Jokes thread

foxyboxer

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

melmoth77

A seal walks into a club

Irish Guitarist

What would you call Postman Pat if he lost his job?

Pat.

ejmaztec

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out yer pyjamas?

Yore Ma

foxyboxer

When signing up to facebook, I put ethnicity 'black' by accident. There is no 'poke' option, it says 'stab' instead.


Ah, Sickipedia...eases the pain.

Juwwi

Twilightning wrote: »

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

fooking hell thats not funny

kc87

what does a rapist use as lube.

tears.

Donkey Oaty

starbelgrade wrote: »

Who are the most decent people in the hospital?

The ultrasound people.

Hey Star, let's include credits here. That's David O'Doherty's.

Or is it?

we'llallhavetea_old

dead baby jokes are not funny, they're fcuking sick.

starbelgrade

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

drdeadlift

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

dead baby jokes are not funny, they're fcuking sick.

take it with a pinch of salt

starbelgrade

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

Hey Star, let's include credits here. That's David O'Doherty's.

Or is it?

How do you know that I'm not David O'Doherty?

Aha! See what I did there?!!!

we'llallhavetea_old

i dunno why this thread is even allowed anyway, dead baby jokes belong in that nein whatsit place tbf.

Twilightning

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

dead baby jokes are not funny, they're fcuking sick.

I'm sorry, I'll stick to the more acceptable gang rape related jokes!

we'llallhavetea_old

Twilightning wrote: »

I'm sorry, I'll stick to the more acceptable gang rape related jokes!

thank you



:pac:

Kasabian

Twilightning wrote: »

I'm sorry, I'll stick to the more acceptable gang rape related jokes!

As long as none gets pregnant as a result



:pac:

kc87

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

i dunno why this thread is even allowed anyway, dead baby jokes belong in that nein whatsit place tbf.

mabye ya shud havetea and chilax there misses. :rolleyes:

Funkfield

Q: How many alzheimers sufferers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: To get to the other side!

Q: Whats harder than cutting a puppy in half?
A: Me while I'm doing it!

Q: Whats brown and rhymes with snoop?
A: Dr. Dre!

pvt6zh395dqbrj

Why did Michael Scofield win the Tea Making competition?

He got T-Bag into some hot water.

What kind of chocolate does Michael Scofield like?

Prison Flake

What do you call a man who breaks out of Prison in Alaska?

Michael Snow-field

What does Michael Scofield use to make phone calls?

A Cell Phone

What golf course does Michael Scofield play on?

Linc's

What's Michael Scofield's faveourite old time sitcom?

Linc's

What does michael scofield eat for breakfast?

Sausage Linc's

What's Sara Fivecredi plus Sara Fivecredi?

Sara Ten-credi

Why is the warden of Fox River never wrong?

Papal Infalibility.

Twilightning

What do you call 6 black guys hanging from the same tree?

An Alabama windchime

KeithM89_old

Judson Drab Hazelnut wrote: »

Why did Michael Scofield win the Tea Making competition?

He got T-Bag into some hot water.

What kind of chocolate does Michael Scofield like?

Prison Flake

What do you call a man who breaks out of Prison in Alaska?

Michael Snow-field

What does Michael Scofield use to make phone calls?

A Cell Phone

What golf course does Michael Scofield play on?

Linc's

What's Michael Scofield's faveourite old time sitcom?

Linc's

What does michael scofield eat for breakfast?

Sausage Linc's

What's Sara Fivecredi plus Sara Fivecredi?

Sara Ten-credi

Why is the warden of Fox River never wrong?

Papal Infalibility.

Prison break fan???

pvt6zh395dqbrj

KeithM89 wrote: »

Prison break fan???

eh?

eimearcmh

Q. Whats the difference between Bono and God?
A. God doesn't think hes Bono.

Oranage2

How do you spell pasta............................... with a hexaploid species of wheat

OutlawPete

Oranage2 wrote: »

How do you spell pasta............................... with a hexaploid species of wheat

No, it's .. 'How is Pasta spelt?'

eimearcmh

Oranage2 wrote: »

How do you spell pasta............................... with a hexaploid species of wheat

With spelt pasta:D

strobe

What do German kids get for Christmas?
A G.I Jew and an easy bake oven.

No but I shouldn't joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died in it. He fell off the gaurd tower.

we'llallhavetea_old

kc87 wrote: »

mabye ya shud havetea and chilax there misses. :rolleyes:

derp :rolleyes:

melmoth77

They were selling 2 packs of venison for 100 Euroat the shop. But I thought it was just too dear.

raveni

Ok this is one I remember off the top of my head;

A ventriloquist was in a town in Tipperary, and saw a farmer sitting outside a pub with his dog, horse and sheep. The ventriloquist went over to the farmer, said hello, and decided to have a bit of fun. He said hello to the dog and asked the dog if he was treated well by his owner. The dog said “yes, he takes me for walks every day and feeds me the best food around.” The farmers eyes widened in amazement. The ventriloquist then moved on to the horse and asked the horse the same question. The horse replied “yes, he’s wonderful, he takes me for long rides by the lake every day”, at this point the farmer was speechless. The ventriloquist then moved on to the sheep, but before he could ask any question, the farmer seemed to jump out of his reverie and exclaimed; “the sheep’s a fcuking liar!”