Sheds and good auld skkanger sh***

KingMambo26

Right so, this weekend some distinguished members of the skang€r community decided to break into my shed for the 3rd time this year. Up to this point my shed had lived without a hassle for the last 4 years with only a 32mm locker-type padlock on a hasp.

Anyway, fortunately this time the bigger 50mm lock stopped them, not before they caused some amount of damage to the hasp and the door itself.

I have since installed 3 padlocks and reinforced the door but I don't feel right. I need more. I need a solution that make the f**ckers suffer, I want them to cry with embarrasement, pain or some powerful yet legal chemical sprayed on their shinny tracksuits.

People with common sense need not apply

ejmaztec

Thank you for shedding light on your problem.

WindSock

Bees

Kasabian

Booby trap the door , but don't forget you have done it. That would be silly

fontanalis

Get a wire matress and a car battery and go McGyver on their ass. Just somethign to cause them pain the next time they break in.

Nemanja91

Bore a 20ft hole at the entrance to the shed and leave one of them fall in, just make sure you don't fall in first.

Korvanica

WindSock wrote: »

Bees

Dogs With bees In their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you

Cool Story Bro.

kylith

Take notes from Home Alone! Electrify the handle, rig up a blow torch inside and leave upended nails all over the floor.

Granted, you won't be able to get into it yourself, but that's the price one pays for security.

admiralofthefleet

call the gardai

KingMambo26

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

call the gardai

a) That would make sense sooo... nahhh
b) I'd be 60 by the time they called in

Korvanica

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

call the gardai

Eh...

People with common sense need not apply

admiralofthefleet

ok so, blast them with piss

Korvanica

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

ok so, blast them with piss

thats your answer to everything...



but i agree

Essien

hire The Citizen

kfallon

Nice username OP btw!

Minstrel27

Shoot them. Someone told me you can do that now.

ejmaztec

Dig a 90 metre deep pit in front of the door, with stakes at the bottom, and cover the top with branches. When the pit's full of dead skangers, move the shed and dig another pit.

No-one will notice that the skangers are missing, except the local guards and lawyers, who won't have as much work to do.

chin_grin

Watch Home Alone, you might get a few pointers from that.

NothingMan

I think this link sums up a reasonable and proportionate response.

Gummy Panda

Remove good lock
Get shítty lock or remove lock altogether
Remove items from shed
Put guard dog in shed every night
Wait
Laugh as you hear the guard dog attacking skangers

neil_hosey

paintball gun.. when it happens call the garda.. lean out ur window, spray the fúckers and watch them run and get caught red/yello/green handed..


and it REALLY hurts

antodeco

Turn the shed the other way around, so the door is against the wall. They will be very confused when they arrive!

Chairman Meow

Smear nitro glycerine all over the hasp and lock. Then they whack it with a hammer/chisel combo and...

D.R cowboy

KingMambo26 wrote: »

I need a solution that make the f**ckers suffer, I want them to cry with pain

Call in the blackrock crew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiyakyVX9c4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayndgvqnBqU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhgP0qEjNn8


They would not f**k with these guys

klose

Light one bag of dog ****e, place on other side of door

kylith

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

ok so, blast them with piss

That could be good; fill a super soaker with stale urine. Or put a bucket of urine over the door so that when they open it it falls on them. Or fill the bucket with glue, so it gets stuck on their head and they can't see your face while you're giving them a good kicking.

D.McC

If you can find them maybe you could hire

The A Team

the drifter

http://www.front2enemy.com/images/fronttowardenemymine.jpg


That is all.....

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Hande hoche!

Punji pit and don't forget to smear your excrement on the ends.

rossie1977

move

pickarooney

This sounds like a question for twoshedsjackson

KingMambo26

I feel much better already, full of positive thoughts and a couple of good ideas especially around the use of pits and excrement. Good for the neighbourhood, good for the environment too and everyone's a winner!

jackiebaron

Set a bear-trap in front of the shed. Skanger steps in it and loses foot.

MarkR

Something crazy like a sensor activated light? Suppose you could also get one of those fake cctv cameras and put up a sign or something.

Either that or place C4 charges around the perimeter of the shade, stay up on your roof with your night vision goggles, and remotely detonate the charge when you see them.

sponsoredwalk

NothingMan wrote: »

I think this link sums up a reasonable and proportionate response.

Wikipedia wrote:

Ever since the theft of a chainsaw, Nally slept with his shotgun by his side.
He said he had become convinced he would be shot by robbers and had
spent five hours a day sitting in his shed with the gun [11].
He threw water on soil at his gate to record footprints, and noted the registration of strange cars.
He told the jury he was at the end of his tether.
Nally, who had taken to sitting in his shed cradling his gun for up to five hours at a time while his farm fell into disrepair,
was “agitated and fearful, even paranoid” about his safety, according to counsel.

:eek:

oppenheimer1

Hook up a powerful electric fence to the lock but make sure you can switch it off from inside the house. You could also set up the shed that it only opens from the outside and have the door spring loaded that it closes behind them, trapping them.

Bucklesman

Build a trebuchet in your back garden and camouflage it with foliage.

Place the shed in the sling.

Wait for those no-good scumbags to break into shed.

Set off the trebuchet and giggle maniacally.

r3nu4l

Place a banjo outside the shed door...beside a sign saying

'You got a purty mouth'

Then pounce.

Irishcrx

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

call the gardai

Yeah or even just stick up a note warning that you will call the gardai i'm sure the mere thought of the gards will terrify them to the very core and make them cower at the very sight of the warning on your shed door....

Back in the real world what about a guard dog?

Red Hand

Essien wrote: »

hire The Citizen

I work for no man...oh...uhm...carry on, nothing to see here.

Sonic assault is the only way to thwart them in my humble opinion. Hitch up a sound system in the shed of such a frequency that their bowels liquify. You may need some Bounty to mop up after them..

Biggins

Irishcrx wrote: »

...Back in the real world what about a guard dog?

...Or a mother in law!

I run a mile from mine! Seriously!!!

tony 2 tone

Arm your self with a supersoaker full of tabasco sauce and jays fluid, blind the ****ers! It's the only way they'll learn.

karlog

Irishcrx wrote: »

Back in the real world what about a guard dog?

The scumbags would probably end up stealing the dog.

Sea Sharp

Get yourself an adorable little puppy that will become a noisy guard-dog with time.

mcdoogle

Someone suggested a claymore mine earlier however if you're a tree hugger and object to the real deal look at the link below, will definatly scare the **** out of them opening the door (rigged on a tripwire).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nObb-KvRSzg&feature=related

Ask the dudes in the airsoft forum where to buy them.

Terry

Essien wrote: »

hire The Citizen

Pfft.
Kick them in the face.

rainbowdrop

Terry wrote: »

Pfft.
Kick them in the face.

Don't do it yourself, you are not a professional facekicker and might pull a muscle or something!!

Track down the original facekickerTM, get him to come and sit in your shed every night. When they open the shed door, he can kick them in the face.

Kasabian

Stay up ,shoot them and drag them into the sitting room. Call Gardai . Cut and dried protecting your property.

Case closed.


Off topic
Recommend you watch the movie Harry Brown for tips on how to deal with scum.

derfderf

Put a neighbourhood watch sticker in the window. That way they'll know when you catch them and rape the **** out of them the whole neighbourhood will watch, Maynard style.