Unexpected item in baggage area

kielmanator

Pighead wrote: »

"How the hell is it unexpected? It's a fcuking Tesco bag. And this is fcuking Tescos!" Pighead screamed at the smug female voice hiding behind her computer screen in the supermarket last night.

Honestly, Pighead doesn't know how you women do it. Was forced to go shopping last night as Miss Piggy has rather selfishly gone away on a holiday leaving her man to fend for himself all week. Can honestly without a hint of hyperbole say it was the most distressing, frustrating and traumatic half hour of this posters life thus far.

First off the supermarkets are far far too big. They're like airports except instead of planes there are loads of useless food items. No need for 90% of the crap they sell.

They should just have two aisles. One isle with meat and drink and the other aisle with fruit and veg. Absolutely no need for "Microwaveable Indian Poppadoms" or "Cheese flavoured ice-cream".

Pigheads shopping list comprised of six measly items yet it took him about a half an hour and roughly seven miles walking to complete his task. Wasn't sure if baked beans were a fruit or a vegetable so decided to look in both sections. Nowhere to be found. Eventually found them several miles South West of the fruit and veg area sitting beside the rice and pasta. Again, ridiculous positioning by management. It's like waking up and putting a sock on your head.

Eventually got to the checkout and it was about 4 miles long. One of the Tesco people could obviously see the angry steam pouring out of Pigheads ears and tried to calm him down by bringing him over to the self service checkout. They should change it's name to the self congratulating smug condescending piece of crap checkout.

Pighead looked like some sort of karate expert as he made various unsuccessful efforts and pulled various karate like poses to get the barcode of the Sugar Puffs to scan in. Then the bitch started banging on about "Unexpected item in the baggage area" That was when Pighead fell to the floor and cried and screamed "Why did you leave me Miss Piggy? Why, why, why?"

Can't remember much after that but pretty sure somebody politely told Pighead that he wasn't welcome back in their store anymore. No problem buster.

So whats your opinion on the self service checkouts? Are they friend or foe to the modern consumer?

+1 Epic, epic post my man.

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

I think they are a bit of a con to be honest. It's like going to a restaurant and being asked if you want to prep your own food - I think anyone using them should get a discount.

The only workable solution is to set up a heavy machine gun and mow down anyone too useless or slow to use them properly or anyone who has more than six items.

Of course this step would mean an absence of third person posts.

Another possibility is to load the software with a camera and an assortment of catty quotes in the voice of Alan Carr - Oooh, sorry darlin' but you are too fat to eat that, why not try some celery.

Or - Oooh darlin', you'll need more than make up to cover that puss,

Or - Oooh darlin' lookin' at the gee on you, I'd go for the super flow

Etc Etc

I love it. Reminds me of when I was on a training camp with the RDF in Tralee in 2008. Fella from my company had never been to Tesco in his entire life, and when we approached the SS tills, he watched in awe as we flew threw with our few bits and pieces of supplies. However (shock/horror:eek:) he didn't know what to do. Needless to say, after a lot of swearing and battering, it ended in disaster, and 4 guys in uniform getting kicked out.

lucylu wrote: »

As a rule I don't shop on Tesco & the only reason I would go there is to use the self service checkout to empty the handbag of coppers and torn notes that shopkeepers are reluctant accept.

Jaysus, technology today is wonderful. The ability to actually do your shopping on the roof of the shop? Epic stuff! Is this a new thing or is it around with a while? And are the checkouts weather-proof?

ED E

C@ntish thing shortchanged me last week. The lad was sound though and just opened her up and got me my tenner:)

They are a load of bollox TBH. "Item does not scan" or whatever it is is the worst. Keyed it in manually, twice, still no. Then the guy comes over, tries himself, then f@cks off to the pizza aisle for ten minutes to find the price(3.50) then manually adds it. It also just randomly says wait for assistance ever now and then...:mad:

ED E

Revived



Tesco Dundrum just changed their machines, what a f'ing mess. Half of them are out of service and the others are confusing all the customers, and the staff are still being trained. They're lucky their donuts are so cheap.