Sheds and good auld skkanger sh***

rossie1977 · 09-08-2010 03:08PM

move

pickarooney · 09-08-2010 03:09PM

This sounds like a question for twoshedsjackson

KingMambo26 · 09-08-2010 03:13PM

I feel much better already, full of positive thoughts and a couple of good ideas especially around the use of pits and excrement. Good for the neighbourhood, good for the environment too and everyone's a winner!

jackiebaron · 09-08-2010 03:16PM

Set a bear-trap in front of the shed. Skanger steps in it and loses foot.

MarkR · 09-08-2010 03:17PM

Something crazy like a sensor activated light? Suppose you could also get one of those fake cctv cameras and put up a sign or something.

Either that or place C4 charges around the perimeter of the shade, stay up on your roof with your night vision goggles, and remotely detonate the charge when you see them.

sponsoredwalk · 09-08-2010 03:18PM

NothingMan wrote: »

I think this link sums up a reasonable and proportionate response.

Wikipedia wrote:

Ever since the theft of a chainsaw, Nally slept with his shotgun by his side.
He said he had become convinced he would be shot by robbers and had
spent five hours a day sitting in his shed with the gun [11].
He threw water on soil at his gate to record footprints, and noted the registration of strange cars.
He told the jury he was at the end of his tether.
Nally, who had taken to sitting in his shed cradling his gun for up to five hours at a time while his farm fell into disrepair,
was “agitated and fearful, even paranoid” about his safety, according to counsel.

:eek:

oppenheimer1 · 09-08-2010 03:18PM

Hook up a powerful electric fence to the lock but make sure you can switch it off from inside the house. You could also set up the shed that it only opens from the outside and have the door spring loaded that it closes behind them, trapping them.

Bucklesman · 09-08-2010 03:20PM

Build a trebuchet in your back garden and camouflage it with foliage.

Place the shed in the sling.

Wait for those no-good scumbags to break into shed.

Set off the trebuchet and giggle maniacally.

r3nu4l · 09-08-2010 03:37PM

Place a banjo outside the shed door...beside a sign saying

'You got a purty mouth'

Then pounce.

Irishcrx · 09-08-2010 04:41PM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

call the gardai

Yeah or even just stick up a note warning that you will call the gardai i'm sure the mere thought of the gards will terrify them to the very core and make them cower at the very sight of the warning on your shed door....

Back in the real world what about a guard dog?

Red Hand · 09-08-2010 04:48PM

Essien wrote: »

hire The Citizen

I work for no man...oh...uhm...carry on, nothing to see here.

Sonic assault is the only way to thwart them in my humble opinion. Hitch up a sound system in the shed of such a frequency that their bowels liquify. You may need some Bounty to mop up after them..

Biggins · 09-08-2010 04:50PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

...Back in the real world what about a guard dog?

...Or a mother in law!

I run a mile from mine! Seriously!!!

tony 2 tone · 09-08-2010 05:09PM

Arm your self with a supersoaker full of tabasco sauce and jays fluid, blind the ****ers! It's the only way they'll learn.

karlog · 09-08-2010 05:39PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

Back in the real world what about a guard dog?

The scumbags would probably end up stealing the dog.

Sea Sharp · 09-08-2010 06:01PM

Get yourself an adorable little puppy that will become a noisy guard-dog with time.

mcdoogle · 09-08-2010 07:09PM

Someone suggested a claymore mine earlier however if you're a tree hugger and object to the real deal look at the link below, will definatly scare the **** out of them opening the door (rigged on a tripwire).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nObb-KvRSzg&feature=related

Ask the dudes in the airsoft forum where to buy them.

Terry · 09-08-2010 07:16PM

Essien wrote: »

hire The Citizen

Pfft.
Kick them in the face.

rainbowdrop · 09-08-2010 07:29PM

Terry wrote: »

Pfft.
Kick them in the face.

Don't do it yourself, you are not a professional facekicker and might pull a muscle or something!!

Track down the original facekickerTM, get him to come and sit in your shed every night. When they open the shed door, he can kick them in the face.

Kasabian · 09-08-2010 07:37PM

Stay up ,shoot them and drag them into the sitting room. Call Gardai . Cut and dried protecting your property.

Case closed.

Off topic
Recommend you watch the movie Harry Brown for tips on how to deal with scum.

derfderf · 09-08-2010 07:45PM

Put a neighbourhood watch sticker in the window. That way they'll know when you catch them and rape the **** out of them the whole neighbourhood will watch, Maynard style.

questionmark? · 09-08-2010 07:55PM

Step 1 -Kidnap Dan Boyle

Step 2 - Place said kidnapee in shed

Step 3 - put a big sign pointing towards the shed saying no trespassing (this will be enough to entice said scanger due to the "don't press the red button syndrome")

Step 4 - Cover Dan Boyle in Linden village and tell him to start talking or his twitter account will be deleted

Step 5 - Dig a big hole with spikes covered in acid

Step 6 - Watch scangers jump to their death due to the sound of Dan Boyle talking

Step 7 - This is optional but is highly recommended - throw Dan Boyle into said pit to eradicate two twats with the one stone

*Or just capture the ****ers and eat with some crunchy nut cornflakes

mrDerek · 09-08-2010 07:55PM

go law abiding citizen and torture 1 of them in the shed and send the others videos of it.

rainbowdrop · 09-08-2010 07:58PM

questionmark? wrote: »

Step 1 -Kidnap Dan Boyle

Step 2 - Place said kidnapee in shed

Step 3 - put a big sign pointing towards the shed saying no trespassing (this will be enough to entice said scanger due to the "don't press the red button syndrome")

Step 4 - Cover Dan Boyle in Linden village and tell him to start talking or his twitter account will be deleted

Step 5 - Dig a big hole with spikes covered in acid

Step 6 - Watch scangers jump to their death due to the sound of Dan Boyle talking

Step 7 - This is optional but is highly recommended - throw Dan Boyle into said pit to eradicate two twats with the one stone

*Or just capture the ****ers and eat with some crunchy nut cornflakes

I'v got a question for you Questionmark?.......... Who's Dan Boyle?

Local-womanizer · 09-08-2010 08:05PM

I want to know whats in your shed? Seems people are going to alot of trouble to get in......

questionmark? · 09-08-2010 08:12PM

rainbowdrop wrote: »

I'v got a question for you Questionmark?.......... Who's Dan Boyle?

Where have you being for the last few years?

A frog counting muppet who is a big twat twitter user!

So as the ever generous questionmark that i am heres a few links

Caution advised extreme stupidity on view!

http://twitter.com/sendboyle

http://twitter.com/sendboyle/status/11714937933

http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/twitters-no-confidence-in-senator-dan-boyle/

rainbowdrop · 09-08-2010 08:22PM

I thought Dan Boyle was going to be Susan Boyle's retarded twin brother or something....... Never heard of him!!

Thanks for answering my question questionmark?

Fulton Crown · 09-08-2010 08:27PM

I have contacts in the Middle East and for a price I could get you some heavy automatic high velocity weapons.

Rig them up in your bedroom window and when the skangers visit spray the garden with bullets..

Just to frighten them like...

If that fails I have some tins of very effective camouflage paint..just make sure you remember where the shed is located before you paint it.

questionmark? · 09-08-2010 08:48PM

rainbowdrop wrote: »

I thought Dan Boyle was going to be Susan Boyle's retarded twin brother or something....... Never heard of him!!

Thanks for answering my question questionmark?

Lmfao at that:D

Chinasea · 09-08-2010 09:01PM

make it look like a skanger house

cobblelot the whole surrounding area and murder any sign of nature or natural growth
park a souped up micra car on the roof
attach a Mega satelite dish
strewn cans of Dutch gold
empty John Player Blue boxes thrown about
empty coke and lucozade bottles
Erect a mini clothes line and hang a track suit
net disgusting curtains
stone clad the shed

Wibbs · 09-08-2010 10:06PM

You forgot the stained mattress leaning up against an outside wall, a skip that never gets moved and car parts strewn about the garden.

Sheds and good auld skkanger sh***

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