Agonizing Last Words From Someone Who Couldn't Take Any More Of Life

Millicent

Copper23 wrote: »

Dudess, I actually wrote a long reply to this but it's quite personal and I ended up really not wanting to post it in public.

When I said "using the suicide card" I meant people pretending they are going to do it and using it to manipulate you to do as they like, things like saying it will be your fault when they are dead if you do not do X. Doing this repeatedly to get your attention or to manipulate you.

What I said what not an assumption. I was talking about my own life experience and some real events which were just absolutely horrifying, heaving dealt with being the subject of this behaviour for a long time. I really didnt want to post personal details so I just kept my reply short here.

Ditto. I've a parent who used it all through my childhood to manipulate, control and generally be emotionally abusive. While (hopefully) people like that are in the minority, they do exist and they do make it harder for other people to be believed.

Thomas828

I'm not suicidal, I've never been abused in any way, physically, psychologically or sexually, I don't carry any of the mental scars caused by abuse. Reading Bill Zeller's sad and gruelling story makes me realise just how lucky I am.

I can read all about the grief that abuse victims go through, but I couldn't begin to imagine what's going through their mind, let alone put myself in their position.

I'm leading a happy life and I must never take that for granted. I also should never judge people only on outward appearances. Not everybody is living a pure, healthy and happy life like me and I should, as Americans say, cut them some slack.

All I can say about Bill Zeller is I hope you'll finally be at peace.

(And Dr Bollocko, you did the right thing deleting all those crass comments that so often come up in After Hours. Child abuse is nothing to joke about. Everybody should know that.)

I have no nightmarish experiences at any time in my history that would prevent me from living a full, happy and healthy life.

Naikon

Millicent wrote: »

Naikon, not trying to pick a fight but have you ever been in the situation where you needed counselling? Nothing in the world feels worse than knowing you are slowly falling apart but then, when you work up the courage to talk to a family member or close friend, they make you feel as if you are wrong, mental, overly dramatic, irritating, whining, deluded, unimportant, a burden, a source of shame, a victim, a drama-queen or worse, they simply ignore you, ridicule you or don't believe you.

Nothing compounds the loneliness and frustration of being that depressed more than the complete apathy of the people who are supposed to care about you. Counsellors, in that instance, are literally lifesaving and not to be made light of.

Like almost every person on this thread, things have happend in my life where I reckon I should have gone to counselling in retrospect. What stops me in particular though, is the notion that they are "there to help".
I think for most people, especially for people with limited/no family support it's worthwhile. For other issues, I just can't see the point. I don't like the fact any person I come across outside of my family/friends circle
is treated with suspicion. It's just the way I am I suppose and this is reflected in my attitude to counselling for worse.

Sadly, I share the mindset he had when it comes to counselling, and I didn't suffer any abuse That is not to say I am filled with hate, it's just I understand our social roots and react accordingly. Fact remains, privacy
is confined to a space between your ears. If something leaves that place, it is NEVER private. What can I say, I like privacy. You are right about family members though. Some things are just too important to state, even
to family members. You have to calculate based on potential what to and what not to say.

Son Of A Vidic

OP - You've wasted your time posting that in here, because surely you know some twit will come in with inappropriate comments. This is one topic that should transcend such attention seeking stupidity.

Very powerful stuff indeed, I never read a suicide note before. It just makes you wonder about the private torment some people go through in life. His loss of hope, faith and trust in humanity was shocking. But yet totally understandable given what he'd been through.

It's a real pity he did not name his abuser, because that bast@rd deserves his punishment. I said this on Boards before and I'll say it again, pedophiles are the lowest form of sub-human scum. The damage they inflict goes far beyond physical suffering, as this letter clear demonstrates. They do not deserve normal judicial treatment, a bullet to the back of the head is about right. But maybe perhaps to quick.

Who knows what exists after death, or even if there is an existence? But if there is an existence, I've no doubt that lad is in his own heaven right now. Reading that letter it's pretty clear he has already lived his private hell.
May he RIP.

coffee_cake

The problem with talking with people close to you about these things is that they are close to you. They are emotionally involved and will probably, even if they want to help, want to hurry up the help and get you better so they don't have to deal with it as much. Particularly if they don't know how to help and feel frustrated. You then have the added worry of "oh no I'm burdening the people who love me".
Counsellors really are excellent at listening and knowing how to get deeper into the issues and they are a stranger.
I really think people should stop advising people to stay away from counsellors, it's extremely counterproductive.

Naikon

Just for the record, I don't think any less of people considering counselling. It's just I like to warn people not to expect a miracle. Privacy may be a concern. If it works for you, go nuts. It has never worked as a concept for me personally.

jill_valentine

Privacy isn't a concern. A counsellor won't breach your confidence. And since they have absolutely no emotional stake in what your telling them - they don't know you from Adam - they're a lot easier to speak to than somebody you have to live and work around.

Dudess

Naikon wrote: »

Just for the record, I don't think any less of people considering counselling. It's just I like to warn people not to expect a miracle.

And you're absolutely right to say that - people should not attend a therapist expecting a magic wand to be waved, and much of the work needs to be done by the person themselves, not just the counsellor.

Dudess

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

OP - You've wasted your time posting that in here, because surely you know some twit will come in with inappropriate comments. This is one topic that should transcend such attention seeking stupidity.

The irony of idiotic "Oh that's just drama, attention-seeking" type comments on threads like this is... they are nothing but attention-seeking, going against the grain themselves.

midlandsmissus

Dudess it's bugging me. WHO is your avatar? Is that a stressed looing Nicole Kidman?:D