Your anti-jokes go here

Sarky

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.

Matt Holck

We tired to make you angry
and you got angry

landsleaving

What's black and white, and red all over?
Nothing.

Matt Holck

http://www.pushtofire.com/ulorinvex.html

Sarky

Matt Holck fails at anti-jokes.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: It was startled by a loud noise and crossed the road to get away from what it thought was a predator.

Deki

A shipwrecked sailor washed ashore on a desert island. He found a bottle half buried in the sand he pulled the cork. Nothing happened. It was empty and he slowly starved to death.

Sarky

Precisely.

jonnybadd

Q: Why don't they sell headache relieving medicine in the jungle?

A: Because by its population per capita it is not financially viable

Matt Holck

what did babelfish say in french?
que le babelfish a-t-il fait disent-ils en français ?

why do artist over react?

because they are sensitive




why I'm I no good at this

because I never cared much for jokes

Poor Uncle Tom

What did one canibal say to the other after eating a clown?

"We'll get in big trouble for this!"

Fago!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The repo man, I've come to take your house and stuff.

Awww man!

PFJSplitter

Q: Why was the prostitute crying?


A: Because it's a natural human reaction during specific emotional turmoil.


Anti-Jokes

casio4

what happened when the volcano erupted?
all flights were cancelled

bigeasyeah

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he's a prick.

Poor Uncle Tom

Knock Knock,
Who's there?
Johnny,
Johnny who?
Johnny who just fell off his bike and needs you to call an ambulance..

casio4

knock knock
who's there?
me
me who?
me I forgot my key

why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side

what's pink and fluffy?
pink fluff

Cicero

Knock Knock....

I'll get it...

casio4

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman & Paddy Scotsman were all called Paddy

Cicero

A blind man with a parrot on his shoulder went into a pub...walked up to the barman and said...I'd like a pint for myself, and a glass for my parrot...and the barman said.....................................................................................................................................................................

Sure...would you like Ice with that?...................and the blindman said..........................


Yes Please..............

Deki

A rabbi and a priest were involved in a auto accident- a bad one. Amazingly the clerics emerge from the demolished vehicles unhurt. "Gee," said the rabbi,"That was luck!"
"Yes," replied the priest, "Sure was."

Cicero

I'm going to get a 1 day ban for the following:

2 Babies walked into a Gay bar....one turned to the other and said...oh feic..we're in the wrong joke....!!!!

Jesus Wept

Q: How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One.

Glenster

What's brown and sticky?

The inertia in society that makes people post jokes on the internet instead of doing something about the 30,000 children that are trafficked each year.

Poor Uncle Tom

Yes, they should walk instead, it's healthier.

sNarah

Q: What's the difference between homophilia and pedophilia?

A: According to the church - nothing.

bigeasyeah

Q.Why did World War One start?
A.There were numerous reasons.

Q.Why did the dinosaur eat the baby?
A.He didnt.Humans didnt appear untill after the extinction of dinosaurs.

sNarah

An Irish fella, an English geezer and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

They drink the heads of themselves, get into several fights, urinate against the bar get arrested and fined 2500 €.

bigeasyeah

A man caught his wife cheating on him so he killed her and her lover.
He dumped their bodies in a river.
Later he killed himself.

Deki

Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us."
"Great. Where do you live?"
"Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in"
"Fine. Can do!" said Larry.

bigeasyeah

Man: Doctor Doctor I feel like Im falling apart.
Doctor: Do you have an appointment?
Man: No
Doctor: Then make one and Ill see you at the allotted time.

Poor Uncle Tom

Did you hear the one about the man who kept shaking his head and shouting obscenities at anyone who came near?

He has Tourettes' Syndrome and one of the side effects of his meds means he has a permanent nervous tick.