Good Manners & Chivalry - Are They Dead?

Bonito

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Biggins wrote: »

We luv each other yet again!
More huggies please!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v386/DickSteele/huggies-Republican.jpg

brummytom

A lot of girls seem to think Chivalry has some kind of ulterior motive behind it. I always hold doors open for people, be it man, woman or cat. It's just manners. It's worst a mass when you hold the door open for one old biddy behind you and half the congregation rush out.. Jesus Christ.

Anyway, yeah, ulterior motive: I was out last weekend, there was about twenty of us. Me and this one girl walked on ahead of everyone else. It was bitterly cold, and she was in just a top and fairly short skirt, and was complaining of being cold. I had a good few layers on, and had my coat over my arm because I was warm, so I offered it to her.

But she seemed to take that as some kind of flirting thing? And it wasn't because she's going out with my mate for a start, she just genuinely looked cold and I didn't want her freezing to death - yet she still wouldn't accept my coat?


Anyway, chivalry's not dead, some girls are just ungrateful bitches

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

scareydoll wrote: »

Whatever you're into:rolleyes:

LOL
Read the Second marriage theme thread.

bazmaiden

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

alwaysadub wrote: »

I've no problem with someone holding a door open for me,as i do it for people too and think it's just good manners.
If someone got up though and offered me their seat i'd probably be offended as a) im not old(well not very) and b) i'm not pregnant nor do i look pregnant(i hope!)

God help the guys that make this mistake, i've seen it happen a couple of times.

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Also my inspiration for the thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNdfdQvdVc

Precious flower

I always say thanks to a person who holds a door open for me, I think it's nice and shows their thinking of other people besides themselves. I hold doors open for people too because I think it's a small gesture of kindness you can do most days! Forgot that woman, she doesn't represent the female species and anyway Karma will get her!

gagiteebo

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

I think you did a decent thing and she was just being an ould bitch!

As a woman, I like when men hold doors open, pull out your seat etc, maybe I'm old fashioned. I know women who get up on their high horse when men do this and it's ridiculous. It's basic good manners as well. It doesn't mean women are the weaker sex or that the man wants to get into you pants, it's just manners.

I've often held the door open for someone only for them to completely ignore me (nearly always women too might I add). They're rude and ignorant, leave them go there....

1071823928

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

i hate people like that, shes just an ignorant wagon!
i absolutely love it when fellas hold doors open and things like that, i just love it, i think its great!!

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

* I hold doors open for ladies, old folk, wheelchairs and buggies and pregnant ladies to same just a few.
* I stand in some cases when a lady enters the room or is at a restaurant.
* I walk on the outside of the path when accompanying my wife and/or children (this trad' comes from a safety issue).
* When I enter a shop and/or is at a counter, I take off my cap, especially at banks. I remove any dark glasses I might have been wearing too (it puts people at ease and I find folk are always more open to me for it).
* I offer up my seat when the situation is right.
Loads more...

Am I doing anything special? NO.

Its just good manners and if the rest of the world would treat each other with a little more similar, there might be hope for humanity more so.
Don't care if I am a dying breed, I'll go down holding a door open!

Latchy

When I walk into bank ,shop or building , the person on the way out usually holds door open for me to enter . On the way out I do same thing for person entering , it's the natural order of things , we are not doing anything special .It's the right thing for '' everybody '' to do for anybody , anytime , all the time . It's part and part of normal everyday human interaction .

Sea Sharp

Yes and it's Men who are to blame.

If I have to listen to Beyonce prancing around sh1ting on about independence then you can open your own fucking jar of jam.

hitlersson666

Yes and it's Men who are to blame.

tis dead

dlofnep

You should have called her fat.

Soil Mechanic

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

OutlawPete

Unfortunate when that happens but in all honesty - get over it mate.

It not like she has any obligation whatsoever to acknowledge you for something that she never asked you too do in the first instance...

Your expectation speaks volumes...as do some of the responses on this thread...

Speaking as a (albeit Ginger ) man who this happens too quite often, manners are something that you need to do for yourself, not because you seek gratification in return.
It shows your character -not a required response from the other person(s)

SM

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Soil Mechanic wrote: »

OutlawPete
Unfortunate when that happens but in all honesty - get over it mate.

I suspect he wasn't looking for gratification, he was just sharing his thoughts on poor rudeness of some people in the face of someone actually trying to be nice to them.
I also suspect Outlawpete would have thought to himself "Well stuff you misses" and carried on regardless, I would have.
It was the other persons loss (to be treated and thought of nicely).

Gyalist

I always hold doors open for whoever is following me but over the years I've noticed that Eastern Europeans (both men and women) never acknowledge it or if they are ahead of you, let the door swing back in your face. I can only guess that it's probably cultural.

cHaTbOx

Just because some people are rude it is not a reason to change your behaviour .

I was brought up with good manners and they cost nothing . I would rather show a bit of kindness than not.

If they don't appreciate it , it really is their problem .

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Soil Mechanic wrote: »

OutlawPete

Hello Soil Mechanic .. how are you?

vicecreamsundae

you said you often the hold doors open for people -couples, old people, small woodland creatures and the like, so you didn't just hold it open because she was a woman, correct?
why then do you consider her rudeness to be related to chivalry? if it was an elderly man who'd walked through the door without thanking you, would you be asking if chivalry is dead, or would you just be complaining that some people are rude?

are only women supposed to blush and whisper "thank you" when you do something pretty commonplace?

i'm one of those people who often get stuck holding a door open for a stream of people, out of my own bad habit, and i don't receive or expect to receive a grin or thanks from them all. when someone does, sure , it's nice. but like the lady you encountered said, nobody is asking you to hold that door.

maybe the lady you met was too shy to say thanks or was stressed and in her own world or just in an awful mood... and yeah, not reaching for the door or saying thanks is slightly rude, but in my opinion not half as rude as calling after her "excuse me! i don't work here you know!" and in that situation i think she was dead right to reply the way she did! i would have said the very same. [though okay, i actually would have just said thanks in the first place].

i am all for doing nice, helpful common things for people. i'll open doors, pick something up for someone if they drop it, offer a friend my jacket or scarf if they seem colder than i am... but i don't do these things based on gender. i do them for males and females. and that's why i have a problem with chivalry. it's not just "being a nice guy" because real nice guys do nice things for anyone. it's doing something for someone who has a vagina, as if only people with vaginas can't open their own doors. and the worst part about it, is that it's done with the intention of making the lady feel "grateful".

i think it's a mistake to confuse chivalry with the decent little things other humans do for other humans.

Herbal Deity

Chivalry is dead, and good fúcking riddance.

Manners are still alive, however.

I am nice to people regardless of gender.

Coriolanus

Where's the egalitarian "I am mannerly to all I come across, man or woman, until they earn my wrath, then I plot endlessly and futilely to bring about their downfall!" option? :mad:

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

why then do you consider her rudeness to be related to chivalry?

Did you not see this in the OP?

OutlawPete wrote: »

Or was she just plain rude? (both sexes can be guilty of that)

beanyb

Count me as another one that thinks holding doors open has nothing to do with chivalry. It's just plain old good manners! I hold doors open for people following me through it, and I think most people do the same, regardless of gender.

alanajane

Well personally speaking I love it when a man is chivilorous (is that a word?)towards me, I really appreciate it be it holding the door, giving me a seat or whatever. And I will always say thank you, its not lost on every woman. So a very big thank you to all ye gentlemen.

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

When we can't return a smile or a "thanks" for someone being nice to us, we really have become a sad person indeed.
Ok, we can all have our "off" days but rudeness is just that, rudeness and it shows a lack of respect for fellow human beings.
Coming out more so with an uncalled for rude remark only confirms the persons underlying true character.

Dudess

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

OutlawPete wrote: »

Or was she just plain rude? (both sexes can be guilty of that)

Bingo.

Have radical feminists actually done woman a disfavour?

Yep. And by god is it pounced upon.

Do you like it when a man stands up when you enter a room?

That to me is OTT - not because I think it's sexist, simply because I think it's too much fuss and I'm not into being fussed over by strangers. However, to offer up a seat for a very elderly person (not just woman) or a person who's injured/feeling ill, or a heavily pregnant woman - possibly with one or two children in tow - is just being considerate and thoughtful.

When it comes to far less extreme stuff, like holding doors, offering help carrying stuff etc, I'm very appreciative - it's just a nice, mannerly gesture, which I'd assume men would offer men as well as women. I also do the very same - it's not something that should be only specific to men (I appreciate men are generally stronger physically though, so that's obviously a factor when it comes to helping with carrying heavy stuff).
However, pulling out the chair before a meal, holding her coat, dashing 'round to open the taxi door - well I don't think these are sexist, but I do think they are REALLY cheesy and unnecessary...

Biggins wrote: »

* I hold doors open for ladies, old folk, wheelchairs and buggies and pregnant ladies to same just a few.

What about men though?

I'll go down holding a door open!

Raar! Is that what they're calling it nowadays...?! :pac:

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Dudess wrote: »

What about men though?

Same sometimes, old folk , the weak or infirm. Its the least I can do, thats all.

Raar! Is that what they're calling it nowadays...?

:pac:

Cheap Thrills!

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

At work the other day a man got caught holding a door open for 6 women that all marched through it gabbing away obliviously.

Not one of them said thanks. I was number 7, I expected him to swing it in my face after the brutal display of rudeness from the previous 6.

I sheepishly went through thanking him but feeling ashamed on behalf of womankind.

rubadub

vicecreamsundae wrote: »

why then do you consider her rudeness to be related to chivalry? if it was an elderly man who'd walked through the door without thanking you, would you be asking if chivalry is dead, or would you just be complaining that some people are rude?.

Thats what I was wondering too

OutlawPete wrote: »

Did you not see this in the OP?

I see that and still wonder would you have brought up chivalry for a man not saying thanks. I don't know why you are asking if chivalry is dead from that episode. If you were in the place and saw a man letting a door slam in a womans face then it might be reason to ask if chivalry is dead. You did open it so I do not see where the lack of chivalry is. Question is really if manners & common decency are a thing of the past.

Dudess

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

Biggins wrote: »

:pac:

Would you resort to pulling out though? A lot of women find that very irritating and uncomfortable.

We can pull out our own chairs thanks! :pac: