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ladies....waiting on a proposal

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  • 15-12-2010 5:47pm
    #1
    mollybird
    Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭


    heh girlies,
    been waiting the past year about for a proposal from my OH. am not stressing too much bout it at this point. know it will hopefully happen in the next 3/4 months. we have talked about it and both parents been asking when is it going to happen.

    thought it would happen during the summer but he wanted to see what it would be like for us to live together first. and we did have 3 weddings to go to.

    just no real idea what to do with myself while i'm awaiting. any idea's???


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    #2
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Ask him?


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    #3
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,197 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Is waiting for a proposal preventing you from doing something else?


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    #4
    mollybird
    Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭mollybird


    no it's not preventing me from doing anything. do love the man. know it's def what he wants to. it's just him finding the right time to do it.

    and hell id never ask him. i'm a true tradionialist:)


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    #5
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Just enjoy your relationship? Why let a proposal define you? I honestly don't even understand your question - why would you need to fill in the time while you're waiting for a proposal? He hsan't proposed so nothing has changed. Do exactly what you've been doing the whole time :confused:.


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    #6
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,309 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    mollybird wrote: »
    no it's not preventing me from doing anything. do love the man. know it's def what he wants to. it's just him finding the right time to do it.

    and hell id never ask him. i'm a true tradionialist:)

    If you aren't bothered asking him what are you waiting for?

    Get on with your life as normal and forget about it.
    both parents been asking when is it going to happen.
    Tell them "I'm just the girl, I don't know, ask him"


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    #7
    Worried Soul
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭Worried Soul


    how long ye going out? how old are you?? I


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    #8
    Asphyxia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,740 ✭✭✭Asphyxia


    You seem to be really happy with your life :) if you don't think about it so much and just enjoy your life it might surprise you :D


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    #9
    Clare Bear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,613 ✭✭✭✭Clare Bear


    Relax. He'll ask you if and when he's ready. Not very romantic "waiting" to be proposed to is it? :confused:


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    #10
    LittleBook
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,716 ✭✭✭LittleBook


    mollybird wrote: »
    both parents been asking when is it going to happen.

    Can't remember which comedienne but she tells a good one about how she got sick of relations coming up to her at weddings and saying "oooh, maybe you'll be next" ... so she started going up to them at funerals and saying "oooh, maybe you'll be next". :pac:

    I couldn't care less when we get married, but would love if people stopped asking me!
    mollybird wrote: »
    he wanted to see what it would be like for us to live together first

    For the record OP, I wouldn't even consider marrying someone unless I'd lived with them first.
    mollybird wrote: »
    just no real idea what to do with myself while i'm awaiting. any idea's???

    What does that mean? :confused:


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    #11
    BengaLover
    Registered Users Posts: 2,090 ✭✭✭BengaLover


    Maybe he has the old xmas eve proposal in mind..:D


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    #12
    CK2010
    Closed Accounts Posts: 543 ✭✭✭CK2010


    the same thing you'll be doing after he proposes..?

    i get that when he proposes you can start planning wedding things (perhaps, although i'd have assumed that wouldnt happen straight away) but thats pretty much the only thing that changes after he proposes so i dont quite get what you're 'waiting' for? :confused: like i dont know what you think you should be doing to fill the time so to speak...

    is it just that you want it all 'confirmed' with an engagement and dont know where you stand til then or...?

    im kinda confused!


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    #13
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Enjoy your relationship now, so you can remember fully what it was like when he was "just" your boyfriend.
    Don't wish for things to be different if they are great as they are.
    Myself and my boyfriend will be getting engaged within the next few months, and I am just so excited about the surprise element of not knowing when the proposal will be.

    Be excited!!!!


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    #14
    drBill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 329 ✭✭drBill


    Unfortunately for you, guys hate having their thunder stolen in situations like this, so give him space, be careful not to unnerve him beforehand and remember to act amazed and stunned when he finally goes for it!


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    #15
    MagicMarker
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    You want to get married, he wants to get married (or at least that's what he says), so you've obviously discussed it.

    So, erm, what is the point of a proposal? The poster above says to ''act stunned'' when he pops the question, I'm sorry, but that just strikes me as being stupid.

    I'm not the marriage type, so maybe someone else can explain to me what I'm missing here.


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    #16
    seenitall
    Registered Users Posts: 3,715 ✭✭✭seenitall


    Try writing to the fiancee-du-jour, Waity Katie. She may give you a tip or two on how you get him to propose, and also what to do in the meantime (well aside from living the jet-set high-life, of course...:p).

    Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. With this proposal dangling in the air, it is almost as if your OH has some occult power over your life and happiness (and you aren't able to reciprocate). Not to mention the pressure that he must be feeling. It's weird.

    Relax, you'll be happier.


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    #17
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Forget about it and just enjoy yourselves, it'll mean more if its out of the blue, sitting down arranging to get married is probably the least romantic way of doing it surely?


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    #18
    Darlughda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,886 ✭✭✭Darlughda


    Great.

    This is what women fought for all along from the suffragettes to get the vote for women, to the movement in the 70's to attempt to achieve equal rights for women...and this is what we have in 2010...waiting on a proposal...jesus wept.:mad:


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    #19
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Girl Power! Ask him yourself, what have you got to loose, he is probably petrifide of asking! At least discuss it openinly but subtley. Drop a few innocent hints!? Maybe the next wedding ye go to maybe say something that might make him ask but but speak in the third by not referring to yourself. Just say something out of the blue maybe that might get him thinking....


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    #20
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    I don't really see it like that to be fair, they fought for rights and choices.

    Not for the right to tell other women what those rights and choices should be, sure that would just be swapping one lack of rights for another.

    I think the OP wants to get extremely excited knowing it's coming up, and not being able to wait, I don't think it's a slap in the face of feminism, I think it's just the excitement of looking forward to something, that's nearly worse when you know its coming soon...

    Not everyone's thing I admit, nor my thing even, but I wouldn't mock the OP for not sharing my views :)


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    #21
    iguana
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 12,915 Mod ✭✭✭✭iguana


    Darlughda wrote: »
    Great.

    This is what women fought for all along from the suffragettes to get the vote for women, to the movement in the 70's to attempt to achieve equal rights for women...and this is what we have in 2010...waiting on a proposal...jesus wept.:mad:

    Indeed. Exactly what is wrong with two equal partners discussing where they want their relationship to go and deciding on their future together?


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    #22
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    The reason women allow the men to make the proposal is because the men know its the last decision they will ever make.


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    #23
    Darlughda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,886 ✭✭✭Darlughda


    Silverfish wrote: »
    I don't really see it like that to be fair, they fought for rights and choices.

    Not for the right to tell other women what those rights and choices should be, sure that would just be swapping one lack of rights for another.

    I think the OP wants to get extremely excited knowing it's coming up, and not being able to wait, I don't think it's a slap in the face of feminism, I think it's just the excitement of looking forward to something, that's nearly worse when you know its coming soon...

    Not everyone's thing I admit, nor my thing even, but I wouldn't mock the OP for not sharing my views :)

    I disagree, The OP has clearly identified her goals in this situation. She is looking for an arrangement that has ineviable role tradional consequences, what is clear that is what she wants!


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    #24
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    There's no surprise element - what's the point? Ticking a box? How romantic.


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    #25
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,197 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Darlughda wrote: »
    I disagree, The OP has clearly identified her goals in this situation. She is looking for an arrangement that has ineviable role tradional consequences, what is clear that is what she wants!

    Surely her freedom to want what she wants and get it is what the whole feminist/equal rights movement was all about?

    Four legs good, two legs also good.


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    #26
    serenacat
    Registered Users Posts: 670 ✭✭✭serenacat


    mollybird wrote: »
    heh girlies,
    been waiting the past year about for a proposal from my OH. am not stressing too much bout it at this point. know it will hopefully happen in the next 3/4 months. we have talked about it and both parents been asking when is it going to happen.

    thought it would happen during the summer but he wanted to see what it would be like for us to live together first. and we did have 3 weddings to go to.

    just no real idea what to do with myself while i'm awaiting. any idea's???

    Ok heres what you need to do
    1) move out-sorry but you are really decreasing the chances of him asking you if you already live there
    2) stay with him for 1 week while you 'pumbing' is fixed
    3) while there cook pot dinner, roast, switch on the heating
    4) treple the amount of action he usually gets
    5) day seven take the dinner out of the oven, bring it home and switch the heating off
    6) wait for him to miss you and propose


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    #27
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Ok heres what you need to do
    1) move out-sorry but you are really decreasing the chances of him asking you if you already live there
    2) stay with him for 1 week while you 'pumbing' is fixed
    3) while there cook pot dinner, roast, switch on the heating
    4) treple the amount of action he usually gets
    5) day seven take the dinner out of the oven, bring it home and switch the heating off
    6) wait for him to miss you and propose

    if that's a joke it's hilarious but if it's serious, I believe the most epic of facepalms is needed...


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    #28
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    serenacat wrote: »
    Ok heres what you need to do
    1) move out-sorry but you are really decreasing the chances of him asking you if you already live there
    2) stay with him for 1 week while you 'pumbing' is fixed
    3) while there cook pot dinner, roast, switch on the heating
    4) treple the amount of action he usually gets
    5) day seven take the dinner out of the oven, bring it home and switch the heating off
    6) wait for him to miss you and propose

    I laughed!!


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    #29
    Yo Buddy. You still alive?
    Closed Accounts Posts: 105 ✭✭Yo Buddy. You still alive?


    This thread is Golden :D

    OP Relax. They will come. Or it in this case.


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    #30
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    serenacat wrote: »
    Ok heres what you need to do
    1) move out-sorry but you are really decreasing the chances of him asking you if you already live there
    2) stay with him for 1 week while you 'pumbing' is fixed
    3) while there cook pot dinner, roast, switch on the heating
    4) treple the amount of action he usually gets
    5) day seven take the dinner out of the oven, bring it home and switch the heating off
    6) wait for him to miss you and propose

    WTF????


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    #31
    Any key?
    Registered Users Posts: 533 ✭✭✭Any key?


    serenacat wrote: »
    Ok heres what you need to do
    1) move out-sorry but you are really decreasing the chances of him asking you if you already live there
    2) stay with him for 1 week while you 'pumbing' is fixed
    3) while there cook pot dinner, roast, switch on the heating
    4) treple the amount of action he usually gets
    5) day seven take the dinner out of the oven, bring it home and switch the heating off
    6) wait for him to miss you and propose

    hahaha hilarious!
    OP I take it since you said you're living together since the Summer you might have a little longer than 3 months to wait.....sorry thats just what I think. However sounds like you're in an amazing loving relationship either way . Just enjoy your relationship and when it happens it will be so special :)


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