What to do with Jesus in my kitchen?

demakinz

Iv just moved house today and there is one of them creepy Jesus pictures with the red light in my kitchen. The landlord said i cant take it down because its wired in and some other bull so im stuck with him.

I don't want any religious stuff up in my new house especially the big creepy Jesus one.

Im sure the good people of AH's have some ideas on how to hide it or change it somehow?

Btwndeyes

demakinz wrote: »

Iv just moved house today and there is one of them creepy Jesus pictures with the red light in my kitchen. The landlord said i cant take it down because its wired in and some other bull so im stuck with him.

I don't want any religious stuff up in my new house especially the big creepy Jesus one.

Im sure the good people of AH's have some ideas on how to hide it or change it somehow?

Dynamite should do it.

MagicMarker

just take it down.

Itsdacraic

MagicMarker wrote: »

just take it down.

:rolleyes:

Black Swan

Add salt

TheZohanS

Burn down your house.

Dravokivich

demakinz wrote: »

Iv just moved house today and there is one of them creepy Jesus pictures with the red light in my kitchen. The landlord said i cant take it down because its wired in and some other bull so im stuck with him.

Tell him you'll get an electrician in and sub the charge from the rent due, if he's not confident about taking it down himself...

conorhal

demakinz wrote: »

Iv just moved house today and there is one of them creepy Jesus pictures with the red light in my kitchen. The landlord said i cant take it down because its wired in and some other bull so im stuck with him.

I don't want any religious stuff up in my new house especially the big creepy Jesus one.

Im sure the good people of AH's have some ideas on how to hide it or change it somehow?

Enjoy it for it's kitsch value and add a picture of JFK and Elvis to it's left and right obviously. :rolleyes:

RP Mc murphy

You've found the red light, now get Roxanne over for some funky sh1t.

phill106

Make a grilled jesus sandwich...



wwjd?

ejmaztec

Just drill two holes through the eyeballs and install two flashing red led bulbs.

MitchKoobski

Take the bulb out and then put a sheet over it?

WindSock

+1 for kitsch value. Decorate your house with dated 70's Father Ted style wallpaper & furnishings to match.

tricky D

Give it water, get wine.

Canis Lupus

Unscrew the bulb and then stick a metal fork into the socket.

ClutchIt

demakinz wrote: »

Im sure the good people of AH's have some ideas on how to hide it?

Hide it by placing something else over it

Voodu Child

MagicMarker wrote: »

just take it down.

He can't take it down because its 'wired in'. If he cut the wires then the electricity would spill all over the floor and cause a terrible mess.

_feedback_

Does your landlord look like this OP?

bonerm

wwjd?

My name is URL

My house had one when I moved in.. I just took the picture down and got a new fitting for the light

Canis Lupus

bonerm wrote: »

wwjd?

What...would... J do?

Stuck on the J.

Black Swan

Roll back the stone so he can leave.

fonecrusher1

Just replace the picture of JC with one of a kitten. It'll be cute & kind of creepy.

Sanjuro

Get one of those movement-activated sound boards they have in some action figures. Record yourself saying 'I watch you when you masturbate' and install. Freak your friends out.

smash

Glue a photo of Georgia Salpa over the Jesus image.

bonerm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Stuck on the J.

Just toke harder then.

kiad

Draw cocks all over the picture. Extra points for drawing them in your own jizz

starlit

Either put a blanket or sheet over it or get a smaller one! or do the right thing and get an electrician to sort it out for you. Having a jesus thing like that especially if its a big yoke would give me the heebee geebies, creepy.

Banned Account

Create a small metal mechanism in the shape of his arms, held in place by a pin in the centre of his chest. Place two small metal plates where his hands are - hey presto, your own sacred heart weighing scales.

You can use them for wighing everything from important moral decisions to flour for unleavened bread. Cocaine may be blasphemous.

s_carnage

Print out this picture and insert

kelle

I know exactly the picture you're talking about, my granny had one and it used to freak me out.

Why are you renting that flat, was the rent the most reasonable you could find? It's not reasonable of the landlord to expect you to keep this picture on the wall when you're paying his mortgage. Could you blu-tak a large poster over it?

Ledger

+1 for Georgia Salpa

ejmaztec

Put some numbers on it and get some darts.

Tabnabs

Get an electrician in, but hang up this picture beside it

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/12750152399540.jpg

Biggins

demakinz wrote: »

Iv just moved house today and there is one of them creepy Jesus pictures with the red light in my kitchen. The landlord said i cant take it down because its wired in and some other bull so im stuck with him.

I don't want any religious stuff up in my new house especially the big creepy Jesus one.

Im sure the good people of AH's have some ideas on how to hide it or change it somehow?

Hang a towel over it if safe enough or build a box around it.
Will a large enough cardboard box fit around it if taped/stuck/bluetacked to the wall?

Rented Mule

Jesus in your kitchen ??

Ask him if he is hungry. If he says 'yes', offer him a bowl of soup, then tell him you're out of spoons.

Hours of entertainment.

Put a picture of "Buddy Jesus" (Google it) over the "Scary Jesus".

Problem solved.

Archeron

I'm a little disappointed.
I expected "jesus in my kitchen" to be along the same lines as the "puppy in my pocket" collection.

Cool_CM

Get an electrician in to install a light-switch so you can turn it on and off. Preferably one of these.
Send the bill to your landlord and invite him around to inspect the work.

Feeona

Just consulted Scripture, and it said don't be surprised if he re-appears again after three days if you do take him down

nullzero

Drape a tea towel over it, problem solved, in an out of sight out of mind kind of way.

fizzynicenice

turn off power
cut wires
take down
cap wires
power on
??????
Prophet

Sofaspud

Just stick a hilarious caption or speech bubble on it!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Those pictures rock!
Used to be one in my grannies house and there was nothing like rocking in hammered at three in the morning to sit down in the kitchen, look up and have it out with the big JC

fryup

as a teenager i had a picture of the sacred heart staring down from my bedroom wall, so as to stop me from ****

Poor Uncle Tom

Hang up the rest of the dinasour pictures around it, wet a bar of soap and let the games begin!

Arnold Layne

Split the rent with Jesus. If he is staying there he must pay

foxinsox

If he can't show you the water into wine thing at least twice a week I'd be saying GTFO

Nodin

demakinz wrote: »

Iv just moved house today and there is one of them creepy Jesus pictures with the red light in my kitchen. The landlord said i cant take it down because its wired in and some other bull so im stuck with him.

I don't want any religious stuff up in my new house especially the big creepy Jesus one.

Im sure the good people of AH's have some ideas on how to hide it or change it somehow?

Ye wouldn't move a picture of mohammed as quick, would ye? Or some protestant jesus, would ye? No, all you trendy types are the same...yez hate the church....

bluecatmorgana

This thread is frucking hilarious

ejmaztec

Nodin wrote: »

Ye wouldn't move a picture of mohammed as quick, would ye? Or some protestant jesus, would ye? No, all you trendy types are the same...yez hate the church....

I think you'd move it an awful lot quicker, to avoid a Fatwah.:eek: