Annoying Visitors doing Annoying Things.

starbelgrade

A friend of the missus was over in the house earlier. We were all sitting down, having a cuppa & a chat. I took out my fags & the ashtray & was about to light up, when he said, "You're not going to smoke in here, are you? It's just that I have a very sensitive throat".

I had a few choices;

1. Tell him to f*ck off & light up anyway
2. Ask him to man up or leave
3. Stab him
4. Not smoke
5. Leave the room & smoke in a different room, out of "politeness"

I went for option 5, but I tell ya, the cigarette wasn't the only thing that was fuming.

So, have you ever had any annoying visitors doing annoying things?

easyeason3

Yeah, when they visit & expect me to open the door to let them in.

brummytom

Their presence in the house is enough to infuriate me.


Mom hates visitors who won't even offer to help.

Saibh

When they don't seem to cope on that it was time for them to go home - hours ago.

Most annoying thing visitors do :

Visit.

alwaysadub

People who 'pop over for a cup of tea' and are still there yapping away 5 hours later, while you're sitting there trying not to yawn and fall asleep.
Take the fcuking hint and fcuk off to your own gaff :mad:

easyeason3

brummytom wrote: »

Their presence in the house is enough to infuriate me.


Mom hates visitors who won't even offer to help.

He he he

I always get a giggle when I hear people say Mom/ Mum/ Mammy.

callaway92

brummytom wrote: »

Their presence in the house is enough to infuriate me.


Mom hates visitors who won't even offer to help.

starbelgrade

Saibh wrote: »

When they don't seem to cope on that it was time for them to go home - hours ago.

That is really f*cking annoying. Especially when you've nothing left to say, you've dropped a million yawn hints, noted the lateness of the hour several times & even hoovered up the dust that has gathered around them since they arrived!

callaway92

easyeason3 wrote: »

He he he

I always get a giggle when I hear people say Mom/ Mum/ Mammy.

ah you fecker! I wanted that one

brummytom

callaway92 wrote: »

It's a Brummy word the Americans stole, don't worry

KeithM89_old

Turn the channel over when im watching something or ask me to put the tv off :mad:

mikom

starbelgrade wrote: »

"You're not going to smoke in here, are you? It's just that I have a very sensitive throat".

"Not like your ould lady"...... is what ya should have replied.

starbelgrade

brummytom wrote: »

It's a Brummy word the Americans stole, don't worry

Do you have a yummy brummy mummy?

the_dark_side

we had couple of visitors that were staying with us some years ago, we went out on the town, I was the last one home, and by then one of the guys had jumped into bed with the girlfriend, she was going up the walls.. he was pretty drunk but it has to be said, hadn't tried anything on if you know what I mean.
I didn't react that much, as I knew there was drink on the job, which pissed the girlfriend off... so what are you supposed to do, pretend to be annoyed? In the morning he was well embarresed and all apologies.

callaway92

brummytom wrote: »

It's a Brummy word the Americans stole, don't worry

k

omahaid

The missus tells me that a friend of hers and the friends friend called over. The missus is a hospitable lass so she offered them a cuppa. She has to pop out of the room for a min and when she came back yer man (the friends friend) was rooting through all our drawers :mad:

Sam Kade

starbelgrade wrote: »

A friend of the missus was over in the house earlier. We were all sitting down, having a cuppa & a chat. I took out my fags & the ashtray & was about to light up, when he said, "You're not going to smoke in here, are you? It's just that I have a very sensitive throat".

I had a few choices;

1. Tell him to f*ck off & light up anyway
2. Ask him to man up or leave
3. Stab him
4. Not smoke
5. Leave the room & smoke in a different room, out of "politeness"

I went for option 5, but I tell ya, the cigarette wasn't the only thing that was fuming.

So, have you ever had any annoying visitors doing annoying things?

I think you should have went with option 1. Some nerve a visitor telling you what not to do in your house.

christ on a bike!

I f*cking hate when relatives visit, they always get drunk and bring a big load of shíte with them that the rest of us have to listen to, they take over the kitchen, they take over the sitting room, if you find refuge elsewhere they come find you.

And they always show up when you're knackered and just want to chill out

ElaElaElano

Using your jacks, and then píssing all over the seat. And I wish I was joking.

starbelgrade

Keithm89 wrote: »

Turn the channel over when im watching something or ask me to put the tv off :mad:

That just reminds me.. the same guy who was here today was over a few weeks back. I was watching a World Cup match on TV & he asked if I minded turning down the TV as it was "a bit too loud".

I'm making a f*cking sh*t list & sticking him on the top.

Mint Sauce

rarnes1 wrote: »

Most annoying thing visitors do :

Visit.

even worse when they dont leave

callaway92

omahaid wrote: »

The missus tells me that a friend of hers and the friends friend called over. The missus is a hospitable lass so she offered them a cuppa. She has to pop out of the room for a min and when she came back yer man (the friends friend) was rooting through all our drawers :mad:

probably just looking for the Spoons or Cups for his tea no?

pow wow

brummytom wrote: »

It's a Brummy word the Americans stole, don't worry

I can vouch for it :P

OP, where's the Atari Jaguar option?!

starbelgrade

the_dark_side wrote: »

we had couple of visitors that were staying with us some years ago, we went out on the town, I was the last one home, and by then one of the guys had jumped into bed with the girlfriend, she was going up the walls.. he was pretty drunk but it has to be said, hadn't tried anything on if you know what I mean.
I didn't react that much, as I knew there was drink on the job, which pissed the girlfriend off... so what are you supposed to do, pretend to be annoyed? In the morning he was well embarresed and all apologies.

You should have f*cked him up the ass & said, "How do you like that, you bad boy?"

That would've learned him.

christ on a bike!

starbelgrade wrote: »

That just reminds me.. the same guy who was here today was over a few weeks back. I was watching a World Cup match on TV & he asked if I minded turning down the TV as it was "a bit too loud".

I'm making a f*cking sh*t list & sticking him on the top.

He sounds like a cheeky bastard. Ever see the General??
Next time he comes round just pretend you're popping out to the kitchen then go outside and dose his car in petrol and light it. Casually pop back inside, make a casual comment about your curtains that gets cut off mid-way by "Oh my goodness, is that your car alight!?"

brummytom

We had some family from Tallaght stop with us for a few nights last year.

Lovely people but Jesus, they drank us out of house and home!

pow wow

Tallaght + Birmingham...who'd have thought :cool:

starbelgrade

brummytom wrote: »

We had some family from Tallaght stop with us for a few nights last year.

Lovely people but Jesus, they drank us out of house and home!

Being from Tallaght, you're lucky it was only drink that they took.

caseyann

Try this one for size,a girl i used to know came to visit with her son.The son got tired.So been decent allowed her use my room to let him have a nap.She went with him.And through the ceiling i could hear her,no joke rooting through my drawers:mad:
Another day one actually picked up my phone when i got a text to read it:mad:
I have more i'll be back:D

easyeason3

brummytom wrote: »

We had some family from Tallaght stop with us for a few nights last year.

Lovely people but Jesus, they drank us out of house and home!

How did ye break the language barrier?

omahaid

callaway92 wrote: »

probably just looking for the Spoons or Cups for his tea no?

No, spoons and everything were out already, he was just nosy.

anewme

omahaid wrote: »

The missus tells me that a friend of hers and the friends friend called over. The missus is a hospitable lass so she offered them a cuppa. She has to pop out of the room for a min and when she came back yer man (the friends friend) was rooting through all our drawers :mad:

Knicker sniffers!

skywalker_208

Sam Kade wrote: »

I think you should have went with option 1. Some nerve a visitor telling you what not to do in your house.

+2
this was in your own house.
I would have told them to fu*k right off!

DetectivFoxtrot

I have this friend (well my husbands friend) who has no idea about the unwritten rules of visiting. The other nights he arrived, unannounced as usual. We're dug into a programme on TV and fairly irritated by the uninvited presence I have to say. Anyway, in he arrives, so we pause the programme on the Sky+ thingy. We exchange some awkward small talk, alls the while I'm wondering as to the purpose of the visit, giving the OH daggers. The he gets a phone call. The ignorant fecker proceeds to have a loud 20 minute conversation with the caller, in our sitting room, at 8.30pm on a Tuesday night, much of it including "you're breaking up.... I can hear you now,.... you're breaking up again..... the signal here is shoite".
Was it unreasonable for me to expect him to say 'I'll call you back later' to the caller, or 'I'm gonna step out into your hall, need to take this call'? oh nooooo. We had to listen the entire phonecall. And it was the same banal small talk we had just exchanged, I was hearing the shoite twice over!!
Oh yeh and another thing, sort of opposite to the OPs story, the fecker lights up a cigarette and asks for an ashtray! My husband smokes, but we have a strict back garden policy - couldn't believe it!

Neck like a jockey's proverbials I tell ya

To me the rules go:

- No unanounced vistits
- No mid week visits
- No texts to say 'I'm droppin up for a cuppa' (cos that's not an invite)
- Stay for 20 mins max if a quick 'hello, how are ya' means that much to you
-If you interrupt someones dinner because of your unanounced vist feck off quick smart, dinner is NOT nice re-heated. Also, don't put the visitee in the awkward postition of resopnding to you're "Oh... you're eating, sorry" with "Ah no don't worry about it, come in", cos they really don't want you to come in.

Elliemental

My father's Welsh aunts used to come and visit us. We'd all sit talking together, but suddenly the aunts would lapse into Welsh and exclude us (they knew we couldn't catch a word of it). It wasn't a major issue, but my ma always suspected that they were talking about us.
Other than that, I guess I have been lucky with visitors.

CrazyRabbit

I never invite people over. And when people suggest coming over to my place, I just tell them that my 16 cats and 14 dogs are very aggressive but that are still welcome to visit.

jd007

brummytom wrote: »

Mom hates visitors who won't even offer to help.

callaway92 wrote: »

I'm not sure here now but I'll give a guess that he means his mother.

starbelgrade

My parents in law stay with us every couple of months, which I don't mind - they're sound & we usually end up in the pub getting hammered with them. However, one time, when they left the next day, they - well he - left a lovely surprise for us in the guest bathroom.... a huge f*cker of a log.

Now, I don't mean to be disgusting or talk about sh*t for no good reason (there's enough of that already in AH), but this thing was like a big brown anaconda, curled up in the bottom of the bowl. It wouldn't flush. We kept trying - every hour or so, for over two days & it just stayed there, unmoved, like it was laughing at us.

Eventually, I had to give in & break it up with a stick. I was wretching & gagging all the way through, it was that bad.

And there was me, the morning they left, wondering why they had left with such haste, not even stopping to have breakfast with us like they usually do before they head off.

And what do you say? "Oh, cheers for leaving that big turd in my bog - hope I can return the favour next time I eat half a cow"!

christ on a bike!

starbelgrade wrote: »

My parents in law stay with us every couple of months, which I don't mind - they're sound & we usually end up in the pub getting hammered with them. However, one time, when they left the next day, they - well he - left a lovely surprise for us in the guest bathroom.... a huge f*cker of a log.

Now, I don't mean to be disgusting or talk about sh*t for no good reason (there's enough of that already in AH), but this thing was like a big brown anaconda, curled up in the bottom of the bowl. It wouldn't flush. We kept trying - every hour or so, for over two days & it just stayed there, unmoved, like it was laughing at us.

Eventually, I had to give in & break it up with a stick. I was wretching & gagging all the way through, it was that bad.

And there was me, the morning they left, wondering why they had left with such haste, not even stopping to have breakfast with us like they usually do before they head off.

And what do you say? "Oh, cheers for leaving that big turd in my bog - hope I can return the favour next time I eat half a cow"!

Next time you go to their house you be the bigger man and don't leave a log in their toilet.





You should however leave one in their cistern.

Elliemental

starbelgrade wrote: »

My parents in law stay with us every couple of months, which I don't mind - they're sound & we usually end up in the pub getting hammered with them. However, one time, when they left the next day, they - well he - left a lovely surprise for us in the guest bathroom.... a huge f*cker of a log.

Now, I don't mean to be disgusting or talk about sh*t for no good reason (there's enough of that already in AH), but this thing was like a big brown anaconda, curled up in the bottom of the bowl. It wouldn't flush. We kept trying - every hour or so, for over two days & it just stayed there, unmoved, like it was laughing at us.

Eventually, I had to give in & break it up with a stick. I was wretching & gagging all the way through, it was that bad.

And there was me, the morning they left, wondering why they had left with such haste, not even stopping to have breakfast with us like they usually do before they head off.

And what do you say? "Oh, cheers for leaving that big turd in my bog - hope I can return the favour next time I eat half a cow"!

A revolting story, lovingly rendered. Thanks!

Mc Love

Had a party in my house before. Girlfriend got sick so she couldnt come to town with us. One of my mates decided he wasnt going to town and my girlfriend expected he would go home, but he didnt, and she didnt want to be rude so she let him stay there, and he hardly talked at all while helping himself to the beer (the cheap barsteward). The girlfriend had fallen asleep and when she woke up he was still there, and then he just decided to go home.

F**king weirdo or what?! I think he more than outstayed his welcome that time.

The Aussie

starbelgrade wrote: »

3. Stab him

Is option 3 a real option in all parts of the country or is it a city thing, you know sort of like a hand shake.

I would have put the cigs away and gone for the big guns, a massive Cuban cigar and blown smoke in his face, then burp and fart till he got the hint, i watch to much Family Guy though...

arybvtcw0eolkf

I hate visitors taking a dumb, use the loo for a pe by all means but get rid of the crap before you come over ffs.

Or shoving my dogs away!.. This one really gets my tits wobbling, if you don't like dogs tough sh*t. But don't shove them away when all they want to do is be friendly with you.

ROCKMAN

starbelgrade wrote: »

A friend of the missus was over in the house earlier. We were all sitting down, having a cuppa & a chat. I took out my fags & the ashtray & was about to light up, when he said, "You're not going to smoke in here, are you? It's just that I have a very sensitive throat".

I had a few choices;

1. Tell him to f*ck off & light up anyway
2. Ask him to man up or leave
3. Stab him
4. Not smoke
5. Leave the room & smoke in a different room, out of "politeness"

I went for option 5, but I tell ya, the cigarette wasn't the only thing that was fuming.


So, have you ever had any annoying visitors doing annoying things?

Happen me once with a friend of the wife , took option 1 ,which lead to 2 great outcomes

1 Her face was priceless , smug bitch
2 She now only visits when I'm out , result

Ps totally agree with Makikomi don't push my dog away or be committing about my kids , its their fcuking house.

ch750536

starbelgrade wrote: »

My parents in law stay with us every couple of months, which I don't mind - they're sound & we usually end up in the pub getting hammered with them. However, one time, when they left the next day, they - well he - left a lovely surprise for us in the guest bathroom.... a huge f*cker of a log.

Sure it wasn't she?

Lynnsie

Samira Ambitious Matchmaking wrote: »

Or shoving my dogs away!.. This one really gets my tits wobbling, if you don't like dogs tough sh*t. But don't shove them away when all they want to do is be friendly with you.

Really hate this, my cousin came to visit and kicked our dog when it sat at her feet under the table. When my sister gave out to her she said animals shouldn't be in the house anyway! If you don't like it, don't visit!

Also hate the turning over the tv thing, I've a friend who constantly does this and if I leave the room at all some crap like The Hills will suddenly appear on the tv.

Aglomerado

Years ago at my parents' house we used to suffer visits from a nosey neighbour. We always suspected she would look in the bathroom cabinet every time she went to the loo. So I decided to test this hypothesis.

I put the contents of a bag of marbles into the bathroom cabinet the next time she visited.

When she inevitably went to the loo, a few minutes later there was a terrible clatter as the marbles fell out of the cabinet and pinged all over the sink and floor.

When she came back out we all just looked at her while smirking and said "Was everything OK for you in there, Margaret?"

She never did it again,and she heated our sitting room with her nice warm red face.

:D

Mr Benevolent

easyeason3 wrote: »

He he he

I always get a giggle when I hear people say Mom/ Mum/ Mammy.

What do you say? 'Mother dearest?'

orourkeda

omahaid wrote: »

The missus tells me that a friend of hers and the friends friend called over. The missus is a hospitable lass so she offered them a cuppa. She has to pop out of the room for a min and when she came back yer man (the friends friend) was rooting through all our drawers :mad:

Rooting through drawers. Presumably you mean drawers the furniture item rather than the underwear. He deserves to be commended if he start pulling someones box after just sitting down in a strangers house.

rednik

When they say to me, " sorry I'm not very good at ironing". Well fu*k off outta here so.