Girls Bitching??

vicecreamsundae

i talk about all of my friends, but i wouldn't consider it bitching -it's not malicious or mean spirited. and i don't talk about anything personal or that's a secret.
if a friend was annoying me and i just needed to rant about them a bit, it would be to another friend who doesn't know the first one. i dont think there's anything wrong with that, but i wouldnt rant negatively about them to a mutual friend.

i definitely thing boys are as bad as girls, and HATE when girls say things like "i dont hang out with girls, they're so bitchy". i think it's a really anti woman statement to make, and from what i've seen, most girls who "only" hang out with girls actually just get off on the attention they get from there male friends, and don't like that female friends dont kiss their asses or suck up to them they way guy friends do. not that they'd ever admit that!

for the record, i dont think there's anything wrong with having lots of male friends or identifying with males more, just don't like it when girls make a point of not liking other girls, and then say the problem is "other women" rather than their own insecurities.

SugarHigh

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

I definitely thing boys are as bad as girls, and HATE when girls say things like "i dont hang out with girls, they're so bitchy". i think it's a really anti woman statement to make, and from what i've seen, most girls who "only" hang out with girls actually just get off on the attention they get from there male friends, and don't like that female friends dont kiss their asses or suck up to them they way guy friends do. not that they'd ever admit that!

+1 to all of this

Guy's are just as bitchy as women but they wouldn't really be that bitchy about women because like what someone else said they're not in competition with them.

shellyboo

You can't get on with everybody 100% of the time. Everybody has things about themselves that are annoying to even your very bestest of best friends; and likewise there are things that annoy us about our very bestest of best friends. A bit of a moan or a vent about xyz to another good friend - who understands the situation, the annoyance, and is aware that you're only venting - is no harm, imo.

Spreading lies, malicious rumours, putting someone down, trying to poison someone against someone else - that's not what friends do. But I don't think all discussion of other people when not in their presence is "bitching".

Caveat

I have to say that although guys do it, I really think women are worse.

IME some women can often do this as a matter of routine but men are more likely to do it for a specific reason - e.g. the person has done something or something has happened.

Having said that, I often prefer the company of women so it's a bit contradictory.

Malari

shellyboo wrote: »

You can't get on with everybody 100% of the time. Everybody has things about themselves that are annoying to even your very bestest of best friends; and likewise there are things that annoy us about our very bestest of best friends. A bit of a moan or a vent about xyz to another good friend - who understands the situation, the annoyance, and is aware that you're only venting - is no harm, imo.

Spreading lies, malicious rumours, putting someone down, trying to poison someone against someone else - that's not what friends do. But I don't think all discussion of other people when not in their presence is "bitching".

I agree with this. It's human nature to complain about other people. As long as you do it in a way that the other person doesn't find out or get hurt.

And I'm not just agreeing with Shelly cos she's my sooper lurve match

liah

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

from what i've seen, most girls who "only" hang out with girls actually just get off on the attention they get from there male friends, and don't like that female friends dont kiss their asses or suck up to them they way guy friends do.

Uhh, what are you basing that on, exactly?

The majority of my friends are male. You know why? Because I get along with their mentality better. I play videogames, am into computers, love subtitled horror movies, play guitar and am pretty into music in general. I grew up in the country working at a barn in jeans and a ponytail 24/7. I don't get girls. I don't do the shopping thing or the makeup thing or the hair thing, at least not to the extent other girls do. I don't do gossip or chit-chat or watch America's Next Top Model or think The Notebook is a good movie (I hate chick flicks). There's a handful of girls who are like me-- I can only really think of three off the top of my head in my rather large circle of friends-- but for the most part, I find being in the company of girls exhausting and draining. I just can't keep up with how girls talk. I've never been able to.

I get along with guys not because I want attention or want them to suck up to me or enjoy it if they do. I get along with guys because they tend to be more laid back and talk about things I've a bigger interest in. Believe whatever the hell you want, but I'm telling you it's bs.

vicecreamsundae

liah wrote: »

Uhh, what are you basing that on, exactly?

The majority of my friends are male. You know why? Because I get along with their mentality better. I play videogames, am into computers, love subtitled horror movies, play guitar and am pretty into music in general. I grew up in the country working at a barn in jeans and a ponytail 24/7. I don't get girls. I don't do the shopping thing or the makeup thing or the hair thing, at least not to the extent other girls do. I don't do gossip or chit-chat or watch America's Next Top Model or think The Notebook is a good movie (I hate chick flicks). There's a handful of girls who are like me-- I can only really think of three off the top of my head in my rather large circle of friends-- but for the most part, I find being in the company of girls exhausting and draining. I just can't keep up with how girls talk. I've never been able to.

I get along with guys not because I want attention or want them to suck up to me or enjoy it if they do. I get along with guys because they tend to be more laid back and talk about things I've a bigger interest in. Believe whatever the hell you want, but I'm telling you it's bs.

i didn't say all girls who hang out with guys do it for that reason, i certainly know i don't. and i mentioned that some girls just identify with men better. i'm talking about a number of girls who I KNOW, not you.

but i would say that actually you're not thaaat special for being a girl who doesnt like ANTM or the notebook or reading gossip mags -plenty of women don't live up to those stereotypes. all my favourite female friends are super into their music, and i know plenty who play videogames etc.

i'm not putting you or your friends down, and if you dont meet many girls with the same interests as you, fair enough. i was commenting how some girls have a bias against making female friends in the first place.

liah

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

i didn't say all girls who hang out with guys do it for that reason, i certainly know i don't. and i mentioned that some girls just identify with men better. i'm talking about a number of girls who I KNOW, not you.

but i would say that actually you're not thaaat special for being a girl who doesnt like ANTM or the notebook or reading gossip mags -plenty of women don't live up to those stereotypes. all my favourite female friends are super into their music, and i know plenty who play videogames etc.

i'm not putting you or your friends down, and if you dont meet many girls with the same interests as you, fair enough. i was commenting how some girls have a bias against making female friends in the first place.

You did say most girls.

And I never once said I thought I was special. But there really aren't that many girls I can relate to. I'm perfectly open to meeting girls but the majority of the ones I've met (at least since I've been in Ireland) are the proper girly types. I'm open to meeting anyone. It's just the girl mentality doesn't suit me. And the ones I've met who "play videogames" think playing Wii Sports makes them a "gamer grrrl" or think they love horror films 'cuz they adored The Grudge. Meh. I don't know. Overall most of the girls I've met have been exhausting, gossipy, competitive, and tbh, a bit fake. There's a handful I get along with but it's certainly a minority case. I give everyone an equal chance, but I don't like it when people assume I've only got guy friends because I want attention or am biased against other girls. Not my fault they don't agree with my personality type.

vicecreamsundae

liah wrote: »

You did say most girls.

And I never once said I thought I was special. But there really aren't that many girls I can relate to. I'm perfectly open to meeting girls but the majority of the ones I've met (at least since I've been in Ireland) are the proper girly types. I'm open to meeting anyone. It's just the girl mentality doesn't suit me. And the ones I've met who "play videogames" think playing Wii Sports makes them a "gamer grrrl" or think they love horror films 'cuz they adored The Grudge. Meh. I don't know. Overall most of the girls I've met have been exhausting, gossipy, competitive, and tbh, a bit fake. There's a handful I get along with but it's certainly a minority case. I give everyone an equal chance, but I don't like it when people assume I've only got guy friends because I want attention or am biased against other girls. Not my fault they don't agree with my personality type.

i never made any assumptions about you. in my original post i said some girls just identify more with guys, and that seems to be what you are saying too. i was talking about girls I KNOW, who don't seem to want to admit that the reason their guy friends happen to be nicer to them than their girlfriends, is because the male friends fancy them and suck up to them and treat them in a way female friends don't.

i can't argue about the girls you have met who nearly all happen to be "exhausting,gossipy and a bit fake", but i do think that's a really negative stereotype - the girls i am friends with are nothing like that at all. maybe i'm just extremely lucky, or maybe women actually come in just as much a variety as men, with just as good character traits.