The Breast Feeding Support Thread

How Strange

annamcmahon wrote: »

Dublinlady, if you live near Liffey Valley a group of us meet for coffee and mama to mama support and a chat in Starbucks every Thursday from 11-1pm. It really helped my confidence when feeding in public because I surrounded by other ladies feeding their babies. Feel free to pop along anytime if you like.

Hey annamcmahon we might have met in real life because my son and I used to go up to last sept when I went back to work. Small world!

How Strange

dublinlady look up friendsofbteastfeeding website as they have a list of all the groups, coffee mornings etc by county.

I certainly wasn't brave enough all the time like when I went into work to discuss my return I brought a bottle of expressed milk. There have been a few times like that where I brought the expressed milk as a backup.

I'm glad ciudiu were helpful and supportive. My son fed every two hours up to 5 months so I always had to consider that if I was going somewhere during the day.

ck83

Cat Melodeon wrote: »

I have a bit of a problem. My girl is 4 and a half months now. We're going to a wedding at the start of May and we'll be leaving her and her brother with their grandparents overnight. There is no way we can bring them with us, nor can we afford to have the grandparents come with us as stay-over babysitters. For the past 2 weeks I've been expressing and trying to get herself to take a bottle. I've tried every bottle - avent (same as her soother), tommee tippee, dr brown, nuk - you name it, we've tried it. She simply won't suck on anything that isn't me. She has a tongue tie that isn't helping.

We've tried all the tricks I know - different times, different levels of hunger, me doing it, husband doing it. Half an hour of struggle results in about a teaspoonful of ebm taken and she now screams in temper if she as much as sees a bottle. If it wasn't for this wedding, I wouldn't be bothered as I've no intention in weaning her until she's at least a year old. But her gran has to be able to feed her for 36 hrs and she'll only be starting with solids around then.

Any ideas? We could try spoon feeding or using a syringe, but that's a bit unpleasant for her and fiddly for her gran. The 'What to expect' book talks about introducing a cup around now. Has anyone done that this early? I'm at my wits' end, any tips would be much appreciated!

I know this is a few days old, but it caught my eye. Said I'd pass on my tuppence worth! Medela do a bottle I think, that's suppose to mimic a nipple- might be worth a try. Think I saw it in boots. Secondly- have you looked into getting that Tongue tie snipped? My little man had it done, and it seemed quite pain free. On the other hand, if she's been managing to b/feed ok for this long, maybe the tongue tie isn't that severe? Might be worth looking into anyhow.

red fraggle

on the topic of bringin expressed milk. my little one wont drink it cold/room temp yet. any ideas? also how do you know how much they will want. sometimes she would take 6 oz and others 9 oz!:eek: and she will scream oif she doesnt get the amount she wants!! i suppose i could try feed her before she looks for it and might not look for ant mpore then.

anyway we are going shopping with my sister tomorrow and im just bringing myself so if she needs a feed i will have to brave it!!:eek::o any ideas? i know i can go back to the car if needed. wouldnt really know where to go.

dublinlady hope u manage to get her off the shields. ya prob wont know yourself:) u said ur little one now realises ur at the end of the boob:p does she look at u? my little one might look up but mostly her eyes are closed and seems like shes asleep!! :rolleyes:little messer. she does hold onto my top tightly or put her hand on my boob which is so cute:D

How Strange

I'd say try go somewhere that you can have a bit of privacy like in a coffee shop sit in a quiet corner. That way you won't be so nervous about people looking at you. Wear a string vest under your top so you pull the top up, the vest down and you should be able to latch your little one on without flashing your flesh.

Just focus on your baba and don't worry about people around you.

ck83

red fraggle wrote: »

on the topic of bringin expressed milk. my little one wont drink it cold/room temp yet. any ideas? also how do you know how much they will want. sometimes she would take 6 oz and others 9 oz!:eek: and she will scream oif she doesnt get the amount she wants!! i suppose i could try feed her before she looks for it and might not look for ant mpore then.

anyway we are going shopping with my sister tomorrow and im just bringing myself so if she needs a feed i will have to brave it!!:eek::o any ideas? i know i can go back to the car if needed. wouldnt really know where to go.

dublinlady hope u manage to get her off the shields. ya prob wont know yourself:) u said ur little one now realises ur at the end of the boob:p does she look at u? my little one might look up but mostly her eyes are closed and seems like shes asleep!! :rolleyes:little messer. she does hold onto my top tightly or put her hand on my boob which is so cute:D

Where are you going shopping? I know some places have rooms for feeding babies- boots and bt in cork have them, as does Mahon point. I'm sure there's similar facilities in other towns/cities!

How Strange

I only ever went to dedicated feeding rooms like the fab one in dundrum shopping centre. I thought the ones which are changing rooms with a token plastic chair in the corner were horrible because they stink of dirty nappies. I found them so depressing.

dublinlady

Going to dundrum! Where is this room?! What's it like? Now I'm just curious!!

Apparently Starbucks and the m&s cafe are good choices too!

I didn't know places did feeding rooms at all!!

Red - she just sometimes stares at me - although this is rare - mostly her eyes are in a half closed haze!!

I made a serious rookie error earlier... I ate two oranges one after another... Totally forgot about citrus fruits being bad.... She's been roaring for 4 hrs now - only relief she/I get is when she's on my breast do for tonight she can feed as much as she likes and I won't complain cos it's quiet!! Feel so bad... She's really sore hope it doesn't last much longer - think she's overtired now which isn't helpful! I've decided to get into bed with her and just try feed her on and off until she's able to sleep... Oops won't do that again!

annamcmahon

Dublinlady the feeding room in Dundrum is on the Mezz level which is one the customer information desk is on. I agree with How Strange that it is lovely. Word of warning though re the changing room in the same area they are adults toilets in the changing area but are only ordinary sized cubicles so not big enough for a buggy for some stupid reason. There are family rooms with a changing table and a toilet by the general toilets on the other levels though.

How Strange, I think I started going in Sep so maybe we did. It's a really smart place to meet and keeps me sane some weeks.

red fraggle

ck83 wrote: »

Where are you going shopping? I know some places have rooms for feeding babies- boots and bt in cork have them, as does Mahon point. I'm sure there's similar facilities in other towns/cities!

wexford!! think we are a bit behind the times!!:rolleyes: a feedin room would be great

Little My

Cafes with a bit of space are great but I haven't found many places in Galway good for breastfeeding.

As my baby has got older I actually find it a lot harder feeding him out and about as he is so wriggly he is much more likely to expose me than when he was a newborn.

Agree with the strappy vest thing, teeshirt up and vest down means no one can really see anything. Feed a baby a few times out and you will get a lot more confident.

ck83

red fraggle wrote: »

ck83 wrote: »

Where are you going shopping? I know some places have rooms for feeding babies- boots and bt in cork have them, as does Mahon point. I'm sure there's similar facilities in other towns/cities!

wexford!! think we are a bit behind the times!!:rolleyes: a feedin room would be great

I lived in Wexford for a few years, but they were pre- mammy times, when feeding rooms were not a priority! I wouldn't imagine there is any really! If you went for a coffee somewhere like the Talbot, you might manage to find a quiet corner where you won't feel too conspicuous! I got a boob hoodie - I always wear it when I'm out and about, makes it so much easier to feed discreetly. It was such a good investment!

Future Baby

red fraggle wrote: »

my little one might look up but mostly her eyes are closed and seems like shes asleep!! :rolleyes:little messer. she does hold onto my top tightly or put her hand on my boob which is so cute:D

My little fellow is doing this now, which I think is so cute. Ended up having to go home to my own Mammy for some TLC this week, as the doctor said I am so run down, hence breaking out with coldsores, ended up having to get antivirals in the doctors for it, nearly cleared up already. So nice to get Mammy's dinners, and not having to worry about cleaning my own house for a few days. Sometimes I wish I lived closer to family as they would be such a great help to me.

Loads of people came to see my little man in my Mam's I swear she was selling tickets for people to see him But if one more person said to me that I looked so rundown and to give up the breastfeeding I was going to scream, they go ah ur very good to do it for so long, (14 weeks on Sunday) and now should just give him formula! I didnt think I would have so many people against breastfeeding, sure I get more of a rest when I have to sit / lie down to feed him where if he was on a bottle you would be just shoving it into his mouth.

Have many of ye out there experianced this about people telling you that you should give it up, that they think you are been very restricted with having to schedule visits, shopping around the babies feeds!

How Strange

Future Baby people mean well but it gets very irritating very quickly. What can you say? I just nodded, hmmed in agreement and carried on as I liked. The problem is most Irish women over 50 have no experience of breastfeeding. As I said they mean well so just let it go over your head.

I was also very rundown at times too and I took sona multivitamins (without ginseng which apparently you can't take while breastfeeding) and spatone iron supplement which was very easy on my tummy and didn't cause cramps etc. I took them from 3-6 months and again from 7-9 months and 11-12 months. You're sleep deprived and recovering from childbirth but I really don't think breastfeed runs you down as long as you have a healthy balanced diet.

galah

Future Baby wrote: »

Have many of ye out there experianced this about people telling you that you should give it up, that they think you are been very restricted with having to schedule visits, shopping around the babies feeds!

but with the bottle, you'd still have the same prob - your still scheduling around baby's feeds, etc - I don't see the difference, you are just as restricted? Plus bottles during the day are so much more faffy than breastfeeding - why don't people get that?

I've braved feeding in public a couple of times now - and it gets less scary every time you do it (the most awkward places yet were in the car in the cemetary right after a funeral, and in the church parking lot sitting on the kerb hidden behind a big SUV...:eek:) - and we're still on the nipple shields plus a very wiggly distracted baby. but it works, and usually, you only think people are looking, but they're not, really...dont think many people care, unless you make a big hoo-ha out of it and attract attention...

Lola92

red fraggle wrote: »

wexford!! think we are a bit behind the times!!:rolleyes: a feedin room would be great

Red Fraggle, there are very few places good for bf in Wexford unfortunately, and no dedicated feeding rooms that I know of. I would really recommenf Fusion Cafe on Selskar Street though. The woman that owns it is lovely, it is quiet, kid friendly and good coffee!!! (even decaf ) There is no baby changing area unfortunately though. O'Briens at Redmond Square is good too but very busy at times. There is a changing table in the ladies toilet.

The Berry and Bean beside Argos is okay, staff not overly helpful but they have a proper baby changing station downstairs and it isn't too busy. I would try Blasta Cafe beside the bullring. I havn't been myself but my bf has said it is lovely, busy at lunchtimes etc. but nice food and good coffee. Hope that helps some! Wexford people aren't generally the best with bf that I have experienced but nothing has ever been said to me, worst was a few stares returned with a big smile and 'can I help you?' Usually clears them off sharpish

wmpdd3

I looked so rundown and to give up the breastfeeding I was going to scream, they go ah ur very good to do it for so long, (14 weeks on Sunday) and now should just give him formula! I didnt think I would have so many people against breastfeeding, sure I get more of a rest when I have to sit / lie down to feed him where if he was on a bottle you would be just shoving it into his mouth.

its hilarious isnt, i get this from my mother and her friends, even one person said: 'shure, its couldn't be good for a woman who's only after having a baby!!!

funny thing is, my partners 84 yr old grandmother puts them in their place! its just a generational thing...


dublin lady, i used nipple shields from 6 days old till 8 weeks old.

my baby still wont open his mouth wide enough to feed and the nipple on my right is a bit off center (other than this i am a normal person!!)

all i did was try him without the shields every day once on each side, one day he just latched.....

at 8 weeks he is just able to keep repositioning him self until he's on, i dont really do anything, my fella the opposite, he always brings up formula but never b/milk!

dublinlady

I'm def gonna try it! It's such a pain using the shields! Well I braved dundrum today and ate at that place near the entrance to the toilets on the middle floor near the information desk - cant remember the name! It was perfect however would be so much easier if I didn't have to fuss with the shields!!
She's so erratic with the puking - it's about 70% of the time , but sometimes she just falls asleep after!!
I had my bottle of expressed milk with me in a cooler bag and I felt great havin it there as a back up - I don't think I'll ever go without one!

Mission for the week... Shield removal...!!

Oh my big news is we got smiles today!! Fantastic!!!

annamcmahon

That's brilliant Dublinlady.

wmpdd3

Hey, dl, i was in the middle of feeding baby a few weeks aggo when the posttman came and i just pulled down my top and answered the door with the shield still on. So i had one massive nipple and one normal one. Poor man didnt knot where to look

galah

teeheehee, happened to me the other day as well - thought I'd be smart and put the nipple shield on in the bathroom of a restaurant, so I could then discretely latch E on - didnt realise how MUCH these shields actually poke through the shirt. Must have looked a right state...:D

At this stage, I think we'll just continue with the bloody shields until I stop breastfeeding - it's just such a struggle to try and get him off them...:o

Future Baby

I'm going to keep it up for another while, I set goals for myself, my next one is to get to 6months, and we will take it from there then. My first time braving feeding him was in Ikea in the car the other week I did it again in the Car in Whitewater, only for a secuity fellow to stick his head up to the window, I was embarrased for him, as he went pure red, least I know my car is safe in there, douth he will forget mine!

Went out for the first time last night with my other half for a few hours to a 21st, really beginning to feel my age now, wrecked.com today! Was up and dressed but since have changed back into my PJ's if anyone calls, I will say he just puked on me and it was the first thing I grabbed.

The little fecker slept for the whole night for the babysitter, ten minutes after she left he woke looking to play, then to be fed and two of us fell fast asleep till 6am in the bed, fecker kicked his poor daddy into the spear room.

red fraggle

dl congrats on the smiles!!!

thanks for all tips guys. turned out she was ready for a feed when we got to wexford. fed her in the car. then later i was going to feed her in a restaurant but she didnt wake til we got back to the car. she was very good

i do get a few comments of oh maybe shes more hungry and u need to start formula!!! my grannies think its great and dont say anything negative. oh and we were at mass today and i sing on the choir. i mentioned e might be hungry and one of the middle aged women said well feed her away and dont think about leavin. e fell asleep tho but i prob would have fed her as i could have done it wit no one realising!!!

foxinsocks

So annoying when people tell you your breastmilk isn't enough and you should switch to formula! Especially when your milk is far more full of nutrients. Ok, formula can be more 'filling' for longer, but only because its harder to digest, not because they are getting any more of what they actually need. And personally I would think that breast feeding is far more flexible than bottles. For example, the other day i popped to the shops for bread and milk and bumped into a friend i hadn't seen in a while. She asked if i wanted to go for a coffee. Izzy was due a feed, and if she was formula fed I'd have had to go home with her. Instead I had everything I needed to feed her right there. Plus a yummy latte for me! I know that some people are squeamish about feeding when out and about, but personally I genuinely don't care what a bunch of people I don't know or care about think of what i'm doing.

It is hard when your friends or family think they are helping though. I'm lucky that everyone I care about has been supportive (or if they aren't, they haven't told me)

A few years ago I heard a saying which I try to remember: "You would worry less about what people think of you if you realised how seldom they did"

dublinlady

I'm the first one out of all of my friends to have a baby, and the only one of my family who had a baby is my Sis in law who would leave the room to breast feed. As a result she only lasted a few weeks at it. I don't want to have to hide and I don't think I should have to, most situations I'd be comfortable to feed in - but there are a few I won't, very few tho!
I feel I have to set the standard amongst my friends and other sisters and sisters in law so that when it's time for them to have babies they will feel comfortable doing it as i did it! I think I find it hard as none of my friends or family are used to seeing ppl breast feed, so it's been a little awkward - but once I say - this is what I'm doing, it's the best thing for my baby so deal with it as you or your wife will prob end up doing it to - generally they are just glad to be told how to deal with it! My brothers in particular - kept trying to leave the room at every feed - I am discrete and use a scarf when they around so told them to cop on or I'd whip the scarf off altogether! Frightened them into submission!!!

No joy getting her off the shields - she gets sooooo angry...... She's very bossy and stubborn... Wonder where she gets theat from...!!!

red fraggle

dublinlady wrote: »

I'm the first one out of all of my friends to have a baby, and the only one of my family who had a baby is my Sis in law who would leave the room to breast feed. As a result she only lasted a few weeks at it. I don't want to have to hide and I don't think I should have to, most situations I'd be comfortable to feed in - but there are a few I won't, very few tho!
I feel I have to set the standard amongst my friends and other sisters and sisters in law so that when it's time for them to have babies they will feel comfortable doing it as i did it! I think I find it hard as none of my friends or family are used to seeing ppl breast feed, so it's been a little awkward - but once I say - this is what I'm doing, it's the best thing for my baby so deal with it as you or your wife will prob end up doing it to - generally they are just glad to be told how to deal with it! My brothers in particular - kept trying to leave the room at every feed - I am discrete and use a scarf when they around so told them to cop on or I'd whip the scarf off altogether! Frightened them into submission!!!

No joy getting her off the shields - she gets sooooo angry...... She's very bossy and stubborn... Wonder where she gets theat from...!!!

same hear dublinlady. im the first in the family and among my friends to have a baby. ive no prob feedin in front of them with a scarf over me but i like to latch her on on my own. not entirely confident letting her do it herself without me looking:o sometimes i cover us both so i know shes on and then take my head out:rolleyes:( think im afraid of her hurting me!) in fairness no one in my family have any problems.unless they just dont say. my younger brothers felt a bit wierd first but now they dont care. i have cousins about age 9 and not sure bout feeding in front of them. maybe thats just cos of the questions i might get:p

i also have an angry stubborn little one if she doesnt get fed THE EXACT MINUTE she wants to. my mother cant believe the wat she screams!!:rolleyes::D i can imagine its hard to get her off the shields if she screams like my one does! try stick at it tho and ya wont know yourself once shes off them!

wmpdd3

my little fella screams too, its like he knows im there and i just wont feed him. you'd be surprised how long the 3 seconds it takes to lower a top and open a bra, feel like when he is screaming. i was at a kids party on sat and one of the mums was feeding a baby the same age as mine, she went to the spare room to feed hers, while i had to stay around to keep an eye on my loopy 18month old. by the end of the day, she was feeding with the rest of us and loving it.

we nearly fell over laughing when one of the toddlers asked 'why is your baby licking
you?

guys with shields, stick it out till 8/9 weeks according to everywhere i read, all babies can latch by then.

by the way what ones do you use, i tried them all:

mams- perfect, really thin and non shiny
tommee tippee - pure torture, the ribs in the nipple nearly had me in tears
avent - second best, nice shape, non shiny too
medulla- uncomfortable, the shield stuck to my skin even when i used b/milk to keep it in place
tesco - fine, lovely shape nipple, handy steriliser case

Quirkygirl

Hi folks not sure if this is the right place for this, but Im on maternity leave with 2nd baby and breastfed exclusive for 3and 1/2 months and fed daughter for 5 months. I'm sad now that I didn't have a thread like this for support I felt v isolated and things were hard. I felt under constant pressure and scrutiny from people to put baby on bottle. If I mentioned any problem with baby or me to anyone the breastfeeding was blamed. I went to phn for 3 month check up and she said his weight was under the average and she really scared me. She told me to go home and give him formula. I did this. And cried a lot. I'm crying as I write this now. I was devastated having to stop but I was tortured with guilt that he was hungry as he was a bit whingy and crying at times. But on reflection I think he was going through a growth spurt. And I think phn could have supported me better. This morning I watched Ireland am. They are doing bump to baby and had some mums on talking aboutfeeding. I don't know if anyone saw it but i felt it was v negative about feeding. The gp that was talking I felt was basically negative. She mentioned the positives but said that a lot of women have done their bit for 9 months carrying baby and then giving birth and its enough. For me it's this attitude that's caused us to lose a generation of breastfeeders. I hope to have more children and I hope and pray that I'll be able to feed longer than I did with my little darling son. It was a difficult but really beautiful time in my life. More tears. Night night girls

ck83

Quirkygirl wrote: »

Hi folks not sure if this is the right place for this, but Im on maternity leave with 2nd baby and breastfed exclusive for 3and 1/2 months and fed daughter for 5 months. I'm sad now that I didn't have a thread like this for support I felt v isolated and things were hard. I felt under constant pressure and scrutiny from people to put baby on bottle. If I mentioned any problem with baby or me to anyone the breastfeeding was blamed. I went to phn for 3 month check up and she said his weight was under the average and she really scared me. She told me to go home and give him formula. I did this. And cried a lot. I'm crying as I write this now. I was devastated having to stop but I was tortured with guilt that he was hungry as he was a bit whingy and crying at times. But on reflection I think he was going through a growth spurt. And I think phn could have supported me better. This morning I watched Ireland am. They are doing bump to baby and had some mums on talking aboutfeeding. I don't know if anyone saw it but i felt it was v negative about feeding. The gp that was talking I felt was basically negative. She mentioned the positives but said that a lot of women have done their bit for 9 months carrying baby and then giving birth and its enough. For me it's this attitude that's caused us to lose a generation of breastfeeders. I hope to have more children and I hope and pray that I'll be able to feed longer than I did with my little darling son. It was a difficult but really beautiful time in my life. More tears. Night night girls

Hi quirky girl.
Firstly don't you dare feel guilty, or be upset. You gave your babies such a good start in life by breastfeeding.
The attitude of health professionals, and indeed society in this country is a huge problem. It makes me so angry, especially when I hear stories like yours. Colm Hayes did a slot on breastfeeding on 2fm a couple of weeks ago, and I felt he was very negative too.
I believe that every mother to be who wants to b/feed should be put in touch with a lactation consultant before giving birth, so they can get some info, and have a contact point for the early weeks/months when b/feeding.
Theres a reason this country has the lowest b/feeding rate in Europe, and poor support is it, as far as I'm concerned. I do think though, that by feeding your babies for as long as you did, youll have helped to demonstrate to friends and family how good a thing it is to do. I know that a few of my friends have said they'd never have thought about doing it, but having seen me (I'm the first in my circle to have a baby), they'll def give it a try. And you will have your experiences to help them learn from

wmpdd3

That really makes me sad to read that. I dont know how i would have survived without the internet in general. All the books they give you in the hospital are crap, you need to hear actual experiences. My sister in law is a hosppital and phn's nightmare, now i know why. She gave me a weight chart for a breastfed baby and told me to ignore what the phn said. She has 4 perfect kids who were all b/fed. Its mad that we even have to do this. I still get upset when in think i gave up on b/feeding my first as she couldnt latch, but overcame that problem this time.