'What the fúck?!' Moments

brummytom

You know those moments when you think 'Hang on... what the fuck?'



I don't get buses normally, I've no need to. This week, however, I've had exams so haven't had to be in school all day, and haven't used the school coaches, so I've got the bus instead.


I got the bus today, it's about a 40 minute journey. Half way there, the bus driver got out of seat, came out from behind the little screen and then proceeded to put newspapers through the doors of every house on this street.

I seemed to be the only passenger even slightly fazed by the bus driver doing what appeared to be a paper round during the journey, not of the old biddies on the bus batted an eyelid.


Anyone ever had any moments where you think: '...what?' ?

Zombienosh

ah good old dublin bus. I love when they stop for a chat and a smoke.

o1s1n

Are you sure you were riding a bus and not a newspaper delivery van?

Bonito

When a condom splits.

tony1kenobi

I was at a zebra crossing and an old lady was stood next to me.She grabbed my arm, and being a nice lad I thought she maybe felt woozy or just wanted help crossing the road.She then proceeded to piss herself...then let go of my arm and walked on like it hadn't happened.

keithg89

I seen a man eat his own head.

KeithM89_old

Also Bus related, i saw a man sitting beside a massive piece of **** for a good 15 minutes - the smell was horrid

Rented Mule

I was seeing this woman (about 10 years ago) and she rang me one evening at work. Lots of small talk going back and forth about what we got up to the night before. So that talk had started to die down and I asked her 'so what did you get up to today ??'

'Remember my friend Mark?' she said.

"Nope...no idea who he is', I thought to myself. 'Oh yeah ...sure' is what I said .

'Well I finally sucked him off' she said.

WTF ?

I nearly spit out my tea across the room.

'is that a bad thing?' she said

WTF (AGAIN) ??

She called me for months afterward apologising. In hindsight I find it hysterical.

bronte

Was told on Monday that Lily Allen briefly attended my primary school back home in wee Leixlip. That was a WTF moment. :pac:

PirateShampoo

When i felt her balls.

Latchy

I witnessed a young 9 year old kid being completely run over by a Mini in Dublin and totally shocked and freaked out by what I and several other people had witnessed , was expecting to see blood and guts everywere . But there was none to be seen and after being kept in hospital overnight he was released next day . That was one ' WTF' moements in my life and I still recoil in horror when I picture it happening .

Daemos

Lee Evans

Mint Sauce

the crying game

Giselle

I've seen men using rechargeable shavers in their cars a few times, but one morning I saw a van driver giving himself a haircut with one of those hair trimmers. While still driving.

actuallylike

A while ago on boards, someone posted a quite cringeworthy attempt at an anniversary for Katy French shown below.
http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/528/french.jpg
Annoying as it is to see such a non celebrity that is famous for nothing, someone searched the OP's previous posts and found this
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/3530/lohang.jpg
WTF!!!!!

kumate_champ07

A few weeks ago I was on a dublin bus and there was an odd guy sitting in front of me, I glanced at the book he was reading and it was an erotic novel, it was filthy. I could prob guess what was on his mind when a pretty lady dressed in summer clothes would get on the bus as he would look at them.

then I noticed the weird part, he had a long thick scar down the back of his head and neck with no hair on it, looked like he had brain surgery or something.

today I was hanging out with a few horses, sat down in the garden and then turned around and looked back into the yard, the big lad who was licking my arm(they love salt) had a massive boner and was staring at me

Daemos

Maybe he knew you were a kumate champ?

ElaElaElano

Was on the bus a few years ago, and at the Stillorgan flyover it got stuck in a huge traffic jam. Out of boredom, or just madness, the driver got out of his seat, ran upstairs and screamed 'I don't know what a tracker mortgage is!!!' and then ran back down really quickly like an excited schoolgirl.

Velvet shank

A friend of mine was on a Dublin bus one time. Somewhere along the route the driver got out, entered barbers, and got himself a haircut

kumate_champ07

DaPoolRulz wrote: »

Maybe he knew you were a kumate champ?

it's pronounced kú-ma-tay

karlog

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

it's pronounced kú-ma-tay

i love that movie

geeky

ElaElaElano wrote: »

Was on the bus a few years ago, and at the Stillorgan flyover it got stuck in a huge traffic jam. Out of boredom, or just madness, the driver got out of his seat, ran upstairs and screamed 'I don't know what a tracker mortgage is!!!' and then ran back down really quickly like an excited schoolgirl.

Was it that kinda unkempt fellah who drives the 84? Love that guy.

In a non-gay way.

kumate_champ07

karlog wrote: »

i love that movie

what movie?

Taco Corp

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

A few weeks ago I was on a dublin bus and there was an odd guy sitting in front of me, I glanced at the book he was reading and it was an erotic novel, it was filthy. I could prob guess what was on his mind when a pretty lady dressed in summer clothes would get on the bus as he would look at them.

then I noticed the weird part, he had a long thick scar down the back of his head and neck with no hair on it, looked like he had brain surgery or something.

today I was hanging out with a few horses, sat down in the garden and then turned around and looked back into the yard, the big lad who was licking my arm(they love salt) had a massive boner and was staring at me

Reminds me of this

Lando Griffin

Was half fueled one night in the local one night, during a visit to the toilet ran out of paper, I only needed one last bit but nothing, so I reached into my wallet and took out two fivers and said sure WTF. Felt like one of those navel burials you see on telly as i watched them swirl away

InTheTrees

How about the Nigerian football player this morning who's team was up by a goal and who decides during a throw in to kick the opposing player in the crotch while in touch.

WTF???????????????????

He gets throw off, his team is a man down and they end up losing by a goal.

Unbelievable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVqz1aawASA

The_Kew_Tour

Jedward

ElaElaElano

geeky wrote: »

Was it that kinda unkempt fellah who drives the 84? Love that guy.

In a non-gay way.

That's him yeah, small, earring- looks a bit like Maradonna's long lost brother.

He's obviously well known for shít that like then!

geeky

ElaElaElano wrote: »

That's him yeah, small, earring- looks a bit like Maradonna's long lost brother.

He's obviously well known for shít that like then!

Actually I've never seen him do anything like that, but read the post and could already it. He's really nice, actually, goes out of his way to help people out - and entertain them, it appears.

K-9

A few things but 2 girls, 1 cup wins every time.

Latchy

InTheTrees wrote: »

How about the Nigerian football player this morning who's team was up by a goal and who decides during a throw in to kick the opposing player in the crotch while in touch.

WTF???????????????????

He gets throw off, his team is a man down and they end up losing by a goal.

Unbelievable.

I hope for his sake the Nigerian Mafia haven't got the proceeds from fake ' email money scams ' riding on Nigeria to win the match /world cup :pac:

StereoLove

One day I was out shopping and this ramdom Polish woman came up to me started talking to me in Polish! I was like WTF woman!? I don't speek Polish!!

elvis99

Last week my mates and i were having a very random conversation, we were talkin about what appeals us to certain women.

Suddenly one of my friends blurts out how he likes to play with himself on the toilet. Probably the biggest wtf moment of my life.

GirlOfGlass

K-9 wrote: »

A few things but 2 girls, 1 cup wins every time.

One man, one jar.
*vomits*

geeky

K-9 wrote: »

A few things but 2 girls, 1 cup wins every time.

:eek:

geeky

Latchy wrote: »

I hope for his sake the Nigerian Mafia haven't got the proceeds from fake ' email money scams ' riding on Nigeria to win the match /world cup :pac:

Pretty soon he'll get one of those emails from a 'hitman' demanding €30,000...

K-9

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

One man, one jar.
*vomits*

I'm not Googling that!

GirlOfGlass

K-9 wrote: »

I'm not Googling that!

DO IT!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

GirlOfGlass wrote: »

DO IT!

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

This is now the worst day of my life :(:(

Damn you:mad::mad:

FruitLover

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

it's pronounced kú-ma-tay

Nope.

The Japanese 'e' sound in 'te' ('て' in hiragana, '手' in the kanji for 'kumate') is a monophthong, i.e. it has only one sound. The 'ay in 'tay' is a diphthong (i.e. it has two sounds, the 'a' sound and the 'y' sound). The Japanese would write that as 'てい' (tei).

K-9

Never going to give you up, never going to let you down.

GirlOfGlass

Nylah Damaged Tenant wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

This is now the worst day of my life :(:(

Damn you:mad::mad:

The guy really amazes me.
Wonder how his arse is doing.

ddef

No word of lie, when i was 15 i was working late in the art room for the JC. usually id get the bus home but as the dart bus was leaving for the station i said grand n hopped on got the dart and got to bray.
when standing there at about 8pm near enough to summer, so it was still very bright. and old woman was standing next to me as i was waiting for a lift home from the station.
next thing i hear is this loud farting noise and i was thinking "thats rotton sounding"....i soon found out it wasnt a fart. there was a big brown stain on the back of her white skirt and there was brown liquid dribbling down the back of her legs. i nearly puked it was disgusting and smelt so bad. everytime i take a big watery **** i think of that old shat lady at bray dart station

magma69

This news story I read today. :eek:

GirlOfGlass

ddef wrote: »

there was a big brown stain on the back of her white skirt and there was brown liquid dribbling down the back of her legs. i nearly puked it was disgusting and smelt so bad.

Oh man, that is priceless!
Bet she regretted wearing white that day.

jonnyfingers

I was parked outside the garda station in Dun Laoghaire a while back and a junkie walked up to the side of the car and used the driver's side mirror to examine her face. She kept repeating "look at the ****ing state of me!" in her best Northside accent.

As it was a warm day I had the driver's side window open, and because of the angle of the mirror she had to nearly stick her head inside the door to see her reflection, so her face was about three inches from mine. Didn't know what to do but as she kept mumbling I slowly raised the electric windows. Felt like something Alan Partridge would do!

After about 5 minutes she fecked off. Never asked me for anything, just wanted to "look at the state" of herself! Weird.

geeky

jonnyfingers wrote: »

Felt like something Alan Partridge would do!

:pac::pac::pac:

minister poxbottle

StereoLove wrote: »

One day I was out shopping and this ramdom Polish woman came up to me started talking to me in Polish! I was like WTF woman!? I don't speek Polish!!

how do you know she was polish then could been russian ffs

barleybooley

I think the new dulco lax ad had me in awe for a good five minutes, mental, just mental, i mean, who sits around talking about sh1t?

minister poxbottle

jonnyfingers wrote: »

I was parked outside the garda station in Dun Laoghaire a while back and a junkie walked up to the side of the car and used the driver's side mirror to examine her face. She kept repeating "look at the ****ing state of me!" in her best Northside accent.

As it was a warm day I had the driver's side window open, and because of the angle of the mirror she had to nearly stick her head inside the door to see her reflection, so her face was about three inches from mine. Didn't know what to do but as she kept mumbling I slowly raised the electric windows. Felt like something Alan Partridge would do!

After about 5 minutes she fecked off. Never asked me for anything, just wanted to "look at the state" of herself! Weird.

whats a northside junkie doin on the southside. answer all junkies sound the same its a junkie thing :pac:

minister poxbottle

ddef wrote: »

No word of lie, when i was 15 i was working late in the art room for the JC. usually id get the bus home but as the dart bus was leaving for the station i said grand n hopped on got the dart and got to bray.
when standing there at about 8pm near enough to summer, so it was still very bright. and old woman was standing next to me as i was waiting for a lift home from the station.
next thing i hear is this loud farting noise and i was thinking "thats rotton sounding"....i soon found out it wasnt a fart. there was a big brown stain on the back of her white skirt and there was brown liquid dribbling down the back of her legs. i nearly puked it was disgusting and smelt so bad. everytime i take a big watery **** i think of that old shat lady at bray dart station

if yer gonna **** yerself bray's the place to do it :rolleyes: been a genuine siht hole an all