best scumbag story

Doom

Tell us the madest, most fu*ked up stories....but don't name anyone

I once was outside a taxi rank in Limerick and could hear two scumbags chatting while totally off their faces, one says to the other 'Seanie, i'm gonna hit the next guy take walks out' and the other lad goes' Yaa riiight mossy' and sure enough he tried and missed, the guy he missed looked at the scumbag and dropped him with one dig, the scumbags mate started laughing at his mate on the ground calling him a tool, and told the other guy fair play:rolleyes:

galwayrush

The shower running the country ftw.

alwaysadub

Doom wrote: »

Tell us the madest, most fu*ked up stories....but don't name anyone

I once was outside a taxi rank in Limerick and could hear two scumbags chatting while totally off their faces, one says to the other 'Seanie, i'm gonna hit the next guy take walks out' and the other lad goes' Yaa riiight mossy' and sure enough he tried and missed, the guy he missed looked at the scumbag and dropped him with one dig, the scumbags mate started laughing at his mate on the ground calling him a tool, and told the other guy fair play:rolleyes:

Kinda breaking your own rules there aren't ya!!

Hank_Jones

This one probably.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=63553213&postcount=1

Ricardo G

Doom wrote: »

Tell us the madest, most fu*ked up stories....but don't name anyone

I once was outside a taxi rank in Limerick and could hear two scumbags chatting while totally off their faces, one says to the other 'Seanie, i'm gonna hit the next guy take walks out' and the other lad goes' Yaa riiight mossy' and sure enough he tried and missed, the guy he missed looked at the scumbag and dropped him with one dig, the scumbags mate started laughing at his mate on the ground calling him a tool, and told the other guy fair play:rolleyes:

You cant have a scumbag called Mossie
It just does'nt sound right !!
Sorry you'll have to re-think that story again!!

Lando Griffin

Was driving through a town one day and a load of scumbags were on the road shouting,spitting and cursing at cars.
There was a continetial tour bus in front of me from Holland or Germany cant remember but one guy started banging on the side shouting Fu%%ing brits etc.
All his friends were egging him on, he was a disgrace.
I let let the bus go on a good bit, and rolled down my window, got a load of flim up and shouted to him
"Hey come here"
He strolled over fists clinched "wha the F&&ck do you want "he shouted, and I landed a nice big greener on his face.
I put the boot down and got the hell out of there and took a side road a few meters later.
I looked in the mirror and the lad was nearly crying, and all his scum frinds were rolling around laughing.

Doom

alwaysadub wrote: »

Kinda breaking your own rules there aren't ya!!

WTF... get a life.........you know I mean family names, don't wanna stir up ****e in some place, and I know for sure that there more than one mossy and seanie in limerick

OhThePenguin

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Was driving through a town one day and a load of scumbags were on the road shouting,spitting and cursing at cars.
There was a continetial tour bus in front of me from Holland or Germany cant remember but one guy started banging on the side shouting Fu%%ing brits etc.
All his friends were egging him on, he was a disgrace.
I let let the bus go on a good bit, and rolled down my window, got a load of flim up and shouted to him
"Hey come here"
He strolled over fists clinched "wha the F&&ck do you want "he shouted, and I landed a nice big greener on his face.
I put the boot down and got the hell out of there and took a side road a few meters later.
I looked in the mirror and the lad was nearly crying, and all his scum frinds were rolling around laughing.

That's fairly scummy all right!

Doom

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Was driving through a town one day and a load of scumbags were on the road shouting,spitting and cursing at cars.
There was a continetial tour bus in front of me from Holland or Germany cant remember but one guy started banging on the side shouting Fu%%ing brits etc.
All his friends were egging him on, he was a disgrace.
I let let the bus go on a good bit, and rolled down my window, got a load of flim up and shouted to him
"Hey come here"
He strolled over fists clinched "wha the F&&ck do you want "he shouted, and I landed a nice big greener on his face.
I put the boot down and got the hell out of there and took a side road a few meters later.
I looked in the mirror and the lad was nearly crying, and all his scum frinds were rolling around laughing.

Brilliant LOL

4zn76tysfajdxp

Doom wrote: »

WTF... get a life.........you know I mean family names, don't wanna stir up ****e in some place, and I know for sure that there more than one mossy and seanie in limerick

Didn't know you were in Limerick too...

sh1tstirrer

Lando Griffin wrote: »

I put the boot down and got the hell out of there and took a side road a few meters later.

I once had a car like that, a pensioner on a bike overtook me once.

ElaElaElano

Standing at the bus stop once, there's this lad wearing a shell suit and a straw hat, jogging on the spot like he was getting ready for a race...so the bus comes along anyway and he jumps on...and in a thick northside/traveller mix accent goes 'heeeere...how much to dun laoighre...', bus driver points out that this bus doesn't go to dun laoighre....'aaahhh naw don't be bad..i'm gettin' a suit cleaned for me weddin'...shure, lookit, shure, these fools won't even noootice, shure take a quick turn there and drop me off in dun laoighre, good man'.

Bus driver stresses that the bus isn't going to, or anywhere near dun laoighre. Young lad gets out his phone and threatens to ring the police...bus driver bursts out laughing. With no ideas left, the lad takes a few steps back, off the bus, then sprints back onto it and does like a Jackie Chan drop kick onto the window, that's so feeble it barely makes a sound. Lad slips off the step, driver closes door...lad screams and chases at bus for about 10 seconds, a bit like that scene in the van, before giving up his Dun Laoighre dream.

....and all the scumbags died in a nuclear holocaust.

The End.

alwaysadub

Doom wrote: »

WTF... get a life.........you know I mean family names, don't wanna stir up ****e in some place, and I know for sure that there more than one mossy and seanie in limerick

I have a life thanks very much.
Also i amn't a mind reader,so why dont ya say what you mean next time..

pajero12

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Was driving through a town one day and a load of scumbags were on the road shouting,spitting and cursing at cars.
There was a continetial tour bus in front of me from Holland or Germany cant remember but one guy started banging on the side shouting Fu%%ing brits etc.
All his friends were egging him on, he was a disgrace.
I let let the bus go on a good bit, and rolled down my window, got a load of flim up and shouted to him
"Hey come here"
He strolled over fists clinched "wha the F&&ck do you want "he shouted, and I landed a nice big greener on his face.
I put the boot down and got the hell out of there and took a side road a few meters later.
I looked in the mirror and the lad was nearly crying, and all his scum frinds were rolling around laughing.

What's a greener?

Hank_Jones

pajero12 wrote: »

What's a greener?

Phlegm.

easyeason3

'If he rode your hole you can't be pregnant'

I wish I was making this up but heard it in Limerick walking past boots.

xzanti

My cousins husband is a nurse in the Matter A&E.. Scumbag was wheeled in one day having OD'd on heroin..

After working tirelessly to save his sorry ass he finally came round, realised where he was and proceeded to pull all the tubes out of himself, flips out cause they "wrecked his buzz" and fecks off out of the A&E and into the sunset..

True story.

Run_to_da_hills

This goes back to the days of pre Dart oarnge trains, ( Metrovics to enthusissts ) An idiot that lived not too far away, a known scumbag that robbed pushbikes and annoyed everyone had the bright idea of throwing a bucket of white oil paint from a bridge on top of a passing train.

The fan on top of the train blew the paint right back up into his face, the guy got absolutly covered in paint.

Word got around, pity cams weren't as popular back then.

Rick Deckard

careful overheardindublin.com don't sue for copyright infringement:D

shampon

Watched a scumbag rob a phone of a German student, get of at a well known Northside Scumhole Train Station. Howth Junction By The Way...(it is a scum hole train station before every ****ing Donnaghmede head jumps on and starts screaming, you live in a scumhole area...get over it..) Anyway Driver comes out, ****s him off the train, Garda come search him he has a pink phone in his pocket, he denies taking the thing , he protests his innocence, with the usual "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDA, I didnt do anything, im just haaaaaaaavin a few caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans" ****E, we call it and the tone is "Barbie Girl" STUNG RAPIHHHHHHHHH" He got nicked. Gobshiiiiiiiiiiite.

Doom

Heard another one from a guy in Ennis who happened to pull in a real native Limerick girl one night, he was getting into the foreplay with this lovely girl, she tells him' I don't want any of that funny stuff, just lob it into me, Boss':eek:

Dyr

Doom wrote: »

Heard another one from a guy in Ennis who happened to pull in a real native Limerick girl one night, he was getting into the foreplay with this lovely girl, she tells him' I don't want any of that funny stuff, just lob it into me, Boss':eek:

jesus wept.

plein de force

not the best but most recent

two guys on the bus a few weeks ago speaking german, this spaced out junkie scumbag gets on after a few minutes and starts on the two guys speaking german "go back to your own fcuking country, bleedin fordeners ruinin this country" and lunges a punch at one of them and misses due to his spaced out state, one of the guys lands the mother of all digs and retorts in the strongest dublin accent " i am in my own country" cue the scumbag holding his face stumbling off the bus

Sauve

Conversation between two 'lovely girls' I overheard while waiting for a lift a couple of weeks back:

Knacker A : So is John the father then?

Knacker B: Think so, can't really remember, but he wants a DNA test once it's born.

Knacker A : ****e, what if he's not?

Knacker B: Then I havent a ****in clue who it is.

Knacker A: Ah well, at least John is a sound fella, Im tryin to guess which one of the lads my wee one looks like. She might be a mixture of a few of them, could that happen?

Knacker B: Dunno, suppose it could, hey then you could get maintenance of all of them, get her tested quick! That young one might be a proper wee goldmine!!

Had to walk away sniggering at this point, feel so sorry for the babies

El Weirdo

Doom wrote: »

Heard another one from a guy in Ennis who happened to pull in a real native Limerick girl one night, he was getting into the foreplay with this lovely girl, she tells him' I don't want any of that funny stuff, just lob it into me, Boss':eek:

Never heard that one before...

Superbus

Once upon a time there was a boy named Anto. Anto was a scumbag who lived in a far away place called the Inner City. One day when Anto was walking down the road another scumbag called Deco saw him, and went to say Hello. Anto, however, did not like Deco, and he turned around and started to run away from him. Deco started running too, because he really wanted to say Hello. Anto was slow, because he put things in his body that weren't meant to be there, and Deco was very fast, so it was only a matter of time before Deco had caught up with him.

"Bang! Bang!", said the gun. Anto fell down, and started bleeding. Deco ran away, with a scared face. The police arrived, and an ambulance, and all their sirens were very loud. An old woman in her nightdress opened her front door to complain, but when she saw Anto on the ground she closed it again. The ambulance brought Anto to hospital, but he never woke up.

The End.

General Zod

sue delahunty wrote: »

Conversation between two 'lovely girls' I overheard while waiting for a lift a couple of weeks back:

Knacker A : So is John the father then?

Knacker B: Think so, can't really remember, but he wants a DNA test once it's born.

Knacker A : ****e, what if he's not?

Knacker B: Then I havent a ****in clue who it is.

Knacker A: Ah well, at least John is a sound fella, Im tryin to guess which one of the lads my wee one looks like. She might be a mixture of a few of them, could that happen?

Knacker B: Dunno, suppose it could, hey then you could get maintenance of all of them, get her tested quick! That young one might be a proper wee goldmine!!

Had to walk away sniggering at this point, feel so sorry for the babies

This never happened. Stop making After Hours a house of lies.

lilblackdress

I once came across a guy who was just out of prison having spent 14 years in and out of there (34 years old) he had ust stolen a tourists bag with her passport and all in it and had stolen IV drugs from somewhere not even knowing what they were meant for (They were steroids). He then went on to tell me how he needed to see a dietitian as he wanted suppliments as he could sell them on the streets for a 'score bag'. He said that this would save him for using his sisters kid in her buggy to hide drugs when dealing :eek:

Abrasax

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Was driving through a town one day and a load of scumbags were on the road shouting,spitting and cursing at cars.
There was a continetial tour bus in front of me from Holland or Germany cant remember but one guy started banging on the side shouting Fu%%ing brits etc.
All his friends were egging him on, he was a disgrace.
I let let the bus go on a good bit, and rolled down my window, got a load of flim up and shouted to him
"Hey come here"
He strolled over fists clinched "wha the F&&ck do you want "he shouted, and I landed a nice big greener on his face.
I put the boot down and got the hell out of there and took a side road a few meters later.
I looked in the mirror and the lad was nearly crying, and all his scum frinds were rolling around laughing.

You spat in the guys face?

Who's the scumbag in this story?

stateofflux

Junkie Couple on eden quay last month...girl goes 'jimmy, we don't go out anymore, i want to go out for mad ones''... jimmy replies 'what are ya talkin about, we were out yesterday'....girls replies 'you're a prick jimmy, you promised me the world!'...

DonJose

sue delahunty wrote: »

Conversation between two 'lovely girls' I overheard while waiting for a lift a couple of weeks back:

Knacker A : So is John the father then?

Knacker B: Think so, can't really remember, but he wants a DNA test once it's born.

Knacker A : ****e, what if he's not?

Knacker B: Then I havent a ****in clue who it is.

Knacker A: Ah well, at least John is a sound fella, Im tryin to guess which one of the lads my wee one looks like. She might be a mixture of a few of them, could that happen?

Knacker B: Dunno, suppose it could, hey then you could get maintenance of all of them, get her tested quick! That young one might be a proper wee goldmine!!

Had to walk away sniggering at this point, feel so sorry for the babies

Stop making up stories, we all know that knackers only ride their cousins and they all have 2 first names

antodeco

Superbus wrote: »

Once upon a time there was a boy named Anto. Anto was a scumbag who lived in a far away place called the Inner City. One day when Anto was walking down the road another scumbag called Deco saw him, and went to say Hello. Anto, however, did not like Deco, and he turned around and started to run away from him. Deco started running too, because he really wanted to say Hello. Anto was slow, because he put things in his body that weren't meant to be there, and Deco was very fast, so it was only a matter of time before Deco had caught up with him.

"Bang! Bang!", said the gun. Anto fell down, and started bleeding. Deco ran away, with a scared face. The police arrived, and an ambulance, and all their sirens were very loud. An old woman in her nightdress opened her front door to complain, but when she saw Anto on the ground she closed it again. The ambulance brought Anto to hospital, but he never woke up.

The End.

Leave me out of it!

Craptacular

Walking down Abbey Street near the Abbey theatre. A van parked up on the footpath outside the Flowing Tide is in the process of being clamped. Two junkie scumbags standing at the Luas stop drinking out of their tinnies watching the clampers when one says "Jayzis, ya can't even do a bleedin' day's work".

Same spot, different day. Young junkie hanging out with the other walking dead notices the puppy he has on a string licking something off the footpath. He lifts the pup up, slaps his hand on the wet patch on the footpath, sniffs his hand and then licks it to see if he can figure out what the dog was drinking.

sean corcoran

this time last year 2 nackers tried to rob a group of tourists in front of the gpo where there are 4 gardai standing 24 hours a day, i know i laughed

Rick Deckard

El Weirdo wrote: »

Never heard that one before...

well, not this week anyway.. last i heard she was from sligo.

El Weirdo

peatcass wrote: »

well, not this week anyway.. last i heard she was from sligo.

Yep. Me too. Heard it about 15 years ago the first time. She must've relocated during the Tiger years.

orourkeda

easyeason3 wrote: »

'If he rode your hole you can't be pregnant'

I wish I was making this up but heard it in Limerick walking past boots.

Up the gicker no babies. Tried and tested.

Rick Deckard

up the bum, no harm done,
up the gicker, nothing quicker..

AckwelFoley

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oZTW30fAQY

Rick Deckard

back on topic,

once worked with an absolute scumbag.. but didn't have a scumbag accent/look..
we got pally, and after a few drinks he told me this was his first job out of prison for stabbing the guy who raped his sister.

no one said the stories had to be funny.

AckwelFoley

peatcass wrote: »

back on topic,

once worked with an absolute scumbag.. but didn't have a scumbag accent/look..
we got pally, and after a few drinks he told me this was his first job out of prison for stabbing the guy who raped his sister.

no one said the stories had to be funny.

Hes not a scumbag.

Fair play to him

Id do the same

Rick Deckard

snyper wrote: »

Hes not a scumbag.

Fair play to him

Id do the same

do the same myself, it wasn't the stabbing that made him a knacker..
just a weird story that seemed to fit in here..

Paddysnapper

About a year ago two women in a shop in Limerick having a big row. One says to the other "Will you stop pushing me. I'm 12 months pregnant" The shop assistant and myself just fell about laughing:D

AckwelFoley

Paddysnapper wrote: »

About a year ago two women in a shop in Limerick having a big row. One says to the other "Will you stop pushing me. I'm 12 months pregnant" The shop assistant and myself just fell about laughing:D

Did she look like an elephant.

Maybe she rode one

Paddysnapper

snyper wrote: »

Did she look like an elephant.

Maybe she rode one

:eek: Wouldn't suprise me

Rick Deckard

snyper wrote: »

Hes not a scumbag.

Fair play to him

Id do the same

one stabbing story does not a scumbag make..

lying to the council, saying he didn't live/support his family, they were living in social welfare housing, he wanted to move out of the area as he had fallen out with all the neighbours. The wife asked, and the council said no, she'd have to wait, so he burnt it down, and blamed his son on knocking a chippan off the cooker. the investigators said that wasn't the cause of the fire, so he changed his story to someone had broken in and set the place on fire. the guards said there was no sign of a forced entry..

he got one of the girls we worked with pregnant while his wife and mother of his 6 children was in hospital having a mastectomy.

General Zod

Abrasax wrote: »

You spat in the guys face?

Who's the scumbag in this story?


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=66970508&postcount=18

Catch a grip.

And then drove off so he wouldn't have to deal with the consequences.

AckwelFoley

I know of a woman, dont know her personally, but she fell riding in the shower... few weeks later apparently it was in work that she fell and hurt herself.

Shes putting in a claim against her employer :mad:

Leeg17

Does anyone have the link to a vid posted on Boards, I think in Cool Videos, about two scumbags fighting on the street with prams and stuff

El Weirdo

Leeg17 wrote: »

Does anyone have the link to a vid posted on Boards, I think in Cool Videos, about two scumbags fighting on the street with prams and stuff

Erm... It's already been posted in this thread...