Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

How would you react?.....

  • 04-08-2010 4:27pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 282 ✭✭


    I was listening to Sean Moncrieffe on Newstalk earlier today and there was a report on prostitution in Ireland. Their case study was Portlaoise and they found that there was up to 20 brothels in operation in the town. The general message was that prostitution is rampant in every city, town and village of Ireland!

    So a lot of men out there must be using these services, it got me thinking, how would I feel if I found out that a guy I had just started seeing had used the services of a prostitute before? Or how would I feel if I found out a long term boyfriend had previously used a prostitute??

    To be honest the thought made my skin crawl! I think it would change my whole perception of the person. I would not at all be comfortable with it. Don't get me wrong, I have had previous bf's who have gone to strip clubs on stag do's and looked at lads mags, that stuff didn't bother me really but I just think it would totally freak me out if I found out my OH had slept with a prostitute!:eek:

    Thankfully I have never found myself in this situation (or not to my knowledge anyway!) but I'm just wondering how would you ladies feel/react if it happened to you?


«13

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    What happened in the past, stays in the past as far as I'm concerned. I've never understood why people get so hung up on their partners sexual history. As long as they are tested before I sleep with them and have a clean bill of sexual health then that's all I need to know. However if my partner visited a prostiture while in a relationship with me I would imagine I would have several rather unsavoury things to say about it.

    Prostitution is not necessarily something that I agree with but it has been around for a very very long time and isn't going to disappear anytime soon. I heard the piece on SM's show today and it really didn't surprise me in the least.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    wouldnt be for me. I do think it should be legalised though, in Amsterdam the girls have unions, protection, even health checks, the irony being that you'd probably more likely to get an STI from some randomer in a bar than your are from a prostitute. OP you say you wouldnt be bothered from bf's going to strip clubs? whats the difference? they're paying to be sexually stimulated arent they? Most strippers do offer services past what they advertise on the front door as well. they're selling their bodies, semantics aside its still a form of prostituion.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,378 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    My friend was in this exact situation before. Her boyfriend who she had been with for a year confessed that he had lost his virginity to a prostitute in Amsterdam. He had previously lied that it had been with a friend of his.

    My friend was in absolute bits over it, and broke up with him immediately and wouldn't speak to him for a couple of weeks. They eventually got back together though, and got past it.

    The advice I gave her at the time was not to judge him for something that had happened long before he had even known her. As I said at the time, I'd have been far more upset about him lying to her about it. And, on an intellectual level, that's how I feel. What's in the past shouldn't have an impact on how you feel about a person. And really, how is it so much worse than having a one-night-stand?

    But realistically ... if it happened to me, I'm not sure how I'd feel. If the person was upfront about it from the start, then I really don't think I'd be upset or angry. I can't help but think that ... well, that I'd sort of respect the person a little bit less, even though I know I shouldn't feel that way. It just seems like they went for the "lazy" option, you know?

    Very hard to know until you're in that situation.
    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.

    Believe it or not, some women actually enjoy sex and don't need to be "paid" for it in any way.

    If you have found that your women always needed to be compensated afterwards, whether through money or gifts, then maybe it's your own technique that you should be examining. ;)


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.

    That's not really what this thread is about.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,691 ✭✭✭Lia_lia


    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.

    Eh?

    I wouldn't really care. Apart from the sexual health side of things.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    OP, how would you feel if you BF judged you on your past sexual exploits?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 282 ✭✭neveah


    OP you say you wouldnt be bothered from bf's going to strip clubs? whats the difference? they're paying to be sexually stimulated arent they? Most strippers do offer services past what they advertise on the front door as well. they're selling their bodies, semantics aside its still a form of prostituion.

    I know what you mean but I dunno I just do see a difference I suppose. I wouldn't like a bf going to a strip club on a regular basis, that would worry me a bit! I suppose it's the whole paying for sex, it just seems seedy to me.

    I guess my OP was just my gut reaction, obviously if it really happened I don't know how I would react because it would depend how much I loved the person, were they honest about it etc.

    I was just interested to hear how others would feel, given the obvious massive market for this we must all know someone who uses prostitutes! One of the guys interviewed on the radio was very open about using them and said a lot if his friends did. The reporter said it was mainly men in their 30/40's. Although they didn't say it I would imagine a lot of men in that age group are married and using prostitutes on the side, it made me feel for their wives who probably don't have a clue. I would be so upset if I found out that my husband was using a prostitute! But I suppose that's a whole other thread....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,540 ✭✭✭Giselle


    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.

    So are all women prostitues from whom sex can be bought?

    And when you have sex with a girlfriend do you consider it a commodity that you've bought and paid for?

    If so, I pity you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.

    Some one has issues.... CLEARLY!!!!!!!

    I have no issues with what my boyfriend did in the past or does in the future, once he is free and single!! I am happy with him once he is CLEAN AND FREE FROM STI'S while with me!!!!!!!!!!! I really don't see anything wrong with it at all at all!!


  • Advertisement
  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    One of my closest friends was in a relationship until quite recently with a Greek guy, and she knew that he had used prostitutes several times before they were together. Apparently prostitution is legal in Greece, and in a situation which is probably quite similar to the Netherlands the brothels are regulated. People are much more open about using prostitutes in Greece because it is so common, I doubt you'd find many Irish guys being so open about it.

    My initial reaction when she told me this was surprise tinged with a bit of disgust - he was a really nice guy, treated her really well, nothing like the image I had in my head of a typical client being a dirty kerbcrawling old man. She didn't have a problem with it at all though, she saw it as being more honest than getting with someone under the pretence that it meant more than just sex, and then not calling them afterwards.

    I still think I would be a bit uncomfortable if I knew a boyfriend had slept with a prostitute. To me, sex always means something, and I don't think I would enjoy sex if there was no emotional connection. I have never had a one-night-stand and never particularly wanted to, so I'd find the idea of paying someone for sex a bit alien. I think if I knew a boyfriend had paid for sex, it would taint the way that I looked at them, even though my rational side would be telling me that it was just a transaction for a service


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    I definately would want to know If my boyfriend had slept with a prostitute as I think It would speak volumes about his attitude to women. I just couldn't be with someone who thinks its okay to pay a women for sex.

    I couldn't care less If he f*cked 1000 women tbh but I think exchanging money for sex is seedy, and considering how rampant trafficking is I don't know how anyone could be compliant in using the prositution industry as it is at the moment.

    I do know guys who use prostitutes and I wouldn't want a long tem relationship with any of them.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    panda100 wrote: »
    I definately would want to know If my boyfriend had slept with a prostitute as I think It would speak volumes about his attitude to women.

    What attitude would that be?


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    What attitude would that be?

    That a woman's body is just an object you can have sex with. Like a blowup doll, but warmer and more pleasant.

    I think that's what gives me uneasiness about the idea of a boyfriend being with a prostitute. There is absolutely no connection when you have sex with a prostitute, she is just providing a hole for them to rut into. Some people might be fine with that, but I don't think that I would be


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Fishie wrote: »
    That a woman's body is just an object you can have sex with. Like a blowup doll, but warmer and more pleasant.

    I think that's what gives me uneasiness about the idea of a boyfriend being with a prostitute. There is absolutely no connection when you have sex with a prostitute, she is just providing a hole for them to rut into. Some people might be fine with that, but I don't think that I would be

    You don't need to pay for sex to have an attitude like that and it's clearly incorrect to insinuate that all men who do pay for sex have this kind of attitude.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    What attitude would that be?

    Well quite a dismal,mysoginistic view not only of women but also a pretty pathetic view towards sex.
    I could never have sex with a prostitute because fom me sex is about two peoples enjoyment. Its not a one way buisness transaction where one persons pleasure supersedes the other.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,788 ✭✭✭ztoical


    I don't get why people get so hung up on this. It wouldn't bother me if a partner said they'd gone to a prostitute in the past, I might be bothered if they said they'd slept with 1000 women though. A prostitute is far more likely to demand the use of condoms then 1000 random women picked up good knows were. I'd only want to know a partners past sexual history in relation to the risk to my own health.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    panda100 wrote: »
    Well quite a dismal,mysoginistic view not only of women but also a pretty pathetic view towards sex.
    I could never have sex with a prostitute because fom me sex is about two peoples enjoyment. Its not a one way buisness transaction where one persons pleasure supersedes the other.

    So every man who pays for sex is a misogynist? An interesting thought...

    How do you know there are no prostitutes out there who enjoy it? I'm sure there are many who don't, but I highly doubt there are none who do.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 282 ✭✭neveah


    I was thinking about that today, do the prostitutes even enjoy it? From the stories you hear it would seem that a large portion of these women are forced into their situation through sex trafficking. I wonder do guys here in Ireland even consider that when they avail of their services? Of course there are prostitutes who want to do it and operate individually. Prostitution in Ireland is not legal so how do you know that these women are having regular sexual health checks?? Are u supposed to trust them if they tell you they are? What if they are drug users. You just don't know who you are dealing with. And yes I know people will say 'sure that could be said for any randomer on the street' but I dunno I don't think so, prostitution is still a murky world and I would just rather that the guy I was with was not involved in it.

    I suppose when I think of prostitution I do kinda think of the leechy dirty old man scenario, it's a stereotype I know.

    Just getting back to the sexual health aspect - the guy interviewed on the radio said that they wore two condoms for extra protection when having sex with a prostitute. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I didn't think you were supposed to do that? Isn't it advised not to wear one condom over another??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,788 ✭✭✭ztoical


    neveah wrote: »
    I was thinking about that today, do the prostitutes even enjoy it? From the stories you hear it would seem that a large portion of these women are forced into their situation through sex trafficking. I wonder do guys here in Ireland even consider that when they avail of their services? Of course there are prostitutes who want to do it and operate individually. Prostitution in Ireland is not legal so how do you know that these women are having regular sexual health checks?? Are u supposed to trust them if they tell you they are? What if they are drug users. You just don't know who you are dealing with. And yes I know people will say 'sure that could be said for any randomer on the street' but I dunno I don't think so, prostitution is still a murky world and I would just rather that the guy I was with was not involved in it.

    i think there needs to be a distinction between legal prostitution and illegal prostitution. Granted given that it is illegal in this country it is mainly the later people think of when they think prostitution but people do travel to countries were it is legal and many people on boards live outside of Ireland in countries were it is legal. I would like to see prostitution made legal as it removes alot [sadly not all but a great deal] of the crime associated with it.
    neveah wrote: »
    Just getting back to the sexual health aspect - the guy interviewed on the radio said that they wore two condoms for extra protection when having sex with a prostitute. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I didn't think you were supposed to do that? Isn't it advised not to wear one condom over another??

    There is a small risk with latex condoms of them rubbing together and causing friction which could tear one or both of them.


  • Advertisement
  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 11,362 ✭✭✭✭Scarinae


    You don't need to pay for sex to have an attitude like that and it's clearly incorrect to insinuate that all men who do pay for sex have this kind of attitude.

    I know that you don't have to pay for sex to have that sort of attitude by any means. But I'm not sure that I agree with your second point though. Men who pay for sex are paying to use the woman's body for their sexual pleasure, without any sort of connection or engagement with the woman herself. That's why it would bother me, it is pure objectification


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Fishie wrote: »
    I know that you don't have to pay for sex to have that sort of attitude by any means. But I'm not sure that I agree with your second point though. Men who pay for sex are paying to use the woman's body for their sexual pleasure, without any sort of connection or engagement with the woman herself. That's why it would bother me, it is pure objectification
    The exact same can be said for having a one night stand.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    The exact same can be said for having a one night stand.

    Nah there completly different imo. Nobodys paying anyone for sex in a one night stand.
    I'd have one night stands no problem but having someone pay me to sleep with me takes the enjoyment out of sex. It becomes a cold,clinical buisness transaction.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,788 ✭✭✭ztoical


    panda100 wrote: »
    It becomes a cold,clinical buisness transaction.

    so? thats what sex is to some people even when they're not paying for it. Not everyone holds sex in the same regard. Same way you have people with different sex drives you have people who have different needs.


    Everyone is also focusing on the pros being female, there are male ones out there both straight and gay.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    panda100 wrote: »
    Nah there completly different imo. Nobodys paying anyone for sex in a one night stand.
    I'd have one night stands no problem but having someone pay me to sleep with me takes the enjoyment out of sex. It becomes a cold,clinical buisness transaction.
    For you maybe, but you can't speak for everyone.

    The guys you have a one night stand with are using you and your body for their sexual pleasure just like any other casual encounter.

    Turning the tables a little, how would you feel if a partner of yours was disgusted with the fact that you'd have one night stands ''no problem''?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    ztoical wrote: »
    Granted given that it is illegal in this country...

    It's not actually, it is not illegal to charge for sex in Ireland but pretty much all associated practices, ie, pimping, brothels, visibly soliciting, etc are.

    I'm not sure how I'd react. Part of me thinks it's no different to plying some bird with drinks all night and taking her home then paying for her taxi home after - the rest of me says Eeeeeew!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 123 ✭✭elleburp


    It wouldn't bother me at all. I don't see anything wrong with it to be honest.

    I'd be a lot more concerned about giving a boyfriend the impression that he couldn't discuss these things with me. And I'd be a lot more worried if I found out my husband/partner was visiting a prostitute. I could be wrong, but I think the 'regular' money in prostitution comes from married men rather than single men who are free to have sex with whomever they want.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Fishie wrote: »
    I know that you don't have to pay for sex to have that sort of attitude by any means. But I'm not sure that I agree with your second point though. Men who pay for sex are paying to use the woman's body for their sexual pleasure, without any sort of connection or engagement with the woman herself. That's why it would bother me, it is pure objectification

    The exact same can be said for having a one night stand.


    Yes that is very true, to me a one night stand it pure objectification, I am with the guy for one thing and one thing only, as cold as it sound its how I feel...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    For you maybe, but you can't speak for everyone.


    Ya Im not speaking for everyone,these are just my opinions and personally I would feel quite disgusted with my boyfriends ethics If he's used a prostitute,especially in Ireland which is rife with trafficking and migrant women.
    Turning the tables a little, how would you feel if a partner of yours was disgusted with the fact that you'd have one night stands ''no problem''?

    I couldn't see the relationship lasting as we obviously have different outlooks towards sex.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,468 ✭✭✭Ectoplasm


    panda100 wrote: »
    It becomes a cold,clinical buisness transaction.

    This would be my problem. Not necessarily the cold and clinical, as I do think that the same could be said about an ONS, but the business transaction aspect. It does make the prostitute (man or woman) a commodity and this is quite a worrying thing for me.

    If I discovered my bf had been to a prostitute once, it wouldn't be a big issue. If I found out that this was or had been a regular occurence, then it would bother me.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    If I found out my boyfriend had slept with a prostitute in the past, I honestly don't think I'd be too bothered. I tend not to judge people for things that have happened in the past, because I'm no angel, I've messed up. Not that I've paid for sex, I just mean I've done things I'm not exactly proud of and I'd hope not to have an opinion of me solely based on those events.

    As long as he was careful, had an STI test etc., I'd be okay with it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Wouldn't bother me. Only concern would be the health side of things, and I'd imagine this would be of far less concern than any other type of sexual encounter, seeing as a prostitute would most likely demand condoms be used, as pointed out by Ztoical.

    Ethically, don't see a problem with sex being commoditised. That doesn't devalue it as a loving, intimate act.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    It wouldn't bother me if it was in the past. In fact I suspect my boyfriend has used a prostitute once a looong time ago (a verbal slip years ago with a bunch of his mates :rolleyes:). I was a little surprised at the time, but to be honest I actually don't care. I've had meaningless sex and just cause I got it gratuit it doesn't make it that different in my eyes. A person can change a lot in 20 years and I only care about the way he treats me now.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 163 ✭✭kiwi123


    i think that although there are times when everyone just wants to have sex, paying for it seems so sleazy and underhanded. I just think that there's something nasty and desperate about using a prostitute. Maybe it's a misinformed view i have that prostitutes are forced into selling sex agaisnt their will becasue they don't have enough money to live on etc but i think it almost like abusing the vulnerable in society. I'm probably naive though because i genuinely dont think i've ever noticed a prostitute or been in contact with one before.
    i definitely wouldn't feel comfortable with the thought of a boyfriend having used one. I think it makes him seem like a bit of a desperate creep and kinda unclean i guess. But then again maybe i just havent had that much exposure to them!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 123 ✭✭elleburp


    Worst case scenario; he found himself desperate once and found himself a prostitute. It doesn't make him a desperate person, he just had a desperate period in his life. How long it went on for might matter....

    Best case scenario; he found himself in Amsterdam and tried it out for curiosity reasons. If that's the case, I'd much rather he'd gotten that curiosity out of his system before he met me.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,649 ✭✭✭Catari Jaguar


    I was just in RLD last week. I thought it was really sad. Just felt so sorry for the girls. Imagine if that was your job. And it's not like these girls were Dutch, loads obviously came from some other countries and have ended up hooking. All these manky oul fellas coming out and these stag dos of locked young fellas that think it's all great fun leering at them. It's taking advantage of a woman that might be in a desperate situation. It's not right. Men's attitudes definitely need to change. Too many see women as shells or husks to dump their load in and then just feck off on their merry way, and then another guy comes along to go next. Sadly, there will always be prostitution as long as there is a want for it.

    I do think visiting Amsterdam as "a laugh" is totally different to seeing escorts. I read in Cosmo these interviews that prostitutes had given to their regulars. These men bought them gifts and confided in them and even loved them (most of these men were married btw and didn't see it as cheating). It really blurred the lines between sex & emotion. Seemed highly pathetic and tbh I don't know which situation is worse.

    Totally agree with the other posters that it's not the same as a one night stand at all, which involves two people mutually atractted to each other & getting pleasure.

    But yea, if you have to pay sex then there's something a miss with you. Take offence all you want Magic Marker.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭SugarHigh


    I was just in RLD last week. I thought it was really sad. Just felt so sorry for the girls. Imagine if that was your job. And it's not like these girls were Dutch, loads obviously came from some other countries and have ended up hooking. All these manky oul fellas coming out and these stag dos of locked young fellas that think it's all great fun leering at them. It's taking advantage of a woman that might be in a desperate situation. It's not right. Men's attitudes definitely need to change. Too many see women as shells or husks to dump their load in and then just feck off on their merry way, and then another guy comes along to go next. Sadly, there will always be prostitution as long as there is a want for it.

    I do think visiting Amsterdam as "a laugh" is totally different to seeing escorts. I read in Cosmo these interviews that prostitutes had given to their regulars. These men bought them gifts and confided in them and even loved them (most of these men were married btw and didn't see it as cheating). It really blurred the lines between sex & emotion. Seemed highly pathetic and tbh I don't know which situation is worse.

    Totally agree with the other posters that it's not the same as a one night stand at all, which involves two people mutually atractted to each other & getting pleasure.

    But yea, if you have to pay sex then there's something a miss with you. Take offence all you want Magic Marker.
    Men's attitudes definitely need to change. Too many see women as shells or husks to dump their load in and then just feck off on their merry way, and then another guy comes along to go next.
    I don't that's how they view women but maybe some of them do view prostitutes like that and tbh I don't see the problem.

    If a woman decides sex is a commodity she is willing to sell and a man decides it is a commodity he is willing to buy then I don't see how anyone outside of the exchange is affected by it. It's as much a female attitude as it is a male one.
    It's taking advantage of a woman that might be in a desperate situation. I
    While some women might do it because they are in a desperate situation I don't see how that means prostitution is taking advantage of women. The two don't have to go hand in hand and I'm sure there are a lot of prostitutes who just see it as a job that pays well. The only situation where it's taking advantage of a woman is if she's been put into prostitution against her will. Being desperate and resorting to prostitution isn't being put into prostitution against your will, it's simply doing what you consider to be your best option. Taking that option away from them means they have to do their 2nd best option which is obviously going to be worse than prostitution or else it wouldn't have been their second option.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker



    Totally agree with the other posters that it's not the same as a one night stand at all, which involves two people mutually atractted to each other & getting pleasure.

    Physical attraction doesn't always play a part in a one night stand, and I dare say pleasure isn't guaranteed. But if a prostitute only slept with people she was attracted to it would be okay with you then?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.

    That's right because we're all whores.

    Great post for the ladies lounge.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    panda100 wrote: »
    Nah there completly different imo. Nobodys paying anyone for sex in a one night stand.
    I'd have one night stands no problem but having someone pay me to sleep with me takes the enjoyment out of sex. It becomes a cold,clinical buisness transaction.

    What they are paying for is negating any expectations sex can create,that they wont tell their wives, and services they cant get elsewhere.

    My reaction would depend on a lot of things.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    No man gets free sex. There's always a price whether it's cash to a prostitute or flowers and perfume for your girlfriend. Its just a question of price and type of currency.
    "The difference between sex for free and sex for money is the latter normally costs less" - Brendan Behan.

    On topic though, I knew one chap who regularly visited prostitutes. He was married with two kids, but the marriage had essentially become sexless and he'd given up trying to convince her to go to couples councilling, etc to resolve it. As he put it, he couldn't afford to leave her, he'd almost certainly have to move out of the house, continue paying the mortgage, pay maintenance for both her and his kids and then he'd have to support himself. As such, he was convinced that he'd end up moving back in with his parents. On top of this, he'd be separated from his kids, with contact realistically at the pleasure of his (ex)wife. So, I can understand it in his situation, given the lack of alternatives open to him.

    In a documentary I saw once on the subject, I remember one single chap who was a 'regular' being interviewed. The long and the short of it was that he seemed to have serious self esteem issues and he used prostitutes as much for human contact as sex, which was a both a bit pathetic and quite sad.

    Can't understand why most single men would use them would do so though, especially in a country like Ireland, where it really is not that difficult to get laid for (almost) free.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    What does 'almost free' mean?'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    SugarHigh wrote: »
    While some women might do it because they are in a desperate situation I don't see how that means prostitution is taking advantage of women. The two don't have to go hand in hand and I'm sure there are a lot of prostitutes who just see it as a job that pays well.

    I think a quick look at Escort Ireland shows that most women working as prostitutes in Ireland are in a desperate situation. There not even 6 Irish women on there. The majority of women are from Eastern Europe, South America,Africa and China. That just rings massive alarm bells to me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    What does 'almost free' mean?'
    Well, you're more than likely to buy a drink or two for her first and if you take a taxi back to your/her place, you're also more than likely going to be paying for that.

    Asking a girl for her share of the taxi fare is a real mood killer, I'd imagine.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Well, you're more than likely to buy a drink or two for her first and if you take a taxi back to your/her place, you're also more than likely going to be paying for that.

    Asking a girl for her share of the taxi fare is a real mood killer, I'd imagine.

    So you're only buying the drink because your buying the sex you assume follows? And you think women are reimbursing the man with sex for the drink or two?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    So you're only buying the drink because your buying the sex you assume follows? And you think women are reimbursing the man with sex for the drink or two?
    Never said that. However unless a woman offers to go dutch or buy rounds, the man would need to ask her for a drink in return or to pay for her share of the taxi fare. If he does that (especially the latter), then he's likely going to be humping his fist that night.

    So you're not buying her a drink (without one in return) because you want to get laid. You're just not looking for one in return because if you did you won't get laid (or at least it will not help your chances). Not the same thing.

    Some women do offer to go dutch or to pay their share of the taxi fare. Some don't. As to the logic behind the latter, I will leave others to speculate, also because it's off-topic.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Never said that. However unless a woman offers to go dutch or buy rounds, the man would need to ask her for a drink in return or to pay for her share of the taxi fare. If he does that (especially the latter), then he's likely going to be humping his fist that night.

    So you're not buying her a drink (without one in return) because you want to get laid. You're just not looking for one in return because if you did you won't get laid (or at least it will not help your chances). Not the same thing.

    Some women do offer to go dutch or to pay their share of the taxi fare. Some don't. As to the logic behind the latter, I will leave others to speculate, also because it's off-topic.

    This is convaluted and confusing.

    Your previous statement would claim theres not much difference between a prostitute and an Irish woman.

    How said to think shes sleeping with you for the alcohol and not because she likes you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    This is convaluted and confusing.
    If you say so.
    Your previous statement would claim theres not much difference between a prostitute and an Irish woman.
    I didn't say that and in fairness, even if I did, I'd be wrong to generalize.
    How said to think shes sleeping with you for the alcohol and not because she likes you.
    Again, I never said this. But consider this; even if a woman is not sleeping with a man because of the alcohol, what effect would his refusing to buy her a drink have? Or asking for her share of the taxi fare back to his/her place?

    As such, it becomes a cost. Not a terribly big one, but that's why I put it in parenthesis.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Actually, even if both go dutch on everything, there's still a cost to a one-night stand, if that's all you're after. Entrance fee into a club, drink, etc. Nothing is free at the end of the day.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Actually, even if both go dutch on everything, there's still a cost to a one-night stand, if that's all you're after. Entrance fee into a club, drink, etc. Nothing is free at the end of the day.

    You can always use craigslist.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement