hunting lie

snipe02

just for a bit of fun lads we have all
heard em whats the funniest most outrageous hunting/shooting/fishing lie you have ever been told personaly.mine goes like this i was out hunting foxes with terriers and a couple of lurchers i was with my uncle my cousin and a friend of my uncles whom i had never met before he started telling stories of his hunting forays most of which were believable and in teresting but then he came out with a wopper and told me while he was out with the lads who he usually hunts with they ran the dogs through a cover which they had surrounded.. now here comes the lie .two hundred hares bolted from the cover and him and his friends shot sixty of them.... i just looked over to my uncle and he whispered i know he is telling lies because his lips are moving..

EPointer=Birdss

Did u ask him was the license for the Gatling gun difficult to attain! 60 of 200. 30 % hit rate. U should have gone after that n asked y they missed so many!

mallards

When I was a kid my Dad took me Salmon fishing all the time. One year we were on a river in Donegal with two of his mates. We had fished it the whole day when myself and Dad decided to head of upstream. Anyway within the hour I hooked and landed my first ever Salmon (still as fresh in my mind as yesterday). When the excitment died down my Dad noticed a half dead little Salmon in the shallows. It wasn't more than half a pound and had three big holes of teeth marks in it! We reckoned it was a seal because of the size of the marks and closeness to the ocean. We killed it as it would not have lasted much longer. We finished for the day and went to meet up with my Dads mates, on the way the ole fella says we will give these lads an ole yarn and to go with the flow. He then sticks the small fish half way down the throat of my salmon. When we met the lads they were empty handed and were amazed to see me with a fish slung over my shoulder.
My Dad then started, "Lads, you'll never believe it! The young lad was casting into the pool up yonder and this little fish took the fly. He was just bringing him in when out of the depths this monster salmon rose and started chasing the little fish round the pool! I told the young lad to give it some slack and low and behold the big fish caught a hold of the little fish and swallowed it down! The young lad then had a mighty job of landing the both of them without the bigger one letting go! If you look at the little fish you can still see where the big fish was taking lumps out of him.":rolleyes:
Queue the look of sheer amazement of my dads mates faces and much back slapping from them! "Jasus lad, that's amazing and two fish for your first time!" I nodded and said "Yes, I'm very lucky!":D
Now, 25 years later they still bring the story up when I meet them and they really enjoy telling it! So I don't want to burst their bubble of a good fishing story.


Mallards

Tackleberrywho

Truth or lies, you tell me!

A guy I met once "I shot a snipe with a .22, well at least I thought I did, Snipe up, rifle up, bang snipe down.

The snipe was dead alright, ............he had hit a strand of elctric fence and broke his neck :D:D"

Cass

A conversation with a man a few months ago about deer shooting. Goes as follows:

Ezridax: " What the longest shot you ever took at a deer?"
Man: " Well i normally shoot them close up, but there was this one deer and i remember being amazed after i stepped the distance............."
Ezridax: "Well come on don't keep me in suspense, how long?"
Man: " 900 yards, give or take a foot or two".

Queue me staring in disbelief. He was using a .243 that was older than me and a scope that looked like a pen. Rather than be ignorant i let it slide. Then he started again. Thats right the story is not over:

Man: " thats not the best part"
Ezridax: "Hows that?"
Man: "When i got to the animal, what did i find, only another deer dead behind the one i shot"
Ezridax: "............ rrrriiiiiggggghhhhhttttttt......."
Man: " Seriously, when i shot the first one in the heart the bullet passed through him and hit the other one in the head".
Ezridax: " Wow!!!! Thats some shot. Could you excuse me, i have to go, i've.............. got ............. a ..................... thing............... bye"

It wasn't me!

ezridax wrote: »

A conversation with a man a few months ago about deer shooting. Goes as follows:

Ezridax: " What the longest shot you ever took at a deer?"
Man: " Well i normally shoot them close up, but there was this one deer and i remember being amazed after i stepped the distance............."
Ezridax: "Well come on don't keep me in suspense, how long?"
Man: " 900 yards, give or take a foot or two".

Queue me staring in disbelief. He was using a .243 that was older than me and a scope that looked like a pen. Rather than be ignorant i let it slide. Then he started again. Thats right the story is not over:

Man: " thats not the best part"
Ezridax: "Hows that?"
Man: "When i got to the animal, what did i find, only another deer dead behind the one i shot"
Ezridax: "............ rrrriiiiiggggghhhhhttttttt......."
Man: " Seriously, when i shot the first one in the heart the bullet passed through him and hit the other one in the head".
Ezridax: " Wow!!!! Thats some shot. Could you excuse me, i have to go, i've.............. got ............. a ..................... thing............... bye"

He does understand that you're supposed to step out the distance in a straight line, not walk around the bowl of a valley, right?

round tower huntsman

i've heard some whoppers over the years. the dog world especially in full of spoofers. take everything you hear with a pinch of salt and seeing is believing.

Feargal as Luimneach

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056052909&highlight=hare+stoat
The stoat and Hare story..........

Cass

It wasn't me! wrote: »

He does understand that you're supposed to step out the distance in a straight line, not walk around the bowl of a valley, right?

I thought he was doing "the old man shuffle" which translate into 5 paces per yard.

It wasn't me!

ezridax wrote: »

I thought he was doing "the old man shuffle" which translate into 5 paces per yard.

A totally plausible alternative.

landkeeper

the lads who consistantly shoot rabbits at 400 yrds in the head never miss mind you or manage to hit them in the body just the head

homerhop

anything that involves someone saying "I swear to god"

snipe02

good stuff keep em comin im laughing my arss off .a lad once told me he caught a 15 pound mackeral in wexford not 15 pound of mackeral but a 15 pounder

fish slapped

landkeeper wrote: »

the lads who consistantly shoot rabbits at 400 yrds in the head never miss mind you or manage to hit them in the body just the head

Yep with a 22 magnum!! :D

A few more good stories previously posted:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055380964

and more:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055619544

and these are true !! honest

They are ...

I'm tell'n ya their true...

Cass

Heh,heh. Good one Homerhop

Its like asking a builder for a price and they do that big "suck in/inhale". You just know to brace yourself.:D

landkeeper

fish slapped wrote: »

Yep with a 22 magnum!! :D

with anything !!!!!!!!:D

Tackleberrywho

landkeeper wrote: »

the lads who consistantly shoot rabbits at 400 yrds in the head never miss mind you or manage to hit them in the body just the head

I'd believe 400 with a good set up, but with a short skinny barrel and a scope off a pea shooter!

I bring an old codger out shooting teh odd time, and he has no concept of distance.

I shot a rabbit hill to hill once, he said 350 yards, I said to him maybe a bit shy

I had range found it before and I knew it to be 175 mark.
However heard that he is telling every one that I shot a rabbit @350. So when I actually do shoot a rabbit at range he passes no heed as He is expecting me to get rabbits @600:eek:

kieran1141

as a kid a old guy used to take me lamping with lurchers, he used to tell me about this black rabbit that he was after for year up the mountains, so 1 night he took me up the mountain in the wind and rain and you would never guess the first field he turned the lamp on here was the black rabbit, i nearly sh*t myself he let a roar let the dog go thats him, i let off the dog and he picked straight away, i was jumping up and down i was there for that great moment that that black rabbit was got i could hardley draw my breath....... UNTIL we went about 2 more fields and you would never guess here was another black rabbit, a lot of things raced trough my head then still never tought he was taking the pi** out of me, he said he must have a brother but then he burst out laughing, the place was full of black rabbits back then but when your 12 or 13. Another lad told me as a child he killed a rabbit with a rabbit as he had no cartridges left, rabbit bolted and just reacted by fireing the rabbit and killed him stone dead at the ditch...... did i realy look that stupid,,,,,MABEY....

johngalway

I can't tell my best ones anymore, he's online now

Was told a good story from years ago. Two lads going home from the pub on a Honda 50, except the light wasn't working. No problem, the passenger had a torch, so away they went. Across the bog road anyway and next thing a fox runs across the road onto the bog, the passenger follows it with the lamp and so does the bike

lee70

i once herd this spoof at least i think it was a spoof well it goes like this there was a chap and this mate they were out shooting all day and got nothing but on the way home the mate was on the back off a honda 50 they where just going over a bridge when a salmon jumped in the air the chap shot it in mid air though the eye and it landed on his lap what a story sounds a bit fishy to me LOL

snipe02

thats one unlucky salmon ....... my uncle always tell me about a lad he knew who could not tell truth about hunting apparently he told him he once went hunting rabbits with purse nets and a pet white rabbit when he was asked how he would get the rabbits with only purse nets and a pure white pet rabbit he replied he was going to net the burrows with the purse nets then put the white rabbit down the burrow and the other rabbits inside the burrow would think he was a ghost and bolt ...........ha ha ha ha

Bizzum

I heard this said years ago around my neck of the woods!

The first pheasant I ever shot was a rabbit and I killed him with a stick.

Auldloon

A friend of my dads had a few stories. Dan was a very lucky hunter as ye will see.
Once while sitting by the fireside he heard geese. Grabbed the gun, ran outside to see them flying over the house. He fired at one, shot it and it fell down the chimney...
Another time our hero fired at a hare running along a riverbank. Well would you believe it but a salmon leaped just at that time and a pheasant rose on the other bank. He dropped them all.
While coming home from shooting one day in heavy snow he got his car stuck in a snow drift. His brother was coming a bit behind him in his car and arrived home safely but wondering where was Dan. He had driven over Dan's car snow drift and all.
God I could go on but I wont.

rugerman

our trusty pub liar once said he had a famous pointer dog and went into a big cover and dog went missing he gave 6 months looking 4 the dog so he gave up 3 years later had another pointer walking up same cover and what do u know dog gone he rounded up all his brothers and family 2 look 4 dog found him 4months later dog was dead but still in pointing position whats in front or him only last pointer went missing and in front of him phesant

snipe02

Chuileog wrote: »

A friend of my dads had a few stories. Dan was a very lucky hunter as ye will see.
Once while sitting by the fireside he heard geese. Grabbed the gun, ran outside to see them flying over the house. He fired at one, shot it and it fell down the chimney...
Another time our hero fired at a hare running along a riverbank. Well would you believe it but a salmon leaped just at that time and a pheasant rose on the other bank. He dropped them all.
While coming home from shooting one day in heavy snow he got his car stuck in a snow drift. His brother was coming a bit behind him in his car and arrived home safely but wondering where was Dan. He had driven over Dan's car snow drift and all.
God I could go on but I wont.

please do there classic hope to hear more dan did he ever win the lotto

lee70

Chuileog wrote: »

A friend of my dads had a few stories. Dan was a very lucky hunter as ye will see.
Once while sitting by the fireside he heard geese. Grabbed the gun, ran outside to see them flying over the house. He fired at one, shot it and it fell down the chimney...
Another time our hero fired at a hare running along a riverbank. Well would you believe it but a salmon leaped just at that time and a pheasant rose on the other bank. He dropped them all.
While coming home from shooting one day in heavy snow he got his car stuck in a snow drift. His brother was coming a bit behind him in his car and arrived home safely but wondering where was Dan. He had driven over Dan's car snow drift and all.
God I could go on but I wont.

thats a great yarn i'm sure i've herd it before it didn't happen in kilkenny by any chance so funny i've been splitting my sides for a few days now LOL

lee70

great thread snipe well done some great stories LOL

snipe02

lee70 wrote: »

thats a great yarn i'm sure i've herd it before it didn't happen in kilkenny by any chance so funny i've been splitting my sides for a few days now LOL

in kilkenny a lad said he was out in the back garden when he spotted a flight of ducks over his house so he ran in and got his shotgun but could not get out in time so he put the gun up the chimney and and let fly with both barrels killing three mallard thats the way i heard it... heard the one about the pointers to ......a lot of fairy tales down here in kilkenny .good stuff same lad reckons he put his gun down to something or other when a cock pheasant flushed from the high grass in front of him but not to worry because his trusty cocker stood on the trigger and shot the cock .......loven the stories keep em coming

Auldloon

Thanks lads, yes Dan was some boy alright. I dont think he ever won anything or we would all have known about it. Lee these stories came from Clare but who knows where Dan heard them.
I have been trying to think of others from the adventures of Dan but I cant come up with any at the minute.
However I heard a few in the pub one night years ago that all happened around the Fermoy area. Not hunting but good none the less.
A few guys were out fishing the local river when they discovered a fish cage hidden in some bushes. They had a fair idea who would have put it there and knew he would replace it as fast as they could smash them so they decided to play a trick on him.
They took it in turns to visit the cage and release any fish caught and ocassionally replace them with things like mackerel, pollock and finally a lobster.
It was the lobster that made the boy crack in the pub one night and announce the strange goings on and predict the end of the world!

One of the same lads foolishly asked the others to finish his lawn while he was away on honeymoon. The rotaveted, harrowed and seeded it for him one half grass the other barley:D

kieran1141

old lad used to say "i put silver paper in a stone and throw it into the river dog would dive in swim to bottom and retrieve stone with silver paper on it, same lad had a pointer that used to set so hard that blood came out the tip of his tale, and all his dogs were trained to hunt on the other side of the ditch so all birds were flushed out to him.

rugerman

ye that tale from kilkenny same man also said he was thinking whats best way to catch salmon on river he said he painted a waterfall on the back of the boat within ten minutes boat was so full of salmon the boat sank and he cant swim i asks how did u get to land he said what else could he do only walk in

deeksofdoom

Was in at the butchers a while back and he was going on about what a great little round the .22 was.... then he stated to tell em about how he knew a fellah who shot a deer with a .22 sitting up on the bonnet of his car using peep sights at 200yards and the deer dropped dead.

And he wouldn't believe it only that he saw it himself.:rolleyes:

Spunk84

Remember when I was younger the local dog men had a story about the river bann which ran behind our estate. The story was that they were washing there lurchers off in the river one day and one of the dogs swam out into the middle, all of a sudden a 90lb pike came up and took the dog,they knew it was this pike as it eats a dog every year LMFAO I believed this for years and never let my dogs into the water

ormondprop

I was chatting to a digger driver last year at work and he was telling me that he shoots foxes well out past 500 yards and that the week before he shot one at 550 yards, he pointed at a shed atleast 1km away and said he was about that far away, humouring him i said thats good shooting and asked what rifle he had, and he told me he has a lovely brno hornet but its not about the rifle, he has a telescopic sight on it the same as the snipers in movies use, a nikko stirling 4x32:rolleyes:

He then started to tell me that his son is even a better shot and can knock foxes way further out than he can, and they always shoot free hand as resting the rifle on something is cheating, his son supposedly shot a fox at 800 yards one night, he was so far away that the cross hair was bigger than the fox so he just covered the fox with the centre of the cross hair and the fox fell, i never realised a hornet was so flat out to 800 yards:D

graham h

ormondprop wrote: »

I was chatting to a digger driver last year at work and he was telling me that he shoots foxes well out past 500 yards and that the week before he shot one at 550 yards, he pointed at a shed atleast 1km away and said he was about that far away, humouring him i said thats good shooting and asked what rifle he had, and he told me he has a lovely brno hornet but its not about the rifle, he has a telescopic sight on it the same as the snipers in movies use, a nikko stirling 4x32:rolleyes:

He then started to tell me that his son is even a better shot and can knock foxes way further out than he can, and they always shoot free hand as resting the rifle on something is cheating, his son supposedly shot a fox at 800 yards one night, he was so far away that the cross hair was bigger than the fox so he just covered the fox with the centre of the cross hair and the fox fell, i never realised a hornet was so flat out to 800 yards:D

i know that digger driver your talking about robert furlong his name is lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=vWd23yg72VA

kemen

i love watchin that video!!!

theres a man beside me that has a terrier that can run up ladders catchin crows in a loft and retrieves them live to hand!!!

kildare.17hmr

ormondprop wrote: »

I was chatting to a digger driver last year at work and he was telling me that he shoots foxes well out past 500 yards and that the week before he shot one at 550 yards, he pointed at a shed atleast 1km away and said he was about that far away, humouring him i said thats good shooting and asked what rifle he had, and he told me he has a lovely brno hornet but its not about the rifle, he has a telescopic sight on it the same as the snipers in movies use, a nikko stirling 4x32:rolleyes:

He then started to tell me that his son is even a better shot and can knock foxes way further out than he can, and they always shoot free hand as resting the rifle on something is cheating, his son supposedly shot a fox at 800 yards one night, he was so far away that the cross hair was bigger than the fox so he just covered the fox with the centre of the cross hair and the fox fell, i never realised a hornet was so flat out to 800 yards:D

Just coz you couldnt do it :rolleyes: lol

ormondprop

kildare.17hmr wrote: »

Just coz you couldnt do it :rolleyes: lol

Ah i could have managed it with my old hornet if i aimed about 14ft over the fox:D

sonofthegun

kieran1141 wrote: »

old lad used to say "i put silver paper in a stone and throw it into the river dog would dive in swim to bottom and retrieve stone with silver paper on it,


lad
i hope you didnt hear that story around tipp cause it aint a lie i saw it the dog was a springer lad used squash a coke can and thow it into the river dog would retrieve it i wouldnt believe it only i saw it happen all in the village of fethard
stog

Alucan

A lad that lives beside me bought a 30 06 last year and swears
That it is accurate out to a mile you just hold the cross hairs dead on any where from 10 yards out to a mile and has shot deer at the mile

But if I had a gun that shot that flat I could probably Do it as well :D:D

TriggerPL

Ezridax wrote: »

A conversation with a man a few months ago about deer shooting. Goes as follows:

Ezridax: " What the longest shot you ever took at a deer?"
Man: " Well i normally shoot them close up, but there was this one deer and i remember being amazed after i stepped the distance............."
Ezridax: "Well come on don't keep me in suspense, how long?"
Man: " 900 yards, give or take a foot or two".

Queue me staring in disbelief. He was using a .243 that was older than me and a scope that looked like a pen. Rather than be ignorant i let it slide. Then he started again. Thats right the story is not over:

Man: " thats not the best part"
Ezridax: "Hows that?"
Man: "When i got to the animal, what did i find, only another deer dead behind the one i shot"
Ezridax: "............ rrrriiiiiggggghhhhhttttttt......."
Man: " Seriously, when i shot the first one in the heart the bullet passed through him and hit the other one in the head".
Ezridax: " Wow!!!! Thats some shot. Could you excuse me, i have to go, i've.............. got ............. a ..................... thing............... bye"

900 yards give a foot or two ? 900 foot give a foot or two more like ! Is it possible this man steps wore in feet ? .

kildare.17hmr

Makes sense trigger

Cass

ormondprop wrote: »

.................... i never realised a hornet was so flat out to 800 yards:D

Yeah, that's why the Hornett is gaining popularity among the F-Class circles.:rolleyes::D

TriggerPL wrote: »

.............! Is it possible this man steps wore in feet ? .

I thought so too, and questioned him o it. He said it was definitely yards, but his ability to measure by pacing was so good he could range a distance to within a foot or so just by looking, and when he walked it he was only a foot out.

I would have some reservations about the 900 foot thing, but it's a hell of a lot more believable than 900 yards (2,700 feet).


Another good one recently, which was almost believable until i thought about it was a lad than had shot 2,186 foxes. No more, no less. Two weeks before it was 1,879, and two weeks before that it was 1,612, and so on. Anyway i was thinking about this and asked the lad about cost. He was a bit puzzled. I said you shoot with a 'Swift and ammo is €42 per 20. So that's over 100 boxes of ammo meaning you've spent over €4,200 on ammo for the swift, assuming you hit a fox with every bullet. That's right was the answer.

Next time i was in the dealers the same lad was there. I remember looking and laughing as the dealer said to him, "Jeez, haven't seen you in a while. What'll it be". When the lad left i asked the dealer does he buy much. He said not really. Maybe 4 or 5 boxes per year.

declan1980

A lad in our gun club was in the rangers about 30 years ago and considers himself to be a rifle expert. He has a .22 hornet and swears the bullets are doing 20,000 feet per second, and are shooting dead flat out to 400 yards with a 100 yard zero. I told him I was getting a .243, and he said that those rounds would be doing at least 60,000 feet per second. He also claimed to have shot half inch groups standing at 300 yards with a .303

cookimonster

Brilliant thread, especially on wet afternoon:D. What I love is all those dead eyed dick, long distance, snap shot shooters who's guns are suddenly misfireing or not zeroed properly when they are consistently off target on the range.;)

Double Barrel

A tall tale and the fish who swallowed it.

The Partridge Dog, a True story.

I took him out shooting one day and he disappeared. I looked and looked, called and whistled but I never did find my dog. I knew he was a good dog. He would not break a point if he ever set a covey of birds. He would just point and hold them until I gave him the signal to flush.

Well the following year I was hunting the same ground and I found his bones where he had being standing in a big patch of briars at full point and he had twelve little piles of bleached partridge bones in front of him. He had set a covey of birds and stood there and held them till they all starved to death.

The best partridge dog I ever had.

patdahat

well i had a red setter the best dog in the land he was setting at 6 months old, hair straight as a die from nose to the tip of his tail some red setter he was lad. well he'd find a bird in the next parish he would some nose he had, bagging thousands of birds over the years, well that red setter lived he did until he was grey and the best part of 16 years working til he's final days some red setter lad i tell you. well i decided to make a waist coat out of him when he died to have him as a good luck charm with me on my shooting day's because some dog he was and was never left at home. well on the first of November i put on the waist coat as a mark of remembrance and went for a walk over ground where we had many a bird, Well lad i tell you no lie but as i got to a corner where we often met a rooster didn't the hairs on the waist coat stand straight and out of the furs was a might cock pheasant some dog he was lad and that's no lie.

charlie10

patdahat wrote: »

well i had a red setter the best dog in the land he was setting at 6 months old, hair straight as a die from nose to the tip of his tail some red setter he was lad. well he'd find a bird in the next parish he would some nose he had, bagging thousands of birds over the years, well that red setter lived he did until he was grey and the best part of 16 years working til he's final days some red setter lad i tell you. well i decided to make a waist coat out of him when he died to have him as a good luck charm with me on my shooting day's because some dog he was and was never left at home. well on the first of November i put on the waist coat as a mark of remembrance and went for a walk over ground where we had many a bird, Well lad i tell you no lie but as i got to a corner where we often met a rooster didn't the hairs on the waist coat stand straight and out of the furs was a might cock pheasant some dog he was lad and that's no lie.

brilliant reminds me of a friend of mine ha ha

dodderangler

'when I was 19 I shot a guy in Laos from a thousand yards out. 5 maybe 10 people in the world could've made that shot'
Just thought I'd throw that in from lethal weapon 1

deeksofdoom

dodderangler wrote: »

'when I was 19 I shot a guy in Laos from a thousand yards out. 5 maybe 10 people in the world could've made that shot'
Just thought I'd throw that in from lethal weapon 1

I thought you had Laois there when I read that first:eek:

dodderangler

deeksofdoom wrote: »

dodderangler wrote: »

'when I was 19 I shot a guy in Laos from a thousand yards out. 5 maybe 10 people in the world could've made that shot'
Just thought I'd throw that in from lethal weapon 1

I thought you had Laois there when I read that first:eek:

Ha no the bloke I shot in Laois was about 2 thousand yards out and it's a secret so dont tell anyone
Oops