Worst thing your dog ever did

dnme

I have a 1yr old semi labrador. Shes a rescue dog and a great little character. She is house trained. I take her everywhere with me, she has become my sidekick.

Today I was driving into town with herself on the passenger seat. All of a sudden I notice she's real sheepish and she gets down into the passenger foot well. There . . . on the seat . . . is a big juicy dump.

Talk about freaking out. I managed to get to town. Parked up, put her in the boot and removed the seat cover (thank god for seat covers).

I let her out regularly and she has her pattern etc for that kinda thing in the garden. This morning was no different. I got up, put her out for 20 minutes, then let her in, fed her and we set off for town about 12pm.

Note to my dog...
Girl, I love you but if you ever do that again, I'm gonna break your arse!

KeithM89_old

Rescued some whiney little kid from a well - took me ages to kidnap him and push him down there...:(

Run_to_da_hills

Sh*t directly behind the hall door, when the door opened it cracked the crust and spread it like butter across the carpet for about a foot.

Overheal

died

red menace

also died We miss you Bark

Mr. Manager

dnme wrote: »

I have a 1yr old semi labrador.

What the hell is a semi labrador? Is there not another semi??


......I think you got ripped off

PapaQuebec

Converted to Islam.

Amberjack

Get stuck on the cliffs and have to get rescued by the coastguard. Little brats (springers) ran off just coming back from a walk and went missing for hours. Eventually found and it. Took 8 members of the local coastguards to absail down a cliff edge and get them to safety.

raah!

One christmas our dog managed to get in the window... and somehow get at the oven (or wherever it was that the ham was being cooked) and eat an entire christmas ham. When we got back he was sitting there surrounded by the remnants of the ham and licking his greasy chops. He also later died.

General General

Deliberately misdirected us by indicating Timmy was caught down a well some twenty miles from the one where he actually was... by the time we worked out where he really was, he was dead. Poor Timmy.

I guess he shouldn't have pished on our Lassie's leg that time 'to teach her a lesson'.

AnnyHallsal

She sexually assaulted the cat, regularly

yermandan

dnme wrote: »

I have a 1yr old semi

heheheh

dnme

raah! wrote: »

When we got back he was sitting there surrounded by the remnants of the ham and licking his greasy chops. He also later died.

Were the two events related ????

naughty1205

Our dog half chewed a prayer book that a colleague lent me while I was trying for years for a baby (prayer book from the 1950's, St. Gerard Majella, patron saint of expectant mothers) was her late mothers, and special to her. I wouldn't mind but I made sure (or so I thought) it was well out of her way, she is not normally a chewer. My colleague was lovely about it, I was in bits. Think the dog was trying to tell me 'I'm the only baby allowed in this house'! The brat!

ChopShop

Crapped on my comic box.
Peed on my pillow.
Mauled Cobra Commander (what did he ever do to anyone?)


He also foiled my attempt to haunt an abandoned house and buy it on the cheap.

Gran Hermano

... the bitch next door.

raah!

dnme wrote: »

Were the two events related ????

Woops, must have made some sort of mistake. I meant that he was licking his chops after having eaten an entire ham. He was sitting there with a greasy face and little bits of mess and ham all around him.


More recently one of our dogs led a group of other dogs on a raid into a neigbhours chicken coup. We got them a new chicken though.

Edit: oh, you mean his death and ham eating! hahahah, no they were not, just bad post structure again.

mle1324

P!ss on the floor making my ma slip and breaking her wrist and knee.

And eat meat on good friday

danniemcq

killed 2 of my hamsters and then brought them over to me!

dnme

PapaQuebec wrote: »

Converted to Islam.

Did you have to Musl'im ? (ke ke ke ke) :D:D:D

padi89

dnme wrote: »

I have a 1yr old semi labrador. Shes a rescue dog and a great little character. She is house trained. I take her everywhere with me, she has become my sidekick.

Today I was driving into town with herself on the passenger seat. All of a sudden I notice she's real sheepish and she gets down into the passenger foot well. There . . . on the seat . . . is a big juicy dump.

Talk about freaking out. I managed to get to town. Parked up, put her in the boot and removed the seat cover (thank god for seat covers).

I let her out regularly and she has her pattern etc for that kinda thing in the garden. This morning was no different. I got up, put her out for 20 minutes, then let her in, fed her and we set off for town about 12pm.

Note to my dog...
Girl, I love you but if you ever do that again, I'm gonna break your arse!

You drive around with your dog sitting on the passanger seat ? Not the safest thing to do really for your dog not alone yourself or other road users. Hopefully she gets a dose of the ****s next.

dnme

padi89 wrote: »

You drive around with your dog sitting on the passanger seat ? Not the safest thing to do really for your dog not alone yourself or other road users. Hopefully she gets a dose of the ****s next.

You're not from the country old boy, are you.

JONJO THE MISER

I don't have a dog:(

offaly1

dnme wrote: »

You're not from the country old boy, are you.

Could you imagine a dub with a dog in the passenger seat?? (take that whatever way...but i mean the animal) :-p

TheZohanS

Sat down beside me, both of us were watching the tv, then he got one of his front paws and started having a ****...true story.

dnme

TheZohan wrote: »

Sat down beside me, both of us were watching the tv, then he got one of his front paws and started having a ****...true story.

ah ffs, sure I do that meself.

iPlop

TheZohan wrote: »

Sat down beside me, both of us were watching the tv, then he got one of his front paws and started having a ****...true story.

I saw my mates dog do that ,like that kangaroo on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQuhIc5rGOk

TheZohanS

dnme wrote: »

ah ffs, sure I do that meself.

Yeah but not during Prime Time!

padi89

dnme wrote: »

You're not from the country old boy, are you.

Born and bred in the sticks i don't see your point ? Driving around with a dog plonked on the passanger seat no matter where your from is just clueless.

00112984

A bit disgusting but...






My dog was only a puppy and was still being house trained. I walked into the livingroom to see her crouching and a green, liquidy sh*te squirting out of her arse and all over the wooden floor. I ran off and got kitchen towel to wipe it up but as I was cleaning it the smell hit me and I puked right on top of the pool of puppy poo. That was bad enough but then the pooch made a dash for the vomit and started licking it up. She managed to get a mouthful (and I presume a bit of poo too) but immediate vomited it, and the contents of her own stomach, back out so now I had a pile of poo topped with my vomit and garnished with puppy puke. I took one look at it and my stomach turned again and I barfed once more.

dnme

padi89 wrote: »

Born and bred in the sticks i don't see your point ? Driving around with a dog plonked on the passanger seat no matter where your from is just clueless.

padi,

You're absolutely right. I'm very grateful to you for the advice and the guidance. I'm gonna stop this crazy practice right now!!! Jesus Christ - to think, I could have died. I could have died man!! Or I could have killed someone else. People like you are what boards is all about. Thanks again padi....



..
..

..


I could have died man:eek:

padi89

Well you know what they say .... Sarcasm being the lowest form of wit .... and all that.

LostinKildare

You know how puppies like to eat poop, right? Well . . .


My German Shepherd was a pup in the summer my son was three. I had her (the dog) housetrained in the space of two days, but toilet training the kid took a bit more time. I'd heard that the best way to toilet train is to let your child run around with no nappy on so he'll recognize the urge to go. So, we were out in the back garden on a beautiful summer's day, him toddling around, me deadheading the sweetpeas, and I looked up and spied my darling boy down at the end of the garden, squatting and having a poo on the ground. I started over to him, and the dog raced past me and like a flash grabbed up my son's poo in her mouth and ran away with it!

dnme

padi89 wrote: »

Well you know what they say .... Sarcasm being the lowest form of wit .... and all that.

Yes again I am extremely sorry. I need improving as a person, I do realise that. Happy Christmas to you and yours and have a good new year.

orourkeda

Jerked off on a tea towel

dnme

orourkeda wrote: »

Jerked off on a tea towel

Your dog I take it ? :cool:

karlog

My dog sniffed another dogs sh*t once and then proceeded to eat it.

danniemcq

dnme wrote: »

Your dog I take it ? :cool:

there is a breed called a tea towel?

up for anything

Whenever he gets a chance he gathers up my duvet under him and humps it until his hind legs start trembling and buckle under him.

ejmaztec

Overheal wrote: »

died

Ours wouldn't, how did you manage it?

Boxoffrogs

We had a dog that was a whippet/labrador, she was incredibly fast and when out in the garden used to spend all her time chasing the birds.

I was sitting in the living room one day chatting to my boyfriend's sis when in doggie sprints and deposits a half dead bird on her lap, the thing was still twitching. Poppy (the dog) looked immensely pleased with herself, I think she may have considered it a gift, daft thing.

lazernuts

I caught him eating his own ****es in the garden. So I gave out to him, and brought him inside. Five mins later he gawked a big runny dark brown lump on the kitchen tiles, stood in it and dragged it around the house.
Filthy bugger.

Das Kitty

My Mam has a beautiful pure bred Lhasa Apso. He looks just elegant and classy. However he is the furthest thing from classy you would ever encounter.

We used to have a small stuffed fox mounted on a log that my brothers sent us home from Germany when they were living there. Not sure what to do with it we put it in the attic room. One afternoon I was passing the bottom of the stairs and I could hear the dog whining in the attic. You know that pathetic high pitched half dead whine you hear in films when a dog is dying in the snow or something. So I ran up the stairs only to find the dog was not dying, or even in any distress. He was raping the stuffed fox. The ingenious f*cker had wedged the unfortunate fox between the bed and locker and had licked the whole rear of the fox before completing his dastardly plan. The fox was never the same again.

That and the time he ate the contents of the bathroom bin. Blerg!

teresminor

our two run off if you don't put them on a lead and steal baguettes from super valu about half a mile away we only found out about this 'cause they did it in front of our neighbour!

Asphyxia

The only thing I can think of is when he ate up one of my lovely purple head bands that I was meant to wear for a wedding the day before. He's a pretty good doggie in general

Ruu_Old

Ripped up the insides of my Sonic cap, limited edition too. ;_;

up for anything

Besides humping, mine has absolutely no pride. He is like a rabid wolf whenever anyone passes the house or comes to the door but once they are through the door he dogs them literally. He will sit at their feet and demand rubs and pats and once he has achieved that he will put his front paws on their shoulders and tuck his head under their chin until he see his chance and goes straight down their throats with his tongue. Unless he gets booted out into the garden he will keep this behaviour up for as long as they are here, hours if necessary and if he gets the cold shoulder and a harsh word will drape himself over their legs with abject misery pouring out of him like a marsh fog until they relent and then it starts all over again. He is more than needy!

kowloon

Our dog used to go everywhere with us, she was really well behaved and would stay in her seat in the back of the car with the head out the window.

One day driving through town she spied a dog she liked the look of and leapt out the car window while we were going around 30mph. She rolled straight onto her feet and ran between the traffic, all in motion, and runs up to investigate this dog.

mikemac

We are not far from the local GAA field

The club opened a new stand so Tipperary and Limerick hosted a senior hurling challenge match. TG4 were there to cover it

And on TG4 you see our golden retriever take the sliotar and run around causing the game to stop

Shamed on national TV

dnme

kowloon wrote: »

Our dog used to go everywhere with us, she was really well behaved and would stay in her seat in the back of the car with the head out the window.

One day driving through town she spied a dog she liked the look of and leapt out the car window while we were going around 30mph. She rolled straight onto her feet and ran between the traffic, all in motion, and runs up to investigate this dog.

Chuckin hell.

My last lab did that too but I was doing about 10mph at Murvagh Beach. She spotted another dog in in the oncoming car. Both had heads out window. As we passed, it was just too much for her to resist and out she jumped.

dnme

feelingstressed wrote: »

We are not from the local GAA field

The club opened a new stand so Tipperary and Limerick hosted a senior hurling challenge match. TG4 were there to cover it

And on TG4 you see our golden retriever take the sliotar and run around causing the game to stop

Shamed on national TV

Best yet. Fantastic