Truth about Porn

SIMPLYTHE

There is a perception that someone who would be involved in this is somehow soulless or emotionally cold, but sex doesn't have to be linked to emotions of love and intimacy. For many (if not most) porn actors, it's a fun activity which they enjoy and see it as a bonus to be paid for it - exactly as if they were getting paid to play football or whatever.[/QUOTE]

Are you kidding me??? How do you know that “many (if not most) porn actors” see it that way??? Cause they say they enjoy it? Cause you want to believe they enjoy it???

I find it a sad reflection of the times that there is very little mention of the porn “stars” themselves in this forum. I am not so arrogant as to deny that there probably are porn stars that enjoy it, but let’s not be so arrogant as to assume that porn “stars” come bounding into porn flicks straight from Seventh Heaven. There is such a thing as being desensitived to something. How many of these “stars” were sexualised at a young age? How many were raped/are addicted/have low self esteem?

I used to watch porn sometimes when I was younger and I’ll admit I did get a bit of a thrill from it, but about a year and a half ago, after a comment from one of my friends in relation to same, I really did have to question the morality of it and moreover the morality of me supporting this industry.

And for those of you who think that this is prudish or outdated – ask yourself one question – How would you feel if your sister started doing it??? If you feel that you would be upset by her becoming a porn “star”, then somewhere in you you know that watching porn is not the right thing to do.

The Corinthian

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

How many of these “stars” were sexualised at a young age? How many were raped/are addicted/have low self esteem?

Good questions. Do you know how many?

gbee

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

Are you kidding me??? How do you know that “many (if not most) porn actors” see it that way??? ?

There are many levels, sure, many say they love it, more say they are nymphomaniacs and need it, others say it's to put their daughter though college so they don't have to do this, more again say it's to feed their drugs habit.

And there are female porn producers, who started their own business to inject a few touches, better photography, nicer looking women, better make-up, health check-ups, fees and percentages of sales and so on.

Pornography is a vast sphere ~ so, we'd need to put a few definitions and limits for the 'general' discussion.

What are we referring to for Porn in this thread ~ male and female in all poses and acts? Bestiality? Gay? Bondage? Child? and the more degraded ones right through to the snuff kind.

Dr. Zeus

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

And for those of you who think that this is prudish or outdated – ask yourself one question – How would you feel if your sister started doing it??? If you feel that you would be upset by her becoming a porn “star”, then somewhere in you you know that watching porn is not the right thing to do.

I think a lot of men get over this by splitting women into the virgin/whore categories. They will sleep with certain girls but wouldn't marry them or being them home to meet mammy.

I think the same goes for someone's sister doing porn/ being a prostitute. As long as its not my sister its okay mentality.

With regard to damaged people being in porn which I imagine is not true for all but for a lot I would say it is the case.. Nobody wants to think about that too much (porn stars included). it's interesting that once people have left the porn industry only then they start to talk about negative impacts on their lives.

It ruins the moment, kills the fantasy, takes the varnish off and may kills profit. Porn is a multi billion dollar industry and the industry is going to do all it can to keep it that way.

Too much a reality check for many. Hence why so many people get so defensive when the side effects of porn are noted. It's like the whole drinking culture mentality. If you're not out getting wasted sure you're no craic - don't know what you're missing etc.

SIMPLYTHE

Of course I don't know how many, but I have more than a sneaking suspicion that it would amount to a fair number. I know I was sexualised at far too young an age and it took me a long time to come close to discovering what was "normal" sexual behaviour. I have friends who would say the same. Two in particular. Exposure (esp at a young age) = huge risk for desensitivisation. The thing is - it happens - far more often than ppl may think...

SIMPLYTHE

Dr. Zeus wrote: »

I think a lot of men get over this by splitting women into the virgin/whore categories. They will sleep with certain girls but wouldn't marry them or being them home to meet mammy.

I think the same goes for someone's sister doing porn/ being a prostitute. As long as its not my sister its okay mentality.

With regard to damaged people being in porn which I imagine is not true for all but for a lot I would say it is the case.. Nobody wants to think about that too much (porn stars included). it's interesting that once people have left the porn industry only then they start to talk about negative impacts on their lives.


Too much a reality check for many. Hence why so many people get so defensive when the side effects of porn are noted. It's like the whole drinking culture mentality. If you're not out getting wasted sure you're no craic - don't know what you're missing etc.

Completely agree with everything in this post. It's horrible!!!

SIMPLYTHE

The Corinthian wrote: »

Good questions. Do you know how many?

Of course I don't know how many, but I have more than a sneaking suspicion that it would amount to a fair number. I know I was sexualised at far too young an age and it took me a long time to come close to discovering what was "normal" sexual behaviour. I have friends who would say the same. Two in particular. Exposure (esp at a young age) = huge risk for desensitivisation. The thing is - it happens - far more often than ppl may think...

Virgil°

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

Of course I don't know how many, but I have more than a sneaking suspicion that it would amount to a fair number.

That is to say you've no idea how many. Simply put.

I know I was sexualised at far too young an age and it took me a long time to come close to discovering what was "normal" sexual behaviour. I have friends who would say the same. Two in particular. Exposure (esp at a young age) = huge risk for desensitivisation. The thing is - it happens - far more often than ppl may think...

There is no such thing as "normal" sexual behaviour. One trait i've noticed in this thread is that those who vehemently oppose or make baseless attacks against porn seem incapable of understanding that their idea of "normal" is not everyones idea of "normal".

I think a lot of men get over this by splitting women into the virgin/whore categories. They will sleep with certain girls but wouldn't marry them or being them home to meet mammy.

I think the same goes for someone's sister doing porn/ being a prostitute. As long as its not my sister its okay mentality.

With regard to damaged people being in porn which I imagine is not true for all but for a lot I would say it is the case.. Nobody wants to think about that too much (porn stars included). it's interesting that once people have left the porn industry only then they start to talk about negative impacts on their lives.

It ruins the moment, kills the fantasy, takes the varnish off and may kills profit. Porn is a multi billion dollar industry and the industry is going to do all it can to keep it that way.

What a load of baseless opinionated nonsense.

The Corinthian

Dr. Zeus wrote: »

I think a lot of men get over this by splitting women into the virgin/whore categories.

TBH, I'd get creeped out by the idea of my sister having sex, regardless of it being in or outside of porn.

Too much a reality check for many. Hence why so many people get so defensive when the side effects of porn are noted. It's like the whole drinking culture mentality. If you're not out getting wasted sure you're no craic - don't know what you're missing etc.

TBH, you were pretty defensive not so long ago in this thread, so it might be a bit presumptuous to make such pronouncements of others, with all due respect.

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

Of course I don't know how many, but I have more than a sneaking suspicion that it would amount to a fair number.

As Virgil correctly pointed out, you don't actually know - you just have a "sneaking suspicion".

I know I was sexualised at far too young an age and it took me a long time to come close to discovering what was "normal" sexual behaviour.

What is "normal" sexual behavior out of curiosity? Or is this something else you have a "sneaking suspicion" about?

The thing is - it happens - far more often than ppl may think...

Or not. I think we've established that you don't actually know - call that a "sneaking suspicion" of mine

SIMPLYTHE

Virgil° wrote: »

That is to say you've no idea how many. Simply put.

Believe me I have a deep understanding of sexual abuse esp towards women.

There is no such thing as "normal" sexual behaviour. One trait i've noticed in this thread is that those who vehemently oppose or make baseless attacks against porn seem incapable of understanding that their idea of "normal" is not everyones idea of "normal".

Let's put normal as fully-informed, consensual and an adult of full legal capacity who has not been abnormally sexualised in some form. I am very liberal sexually, but IMO there are far too many people in porn that I would deem not to fulfil the above criteria and for me, that is enough to abstain from viewing for moral reasons. Let's not forget that a 50 year old man having oral sex with a 12 year old may feel "normal" for him, but even you must admit that it's not right. There have to be basic standards of humanity.


What a load of baseless opinionated nonsense.

It's a forum. The point of a forum is to air opinions. If you don't want to see other's opinions, just stick to writing in your diary!!!! :-)

Virgil°

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

It's a forum. The point of a forum is to air opinions. If you don't want to see other's opinions, just stick to writing in your diary!!!! :-)

This is a "Discussion forum". Humanities in particular is a discussion forum whereby if you continue to "air opinions" which make sweeping statements with little to no attempt to back it up then you wont be taken seriously.

This is not a place to advertise your opinions.So don't get upset when they get challenged.

SIMPLYTHE

The Corinthian wrote: »

TBH, I'd get creeped out by the idea of my sister having sex, regardless of it being in or outside of porn.

But - be honest - your reaction to her having sex and becoming a "porn star" would be very very different. You're completely missing the point if you can't get that!

As Virgil correctly pointed out, you don't actually know - you just have a "sneaking suspicion".

I am simply saying "sneaking suspicion" as I don't have exact figures - obviously - who does?? answer=noone. I was at a Rape Crisis Centre seminar about six months ago and they estimate that rape is hugely underreported. Go figure.
Also, I happen to have friends who, if you met them, you would think they've the most lovely lives ever, nice families, clever, professionals, but they have struggled hugely with massive over-exposure to sex at a young age.

Just cause you've never experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It does. I've first hand experience.

What is "normal" sexual behavior out of curiosity? Or is this something else you have a "sneaking suspicion" about? Please read reply below.

You can live your life as you want to and watch what you want but you are a very close-minded kind of person if you cannot even imagine the scenarios out there. Did you see Jenna Jameson bawling about it on Oprah?? Open your eyes and think about others in the world your living in.

The Corinthian

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

It's a forum. The point of a forum is to air opinions. If you don't want to see other's opinions, just stick to writing in your diary!!!! :-)

The point of this forumis best explained by the forum charter:

"Humanities was created for the purpose of having rational, thoughtful, calm, civil debate about issues. It was created as an alternative to After Hours, as a place for intellectual discourse."

You will note that it referred to "intellectual discourse" as opposed to unsubstantiated opinions. If you'd like to express those, you can do so on After Hours.

The Corinthian

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

You can live your life as you want to and watch what you want but you are a very close-minded kind of person if you cannot even imagine the scenarios out there. Did you see Jenna Jameson bawling about it on Oprah?? Open your eyes and think about others in the world your living in.

So you educated yourself on the subject using Oprah... Ah, I see.

K-9

The Corinthian wrote: »

The point of this forumis best explained by the forum charter:

"Humanities was created for the purpose of having rational, thoughtful, calm, civil debate about issues. It was created as an alternative to After Hours, as a place for intellectual discourse."

You will note that it referred to "intellectual discourse" as opposed to unsubstantiated opinions. If you'd like to express those, you can do so on After Hours.

Some evidence has been provided, it just gets dismissed as feminista type stuff.

The Corinthian

K-9 wrote: »

Some evidence has been provided, it just gets dismissed as feminista type stuff.

Where was this? A few pages back, I presume as I've not seem much evidence for a while.

As to the article that kicked off this thread, this has been dismissed as 'feminista type stuff', but this dismissal was backed up with evidence, if you care to look back.

That article aside, the question of whether porn is harmful or not is still open, IMO.

Unless you watch Oprah, that is.

SIMPLYTHE

Virgil° wrote: »

This is a "Discussion forum". Humanities in particular is a discussion forum whereby if you continue to "air opinions" which make sweeping statements with little to no attempt to back it up then you wont be taken seriously.

This is not a place to advertise your opinions.So don't get upset when they get challenged.

I haven't been challenged. Yourself and Corinth are posting ridiculous replies. Writing re definition of "humanities" as opposed to understanding the point in relation to having "humanity". Relating my point with regard to "your sister" entering porn simply to your sister having sex. (Corinth, I know, but ur replies are similarly stunted) I can see that you two have no understanding and clearly do not even wish to challenge your perceptions of porn. Keep watching it. Keep enjoying it. Turn a blind eye to (at the extreme least) distinct possbilities. Latch onto words, but miss sentences and sentiment. Believe what you want to believe. Live in a compartment. It's ur life. The end.

K-9

The Corinthian wrote: »

Where was this? A few pages back, I presume as I've not seem much evidence for a while.

As to the article that kicked off this thread, this has been dismissed as 'feminista type stuff', but this dismissal was backed up with evidence, if you care to look back.

That article aside, the question of whether porn is harmful or not is still open, IMO.

Unless you watch Oprah, that is.

Experiences have been posted from ex porn stars but some just dismiss them.

I agree the discussion is still open. I wouldn't dismiss any evidence out of hand on either side of the debate. Personally my view is porn is fine but it can become highly addictive if misused.

SIMPLYTHE

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

I know I was sexualised at far too young an age and it took me a long time to come close to discovering what was "normal" sexual behaviour.

I still haven't figured out what "normal" sexual behavior is. I'm rather conservative in my sexual tastes, and yet its usually my partners that are encouraging me to try the more "adventurous" side of things. I'm a guy btw.

I think there's a lot of crap floating around this thread about what men and women get up to, and the reasons for those desires. There appears to almost be a trend where its assumed that men are the ones encouraging different sexual adventures based on their watching of porn, and yet from my own experience its been my partners that have pushed for it.

I have friends who would say the same. Two in particular. Exposure (esp at a young age) = huge risk for desensitivisation. The thing is - it happens - far more often than ppl may think...

Of course it does. Its the way our society is. And its not limited to porn. Its attached to just about every part of our society.

I look at this thread and it reminds of of the attacks the music industry received about teenagers becoming anti-social because of the lyrics. Its a cop out. Attach blame to something in particular and everything else (the real reasons) fall into the background.

Dr. Zeus

Dr. Zeus wrote: »

I think a lot of men get over this by splitting women into the virgin/whore categories. They will sleep with certain girls but wouldn't marry them or being them home to meet mammy.

The fact that you focus on men in this is rather suggestive. Do you believe that women are different in this matter?

I think the same goes for someone's sister doing porn/ being a prostitute. As long as its not my sister its okay mentality.

TBH, If she's happy doing it, has thought out the practical side of things, and can explain her reasoning for doing so, then its not going to bother me that much. But then my family tends to be very liberal towards what people want to do versus what they're supposed to do.

With regard to damaged people being in porn which I imagine is not true for all but for a lot I would say it is the case..

There are "damaged" people everywhere. Why should Porn be any different?

Nobody wants to think about that too much (porn stars included). it's interesting that once people have left the porn industry only then they start to talk about negative impacts on their lives.

And thats also true about most industries. People tend to glorify their jobs (regardless of what it is) while they're doing it, and then rip it apart when they move on. The same can be said about priests, police officers, nurses, etc. Its part of human nature.

It ruins the moment, kills the fantasy, takes the varnish off and may kills profit. Porn is a multi billion dollar industry and the industry is going to do all it can to keep it that way.

Of course, that's logical. Why they do anything else? But lets face it... its the customer that creates the fantasy an maintains it. With the exception of special events, customers rarely interact with the actors/actresses of the porn movies. And as for the amateur movies out there, which accounts for a rather large part of internet porn, customers/viewers never meet the participants. So the reality isn't going to bother them very much. Webcams being the possible exception considering the interactive aspect of it.

Too much a reality check for many. Hence why so many people get so defensive when the side effects of porn are noted. It's like the whole drinking culture mentality. If you're not out getting wasted sure you're no craic - don't know what you're missing etc.

I think you're mixing up being defensive with disagreeing with you. There is a tendency to pass off opposing opinions as the person being defensive. I'd prefer to hear some realistic and logical points of view..

Virgil°

SIMPLYTHE wrote: »

I haven't been challenged. Yourself and Corinth are posting ridiculous replies. Writing re definition of "humanities" as opposed to understanding the point in relation to having "humanity".

Thus far your point of view has been challenged several times with rather well constructed criticisms. Corinthian has made several good points and pointed out several gaping holes in your logic and all you can do is blather on. No sources or even well defined reasoning to back up your points.

Relating my point with regard to "your sister" entering porn simply to your sister having sex. (Corinth, I know, but ur replies are similarly stunted) I can see that you two have no understanding and clearly do not even wish to challenge your perceptions of porn.

In fact quite the opposite is occuring here. As far as i can tell most of the people here supposedly "defending porn" are simply asking people who oppose it "why they oppose it?".
If i was given good evidence that porn is severely damaging from a reliable resource i'd look at it and then decide for myself whether i agree with it or not.
Unfortunately youve been unable to do this instead relying on anecdotes and Oprah :rolleyes: .
To put it simply we aren't trying to convince you porn is good, unlike you trying to convince us its bad, we just asking questions and discussing. So i'd say its you who needs your perceptions challenged.
So heres one, how would you like it if your sister said to you she wanted to pursue a career in hamburger flipping?

Keep watching it. Keep enjoying it. Turn a blind eye to (at the extreme least) distinct possbilities. Latch onto words, but miss sentences and sentiment. Believe what you want to believe. Live in a compartment. It's ur life. The end.

Okay, seriously , what the hell are you talking about?

gbee

Deleted User wrote: »

There appears to almost be a trend where its assumed that men are the ones encouraging different sexual adventures based on their watching of porn, and yet from my own experience its been my partners that have pushed for it.

The Missionary position is allowed in a Catholic or some Christian faiths. I [a male] married a Catholic girl. We had a great relationship and anything missing for me was satisfied by porn.

But, to add credence to you point above, it was my wife, who never watched porn, instigated more adventurous routines ...

As men we serve our women, those not satisfied .... seemingly complain!

The Corinthian

K-9 wrote: »

Experiences have been posted from ex porn stars but some just dismiss them.

I cannot speak for others, but I rebutted rather than dismissed such arguments.

Experiences have been posted from ex porn stars have been posted and should not be dismissed. However, neither should they be accepted blindly either and this was pointed out. Some, such as Linda Lovelace have been accused of having lied about many of their experiences as a means of abdicating responsibility for their own choices and reemerge whiter than white upon retirement from the industry. Other such experiences, such as Michelle Anne Sinclair (a.k.a. Belladonna) subsequently came out repudiating things that they had allegedly said as having manipulated by a media with a moralistic agenda.

Even then, it is still more than likely that true horror stories come from the industry, but one needs to ask if they are representative of that industry - after all you'll get horror stories of abuse and exploitation in every industry.

Now raising those points in response to the experiences of ex porn stars is not a dismissal, because it counters with both argument and evidence - it is a rebuttal.

I agree the discussion is still open. I wouldn't dismiss any evidence out of hand on either side of the debate. Personally my view is porn is fine but it can become highly addictive if misused.

I agree that it's an open debate and that it is more than likely that some of the negative aspects are being glossed over by the pro-porn side.

However, this debate has been intellectually one sided from what I can see, and it is difficult to argue with the majority of anti-porn side who seem only capable of sweeping generalizations based on little more than opinion, day-time television and limited anecdotal evidence, relying almost entirely on appeals to emotion rather than reason and then getting upset when their opinions are not treated as Gospel.

When someone starts creating parallels between 'humanities' and 'humanity' with a straight face, you know that you're not going to get a very cerebral or reasoned discussion. At that stage, all you can really do is smile, nod your head and wait until they go back to watching Oprah.

joseph brand

Dolorous wrote: »

Excellent article, for me sums up my problems with the pornography industry much more eloquently than I could. It is extremely uncool to say that you dislike porn or have a fundamental problem with it. God forbid, if you do you are obviously a prude who has hangups about sex :rolleyes:



When I was a teenager some of the lads thought it would be funny to put on a porn movie in a room full of unsuspecting girls. What disturbed me most was the undertone of violence and humiliation, that this 'wh*re' being f*cked as hard as possible and reduced to a collection of orifices was apparently what men were supposed to get off on.

Some of my single female friends have been surprised by sexual expectations from guys they have been seeing, that can probably be attributed to the increasing exposure to porn. One girl told me that the first time she gave him oral, he had ejaculated into her face without warning her. When she got upset, he was surprised, as it's 'always done in porn'. How many (younger) men nowadays 'expect' anal, or nothing less than a total and complete wax downstairs, or think that a 'cumshot' is normal? Yes, men have always liked to look at titillating images, but I would say that the blurring of lines between porn and real-life expectations have really increased over the last 10 years or so.

So a girl feels ok to give the guy oral, but some semen on her face is shocking, so much so that she gets upset? She needs to grow up. No wonder these women are single. Maybe they need to be a bit more mature and get some confidence.
She must have known what was cumming! (My wife's words) Classic. Surprised me. btw, my wife is not into this either, but she would not get upset. She would/ has let me know, not again.

I reckon a lot of women would prefer not to 'get it' on the face, but it doesn't mean that it would 'upset' them.

joseph brand

Too much a reality check for many. Hence why so many people get so defensive when the side effects of porn are noted. It's like the whole drinking culture mentality. If you're not out getting wasted sure you're no craic - don't know what you're missing etc.

What a retarded statement. Really annoys me. It's the waffle of a person not willing to listen to the other side. When someone disagrees, you call them defensive?

I'm still wondering about the poor male pornstars. :rolleyes:

The Corinthian

joseph brand wrote: »

So a girl feels ok to give the guy oral, but some semen on her face is shocking, so much so that she gets upset?

In fairness doing something like that without any warning is pretty unacceptable. One should never assume someone is into a particular sexual practice and even when they are they can often need some form of preparation first.

Indeed, how would you feel if after having sex (with the girl on top) she decided to take a pee on you, without warning, because she's into watersports?

Please don't answer "aroused" :rolleyes:

joseph brand

Lol.

If she was Kelly Brook she could take a 'pee' on me any time of the day, and I'm not even into that stuff.

@The Corinthian
Besides pee is not the same as semen. What if you went down on a girl and she came, would you be upset? Would you cry? I hope not. :P



I'm just wondering if Gail is on some sort of crusade, causing hysteria among women, bashing men, and the porn industry. It's not like she's getting publicity or gonna make any money out of all this. :rolleyes:

Plus, before googling her, I had an image of what she might look like, and I was pretty close. Is it any surprise that it's never a pretty woman complaining about men and porn, only the fuglies. Or is it pug-fugly?

I'm pretty sure there are some real stories we could hear from wives or gf's, but I don't wanna just listen to Gail.

The Corinthian

joseph brand wrote: »

Besides pee is not the same as semen.

No, but for some it's a big deal and others it's not - just as semen is for some a big deal and others not. Just as you cannot accuse the anti-porn side of being dogmatic about what is acceptable or not, neither can you do the same.

Certain sexual practices have become more commonplace, while others have become rarer, nonetheless one should never make assumptions on what is or is not acceptable in the bedroom just because something is in vogue.

Now this may lead one to decide that someone is incompatible with you on the basis of what they will or will not try, but that's life.

What if you went down on a girl and she came, would you be upset? Would you cry? I hope not. :P

I think you're confusing an involuntary action with a very much deliberate one.

I'm just wondering if Gail is on some sort of crusade, causing hysteria among women, bashing men, and the porn industry. It's not like she's getting publicity or gonna make any money out of all this. :rolleyes:

Plus, before googling her, I had an image of what she might look like, and I was pretty close. Is it any surprise that it's never a pretty woman complaining about men and porn, only the fuglies. Or is it pug-fugly?

I'm pretty sure there are some real stories we could hear from wives or gf's, but I don't wanna just listen to Gail.

After that, I think I may reconsider my previous observation on the intellectual one-sidedness of this discussion.

The Corinthian

The Corinthian wrote: »

In fairness doing something like that without any warning is pretty unacceptable. One should never assume someone is into a particular sexual practice and even when they are they can often need some form of preparation first.

Indeed, how would you feel if after having sex (with the girl on top) she decided to take a pee on you, without warning, because she's into watersports?

Please don't answer "aroused" :rolleyes:

But at the same time I've had women bite, scratch, and slap me during sex even though I've never introduced such a notion before.. Its one thing to nibble, but when you're missing skin in your back or have scratch marks on the side of your neck, I kinda get annoyed.

I always thought I was fairly worldly wise (after spending so long on the net and traveling quite a bit), and yet when it comes to sex, I've been introduced to something in a rather straightforward manner by women. I can still remember quite clearly the shock I felt when this extremely innocent looking (and rather sexy) woman put my hands around her neck and asked her to choke her during sex.

Maybe I've just had a strange history with women.

The Corinthian

Deleted User wrote: »

But at the same time I've had women bite, scratch, and slap me during sex even though I've never introduced such a notion before.. Its one thing to nibble, but when you're missing skin in your back or have scratch marks on the side of your neck, I kinda get annoyed.

Yeah, came across that on more than one occasion and called a stop to things.

Typically the response has been that they "lose control" - if a guy used that line he'd be doing time in the Joy for rape :rolleyes:

I can still remember quite clearly the shock I felt when this extremely innocent looking (and rather sexy) woman put my hands around her neck and asked her to choke her during sex.

I remember, I was about 21 at the time being asked to "hurt" one women in the throws of passion, as it were. A combination of the heat of the moment and confusion and I just blurted out "you've put on weight". Didn't go down well.

Maybe I've just had a strange history with women.

If I had a penny...