Sheds and good auld skkanger sh***

KingMambo26 · 09-08-2010 02:15PM #1

Right so, this weekend some distinguished members of the skang€r community decided to break into my shed for the 3rd time this year. Up to this point my shed had lived without a hassle for the last 4 years with only a 32mm locker-type padlock on a hasp.

Anyway, fortunately this time the bigger 50mm lock stopped them, not before they caused some amount of damage to the hasp and the door itself.

I have since installed 3 padlocks and reinforced the door but I don't feel right. I need more. I need a solution that make the f**ckers suffer, I want them to cry with embarrasement, pain or some powerful yet legal chemical sprayed on their shinny tracksuits.

People with common sense need not apply

ejmaztec · 09-08-2010 02:17PM

Thank you for shedding light on your problem.

WindSock · 09-08-2010 02:18PM

Bees

Kasabian · 09-08-2010 02:18PM

Booby trap the door , but don't forget you have done it. That would be silly

fontanalis · 09-08-2010 02:18PM

Get a wire matress and a car battery and go McGyver on their ass. Just somethign to cause them pain the next time they break in.

Nemanja91 · 09-08-2010 02:18PM

Bore a 20ft hole at the entrance to the shed and leave one of them fall in, just make sure you don't fall in first.

Korvanica · 09-08-2010 02:19PM

WindSock wrote: »

Bees

Dogs With bees In their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you

09-08-2010 02:19PM

Cool Story Bro.

kylith · 09-08-2010 02:19PM

Take notes from Home Alone! Electrify the handle, rig up a blow torch inside and leave upended nails all over the floor.

Granted, you won't be able to get into it yourself, but that's the price one pays for security.

admiralofthefleet · 09-08-2010 02:20PM

call the gardai

KingMambo26 · 09-08-2010 02:22PM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

call the gardai

a) That would make sense sooo... nahhh
b) I'd be 60 by the time they called in

Korvanica · 09-08-2010 02:22PM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

call the gardai

Eh...

People with common sense need not apply

admiralofthefleet · 09-08-2010 02:23PM

ok so, blast them with piss

Korvanica · 09-08-2010 02:23PM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

ok so, blast them with piss

thats your answer to everything...

but i agree

Essien · 09-08-2010 02:24PM

hire The Citizen

kfallon · 09-08-2010 02:24PM

Nice username OP btw!

Minstrel27 · 09-08-2010 02:25PM

Shoot them. Someone told me you can do that now.

ejmaztec · 09-08-2010 02:25PM

Dig a 90 metre deep pit in front of the door, with stakes at the bottom, and cover the top with branches. When the pit's full of dead skangers, move the shed and dig another pit.

No-one will notice that the skangers are missing, except the local guards and lawyers, who won't have as much work to do.

chin_grin · 09-08-2010 02:25PM

Watch Home Alone, you might get a few pointers from that.

NothingMan · 09-08-2010 02:27PM

I think this link sums up a reasonable and proportionate response.

Gummy Panda · 09-08-2010 02:30PM

Remove good lock
Get shítty lock or remove lock altogether
Remove items from shed
Put guard dog in shed every night
Wait
Laugh as you hear the guard dog attacking skangers

neil_hosey · 09-08-2010 02:31PM

paintball gun.. when it happens call the garda.. lean out ur window, spray the fúckers and watch them run and get caught red/yello/green handed..

and it REALLY hurts

antodeco · 09-08-2010 02:31PM

Turn the shed the other way around, so the door is against the wall. They will be very confused when they arrive!

Chairman Meow · 09-08-2010 02:41PM

Smear nitro glycerine all over the hasp and lock. Then they whack it with a hammer/chisel combo and...

D.R cowboy · 09-08-2010 02:45PM

KingMambo26 wrote: »

I need a solution that make the f**ckers suffer, I want them to cry with pain

Call in the blackrock crew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiyakyVX9c4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayndgvqnBqU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhgP0qEjNn8

They would not f**k with these guys

klose · 09-08-2010 02:53PM

Light one bag of dog ****e, place on other side of door

kylith · 09-08-2010 02:56PM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

ok so, blast them with piss

That could be good; fill a super soaker with stale urine. Or put a bucket of urine over the door so that when they open it it falls on them. Or fill the bucket with glue, so it gets stuck on their head and they can't see your face while you're giving them a good kicking.