Abortion .. but not the usual question

goose2005

cch wrote: »

Horrific simplistic generalisation coming up, but I think women are more compassionate and flexible in their opinion on this matter e.g. "well I'd like to think I'd never do it myself but I could understand if someone was in absolutely desperate circumstances why they would" and so not so many absolute arguments are thrown about on internet forums.
But for men it's more black and white.

But it IS black and white - the foetus is either human or not, killing it/him/her is either murder or it isn't. The "woman's comment" you made is a lazy copout.

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Because the idea that women might be entitled to make medical decisions for themselves tends to hit a nerve with many conservative men.

But anti-abortionists don't see it as a "medical decision", but as a serious crime.

WindSock

It's mostly a philosophical debate on when life begins. If pregnant women considering abortion were to engage in this debate, they would probably have given birth 5 times before they come to a decision.

IT-Guy

Novella wrote: »

I suppose at the end of the day a woman can decide to have an abortion whether or not the father of the child agrees with the decision. So perhaps it's a loss of power thing? Also, there seems to be a lot of, "Oh, men don't give a sh!t when it's an unplanned pregnancy", and a huge disregard of mens feelings concerning the subject.

Secondly, many women don't voice their feelings on abortion because they don't want to be judged for it etc. I'm sure there are a lot more women who have had abortions than who would openly admit it. There is still a stigma attached to abortion, it is still in many ways seen as immoral and heartless and just plain wrong. It can be hard for a woman to come out and say, "I've had an abortion", or, "Yeah, I support abortion.".
Perhaps it is just that little bit easier for a man to debate abortion because it will never physically be him having to deal with it.

This post is spot on, fair play Novella. I've come across that attitude before whereby some women instantly assume a man doesn't want anything to do with the pregnancy. In my eyes they're as responsible for the creation of the baby as the women is so man up and speak your mind, whether you want to keep the baby or not.

The second highlighted bit really hit home as I personally experienced this with an ex. At the time I was anti-abortion and quite vocal about it. She defended the right to have an abortion and I remember being really surprised by this as she had a child by her previous ex. Turned out after the first child her and the ex split, they had a drunken fling around Xmas time a few years later (ex was involved with the child's life and still on the scene as such) and ended up pregnant. Not wanting to have another child by her ex she made plans for the trip across the water, the ex went with her, he was a good guy thankfully. I remember her telling me she was scared sh**less to tell me as she knew how I felt about abortion. Took me a while to sort out what I felt, I couldn't reconcile the image I had in my head of someone who had an abortion with the woman I knew to be a good mother and loved for it, standing in front of me, crying her eyes out in fear of being dumped for having had an abortion.

Kinda brought home the huge difference between abstract and reality, she still remains the only woman I know to have had an abortion, the lesson learned there was her fear of saying it is probably shared by a lot more women than I'll ever know and not to judge people simply on having had an abortion. Totally changed my opinion on the right to have an abortion in this country.