ladies . . .worst pick up line????

Sabatage

cazzycaz wrote: »

I was working in a bar in England when an Irish guy came in and asked me 'have i any Irish in me' I said no and he said 'would you like some ?'

He robbed that from Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy - Live and Dangerous live album "Is there anybody here with any Irish in them - Is there any of the girls who would like a little more Irish in them" !!

leahyl

"that dress looks fabulous on you.....it'd look even better on my bedroom floor...." :rolleyes:

Scarinae

leahyl wrote: »

"that dress looks fabulous on you.....it'd look even better on my bedroom floor...." :rolleyes:

Hah, a guy once tried a version of that on a friend of mine - "You look good in that dress, but you'd look better on my d1ck" Seriously, wtf?

A V A

what would a true girl say if a guy went up to them in a club and just simply said "your very pretty / gorgus / beautiful" what ever one comes out

NoHornJan

I'm a cukoo and I want to lay eggs in your nest...

Esel

A V A wrote: »

what would a true girl say if a guy went up to them in a club and just simply said "your very pretty / gorgus / beautiful" what ever one comes out

"Why thank you, kind sir. Now piss off, you unoriginal berk!"

Ianatg, btw.

A V A

esel wrote: »

"Why thank you, kind sir. Now piss off, you unoriginal berk!"

Ianatg, btw.

???????? what haha

Novella

A V A wrote: »

what would a true girl say if a guy went up to them in a club and just simply said "your very pretty / gorgus / beautiful" what ever one comes out

I'd say, "Thanks". Yup, that's pretty much it!

The Lovely Muffin

Novella wrote: »

I'd say, "Thanks". Yup, that's pretty much it!

Exactly what I'd say too.

A V A

if they said something bad for no reason i would quikly reply with " that dress doesnt do you any favors " . . . if theyre guna be a bitch so can i heheh

southsiderosie

Oh god, there are so many I have blocked out of my consciousness forever, but here are a few...a few of these may sound familiar...

From a drunk man with three teeth: "Girl, you got some suckable toes!"

From my then-boyfriend's teammate (when he stepped out of the room): "If you were my woman, I'd have you five months along with my seed"

Heard in a dive bar in Miami: "You're a big girl, but you know how to work it!"

From an otherwise seemingly sane person after I'd returned from the beach in Spain: "Girl, I will lick that suntan right off of you"

Heard while working as a lifeguard (many, many times): "Help! I'm drowning! I think I need some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" Usually the man yelling it was standing in six inches of water...and pronounced it "re-sessi-ashun".

And of course the classic: "That must be jelly, 'coz jam don't shake like that."

leahyl

Purple_Bobbin wrote: »

Exactly what I'd say too.

ya i'd prob just say 'thanks' and smile but you don't get genuine guys like that too often! haha

leahyl

Fishie wrote: »

Hah, a guy once tried a version of that on a friend of mine - "You look good in that dress, but you'd look better on my d1ck" Seriously, wtf?

EEEEEWWW!!!:eek:

milehip1

asked a girl on a night out what was was the worst she'd heard
she paused, looked around and uttered this beauty;
'my names Bond,
polybond,
and i'm here to fill your crack'
:eek:

also heard this from a friend about a guy from Conemara who walks up to a girl and says
How are you?my name is Miheal and i will shift you till you die.

The Lovely Muffin

milehip1 wrote: »

asked a girl on a night out what was was the worst she'd heard
she paused, looked around and uttered this beauty;
'my names Bond,
polybond,
and i'm here to fill your crack'
:eek:

LOL, that cracked me up!

Wacker

Wacker wrote: »

Tips for the lads here: this isn't a pick-up line, exactly. It's just a sure-fire way of getting a girl to laugh. You'll then have the option of throwing a friendly smile and just walking away, or starting conversation. Correct context & delivery is essential though. In a situation where a girl has done any act of kindness to you; held a door while you're carrying pints, served you a drink, lit your cigarette, etc. Then, try this:

"Do you know what you have in common with Barbie?" Say this with a slight cheeky grin, but not too much. The girl will brace for impact, thinking it will be about her breasts or something equally sleazy. She'll probably defensively reply "Go on...."
"You're a doll!" Big happy smile to accompany it.

I've used this line a million times. It has received a bad reaction once, and she was a bit of a b*tch. Try it!

Hi folks,

I was at Castlepalooza over the weekend, and I was hanging out with some people I'd not met before. A pretty Asian girl gave me some of her whiskey, so I used the above line on her. Before I could say my punchline, one of the lads went "She's made in China...?" It was one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

Fago!

I giggled.

The Lovely Muffin

This evening on my way into town this oul fella said to me 'here love, can I have a blowjob'.

Dirty aul git!:mad:

southsiderosie

A friend posted this on Facebook and I had to re-post here because it was so damn funny. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Sketchy 28ish y/o man on street ouside of mall: you know where the gucci store is?

Friend: (totally ignores him)

Sketchy man on street outside of the mall: you wanna help me cross the street?

Friend: (dripping with sarcasm) Do I look like a girlscout to you - Friend has broken the cardinal rule..do not address the crazies

Sketchy man on street outside of the mall: mmm mmm mmm yeah you can be my girlscout

Sketchy man and his friend loook at each other and say in unison: "I would buy ALL your cookies"

Friend: (picks up speed and crosses the street)

Sketchy MEN screaming: "hey wanna go to Legal seafood with us?"

apope8

was locked in a jazz bar in new york and walked up to this lady and says
"I know they say once you go black you never go back but once you go white your va jay jay stays tight!"

I think the only thing that saved me was my accent :cool:

Feeona

Purple_Bobbin wrote: »

This evening on my way into town this oul fella said to me 'here love, can I have a blowjob'.

Ha ha what a moron! You should have replied 'I don't know, can you?'

skywards

Some guy told me I looked like an elf once, but it was "totally ok" because "elves are hot". I'm still laughing my ass off over that one.

Princess Peach

Australian guy- Can I give you an Australian kiss? Its like a French kiss, except down under.

Made me gag a little, but I kissed him (on the mouth) cause his accent was dreamy

MissMiami

I can't remember most of the chat up lines I've heard but the first one that was ever used on me was "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Didn't work!


Another time I was leaving a club and some guy came running after me and said "Wait, aren't you forgetting something?" I checked I had my coat and replied "What?" He goes "Me!" It's kind of cute but I wasn't single!

blue5000

Worst one I heard was
OLD lad says to a girl in her 20's ' When I was in the shower this mornin I think I saw a grey pube. Would you like to come back to my place to help me find it again?'
Poor girl was terrified.:eek:

kmepll

Worked with a Barman who thought he was Gods Gift,He was constanstly chatting this girl up and getting no where when out of the blue she reaches across the counter and says to him with all of us listening "I'm having a party in my mouth do you want to c***",He just stood there speechless and she broke her heart laughing.

stringy

sorry, have you got any raisins?

eh, no.....

how about a date?

pinkheels88

"Sit on my face and I'll guess how much you weigh"... :rolleyes: In fairness, he didn't use that gem of a line on me, but he told me it the next morning when discussing bad chat up lines...

housetypeb

When i was young, a buddy of mine used to use this line on the ladies.

buddy. Do you sleep on your stomach?
girl. No.
buddy. Well, Do you mind if i do?

Some got the joke -some didn't.