes several times. You're going to be OK mate and you know why? Because you deserve to be OK, and so do all of us who have problems with booze, f**k the booze I say.

Sigma Force

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

Thanks so much for your lovely response and advice Sigma Force. I hope I didn't sound like I had no support in my post as my husband has been very encouraging I just found it difficult when nothing actually changed about our social life except suddenly I was designated driver!

When I explained to him a couple of months ago that I sometimes found it tough to watch him drink all night he calmed down and he has also accepted that there may be nights where I will just want to bolt a bit early and go home to a cup of tea, that's very very different to how I used to be so I think it's just a settling in period where we get used to new routines!

A lot of the time though I am still on the dancefloor for the night or having the chats and this has honestly made me happy to learn I'm not all that different when I'm sober, just a lot less of a liability and probably a lot less annoying!! I was worried about being seen as 'the boring one' but it's just a case of getting out of there when everyone around me is talking nonsense and won't remember if I was there or not anyway!

It does take time to adjust for everyone, I sometimes think it takes longer for family and friends to get used to this new sober person they've found. But as you say you don't change as in you are still the same person just a more healthy and more well adjusted version of yourself and that's what matters. Once people realise you are happier and better off sober it'll rub off on them. I still worry my OH will have a drink he has no intention of but it's very easy for family members to think it's just a phase or it won't last that's natural after what some have been through but I'm happy to say my OH has proved me wrong it does take time to build up trust. But again it depends on the situation everyone is different. As I've been told don't waste time on what ifs just enjoy him as he is now and take it day by day. You sound like a very strong person and you are very focused

drydub

Day 71 for me now.

Have been on holidays / airport and didn't phase me too much. This bank holiday has been a small bit of Meh but it's only because the weather has been fine.
I bought 6 X 0% Heinekens and have enjoyed a couple of them but just being safe and avoiding social occasions in a beer garden.

Amazingfun

Heineken 0.0 contains less than 0,03% alcohol

https://www.heineken.com/Heineken00/FAQ


Fair play to anyone who can drink this stuff and be satisfied.

I have been in AA a long time now though, and have seen more than a few eventually return to drinking the strong stuff starting off this way. I know .03 % is extremely low, but for alkies of the chronic type avoiding alcohol all together, in any form, is essential. The "allergic to alcohol" theory posits that even small amount of alcohol can (in some drinkers) begin to set off a craving, and I believe it due to my own experience/witnessing it happen in others.

It's up to each person of course, just an FYI

drydub

Amazingfun wrote: »

https://www.heineken.com/Heineken00/FAQ


Fair play to anyone who can drink this stuff and be satisfied.

I have been in AA a long time now though, and have seen more than a few eventually return to drinking the strong stuff starting off this way. I know .03 % is extremely low, but for alkies of the chronic type avoiding alcohol all together, in any form, is essential. The "allergic to alcohol" theory posits that even small amount of alcohol can (in some drinkers) begin to set off a craving, and I believe it due to my own experience/witnessing it happen in others.

It's up to each person of course, just an FYI

Nah totally appreciate that. To be fair on a may bank holiday I could have easily cleared 12 pints of the full fat Heineken on a single night so having these in the fridge is working fine for me.

realdanbreen

drydub wrote: »

Nah totally appreciate that. To be fair on a may bank holiday I could have easily cleared 12 pints of the full fat Heineken on a single night so having these in the fridge is working fine for me.

It's very rare - in fact it's never happened ! - that I would be on the same wavelength as amazingfun, but I agree with his take on non/low alcoholic drink. Alcoholism, and let's face it, most posters on here are alcoholics, is IMO also about a state of mind. I ask myself as an alcoholic why do I need to be drinking something that looks like or pretends to be alcohol as opposed to say water or lucozade.

drydub

So day 102.

Was mad for the mental celebration of 90 days that when i get the three figures of 100 it kinda felt muted.

Not really giving drink a second thought to be honest. But always being alert and focused as i find the times im most triggered are the out of the blue moments id get a text or someone would suggest going out or seeing it in a group message etc.

But all good , if anything i wise i could tell 'day one me' that it 100% gets easier.

I do have occasional alcohol free beers, i dont overthink it. I accept what others have said but this is working for me.

RockRoad18

Hi all

RockRoad18

Alternatives to AA??

Hi all I am a male early thirties that had struggled with alcohol for some years now. I have gone to AA because that’s where you go if you have a problem with alcohol in Ireland and I found it a little intimidating and very few attendees were of my generation. Are there any alternatives in Dublin/Ireland?

Amazingfun

This thread (and others) have listed alternatives: Lifering, Rational Recovery , etc. And quick google will provide loads of other leads I am sure.

But just as an aside, my own AA group's membership is mostly comprised of people in their 20's and 30's, I am an oldie there now, lol. There are loads of young people in AA these days tbh. I came to AA first at a very young age, and even then there were quite a few younger members, I returned in 2002 at the age of 31 and haven't had a drink since, thank God

Anyhow, good luck!

tinpib

RockRoad18 wrote: »

Alternatives to AA??

Hi all I am a male early thirties that had struggled with alcohol for some years now. I have gone to AA because that’s where you go if you have a problem with alcohol in Ireland and I found it a little intimidating and very few attendees were of my generation. Are there any alternatives in Dublin/Ireland?

Yes, as mentioned do a bit of searching yourself. The sticky in this forum is a good start.

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057658188

I went to AA a few times in some of my many previous "never drinking agains", I found it good. What I got out of it was being able to relate to other people's stories, I never felt comfortable hanging round before or after.

So that's why I always recommend the stop drinking subreddit, it has all the good points of AA, for me anyway.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/

I just read the stories on there and get the same benefit as an AA meeting. But as always, everyone is different, you need to find what works for you and I say the most important thing for anyone is persistence.

RickDeckard

Day 71 for me.

Kevin O'Hara on You Tube has been a massive help, Ive been binging on his channel and the man talks a lot of sense about drink.

Check him out for some support:


https://www.youtube.com/user/AlcoholMasteryTV/videos

Sigma Force

RockRoad18 wrote: »

Alternatives to AA??

Hi all I am a male early thirties that had struggled with alcohol for some years now. I have gone to AA because that’s where you go if you have a problem with alcohol in Ireland and I found it a little intimidating and very few attendees were of my generation. Are there any alternatives in Dublin/Ireland?

Maybe try a meeting in a different area, sometimes it takes a few different ones to find one you're comfortable with. Just like with anything you might find you click better or habe a better vibe from somewhere else. Are you able to travel to bray? BCAT in bray is fantastic for one on one really supportive and practical too

Kilkenny2018

Hi all,

I have been reading this forum for a while and alot of inspirational stories and experiences that i can relate to.

I started drinking since i was 16 and my alcohol issues started when i was 24. Alcohol no longer made me giddy and happy like it used to and i started to become a very bitter drunk, and i started to blackout more times than not near the end of my ‘drinking career’. I would wake up hungover, depressed and ashamed of myself even if i did nothing wrong. The paranoia and fear was unreal. People would tell me what i said, did etc and i would die with embarrassment.

My breaking point was when i woke up so drunk after finishing a bottle of rum by myself and had to call in sick for work. I was ashamed and i promised myself enough was enough, i need to break the cycle and give it up altogether. The problem for me was that once i started, i found it hard to stop. That was in October 2016.

My life changed for the better since i made the decision. I am 30 now and I cannot believe how long it took me to see the light - alcohol was not suiting me and I was on downward spiral with my friends, family and work all because of it. Its like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and i am more stable, focused and level headed than ever before.

As a sidenote, I grew up with an alcoholic father who would become abusive towards me as i was the eldest so i got the brunt of his drunken agression and even when he wasnt drinking he was not a nice person to be around, I was always in fear of his next drinking session. This i feel has affected me and how i cope with stressful situations. It is only now that i no longer drink that i have started to review my life so far and come to terms with issues i have to resolve.

I don’t miss the hangovers or being drunk, i never thought i could do it but i am so happy i did!!

fat bloke

July 2012 for me.

Was quite a change for me physically, mentally, and more than anything else -socially. I think it's fair to say my life is objectively a lot more boring now, but a fuller one in the grand scheme of things.

scriba

Kilkenny2018 wrote: »

As a sidenote, I grew up with an alcoholic father who would become abusive towards me as i was the eldest so i got the brunt of his drunken agression and even when he wasnt drinking he was not a nice person to be around, I was always in fear of his next drinking session. This i feel has affected me and how i cope with stressful situations. It is only now that i no longer drink that i have started to review my life so far and come to terms with issues i have to resolve.

Same here, word for word. Thanks for posting, and well done.

tinpib

Was just thinking of this thread the other day, I am 2.5 years sober now, inching my way towards 1000 days.

I am amazed that the novelty factor of waking up and instantly going "ugghhh" and then being wide awake and realising I'm not hungover and instead am extremely well rested has not worn off.

Luckily I've always been a good sleeper, I've talked to people who are not and it sounds awful.

I have also realised that getting mentally tired at the end of the working day from being productive is natural, as is getting a solid 7-8 hours sleep every night and then waking up completely recharged and ready to do it all over again.

Falling asleep scuttered is not natural. And for years I woke up only 30/40% recharged maximum as I would have had "a few glasses of wine with my dinner". I just got used to functioning on that foggy reduced mental capacity. I didn't know any different.

My productivity has gone through the roof, I actually get things done now.

Tinwhistle*

22 days today and I'm happier than I've been in years

realdanbreen

tinpib wrote: »

Was just thinking of this thread the other day, I am 2.5 years sober now, inching my way towards 1000 days.

I am amazed that the novelty factor of waking up and instantly going "ugghhh" and then being wide awake and realising I'm not hungover and instead am extremely well rested has not worn off.

Luckily I've always been a good sleeper, I've talked to people who are not and it sounds awful.

I have also realised that getting mentally tired at the end of the working day from being productive is natural, as is getting a solid 7-8 hours sleep every night and then waking up completely recharged and ready to do it all over again.

Falling asleep scuttered is not natural. And for years I woke up only 30/40% recharged maximum as I would have had "a few glasses of wine with my dinner". I just got used to functioning on that foggy reduced mental capacity. I didn't know any different.

My productivity has gone through the roof, I actually get things done now.

Absolutely! I'm a while off it now but I still wake sometimes having dreampt I was on the lash the night before. The relief to realise it was a dream is brilliant.

mixed up

2 Day's, It's been almost 5 months since I've posted here and really fell hard, my last post was 63 days without drink and I went back to old habits.

My life is just so f**ked up I don't even know where to Start. I've been drinking so much the last few months, not going to work. I just feel so alone.

I've lost my license for drink driving, living in the country it's hard to get places or do anything. All my old friends and family have there own kids and lives now doing their own thing.

I've lost everything. Feel like just giving up at times. I know people will say just stay away from the drink but honestly there's so much wrong I don't even know where to go.

tinpib

Hi mixed up.

Sorry to hear all that. First thing is that you certianly are not alone in what you are going through. Search through this thread and you will see similar, especially check out posts by petes, I remember him as he gave up around the same time as me but he lived rurally as well and went through similar to you.

Also if you go onto the stopdrinking subreddit and search for stories with DUI [driving under the influence] you will find dozens if not hundreds of stories.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/

It may not seem like it now but it seems like losing a license seems to be one of the biggest contributors to people turning their life around. It is the shock/wake up call they need. Many look at it as a turning point.

Seeing similar stories to my life always gave me some comfort.

Apart from that I don't know what to say. I think persistence is the most important thing in giving up drink. 63 days is huge. I don't know that many in my circle of still-drinking friends could manage that.

You have that experience behind you and I know myself that the second time you try and stay off it for 63 days will be a [little] easier than the first. The 3rd, and especially 4th time were a lot easier for me.

Keep posting here, I found it helped a lot in my early days.

Tinwhistle*

Hi Mixed Up

Knowing you have a problem is a big plus, wanting to give up is a bigger plus!

Take one day at a time and you’ll find your life improving.

I’m sitting in Costa drinking a latte, this time five weeks ago I was desperate for a pub crawl lol

Be strong, you WILL get there. #soberlife

Tinwhistle*

mixed up wrote: »

2 Day's, It's been almost 5 months since I've posted here and really fell hard, my last post was 63 days without drink and I went back to old habits.

My life is just so f**ked up I don't even know where to Start. I've been drinking so much the last few months, not going to work. I just feel so alone.

I've lost my license for drink driving, living in the country it's hard to get places or do anything. All my old friends and family have there own kids and lives now doing their own thing.

I've lost everything. Feel like just giving up at times. I know people will say just stay away from the drink but honestly there's so much wrong I don't even know where to go.

How are you feeling today?

Chopinlist66

Hi Mixed up,

You are not alone, please be reassured. I am back here again, despite being so determined not to repeat my behaviour. Last year i did a good few months off the plonk, and resumed last November, eventually hitting the wall very hard 2 nights ago, and behaving in a way i am ashamed of, in front of my adult children.
I am fortunate to have very patient family, and they get why I am the way am I, but I have to put a stop to this cyclical negative destructive behaviour for once and for all. I think my daughter may have every been scared of me, and I am so ashamed at doing this to my darling child, even if she is grown up. I hate myself for doing this, and I deserve to be punished.
I went to gp, who thinks I am too hard on myself. Things have been tough, but that is still no excuse. I feel I should be able to deal with everything, and i feel so weak. Work has been fine, it's just that once in while I go completely crazy on drink.My gp put me on a heavy dose of librium so everything is fine for now. She seems to think I have underlying anxiety issues, and that i have been self medicating with alcohol which is obviously not working. I decided to take the pioneer pledge today, to see will that help me stay away from alcohol. To make things worse, we have a family wedding next Tuesday. I will still be on my librium, so will be okay for that. Will drink lime and soda water for the day! Mixedup, please get some librium just to give you a chance to catch your breath, it will be your friend for a few days. Would you visit GP?

ArchXStanton

realdanbreen wrote: »

Absolutely! I'm a while off it now but I still wake sometimes having dreampt I was on the lash the night before. The relief to realise it was a dream is brilliant.

I still get those dreams the odd time,frankly they're nightmares

Tinwhistle*

Almost 38 days for me now

realdanbreen

mixed up wrote: »

2 Day's, It's been almost 5 months since I've posted here and really fell hard, my last post was 63 days without drink and I went back to old habits.

My life is just so f**ked up I don't even know where to Start. I've been drinking so much the last few months, not going to work. I just feel so alone.

I've lost my license for drink driving, living in the country it's hard to get places or do anything. All my old friends and family have there own kids and lives now doing their own thing.

I've lost everything. Feel like just giving up at times. I know people will say just stay away from the drink but honestly there's so much wrong I don't even know where to go.

How are you getting on?

henryforde80

Five Weeks today. Had to make the decision to cut four toxic friends out of my life who are basically alcoholics(7 or eight pints after work, all day in the pub Saturday and Sunday, I was the same) and would want you to stay drinking to make them feel better about themselves so it doesn't look like a big deal what there doing if you get me. I went off it two weeks previously and basically they pressured me into drinking when I was down watching an Ireland game with three pints lined up in front of me and saying your boring without drink, just drink the f***en pint etc.

I now have a close three friends who just go out on a Saturday night and sticking to them and in no way pressuring me to drink. I generally meet them in the city for an hour or two and drive home.

I think every village in Ireland has them wasters and thankful I'm not one of them anymore. Early days yet though.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

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jacksie66 wrote: »

Is it strange that I didn't want to drink yesterday and I don't want to drink today? I'm a limerick man and with limerick winning the All Ireland yesterday I thought that I'd be mad to go for pints. But I didn't want to. My father and brother wanted me to go for a few but I refused. I feel kind of guilty now but in all honesty my head hasn't been the best mentally for a few weeks and I didn't want to make it worse with drink.

Dont feel one bit guilty, be happy that you didn't drink (and ye won the hurling)
Great strength not to drink..
Keep it up..