Good Manners & Chivalry - Are They Dead?

OutlawPete

In town (Dublin, is there another one ) this morning and as we came out of a dining establishment (Kingfisher) a woman* was just behind us so still chatting to who I was with, I was facing forward but my hand was still behind me holding the door.

I always do that out of instinct (for guys, couples, teenhttp://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=64895901s, small woodland creatures etc etc) and so was just waiting for the doors weight to be taken as she pressed her against it in turn (as most people do).

She didn't, she just sauntered through like she the stuck up cow that she was thinking the world revolved around her. No bags, no shopping, not on the phone, not lost in thought .. no excuses .. SHE just didn't want it done and you could tell.

So I said: "Eh Hello .. (she looked back) .. eh I don't work here", to which she replied: "I never asked you to hold to hold it open".

I just smiled and said: "Merry Christmas.. " and off she went on her merry way.

So, is Chivalry Dead?

Or was she just plain rude? (both sexes can be guilty of that)


Is Chivalry no longer a virtue?

Do women have an issue with guys being chivalrous?

Does it not have a place in today's sexual equality, has the female sexual revolution killed it?

Have radical feminists actually done woman a disfavour?


Good Manners

Do you think are dying?

Are men ruder than women?

Younger people getting ruder than older generations?


Ladies

Do you like it when a man stands up when you enter a room? Offers you their seat on the Luas? (etc etc)

Do chivalrous deeds make you feel uneasy? Are they indeed, sexist?


Guys

Are you confused these days about women actually want from you?

Did you used to be chivalrous but have now stopped because of reactions you have received?

Or do you just do what I do, be a gent and accept that there will always be the odd b****.


I'd like to dedicate this next track to the Kingfisher woman* with the tightly clenched rosebud

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxkNhi4hzZo

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Well the woman that WAS rude to you obviously didn't recognise good manners when it was presented to her. Her loss.

I'm old fashoned in some ways and in such thing like that, I'd do similar as yourself Outlawpete.
Fair play for keeping it up.

BigBenRoeth

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

She's just an ignorant cnut tbh

Bonito

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

TBH she sounds like an unappreciative cúnt. Next time before holding a door look back and slightly smile at the person heading towards the door behind you and then hold it. They'll pick up pace to exit and say thank you.

If they breeze past without even a nod of appreciation then shout up you're welcome. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of getting in to a bad mood over it.

UrbanSea

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

I hate when you open the door for someone and they walk by you as if your just not there.
Makes you angry as to why you bothered in the first place,especially if your waiting to a few seconds so the person can get to the door as they may be a few feet away.
Makes me want to invent a time machine and smash the door in their face.

bazmaiden

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

I hate when you hold the door open and then realise that the next person coming toward the door is just that little bit too far away and you're stuck there for that extra second looking like a tit.

But ye as a wise man once said

"if chivalry is dead, women killed it"

dcmu

Seriously, you're getting p!ssed off because someone walked through a door you held open?

Scarydoll

I always end up holding the door to places open. People in general are just arseholes. It has nothing to do with chivalry.

Bonito

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

dcmu wrote: »

Seriously, you're getting p!ssed off because someone walked through a door you held open?

She never said thank you.

Bonito

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

bazmaiden wrote: »

I hate when you hold the door open and then realise that the next person coming toward the door is just that little bit too far away and you're stuck there for that extra second looking like a tit.

But ye as a wise man once said

"if chivalry is dead, feminist nazis killed it"

FYP

The ladies appreciate the fuss of holding doors, giving up seats, giving them your jacket so their hair doesn't get messy and you get drowned.

bronte

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

Yer wan was a rude bish to be honest.
I don't think chivalry is dead at all.
I do like someone going to the trouble of holding a door or being wrapped in a coat at the end of the night. It just shows you care really.
I always hold doors for folk myself and 90% of the time it's appreciated.
I've noticed male friends of mine are sometimes afraid to offer to do something, almost as if they're anticipating I'll bite the head off them .
If someone loses the rag with you for having the audacity to hold a door for them, it pretty much tells you everything you need to know about that person. Consider it an idiot filter!

It's nice to be nice.

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

dcmu wrote: »

Seriously, you're getting p!ssed off because someone walked through a door you held open?

First of all, didn't get pissed off, just had a lovely meal and in the best of form.

Secondly, my issue is with her not ACKNOWLEDGING that I held the door for her with a quiet 'thanks', 'cheers'.

If someone holds a door for me I ALWAYS say thanks.

The only time I wouldn't is if someone holds a door for me when I am twenty feet away and makes me jog a little

But even then I do say thanks also, they just don't get a french kiss.

mikom

I gave up on Chivalry after it got me in trouble.
Since when was it wrong to open a door for a lady?
Well, it seems the cut off point is when the car is travelling at 80 mph

Westwood

Today I noticed a fine young mother with her new born leaving a cafe. I immediately stood to attention and held the door with a courteous smile and we both engaged in pleasantries for a moment giving each other the feel good factor.

bazmaiden

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

bronte wrote: »

It's nice to be nice.

+1

Abi

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

bronte wrote: »

Yer wan was a rude bish to be honest.
I don't think chivalry is dead at all.
I do like someone going to the trouble of holding a door or being wrapped in a coat at the end of the night. It just shows you care really.
I always hold doors for folk myself and 90% of the time it's appreciated.
I've noticed male friends of mine are sometimes afraid to offer to do something, almost as if they're anticipating I'll bite the head off them .
If someone loses the rag with you for having the audacity to hold a door for them, it pretty much tells you everything you need to know about that person. Consider it an idiot filter!

It's nice to be nice.

+1

And well said.

bronte

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

Abitar wrote: »

+1

And well said.

Let's get married! :pac:

Kasabian

"Woman walked through a door I was holding open" , boo hoo I must rush home and put up a thread and poll on boards , jeez man take a moment and realise the world is full of people who will take advantage





Edit :I don't care I am having a bad enough day

Bonito

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

lonad wrote: »

"Woman walked through a door I was holding open" , boo hoo I must rush home and put up a thread and poll on boards , jeez man take a moment and realise the world is full of people who will take advantage

No. Just, no.

bleg

Chivalry died out in the 1400s.

Kasabian

Bonito wrote: »

No. Just, no.

See above ^^^^^^^^^^

Abi

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

bronte wrote: »

Let's get married! :pac:

Ohh you


Lets to it! :pac:

lonad wrote: »

"Woman walked through a door I was holding open" , boo hoo I must rush home and put up a thread and poll on boards , jeez man take a moment and realise the world is full of people who will take advantage Edit :I don't care I am having a bad enough day

Take it out on the internet then, why don't you?

Kasabian

Abitar wrote: »

Ohh you


Lets to it! :pac:


Take it out on the internet then, why don't you?

Good point I need a walk

bazmaiden

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

lonad wrote: »

Good point I need a walk

You spelt **** wrong

Kasabian

bazmaiden wrote: »

You spelt **** wrong

Definately a walk

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

lonad wrote: »

"Woman walked through a door I was holding open" , boo hoo I must rush home and put up a thread and poll on boards , jeez man take a moment and realise the world is full of people who will take advantage

If you notice in the thread it said: "This morning", so nobody rushed anywhere.

Also, people start threads about things that occur in their lives, makes AH the great place that it is, just like yesterday's cool "Opposite Bike Guy" thread.

Why is your day so bad?

Who knows, maybe it'll make a good thread

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Abitar wrote: »

+1

And well said.

bronte wrote: »

Let's get married! :pac:

We luv each other yet again!
More huggies please!

banshee_bones

No, I just ignore the Feminists and be a Gent when I can.

I appreciate such gestures, i think you just happened to be unlucky and got a stupid selfish wench.

keep up the good work, maybe it will catch on

alwaysadub

Facekicker has the right idea.

I've no problem with someone holding a door open for me,as i do it for people too and think it's just good manners.
If someone got up though and offered me their seat i'd probably be offended as a) im not old(well not very) and b) i'm not pregnant nor do i look pregnant(i hope!)

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Biggins wrote: »

More huggies please!

Tongues ftw

Scarydoll

Biggins wrote: »

We luv each other yet again!
More huggies please!

Whatever you're into:rolleyes:

Bonito

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Biggins wrote: »

We luv each other yet again!
More huggies please!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v386/DickSteele/huggies-Republican.jpg

brummytom

A lot of girls seem to think Chivalry has some kind of ulterior motive behind it. I always hold doors open for people, be it man, woman or cat. It's just manners. It's worst a mass when you hold the door open for one old biddy behind you and half the congregation rush out.. Jesus Christ.

Anyway, yeah, ulterior motive: I was out last weekend, there was about twenty of us. Me and this one girl walked on ahead of everyone else. It was bitterly cold, and she was in just a top and fairly short skirt, and was complaining of being cold. I had a good few layers on, and had my coat over my arm because I was warm, so I offered it to her.

But she seemed to take that as some kind of flirting thing? And it wasn't because she's going out with my mate for a start, she just genuinely looked cold and I didn't want her freezing to death - yet she still wouldn't accept my coat?


Anyway, chivalry's not dead, some girls are just ungrateful bitches

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

scareydoll wrote: »

Whatever you're into:rolleyes:

LOL
Read the Second marriage theme thread.

bazmaiden

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

alwaysadub wrote: »

I've no problem with someone holding a door open for me,as i do it for people too and think it's just good manners.
If someone got up though and offered me their seat i'd probably be offended as a) im not old(well not very) and b) i'm not pregnant nor do i look pregnant(i hope!)

God help the guys that make this mistake, i've seen it happen a couple of times.

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Also my inspiration for the thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNdfdQvdVc

Precious flower

I always say thanks to a person who holds a door open for me, I think it's nice and shows their thinking of other people besides themselves. I hold doors open for people too because I think it's a small gesture of kindness you can do most days! Forgot that woman, she doesn't represent the female species and anyway Karma will get her!

gagiteebo

I find women to be very Rude in general tbh, far worse than men.

I think you did a decent thing and she was just being an ould bitch!

As a woman, I like when men hold doors open, pull out your seat etc, maybe I'm old fashioned. I know women who get up on their high horse when men do this and it's ridiculous. It's basic good manners as well. It doesn't mean women are the weaker sex or that the man wants to get into you pants, it's just manners.

I've often held the door open for someone only for them to completely ignore me (nearly always women too might I add). They're rude and ignorant, leave them go there....

1071823928

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

i hate people like that, shes just an ignorant wagon!
i absolutely love it when fellas hold doors open and things like that, i just love it, i think its great!!

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

* I hold doors open for ladies, old folk, wheelchairs and buggies and pregnant ladies to same just a few.
* I stand in some cases when a lady enters the room or is at a restaurant.
* I walk on the outside of the path when accompanying my wife and/or children (this trad' comes from a safety issue).
* When I enter a shop and/or is at a counter, I take off my cap, especially at banks. I remove any dark glasses I might have been wearing too (it puts people at ease and I find folk are always more open to me for it).
* I offer up my seat when the situation is right.
Loads more...

Am I doing anything special? NO.

Its just good manners and if the rest of the world would treat each other with a little more similar, there might be hope for humanity more so.
Don't care if I am a dying breed, I'll go down holding a door open!

Latchy

When I walk into bank ,shop or building , the person on the way out usually holds door open for me to enter . On the way out I do same thing for person entering , it's the natural order of things , we are not doing anything special .It's the right thing for '' everybody '' to do for anybody , anytime , all the time . It's part and part of normal everyday human interaction .

Sea Sharp

Yes and it's Men who are to blame.

If I have to listen to Beyonce prancing around sh1ting on about independence then you can open your own fucking jar of jam.

hitlersson666

Yes and it's Men who are to blame.

tis dead

dlofnep

You should have called her fat.

Soil Mechanic

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

OutlawPete

Unfortunate when that happens but in all honesty - get over it mate.

It not like she has any obligation whatsoever to acknowledge you for something that she never asked you too do in the first instance...

Your expectation speaks volumes...as do some of the responses on this thread...

Speaking as a (albeit Ginger ) man who this happens too quite often, manners are something that you need to do for yourself, not because you seek gratification in return.
It shows your character -not a required response from the other person(s)

SM

Biggins

No, I like Chivalrous Men and always did and always will.

Soil Mechanic wrote: »

OutlawPete
Unfortunate when that happens but in all honesty - get over it mate.

I suspect he wasn't looking for gratification, he was just sharing his thoughts on poor rudeness of some people in the face of someone actually trying to be nice to them.
I also suspect Outlawpete would have thought to himself "Well stuff you misses" and carried on regardless, I would have.
It was the other persons loss (to be treated and thought of nicely).

Gyalist

I always hold doors open for whoever is following me but over the years I've noticed that Eastern Europeans (both men and women) never acknowledge it or if they are ahead of you, let the door swing back in your face. I can only guess that it's probably cultural.

cHaTbOx

Just because some people are rude it is not a reason to change your behaviour .

I was brought up with good manners and they cost nothing . I would rather show a bit of kindness than not.

If they don't appreciate it , it really is their problem .

OutlawPete

Nonsense, I find that men today are arrogant bastards.

Soil Mechanic wrote: »

OutlawPete

Hello Soil Mechanic .. how are you?

vicecreamsundae

you said you often the hold doors open for people -couples, old people, small woodland creatures and the like, so you didn't just hold it open because she was a woman, correct?
why then do you consider her rudeness to be related to chivalry? if it was an elderly man who'd walked through the door without thanking you, would you be asking if chivalry is dead, or would you just be complaining that some people are rude?

are only women supposed to blush and whisper "thank you" when you do something pretty commonplace?

i'm one of those people who often get stuck holding a door open for a stream of people, out of my own bad habit, and i don't receive or expect to receive a grin or thanks from them all. when someone does, sure , it's nice. but like the lady you encountered said, nobody is asking you to hold that door.

maybe the lady you met was too shy to say thanks or was stressed and in her own world or just in an awful mood... and yeah, not reaching for the door or saying thanks is slightly rude, but in my opinion not half as rude as calling after her "excuse me! i don't work here you know!" and in that situation i think she was dead right to reply the way she did! i would have said the very same. [though okay, i actually would have just said thanks in the first place].

i am all for doing nice, helpful common things for people. i'll open doors, pick something up for someone if they drop it, offer a friend my jacket or scarf if they seem colder than i am... but i don't do these things based on gender. i do them for males and females. and that's why i have a problem with chivalry. it's not just "being a nice guy" because real nice guys do nice things for anyone. it's doing something for someone who has a vagina, as if only people with vaginas can't open their own doors. and the worst part about it, is that it's done with the intention of making the lady feel "grateful".

i think it's a mistake to confuse chivalry with the decent little things other humans do for other humans.

Herbal Deity

Chivalry is dead, and good fúcking riddance.

Manners are still alive, however.

I am nice to people regardless of gender.