Getting over someone

metrovelvet

Earthhorse wrote: »

Sure, but revisionism usually takes place after some time and distance, it's not normally something that happens in the course of a night.

You'd be surprised. Nothing as strange as folk as they say.

Xiney

I just posted this in the emotions thread, but I figured I'd repost it here too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

starlit

1. Cry, grieve and get all your emotion and feelings out of the system just let it all out and get rid of all excess emotional baggage, clear the head and declutter your life which was surrounded by your ex beau.
2. Watch dvd's, eat ice-cream, popcorn, sweeties, indulge chocolate etc have a little party for yourself.
3. Get busy, any projects that need doing, do it and do things around the house and meet up with friends and chat.
4. Go out get drunk, meet loads of guys, flirt, snog them, have one night stands if your into them and going out on the prowl will really perk you up, you realise what you were missing. Enjoy being single. Plently more fish in the sea nd wondering what you saw in your ex beau. Good talent out there if you know where to look!
5. Before you know it you'll be with another new beau!

RacoonQueen

g'em wrote: »

which part - the letter or the list of bad points?

Writing a letter is a really cathartic way to get the massive jumble of thoughts racing around your mind out of your system, it's a kind of cleansing ritual to put a spiritual slant on it. In a letter that you don't send you can say all the things you would love to say to a person (but know you never should lest your sanity be called into question ). Regardless of whether it's a good or a bad break up the letter thing can help you resolve any lingering questions you have about someone, it helps put clarity on a situation. Particularly if it's a bad break up - you can call them every name under the sun, rant and rave and give out shyte to them and go mental in private whilst keeping your dignity firmly in tact in public!

The list of bad points works better when it's a bad break up, but applies to good ones too. Not only is time a healer, it also has a tendency to be viewed with rose-tinted glasses. As time goes by you may tend to forget that 99% of a person's actions were toxic or bad, and only fondly remember the 1% of the good stuff. Having something on paper, in hard copy, to read and remind of you just what a bad person they were or how not right for you they were can help you see the past more clearly.

Ta' good explanations. Suppose I probably make a list in my head but never wrote stuff down.

Be interesting to see how guys get over someone, though even with the large volume of men on this site you'd never get many with the guts to post it. I think I'd be largely different to whats on here.

cactuspaw

theres getting over a relationship and the person you shared every thing with and then there is getting over sombody you fancied for ages. both are hard.
the first one is heartbreaking if you let it be, or you could just rember how awful and crap they made you feel. you can get over it by thinkin "f him, i can go have a life now, not have to listen to his moanin and worry about his problems ect". well thats what i did anyway.
the other one takes more for time. I was uncontrolably attracted to a guy i used to work with. a friend had to litterly pull me out of a pub one night when i met him there, for fear that me in a drunk state would make a fool of myself. I used to "just happen to be" near his office or in the smoking area when he was there so I could talk to him. (not to mention a training weekend and me and him being paired up). It was all very childish. But I still get weak at the knees thinkin of him. he was way out of my leauge and off with some sophisticated forgein girl at the time anyway, so nothing would have ever happened. the only way i did get over this insane crush was getting a serious reality check being diagnosed with a awful illness. he wasnt realy that inportant to me after that.
fancying sombody it just so much harder, becouse you always think there is some slight glimmer of hope, or maybe its the excitement of the chase or the "dose he like me?" thing.

La frog fairy

cactuspaw wrote: »

fancying sombody it just so much harder, becouse you always think there is some slight glimmer of hope, or maybe its the excitement of the chase or the "dose he like me?" thing.

agree too, although last time i did had a type of a "strong crush" on a guy i repeated to myself "if he did fancy me, he would ask me out", shy or not, from what i have witness personaly and with my male friends they do take the plunge when they like you so next time you feel overwhelmed by a crush just tell yourself that and believe me you wont feel stuck into neverending thoughts of him and move on quickly.

Cheer up and have a good weekend

Konata

I know it may be hard to admit right now, but the only true healer of heartbreak is time. I've been in your situation many times - with guys who've led me on, guys who've cheated on me, guys who've just generally been assholes and I never thought I'd get over quite a few of them. But with the passing weeks, months and now years, I find myself not even thinking about them anymore - never thought that would happen

So believe that these feelings will pass and for now, just do everything you can to make yourself feel better. It's easy to wallow but try not to - go out with friends, particularly single ones, and enjoy their company. Enjoy dancing, enjoy chatting, whatever - all the things you can take pleasure in without the hassle of an asshole hanging over you!

Mrs Garth Brooks

One thing which made things easier today so im going to keep up with the thought when i do think of him.

I used to work with him. And i hated that job with a passion. The people i worked with weren't too nice either (some of them were but only a few). There was alot of negativity and he used to worry and freak out over the smallest thing. Dont think i can handle a worrier. Thinking of him in work = doesn't do it for me. Think of him, think of work and thats the thought over with.

I left that place and moving onto better things. Screw him too.

blue5000

'Be interesting to see how guys get over someone, though even with the large volume of men on this site you'd never get many with the guts to post it. I think I'd be largely different to whats on here'.

Hi racoon queen, just to let you know from a guy, some of us feel the pain too. As already said its a grieving process and time is the best healer. Painful reminders of where you used meet are the hardest thing to get rid of.

OP please don't get a tat, just not a good time I think, try and forgive him, he's only human too.

yours

know this feeling, its hard, really hard..

try do some things you like doing, go out, try enjoy yourself, let the days turn into weeks and the weeks to months.

I know a lot easier said than done...

Time IS a great healer!

Good luck girl