Blackmail at work

jenny jinks

O/p you should go out for that drink. Your life will be made hell otherwise and you will definetly be sacked. You will find that you are not the first girl he has done this to and you won't be the last. The thing to do is arrange to meet him somewhere and after twenty minutes have some big guy approach and introduce himself as your boyfriend. Let the boyfriend sit and glare at hime for a few minutes. During the time you are alone with him make sure you record what happens. If he is married you have him over a barrell.
I work as a secretary in a solicitors office and this kind of thing is very common. The girl never wins.

Penn

I was going to suggest something similar. Say you'll meet him in XXX pub at a certain time, then show up with a bunch of other people from your work and act like nothing happened. He'll presume you told people about his offer and will probably just try and sweep everything under the rug. But bringing other people with you will show him that you're not willing to be blackmailed and you're not naive enough to fall for his tricks. He should back off.

It does seem like you have more to lose than him by going to HR, especially since his offer of a drink is a) your word against his, and b) no indication that he was trying to blackmail you. He only said going for a drink. He sounds like he's slippy enough to weasel his way out of it. Going for a drink with him but having either your boyfriend or workmates there will show him that you're not going to get trapped and you're not weak enough to play his games. If he decides to report you, just explain your case as best you can to HR and hope for the best. But would getting the sack be worse than getting blackmailed by this guy into doing god knows what?

pollypocket10

OP first off you will not be sacked for this. If you were you would have a strong case for unfair dismissal. At worse it warrants a warning but most likely it would be just a caution. If you have an employee handbook take a look at the disciplinary procedure to ease your mind.

Your bosses behavior is highly inappropriate and could be construed as harassment or sexual harassment. Has he mentioned it to you since the first occasion? While it is still fresh in your mind write down the conversation exactly as you remember it and note the day, time and location. Ditto for any other time it has been mentioned.

I would suggest you bring this information with you to HR and note your concerns. They will ask you if you want to raise a formal grievance, I would suggest you do as their is nothing that can be done if you don't.

Good luck OP

Elle Collins

jenny jinks wrote: »

O/p you should go out for that drink. Your life will be made hell otherwise and you will definetly be sacked. You will find that you are not the first girl he has done this to and you won't be the last. The thing to do is arrange to meet him somewhere and after twenty minutes have some big guy approach and introduce himself as your boyfriend. Let the boyfriend sit and glare at hime for a few minutes. During the time you are alone with him make sure you record what happens. If he is married you have him over a barrell.
I work as a secretary in a solicitors office and this kind of thing is very common. The girl never wins.

What a sickening piece of advice!

OP, go to HR - end of story. If anyone is in fear of losing their job here it's him. The company cannot be seen to be turning a blind eye to such blatent sexual harassment, otherwise they're in for a tough day in the labour court and they'll bloody well know it.

SparkyTech

jenny jinks wrote: »

O/p you should go out for that drink. Your life will be made hell otherwise and you will definetly be sacked. You will find that you are not the first girl he has done this to and you won't be the last. The thing to do is arrange to meet him somewhere and after twenty minutes have some big guy approach and introduce himself as your boyfriend. Let the boyfriend sit and glare at hime for a few minutes. During the time you are alone with him make sure you record what happens. If he is married you have him over a barrell.
I work as a secretary in a solicitors office and this kind of thing is very common. The girl never wins.

We live in an era where sexisim and bullying are not tolerated and taken very seriously by HR. Treating a woman less equal then a man is outlawed under the Equality Act. Blackmail is a criminal offence.

OP, report the matter to your company supervisor and if this man tries to intimidate you any further go to the Gardai.

gimme5minutes

Mozoltov! wrote: »

Don't do this. It's illegal to record a conversation with a person without their prior consent.

It's not illegal to record a conversation with a person without their prior consent. It might be inadmissible as evidence in court but it is not illegal. That said, I'm even sure if it is inadmissible as evidence in an Irish court, you'd have to ask on the legal discussion forum for that.

Penn

But the boss never said he wanted anything in return for staying silent about the OP using the Internet. He just asked her to go for a drink with him. Now, obviously, it's quite clear what he's doing and what his intentions are, but he hasn't actually done anything wrong yet. It's hard to tell without hearing the conversation that took place, but unless he said that you had to go for a drink with him or he'd report your Internet usage, he hasn't done anything wrong.

BCC4LYFE

think of your job...imagine you are sacked because of this you will have no money....

28064212

jenny jinks wrote: »

O/p you should go out for that drink. Your life will be made hell otherwise and you will definetly be sacked.

What's the logical conclusion to that? She should let him kiss her? Grope her? Sleep with him? Do you think he's asking her for a drink in order to get a free pint or something?

OP, politely decline the drinks offer, the exact same as you would if he wasn't holding this over you. What to do next will depend on his actions. It's likely he'll just end it and say nothing. If he sends the report upstairs, you're just going to have deal with the consequences: you shouldn't have used the internet for personal reasons. If your boss didn't want to hold this over you, he would have passed it up anyway, so you're no worse off

matt-dublin

BCC4LYFE wrote: »

think of your job...imagine you are sacked because of this you will have no money....

Legally, she can't get sacked for this.

jenny jinks

I work inm a solicitors office. hardly a month goes by where we do not have some variation on this. the o/p can go the HR. HR ask for a statement ans ask the boss to comment. He claims that she has been coming on to HIM and asking HIM out for a drink. She is in fact a bit obsessed with him. He has explained that he is happily married with three children but she will not stop propositioning him. he says that he did not view the internet infraction seriously and wanted to be covered in case something else happened with a virus. He says he has warned her a couple of times about mistakes with the accounts package. He claims she told him that she was familiar with the package and that was why she was given the new job. If he knew then that she was not familiar with the package he would not have recommended her for the job.
The o/p now has to admit making mistakes with the package and to using the internet in breach of regulations. HR now say they don't know who to believe and the boss gets the benefit of the doubt.
Now the o/p is a pariah. The boss hates her. All of the other employees begin to ignore her as they realise that no friend of hers is a friend of the boss.
It all ends when she gets stress related illness and goes off sick, never to return.She gets a crappy reference and finds every door closed against her.
The law is no help. Nothing can be proven.

Penn

jenny jinks wrote: »

I work inm a solicitors office. hardly a month goes by where we do not have some variation on this. the o/p can go the HR. HR ask for a statement ans ask the boss to comment. He claims that she has been coming on to HIM and asking HIM out for a drink. She is in fact a bit obsessed with him. He has explained that he is happily married with three children but she will not stop propositioning him. he says that he did not view the internet infraction seriously and wanted to be covered in case something else happened with a virus. He says he has warned her a couple of times about mistakes with the accounts package. He claims she told him that she was familiar with the package and that was why she was given the new job. If he knew then that she was not familiar with the package he would not have recommended her for the job.
The o/p now has to admit making mistakes with the package and to using the internet in breach of regulations. HR now say they don't know who to believe and the boss gets the benefit of the doubt.
Now the o/p is a pariah. The boss hates her. All of the other employees begin to ignore her as they realise that no friend of hers is a friend of the boss.
It all ends when she gets stress related illness and goes off sick, never to return.She gets a crappy reference and finds every door closed against her.
The law is no help. Nothing can be proven.

That's a very harsh view and there is no indication that things will work out that way with the OP.

OP, just politely decline his offer. If he decides to report your Internet usage, then let the chips fall where they may. But do not let yourself get trapped by him. No job is worth that.

jenny jinks

paddyirishman85 wrote: »

That's a very harsh view and there is no indication that things will work out that way with the OP.

No indication! I see it all the time.

Zen65

matt-dublin wrote: »

Legally, she can't get sacked for this.

Matt, the OP is on probation under a new contract, so she can have her employment terminated for any breach of company policy. It's perfectly legal.

OP,

You're in a tough spot. Your long-term goal has to be to limit any damage as a result of this manager's actions.

Here's what I suggest:

1. Ask your boss for a copy of the letter you signed admitting your actions. Let him know that you want to take to HR yourself, as you are unhappy to have the matter hanging over you.

2. If he gives you a copy of the form, then take it to HR and let them know what has happened. Tell them you believe that he is behaving inappropriately towards you by asking you out for a drink following this incident, and with the veiled threat that you will be sacked if you don't comply.

3. If he refuses to give you a copy of the form, go to HR anyway and tell them what has happened. Your position in this scenario is a little compromised. Your boss can deny there was ever a letter signed by you, and simply say that you're making the whole thing up. If there is an IT department (and it doesn't sound like it, because if they got a virus from somebody's e-mail the IT system is being run by idiots there) they might be able to pull up a copy of the document that he created from his user account backup. If they find the letter exists and that he has not forwarded it to them then your position sounds very credible.

Bear in mind that relations between you and this boss are doomed once you go down this route. On the other hand if he's willing to coerce you into a social encounter of this kind he's probably planning to let you go anyway. Going to HR before he tries to terminate your employment gives you a stronger position, as they will be shy about the possibility of an unfair dismissal/sexual harassment case. If they accept your story they may opt to sack him or (more likely) move him to some other role in the company.


Be at peace,

Z

dilallio

OP - How long are you working for this company, and is this guy well-liked at the company?
I have encountered a situation where an employee who had a disagreement with her manager was fired even though the manager was completely in the wrong. As she was working there less than 12 mts, she wasn't covered by the unfair dismissal act, and although it was wrong, it was easier for the company to fire the girl rather than disciplining the manager.

Keep in mind, that the longer that he holds this information about your internet usage, the harder it will be for him to notify HR - if he does notify them they will ask him, why didn't he bring it to their attention sooner.

Do not go out for a drink with him - if you do, regardless of whether you have other friends / colleagues there, you will be giving him a clear message that his tactics are working, and he will just increase the pressure.

Have you any colleagues at work who are there a while who you can ask for advice, and to see if he has a track record of this type of behaviour, and what was the outcome?

If you go to HR, you will need to admit that you were using the internet, so find out first what the company's policy is for dealing with infringments here. Is there anyone else who has overheard him asking you out? - if not, he will probably deny it, and HR will be in a position of having to believe you or him, but will have no proof.

If I was you, I would ignore it, and try to ignore his requests for a drink by passing it off with a laugh - tell him something like you need a chaperone and she's not around at the moment. This may sound like stupid advice, but the fact is, unless you have a HR dept who will deal with this extremely well, you will be working with this guy for the forseeable future, and you are better off trying to diffuse the situation rather than letting it get out of control. In an ideal world, you should not need to do this. Good luck!

Penn

jenny jinks wrote: »

No indication! I see it all the time.

Yes, but then there are the ones that you don't see. Nobody can predict what the HR department or the OPs manager will say. It's too hard to predict what will happen in this scenario, so all the OP can do is cover herself as best she can.

matt-dublin

Zen65 wrote: »

Matt, the OP is on probation under a new contract, so she can have her employment terminated for any breach of company policy. It's perfectly legal.

Not quite true:

OP wrote:

I know the internet seems like a small thing, but there was an incident a few months ago when someone got in a virus from a personal e-mail. It casued mayhem. There was a written warning sent to everyone saying that the company almost closed down for good over it and anyone breaching the internet policy would be liable to dismissal. As well as that, my role changed about 9 months ago. I was asked to take over some work with an accounts package after another girl left. I did it because business has got quiter and they did not want to hire a replacement. If they had I maight have become redundant. I took the work on, was given a new contract and put on probation. Since then I have made a few mistakes because there was no training given. It would be easy for my boss to get rid of me.

Even though she's on a new contract within the company she can't be put on probation for it. The only way i could see that working is probation extension, which can only be done if she's still in probation.

citizensinformation.ie wrote:

Can my contract include a probationary period?
Yes, your contract may state that you are on probation for a stated period, for example six months. The contract may also provide for the period of probation to be extended. An employee on probation cannot rely on the unfair dismissals legislation unless he or she has more than a year's service, or is dismissed for trade union membership or activity, or for matters connected with the employee's pregnancy or claiming of maternity rights, or for seeking to avail of certain employment protections such as the national minimum wage. Other rights such as information on terms of employment, holidays, payslips and so on apply to an employee even while on probation.

I believe two seperate terms of probation under one term of service is not allowed, My best guess is that with her 9 months in current role and whatever service incurred beforehand i would say she's over the year and qualifies for protection under the unfair dismissals legislation. Probation relates to the term of service, not the term of current role. With that methodology everyone who gets a premotion would be under probation, people who do a career change within a company would be under probation etc.

curlzy

Blackmail is totally illegal, especially if he wants you to "go for a drink" with him. YUCK!!! That's beyond disgusting and sick:mad:. Either a) go for the drink and bring a tape recorder, that way you can have something to blackmail him with, and in fairness what he's doing is so much worse, or b) like others said go above his head. For goodness sake don't bloody give in and sleep with him!!!! I would also suggest getting some legal advice and contacting your union.

BCC4LYFE

babe your his now it seems but if ya want to drop me a pm i could 'sort him out' with a few of the guys

Silverfish

BCC4LYFE wrote: »

babe your his now it seems but if ya want to drop me a pm i could 'sort him out' with a few of the guys

Banned for a week.

dellas1979

Start off by just saying "no".

Thats it. You look him in the eye when you say it.

Dont say "No I cant because...". Just 1 word no. Turn around/walk off/what ever. End of. No.

If he turns on you, call his bluff and say "do your worst", and remind him you will take him down with you and fight your corner. He might have a job, but his reputation will precede him.

Anyways, if he was going to do something, he would have done it by now.

Moomoo1

SparkyTech wrote: »

We live in an era where sexisim and bullying are not tolerated and taken very seriously by HR. Treating a woman less equal then a man is outlawed under the Equality Act. Blackmail is a criminal offence.

OP, report the matter to your company supervisor and if this man tries to intimidate you any further go to the Gardai.

we also live in an era where a manager can get rid of an employee if he really wants to

my father-in-law was told last month by his company in the US 'you are a brilliant employee, but your manager doesn't get on with you, and so you have to go - sorry. If you see a job at another dep't in our company, apply and we'll probably take you'.

EDIT: there are those things called 'performance reviews' that your manager writes...

matt-dublin

US employment laws differ from Irish ones, depending on what state u live in you can be fired for almost anything

If he's there longer than a year and based out of ireland and the company has a registered office here he has a case

kayos

corneredbyboss wrote: »

I know the internet seems like a small thing, but there was an incident a few months ago when someone got in a virus from a personal e-mail. It casued mayhem. There was a written warning sent to everyone saying that the company almost closed down for good over it and anyone breaching the internet policy would be liable to dismissal. As well as that, my role changed about 9 months ago. I was asked to take over some work with an accounts package after another girl left. I did it because business has got quiter and they did not want to hire a replacement. If they had I maight have become redundant. I took the work on, was given a new contract and put on probation. Since then I have made a few mistakes because there was no training given. It would be easy for my boss to get rid of me.

Been working in IT since I left college and have seen many different internet usage policies. And if I remember right its bloody hard to boot someone on them.

As for a virus coming in off an email and causing trouble in the office. Thats fair enough but the comapny should have a decent enterprise level Anti-Virus scanner. What would happens if a client sends an email with a virus? They gonna fire the poor sod the client was emailing? To me a mail like that is a knee jerk to a problem they've just had and one that is making the staff take the blame should anything go wrong. Its their network and equipment and they need to ensure they sercure it. You as an employee need to ensure that you dont put it in danger. I've no doubts that what ever airline site you used to book flights is most likely used in the normal run of business for anyone making flight plans for work trips. It could hardly be put forward that it endangered the company property.

What the boss is at is totally out of order. HR and/or your bosses boss need to be told.

As for being put on a new contract and put on probation. How long have you been with this company? 1year or more and you have your rights.

LegacyUser

The It in the place has been a disaster recently. There was a brilliant IT running things before the virus trouble. He left suddenly. There was a rumour that he caught someone fairly senior accessing porn. Next thing, no more was heard of him. They won't pay the money to get someone who is properly qualified and are relying on muddling through.
The guy is married so I think I might go out adn have some people in the background.

matt-dublin

Sounds like a fairly dodgy company????

Is there many people working there? Is there a union (payroll staff should be able to help)

Penn

corneredby boss wrote: »

The It in the place has been a disaster recently. There was a brilliant IT running things before the virus trouble. He left suddenly. There was a rumour that he caught someone fairly senior accessing porn. Next thing, no more was heard of him. They won't pay the money to get someone who is properly qualified and are relying on muddling through.
The guy is married so I think I might go out adn have some people in the background.

If you do decide to meet him in the pub, don't have people in the background, have them right up front. Have them beside you at all times making sure he knows that he can't do anything. Have them literally sitting at your table. Then, barely even talk to him. Talk to the people you're with.

28064212

corneredby boss wrote: »

The It in the place has been a disaster recently. There was a brilliant IT running things before the virus trouble. He left suddenly. There was a rumour that he caught someone fairly senior accessing porn. Next thing, no more was heard of him. They won't pay the money to get someone who is properly qualified and are relying on muddling through.
The guy is married so I think I might go out adn have some people in the background.

Have you decided how far you're willing to go? A kiss? A grope? A shag? Turn him down for a drink and it's a relatively minor rebuke. Turn him down after he has tried to kiss you, and it becomes a much bigger issue

Unless you can create a situation where "the drink" is absolutely nothing like a date (i.e. it's a work night out with lots of colleagues), you're better off just politely turning him down. Even if it is a work night out, make sure you don't drink any alcohol (if he asks, just tell him you're off it for a while, do not let him ply you with drink) and keep your wits about you

LegacyUser

A similar thing happend to me about 3 years ago (January 2008). I was working in a financial services company and was only about 5-6 months in Ireland. However I had been working in the company about 3 months and still on probation. I was enjoying my role and I got on very well with my boss who was older than me. He was seperated with a handicapped son around same age as me. I had hardly any friends here and I was finding it difficult to adjust to life here in Ireland. Anyway I was having problems with an application that I had used and had become infected with a viral and I began to struggle with a new software that was introduced. My boss began to have words with me about my performance and he said that I would reported to HR which would mean that I would not pass my probation.

One Thursday evening, my boss came into my office and offered to help me out. I gladly accepted. he said he would teach me the software which was a big help and in return that I would go out with him for a drink that Friday. Anyway one thing led to another and I went back to his house on the Friday, ended up having sex with him and on a number of occasions after over the next 3-4 weeks. I feel now that he took advantage of me but at the time I knew no better. Needless to say I managed fine, got through my probation and in the end after a year I got a promotion. My boss soon left the company after that.

Had I complained I would probably have not passed my probation and out on my ear after 12 months. Even if I went to HR they would have given him the benefit of the doubt and would have been difficult for me in the company. My boss was very popular. The OP needs to be careful however now I wish I had more foresight and courage and maybe invited along my workmates when he asked me out for the drinks on the Friday. He would have been checkmated. But hey I was younger and more naive.

Taltos

corneredby boss wrote: »

The It in the place has been a disaster recently. There was a brilliant IT running things before the virus trouble. He left suddenly. There was a rumour that he caught someone fairly senior accessing porn. Next thing, no more was heard of him. They won't pay the money to get someone who is properly qualified and are relying on muddling through.
The guy is married so I think I might go out adn have some people in the background.

OP - sorry to be blunt - but COP on.
What are you doing in agreeing to this? With mates or without.
Lets face it - this guy is scum - what will he try next - and believe me he will try.

It is all about power and intimidation - and slowly bit by bit chipping away at your self respect and you until you do give in. Drink my backside.

Look you have a few options.
1. Goto HR with a colleague
2. Goto his manager with a colleague
3. Call him on it - no don't want a drink and walk away.
4. Call him on the threat - go to HR yourself now and apologise for browsing the net.
5. Or give in and watch your feet slide from under you as he ups his game.

Utter creep.