The First Date Shag Consequences..

Snap2010 · 10-11-2010 11:45pm

Brings to mind Family Guy - Shiboopi

marcusg18181 · 02-01-2011 1:57am

Hi - What does anyone think of girls who slept with other guys on first date, but not with you? ...may be drink, or may be years ago when she had less sense etc... - Does that mean less potential for long term relationship with you, or less? - i.e. does that mean she likes you more, or less than the other guys!!

Or is it just irrelevant?

minidazzler · 02-01-2011 2:08am

marcusg18181 wrote: »

Hi - What does anyone think of girls who slept with other guys on first date, but not with you? ...may be drink, or may be years ago when she had less sense etc... - Does that mean less potential for long term relationship with you, or less? - i.e. does that mean she likes you more, or less than the other guys!!

Or is it just irrelevant?

How would I know this on a first date? I wouldn't (and assume most others don't) generally talk about past conquests on a first date.

But in general it wouldn't bother me too much. Now, if a girl strung me along it's a different story, but it's only the first date.

killerking · 02-01-2011 12:10pm

This crazy test is exactly the same as what some women do to men, if they like the guy refuse to have sex with him the first/few dates to gauge if he is really interested and sticks around and waits or if he walks away he was just in it for the nookie.

All that test achieves is a guy will wait until the first few dates are over when she is comfortable to have sex. At the same time he could be chatting up other women getting their numbers and sleeping with them. If a guy is over at a girl's place after a movie, a meal, drinks and if getting comfy with her on the sofa or in the bedroom and she says she is not ready yet, after he leaves he might have the option of texting a half-dozen other women he has been having sex with.

Maguined · 02-01-2011 4:03pm

Obviously no test is 100% reliable but it will weed out plenty of guys that are not patient enough to do that and will just walk away the first time they get refused.

Josh_Calvert · 02-01-2011 9:14pm

It's all about the girl.If she's sexually self-confident, that's different to being sexually wild because of self-esteem issues or just craving attention.

As someone said above, guys get credit (from women as well as men btw-though women pretend to be offended by it) for high numbers of sexual encounters due to the massive amounts of energy,determination, and resilience it takes to have these experiences.

Women (even ugly/unstable women) can get whatever sexual experiences they want with minimal effort.Hence there's no real summation to be given other than a woman is satisfying her baser instincts in a way that commands no real respect or admiration.Contrastingly, guys really do super-appreciate when a woman stays faithful in a relationship because it's so much easier for them to wander.

Reward · 03-01-2011 1:43am

So if a man exercises his right to separate women into shag and ltr material he is wrong? Women and men are perfectly entitled to separate sex partners into short and long term based on what ever criteria they chose, IMO.

Darlughda · 03-01-2011 1:45am

Reward wrote: »

So if a man exercises his right to separate women into shag and ltr material he is wrong? Women and men are perfectly entitled to separate sex partners into short and long terms based on what ever criteria they chose, IMO.

Your point is not clear. Please elaborate.

Reward · 03-01-2011 1:49am

Darlughda wrote: »

Your point is not clear. Please elaborate.

I'm saying that individuals have the right to chose whether they consider someone a long term or short term sex parter based on criteria of their own setting.

Reward · 03-01-2011 1:57am

In fact, its ridiculously controlling to suggest that they shouldnt have that right.

K-9 · 03-01-2011 2:09am

Reward wrote: »

In fact, its ridiculously controlling to suggest that they shouldnt have that right.

Don't think anybody is suggesting they shouldn't, just their own view on it.

Personally, having had a few ONS's, they aren't for me. As for painting men as legends for loads of ONS's, I think that is unfair. Plenty of men don't see them as legends, to me that is over played, to such an extent that it is seen as some equality issue for some women.

Reward · 03-01-2011 2:17am

K-9 wrote: »

Don't think anybody is suggesting they shouldn't, just their own view on it.

Personally, having had a few ONS's, they aren't for me. As for painting men as legends for loads of ONS's, I think that is unfair. Plenty of men don't see them as legends, to me that is over played, to such an extent that it is seen as some equality issue for some women.

"Hes a stud shes a slut" is an irrelevant cliche at this stage as far as I'm concerned. If a woman is being labelled a slut, its often by other women. Also, men that are too sexually liberated or successful are can often be given negative labels by women and rejected as long term relationship material.

Men and women are effected by sexual double standards, for example a female cougar is celebrated, the male version is called a pedophile, pervert, pathetic or whatever.

At the end of the day, a guy screening out women for long term relationships in the basis of their sexual behaviour and past, is as reasonable as a woman screening a man on the same basis, to suggest otherwise is operating a sexual double standard.

K-9 · 03-01-2011 2:33am

Reward wrote: »

"Hes a stud shes a slut" is an irrelevant cliche at this stage as far as I'm concerned. If a woman is being labelled a slut, its often by other women. Also, men that are too sexually liberated or successful are can often be given negative labels by women and rejected as long term relationship material.

Yep, some women can be as bad at throwing labels around. Yep promiscuous can be rejected by women and I can see the logic in that, others see it a desirable quality so stereotyping here is moot IMO.

Reward wrote:

Men and women are effected by sexual double standards, for example a female cougar is celebrated, the male version is called a pedophile, pervert, pathetic or whatever.

Bit OTT but I see your point. Suppose it depends, Hugh Heffner is seen as a bit of a lech by many, including myself, other men see him as a legend.

Reward wrote:

At the end of the day, a guy screening out women for long term relationships in the basis of their sexual behaviour and past, is as reasonable as a woman screening a man on the same basis, to suggest otherwise is operating a sexual double standard.

Yep, I'd agree. Unfortunately to me, it is far more common men have the double standard. Still, double standards and hypocrisy don't tend to be specific to a particular sex!

ArtSmart · 03-01-2011 2:36am

Darlughda wrote: »

Ok. Question for all you gentlemen in this forum.

Spotted a thread in PI just the now, and a fella stated honestly that if he sleeps with a girl on the first date, he would consider sleeping with her again, but not dating.

I was beyond shocked to say the least, after all, he slept with her!
What I am saying in do any of you, honestly, still have this kind of idea in your head - if she sleeps with you on first date-then no to dating just a potential ons or fb in the future?

Can you explain this double standard to me? Or give your honest reasoning if you agree with this? It just leaves me flabbergasted that these kind of old fashioned standards are still going strong today.....

'you're touching a deep and dark truth, covered in shrouds of silent secrecy and sealed in omerta.

leave well enough alone lassie....'

(imagine old Scottish man saying the above, with a fire flickering in the background)

Reward · 03-01-2011 2:48am

K-9 wrote: »

Yep, some women can be as bad at throwing labels around. Yep promiscuous can be rejected by women and I can see the logic in that, others see it a desirable quality so stereotyping here is moot IMO.

Bit OTT but I see your point. Suppose it depends, Hugh Heffner is seen as a bit of a lech by many, including myself, other men see him as a legend.

Yep, I'd agree. Unfortunately to me, it is far more common men have the double standard. Still, double standards and hypocrisy don't tend to be specific to a particular sex!

And a cheating woman can do far more damage to her partner than a cheating man can do to her, if a man cheats there is no risk of a life time of paternity fraud! A man has much more to lose so you could in fact argue that he might actually be justified in running a double standard.

And there are lots of double standards that women enforce out there, for example - woman seeking a one night stand is an empowered/liberated woman and no man has the right to criticise right? Man doing the same is an asshole, a creep or a user to many women.
More here - http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1375083

K-9 · 03-01-2011 3:18am

Reward wrote: »

And a cheating woman can do far more damage to her partner than a cheating man can do to her, if a man cheats there is no risk of a life time of paternity fraud! A man has much more to lose so you could in fact argue that he might actually be justified in running a double standard.

Errr, nope, but then I am very morally absolute on this! To me, it's a reflection of character, regardless of sex. Either somebody is loyal and honest or they aren't, regardless of sex. I'd have my character flaws but those aren't one of them!

Reward wrote:

And there are lots of double standards that women enforce out there, for example - woman seeking a one night stand is an empowered/liberated woman and no man has the right to criticise right? Man doing the same is an asshole, a creep or a user to many women.
More here - http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1375083

Manys the woman that doesn't see it as that, but feel free to turn this into a gender battle, though I never got the impression that is what the thread was about.

Interesting piece, but the articles opinions are very vague to me.

Reward · 03-01-2011 3:34am

K-9 wrote: »

Errr, nope, but then I am very morally absolute on this! To me, it's a reflection of character, regardless of sex. Either somebody is loyal and honest or they aren't, regardless of sex. I'd have my character flaws but those aren't one of them!

Manys the woman that doesn't see it as that, but feel free to turn this into a gender battle, though I never got the impression that is what the thread was about.

Interesting piece, but the articles opinions are very vague to me.

Its not my intention to turn it into a gander battle but, I do think that its important to tell men they sexual double standards effect them and that women are enforcers of sexual double standards too, it raises our consciousness. It can benefit women to know these things too, the ones that mistakenly believe that sexual double standards only effect them or that the ones that effect them are the only ones that matter can grow grow from the knowledge.

K-9 · 03-01-2011 3:41am

Reward wrote: »

Its not my intention to turn it into a gander battle but, I do think that its important to tell men they sexual double standards effect them and that women are enforcers of sexual double standards too, it raises our consciousness. It can benefit women to know these things too, the ones that mistakenly believe that sexual double standards only effect them or that the ones that effect them are the only ones that matter can grow grow from the knowledge.

Or aspiring to sexual promiscuity because some men are, isn't necessarily a good thing.

Speaks of equality just for the sake of it to me but alas, I think we are too late in pointing this out.

People tend to focus on the rights of equality but pay lip service to the responsibilities and it doesn't seem to be a gender specific thing.

Censorsh!t · 03-01-2011 11:06pm

I've never been the kind of person to have a one night stand, i don't have good self esteem or any of that, but the other night I decided, you know fcuk it, and I went back with some guy. It was the first time I've had a one night stand.

I wasn't quite sure, and I'm still not, if it was a good idea. I mean, the guy is really nice, and I could see me really liking him, we got on very well, but I'm just scared he'll have some stupid attitude toward sex and think I'm a slut who sleeps with anyone. He did text me the day after and was very nice but I am doubting my actions now.

senordingdong · 04-01-2011 9:35am

Censorsh!t wrote: »

I wasn't quite sure, and I'm still not, if it was a good idea. I mean, the guy is really nice, and I could see me really liking him, we got on very well, but I'm just scared he'll have some stupid attitude toward sex and think I'm a slut who sleeps with anyone. He did text me the day after and was very nice but I am doubting my actions now.

Well, one night stands don't really work the same when you know the other person.
There is plenty of etiquette for the act.

killerking · 04-01-2011 9:56am

Censorsh!t wrote: »

I've never been the kind of person to have a one night stand, i don't have good self esteem or any of that, but the other night I decided, you know fcuk it, and I went back with some guy. It was the first time I've had a one night stand.

I wasn't quite sure, and I'm still not, if it was a good idea. I mean, the guy is really nice, and I could see me really liking him, we got on very well, but I'm just scared he'll have some stupid attitude toward sex and think I'm a slut who sleeps with anyone. He did text me the day after and was very nice but I am doubting my actions now.

Why are you doubting your actions now? You have no logical basis to do that.
He seems nice and he did text you the day after so what's the problem?

senordingdong · 04-01-2011 10:13am

killerking wrote: »

Why are you doubting your actions now? You have no logical basis to do that.
He seems nice and he did text you the day after so what's the problem?

Paranoia.

QWERTY234 · 05-01-2011 5:10pm

If a key can open many locks, it is a Master Key. However if a lock can be open by many keys it is a sh*t lock

Reward · 05-01-2011 6:38pm

Censorsh!t wrote: »

I've never been the kind of person to have a one night stand, i don't have good self esteem or any of that, but the other night I decided, you know fcuk it, and I went back with some guy. It was the first time I've had a one night stand.

I wasn't quite sure, and I'm still not, if it was a good idea. I mean, the guy is really nice, and I could see me really liking him, we got on very well, but I'm just scared he'll have some stupid attitude toward sex and think I'm a slut who sleeps with anyone. He did text me the day after and was very nice but I am doubting my actions now.

You shouldn't place restrictions on yourself like that and at the end of the day, even if he did have "some stupid attitude toward sex", thats his attitude problem, not yours.

Howard the Duck · 05-01-2011 10:57pm

If i like a girl and we have sex on the first date it won't stop me liking her or make me think she's a "slag" or something like that, It's 2011 it's ok for girls to like sex as much as guys.

I did recently break up with a girl i was dating and she regretted having sex on our first date, she thought this was the reason i didn't want to see her. I told her it wasn't but don't think she believed me.

senordingdong · 06-01-2011 8:33am

Howard the Duck wrote: »

If i like a girl and we have sex on the first date it won't stop me liking her or make me think she's a "slag" or something like that, It's 2011 it's ok for girls to like sex as much as guys..

Indeed.
Infact, if anything, it would make me want a second date.

OutlawPete · 07-01-2011 12:56am

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Men be crazy! With their double standards ..

Some men.

midlandsmissus wrote: »

It boils down to: women CANNOT have sex when they want to due to huge societal pressure from men.

Course they can, what's stopping them?

Any women I know, who hear of a guy sleeping around, think of them in the same light as men think of similar women.

Sorry, but I don't see the so called "double standard" myself.

Look at Tiger Woods, do you see many men calling him a "stud"?

He's a laughing stock and a seen as a sleazy one at that.

midlandsmissus wrote: »

And then men complain that is is hard to get sex.

Whole other issue.

midlandsmissus wrote: »

It would boggle the brain, I'm going to talk to my sensible women.

Implication being that the men here are not?

As far as I'm concerned, if a woman sleeps with a man on the first date, I wouldn't see that as any kind of indicator that she would be unfaithful at some point in the future.

HavingCrack · 07-01-2011 3:04pm

QWERTY234 wrote: »

If a key can open many locks, it is a Master Key. However if a lock can be open by many keys it is a sh*t lock

This phrase really should be banned.

Reward · 07-01-2011 6:07pm

OutlawPete wrote: »

Some men.

Course they can, what's stopping them?

Any women I know, who hear of a guy sleeping around, think of them in the same light as men think of similar women.

Sorry, but I don't see the so called "double standard" myself.

Look at Tiger Woods, do you see many men calling him a "stud"?

He's a laughing stock and a seen as a sleazy one at that.

Whole other issue.

Implication being that the men here are not?

As far as I'm concerned, if a woman sleeps with a man on the first date, I wouldn't see that as any kind of indicator that she would be unfaithful at some point in the future, should they go to have a relationship.

To my mind, women do more shaming and labelling of both men and other women for nonconformist sexual behaviour than men do, but all responsibility for it is projected onto men.

HavingCrack · 07-01-2011 9:25pm

Reward wrote: »

To my mind, women do more shaming and labelling of both men and other women for nonconformist sexual behaviour than men do, but all responsibility for it is projected onto men.

I agree with the first part, you hear women calling other women 'whore' and 'slapper' far more than men do. I'm not too sure is all blame for it shifted to men though.

The First Date Shag Consequences..

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