Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Gremlinertia

Achey face and black eyes, and i can't go to work.. Rant rant.. However at least i've come to the decision that i'll be heading back to therapy sooner rather than later.

lukesmom

Just off phone to my doc upped my meds dosage so starting that tomorrow. Took a Xanax .5mg today was so bad this morning. Feel numb but better that feeling like I'm losing my mind. Have rang a counsellor and left a message so hopefully get a call back.

titan18

Just want to punch stuff. Awful day

lukesmom

titan18 wrote: »

Just want to punch stuff. Awful day

Sorry to hear that. Tomorrow is another day.

Gremlinertia

It's beautiful out, i'm off this weekend for first time in ages and i can't get off the ****ing couch. I'm afraid if i move the carefully constructed calm will be destroyed and it could get worse. And however bad this is i don't know if i can handle worse.

podmu80

Afternoon everyone,

I've been following this thread for a very long time, but this is my first time posting. Not sure if anyone will even read this but in a strange way, I take comfort in the fact others know what I'm dealing with. This isn't a sob story or anything, I just want to get it off my chest as I don't have anyone to talk too here. Not really good at explaining myself,so forgive me.
I'm 32,live in cork, have social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and depression. I have been living with it since my teens but its got harder in the last few years. I'm lucky enough to have a full time job, and I tell myself how lucky I am to have one. Over the last 10 years, I have tried everything possible to overcome my issues, medication, cbt, even hypnosis. Nothing has worked. Over the last few years, I've almost thought myself how to live with my panic attacks, but its the social anxiety that gets to me the most. I probably can't even explain how bad this is. I've only ever had a small group of friends,but they've obviously moved on in life, got married, moved away, the usual. So, apart from seeing them from time to time, I don't have a social life. I avoid family occassions as much as I can, although there is a wedding next year which is already causing me stress. Sometimes it upsets me to see everyone else settle down, and know I can never have that. My biggest dream would to become a father, but I simply cannot ever see that happening and am begining to accept that now. Even though I've giving up on being happy, I will never give up on life.
I haven't posted here to ask for help or advice on how to beat this, believe me, I've tried it all. Maybe I can connect on here with people who know what its like. Most of all, I wanted to get it out and get whats going on in m head down on paper,so to speak. It hepled a little:-)

Thanks to anyone who reads this.

nonames

This is awesome thread....well this is my story i got anxiety about 3 year when i first got it i didnt know want was happen to me i thought i was dying of something serious. took me a few months to go to the doctor it help finding out what is was even if the doctor wasnt very helpful first his put me on cirol i coundnt take these at all i know you will get side affect but i just couldn't deal with them. so i decided that i won't take any meds... but had to go back to him after a few months because it still was very bad. he put me on prothaiden ( anyone heard of them) and also found a book that helped At last alife its very good.. throw the years my anxiety had ease well able to live with it get on with live... until last friday when i had my first full blown panic attack.. prob the most frighting thing i went throw it my whole life i really thought i was having a heart attack.. anyway call the ambulance they know it was a panic attack told me to go see my doc.he up my dosage and gave me 10 gerax to clam me down.... but since than my anxiety as being very bad

Thanks for reading and sorry about the bad english

Call Me Jimmy

Easily the most difficult period of my life, it just hasn't gone away like it usually does. Feeling sub-human, spasming in pain all day. Feel like I'm standing 2 inches from a concrete wall with my eyes fixed on it the whole time, all day every day. Feel pathetic, feel disgusting, feel old, feel dead inside.

What will become of me? Nothing, if the worst happens its not a big deal, if I were to ignore all the thoughts about reality and turn my life round in any way it's still not a big deal.It feels like the end. But it probably won't be, in which case I have a long life of isolation and becoming a freak to look forward to, where I'll probably end up becoming a danger to others in the future. Bit of a catch 22.

Forest Demon

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Easily the most difficult period of my life, it just hasn't gone away like it usually does. Feeling sub-human, spasming in pain all day. Feel like I'm standing 2 inches from a concrete wall with my eyes fixed on it the whole time, all day every day. Feel pathetic, feel disgusting, feel old, feel dead inside.

What will become of me? Nothing, if the worst happens its not a big deal, if I were to ignore all the thoughts about reality and turn my life round in any way it's still not a big deal.It feels like the end. But it probably won't be, in which case I have a long life of isolation and becoming a freak to look forward to, where I'll probably end up becoming a danger to others in the future. Bit of a catch 22.

I know exactly how you feel mate. I was doing so well but have gone seriously downhill. Its one step forward and two steps back.

I got diagnosed with two types of Arthritis last week and with all the other crap that I am dealing with both mentally and physically I can't see a future

jack_rambo

hi there

ive been taking lexapro ( 5 g ) for around six months for anxiety and its working very well , ive been off alcohol since then , was never a big drinker but would like a drink at the weekend , i realise that no doctor will recomend drinking while taking any kind of medication but surely a pint wouldnt do any harm ?

dar926

jack_rambo wrote: »

hi there

ive been taking lexapro ( 5 g ) for around six months for anxiety and its working very well , ive been off alcohol since then , was never a big drinker but would like a drink at the weekend , i realise that no doctor will recomend drinking while taking any kind of medication but surely a pint wouldnt do any harm ?

Im on Lexapro and other meds...if I was to have a pint it usually knocks me back two days.. two days of S*** for a couple of hours respite.. I personally dont think its worth it but thats just me

jack_rambo

dar926 wrote: »

Im on Lexapro and other meds...if I was to have a pint it usually knocks me back two days.. two days of S*** for a couple of hours respite.. I personally dont think its worth it but thats just me

when you say knocks you back , are you talking about a hangover or anxiety ?

dar926

jack_rambo wrote: »

when you say knocks you back , are you talking about a hangover or anxiety ?

It gives me anxiety and I dont feel right all round...It sort of stops my meds dead in their tracks and takes me a few days to get my head back together..but im on serequal and lyrica as well with the lexapro so im not sure if it would be the same for you

Hersheys

Talk to your doc or pharmacist. Or read the leaflet.

On an aside, 5g of lexapro is a lot. Do you mean 5 mg?

I have taken lexapro previously & had a few drinks but it's best to ask a medical pro who knows you.

bluesylu

this is my first time posting here, I've been on a downward spiral since the age of about 19 possibly earlier am 28 now. When I say downward spiral I mean that my head is f**king up my whole life, I don't understand how it operates I really don't. I can be going along nice and normal not a bother chatting away and then suddenly the panic takes over and if I don't get out of that particular social situation i'll crack up I literally start sweating and have to think of an excuse and bolt away. The last two years have been really bad between losing my job, moving back in with the parentals, developing binge eating tendencys and even more pronounced depression and social panic I've reached a stage where I just can't deal with it anymore - i'm not suicidal I just don't know what to do anymore and it feels like i'll never get better and be 'well'. Not looking for sympathy just felt like having an ol' rant to people who understand...

Hersheys

bluesylu wrote: »

this is my first time posting here, I've been on a downward spiral since the age of about 19 possibly earlier am 28 now. When I say downward spiral I mean that my head is f**king up my whole life, I don't understand how it operates I really don't. I can be going along nice and normal not a bother chatting away and then suddenly the panic takes over and if I don't get out of that particular social situation i'll crack up I literally start sweating and have to think of an excuse and bolt away. The last two years have been really bad between losing my job, moving back in with the parentals, developing binge eating tendencys and even more pronounced depression and social panic I've reached a stage where I just can't deal with it anymore - i'm not suicidal I just don't know what to do anymore and it feels like i'll never get better and be 'well'. Not looking for sympathy just felt like having an ol' rant to people who understand...

Welcome

titan18

For any other self harmers here, what do you do to clean up the blood after cutting, just wash it away or anything in particular.

Hersheys

Facewipes or antiseptic wipes mainly. I find that tissue gets stuck.

want to disappear

podmu80 wrote: »

Afternoon everyone,

I've been following this thread for a very long time, but this is my first time posting. Not sure if anyone will even read this but in a strange way, I take comfort in the fact others know what I'm dealing with. This isn't a sob story or anything, I just want to get it off my chest as I don't have anyone to talk too here. Not really good at explaining myself,so forgive me.
I'm 32,live in cork, have social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and depression. I have been living with it since my teens but its got harder in the last few years. I'm lucky enough to have a full time job, and I tell myself how lucky I am to have one. Over the last 10 years, I have tried everything possible to overcome my issues, medication, cbt, even hypnosis. Nothing has worked. Over the last few years, I've almost thought myself how to live with my panic attacks, but its the social anxiety that gets to me the most. I probably can't even explain how bad this is. I've only ever had a small group of friends,but they've obviously moved on in life, got married, moved away, the usual. So, apart from seeing them from time to time, I don't have a social life. I avoid family occassions as much as I can, although there is a wedding next year which is already causing me stress. Sometimes it upsets me to see everyone else settle down, and know I can never have that. My biggest dream would to become a father, but I simply cannot ever see that happening and am begining to accept that now. Even though I've giving up on being happy, I will never give up on life.
I haven't posted here to ask for help or advice on how to beat this, believe me, I've tried it all. Maybe I can connect on here with people who know what its like. Most of all, I wanted to get it out and get whats going on in m head down on paper,so to speak. It hepled a little:-)

Thanks to anyone who reads this.

Thanks for posting. My story is pretty similar. It's nice to know there are other people out there going through the same thing

silverwex

Hi all, saw the Doc last week and I was prescribed Lexapro. 5mg for first week, then 10mg for forseeable future. I am not going to be on this long term, just for a few months (I hope!). I decided to keep track of my progress so that I can see any improvements and for others just to see a real-time journal if you are considering this SSRI medication.

BACKGROUND:

The main reason I am on this is due to a break up but there are some other slight factors too. I have always been AWFUL with breakups regardless if I do the breaking up or not.

Her and me fought a lot, didn't fully trust one another, I wasnt feeling it (even though she wanted us to settle down) and some other stuff; so I called it a day about 3 weeks back. Fast forward 2 weeks and I realised I missed her but she couldn't take me back as I hurt her too many times in the past - que the heartbreak

DAY 1 - SUNDAY 28th April - 2.5mg

I have decided to go on 2.5mg for two days to ease into it. Then go on the 5mg for 6 days and then up dosage to 10mg as I am a bit worried about side effects.

Took it about 11:30pm. No effect and proper nights sleep ensued.

DAY 2 - Monday 29th April - 2.5mg

This dosage was SLIGHTLY more due to the pill being broken unequally from yesterday. Had played footy earlier and had these bad thoughts racing through my mind even during the match (to be graphic I had those gut wrentching thoughts of her 'in bed' with some other guy - horrible!

Took 2.5mg after match about 9:30pm.

Strangely enough these thoughts have subsided somewhat and dont really effect me as they were earlier. Placebo? Maybe I was on a high from the exercise? I actually think it was the Lex helping to be honest as I am usually drained after soccer and my mind races regardless if Im in good or bad mood.

Happy it seems to be helping. My mood is good and I dont have obsessive thoughts much at the moment. No side effects. 5mg dosage tomorrow! Gulp!

Hersheys

Crippled with anxiety tonight. Will it ever end!!

Did something I regret today so now just waiting for the repercussions.

Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. And it could be worse I suppose.

jobeenfitz

I had a panic attack when I was in my mid twenties but didn't know at the time what it was. Was sorta hospitalised at the time( field hospital with army in Lebanon). It was only 4 years ago when had similar incident, thought I was dying with a heart attack that I found out what was really going on. Last year I missed work for six weeks and was sent to works doctor who asked me what I had done during this time. I told her I stayed in bed every day til 3 or 4pm and done feck all after getting up. She said I should have gone to Doctor and sought help as she thought I was depressed or suffering from low mood. If I could have survived without money I don't think I would have went back to work. I think some doctors(GPs) don't know how to deal with non-physical illness. My doctor made an appointment for me with a psychologist but over a year later have heard nothing. I regularly get close to having attacks but am doing well with reassuring myself that it is only a panic attic and it seems to be working. I recently seen advert on AWARE site for course for depression/low mood and it does help with understanding my thought process. I am two weeks into it and its free. I feel my issues may be minor in comparison to others but I'm hoping to do something about it in case it just gets worse. I think it is hard to get proper help in this country because the system is so clogged up, so many seeking so few resources. That's why I think we have to try and seek out help wherever possible as the system won't find us. I would reccommend the AWARE course to people who have issues and have not already had professional help. Its not a bad starting point. Its not intimidating, it could even be described as light hearted.

titan18

Sitting here trying to study, and all I think of is what's the point, treatment isn't working and even if I'm alive for a while, I don't see myself working in this area. Not even sure if I'll make it to the exams, never mind doing well in them.

Forest Demon

titan18 wrote: »

Sitting here trying to study, and all I think of is what's the point, treatment isn't working and even if I'm alive for a while, I don't see myself working in this area. Not even sure if I'll make it to the exams, never mind doing well in them.

Its a nightmare trying to study for exams when you are depressed. I had my MBA finals at a time when I was in the middle of a really bad time. The only thing I would say is just stick with it and even do the bare minimum if that is all you can handle and give the exams a try. You will not feel better for giving up, even if it is not an area that you don't want to work in.

Things might improve for you in the future and you could look back and regret not giving it a final go. I know its easier said than done as I have all the motivation of a damp cloth myself. I got through mine. Scraped a couple and did not get the overall mark I wanted but I am glad I at least finished it. One of the very few things I did stick out to the end.

Best of luck either way.

galwayjohn89

titan18 wrote: »

Sitting here trying to study, and all I think of is what's the point, treatment isn't working and even if I'm alive for a while, I don't see myself working in this area. Not even sure if I'll make it to the exams, never mind doing well in them.

I feel the exact same way. Sitting here trying to learn stuff I don't care about just to regurgitate tomorrow and then forget about it. Not even sure if I'll be continuing next year so really struggling to see the point of getting out of bed, let alone studying

Gremlinertia

I have no exams and feel like i'm wasting my time.. Was off sick for a few days and totally forgot that it's now my holidays so i'm just frustrated, and so i drank like a loon and now flatmate isn't talking to me.. I know i have to apologise, just not sure how. Not if she won't stay in same room as me..

ncur

Hey, just browsing through last few pages, so although I'm sure it's been asked before, would any posters have specific recommendations for any books that they've found helpful in alleviating symptoms or even the depression itself? By the way, well done to all who've taken the first step to recovery, it's the first that's the hardest I think.

handbagmad

Very down tonight been following the thread just no want to post.
i feel invisable worthless ugly stupid and all that goes with it.
all i can say for now

nonames

Hey I'm on prohaidtin for anxiety.., not sure if there working.. Anyone got any info on them???

LoveCoke

nonames wrote: »

Hey I'm on prohaidtin for anxiety.., not sure if there working.. Anyone got any info on them???

Dothiepin. One of the more sedating of the tricyclic antidepressants. Actually spelt Prothiaden. can cause blurred vision/weight gain as can most if not all trycyclics. Saw someone with bad anxiety do very well with it over a year of treatment. Not medical advice